Hi there. My 7 month old son has been spending the first part of the night in the co-sleeper and then moves in next to me pretty much after the first feeding at 10 or 11 or so. I've been nursing / bouncing him to sleep and he generally would go in stretches of 3 hours then 4 -5 then a few frequent wake-ups, comfort nurses in the morning. Now it's time to move him into his own bed (we moved his older brother at this age) and things have gone downhill fast. (The first time around, we moved brother and he just slept the same way he had been sleeping but in the crib in our room. At 1 year, crib in his room was no big deal.)
Now he's not only waking more frequently at the start of the night, but all through it, and staying up from about 3 - 4! So I've been reading Ferber and am ready to make a plan. Thing is, I feel like there are a lot of things to deal with, so I've got some questions.
- Do I wait and see if that 3 am - 4 am party ends before I start? Ferber says that if they have a long stretch like that, it's not a good time to start training because they are likely to cry through that whole time.
- Do I spend a few nights not feeding him at night-time wakings first to get that hurdle behind me first? I have been stretching out the time between feedings, but it's gotten so hard these past few nights, that at times I've been "stretching" to 2 hours!
- Moving him into his own bed has clearly rattled him...do I just suck it up and make the move and do the sleep training all at once?
I know that there are strong feelings about co-sleeping, sleep training, etc....I was initially opposed to any sort of "training" but I am ready to move this guy out of our bed and help him learn how to sleep.
Thanks!
Dr. Sears is an expert in this field. He has great ideas on how to help sleep transition and especially for transitioning the night nursing here:
night weaning:
http://askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/sleep-problems/nig...
sleep aids:
http://askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/sleep-problems
Your 2 children are very different individuals and this is just the beginning of learning that. You simply can't compare the 2--it's like apples and oranges. Please do your research before you decide to let your little one "cry it out." 7 months is VERY young for this type of neglect of his needs. He has genuine needs for comfort and food during the night and crying is his only way to make those known. Current research on the subject can be found at : http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html and at www.askdrsears.com.
When making changes to a child's routine, please move very slowly. Only attempt to change one thing/habit every 5-7 days. Children can adapt, but they need to feel secure and loved during the process. And remember, some breastfed babies need feedings during the night until 12 months or even beyond. There's no one rule that fits all children. Please be patient and realize that this stage will pass very quickly. Midwife Mom of 3
I don't have the book handy, but if I recall correctly, Ferber said you can address all the sleep crutches at the same time, or take them one at a time, or a few at a time. Whatever you think is going to work best for your household. Just be prepared, that you might have to do the intervals and the week -2 week training for each crutch you seek to eliminate if you choose to do them one at a time.
good luck to you and yours. remember, be strong.
I never co-slept with my daughter but I did breastfeed and it was just easier for those first few months to have her as close as possible. So I had a pack n play with the bassinet attachment and I would just have her in that beside the bed. When I thought it was time to start training her to sleep in her own bed in her own room I started with her naps during the day. She was about 3 to 3 and a half months at that point and I went with this for a few weeks and by 5 months she was sleeping in her room all the time. Personally when I look back it was definitely harder on me than her to let go of the closeness. She was perfectly fine with the switch - but I do think a lot had to do with easing her into the switch and making that sleeping connection with her bed/crib
Good Luck
Kids are all different. They react to changes differently than even their siblings. My first daughter transitioned to her crib with absolutely no problem. My second was a nightmare. Even with the crib right next to my bed. I had to throw out my "old" way of thinking and embrace something new. The fact is that some babies just don't sleep through the night at 7 months old. They still need to be fed on demand, even if that means it's in the middle of the night.
If Ferber suggests waiting until the hour long "party" is over, then that's what I would do.
I would start with putting the crib in your room, not in a separate room. Start him in his own bed at the start of the night. If he wakes and seems hungry, feed him, then put him back in his bed. You can gently pat his back until he falls asleep. If he wants comfort, then snuggle him, but don't necessarily nurse. But, personally, I'd wait until he's a least a year.
I agree that more feedings durring the day is going to be key. You need to get him sleeping longer at night before transitioning him. Play with him more throughout the day and make sure you have a solid bedtime routine. I started bedtime routines with my kids from day one and both of my girls started sleeping through the night since they were two months old. Once you get him sleeping longer through the night then you can start putting him in his crib. You might need to have a few nights of comforting but don't let him use you as a pacifier or he will never be able to sooth himself. Maybe even try giving him a small stuffed animal only when he is in his crib so he knows that this means bedtime. Good luck! Sleep training does not happen over night but if you do it now you will have a better sleeping toddler.
Your FIRST MOVE should be INCREASE EATING during the day significantly for at least three whole days before doing anything. NO matter how full you think he is, believe me, he can eat more if he's waking at night. It takes the body time to register it, so make sure it is for several days in a row.
When he is more full, he most likely won't wake up at night anyway, and any training you do will be much easier. Any child waking at night to eat is too hungry to sleep through. He is plenty old enough to sleep through, but you need to fill him up more. If he doesn't want to eat any more during the day than you already feed him, I would delay the whole process until he does.
