Pillows in Bed with Baby

Once they can roll around and escape themselves, I think it's fine. My son has used a pillow under his sheet since about 6 months and then at 12 months I moved it outside of the sheets.
Maybe you can or she can go get a sheet for the pack n play and put it under that? That way he can't roll underneath the pillow.

My suggestion: tell her you would be willing to do with a note from the doctor giving his/her okay and instructions on how it is to be placed.

A waiver is good, but my thought is that you also want this child's doctor to approve (doubt they will).

good luck!

dont do it, get a pillow wedge and use that, its not fluffy, but it will rest up against the baby, and print off some sids info and show that momma to save that baby's life...
better safe than sorry
i lost a baby to sids, without pillows in the bed, but why tempt fate
L. d

Waivers really don't protect a person from liability. The real question is whether or not you are licensed and what do the current state standards say if you are. Since we don't have to be licensed here in Missouri, you can do what the parent asks IF you are not licensed. If you are, then you must follow the guidelines you have already agreed to with the state.

I think it personally depends on the child. I've had some children that pull pillows over their heads. So I keep them in the pack and play near me and take the pillow away from them quietly once they fall asleep like that. I don't believe a child should be alone in a bed in another room. The way we have our house set up, we have someone in each nap room. At 9 months they are old enough to desire a pillow. Many children fall asleep on the pillow, on their tummies, with their butt up in the air. If you are nearbye to keep an eye on them they won't smother themselves.

Since you are caring for children in your home you are responsible for keeping them safe, I think you are very wise to have policies such as "no pillows in bed under 18 months". The American Academy of Pediatrics states that pillows, soft objects and blankets should not be used in the child's crib because of the potential danger, I've never met a pediatrician who disagreed with this. If you continue to take the pillow from the mother, just don't use it, it sounds like the child is sleeping fine w/out it. You could also just tell the mother, "sorry, I won't be using the pillow because it goes against my policy, your child's safety here is my number one priority and I won't be taking any chances." How could someone argue with that!?

FLAT OUT...just say NO! Not only is it a suffocation hazard....when that child is older, it will be a stepping stone to climb out!

Your house. Your rules. A signed waiver will not ease the pain of losing a child.....for you or her.

Tell her "NO", and that you will not take the chance of something happening to her child. No matter how much she claims it's "OK", if that child dies while you are caring for him because you put a pillow in the crib, she will blame you and you will have to live with it for the rest of your life.
Stand your ground on this.

My girls got pillows at 12 months. I think if she wants the baby to have a pillow, then you should let the baby have a pillow. Obviously, the child is sleeping with the pillow at home and it hasn't been an issue. Maybe give the baby the pillow and see how he uses it. If he's sleeping with his face smushed in it, then obviously no pillow. However if he's sleeping on her back or side, I don't see any reason for him to not have his pillow. It doesn't sound like the baby is napping well at your house, and that's probably why she brought the pillow along.

Ultimately, it's your house and your rules though.

My husband I talked about this. We both think you should tell her NO! If something happens to that baby you will 1. have to live with it, could you? 2. Lose everything you have ever worked for and your license to take care of children. If she threatens to find another babysitter what do you care? Thee are other children out there who need sitters. If I ever caused a child to be hurt I couldn't live with myself.

I wouldn't want to relive the "what ifs" if something happened- I'd say no.

Check your state law/health dept. rules. In Indiana, I was told by my son's childcare provider that she was not "allowed" to put anything in the crib with him! Not even a blankie. She even provided sleep sacks if they needed it.

I would refuse. It's your butt on the line if something happens. Even if you have the mother sign a waiver, will it make you feel any better if something DOES happen to the child??

If she is insisting and won't drop it, just tell her you will have to move the baby to a mat on the floor because you will not tolerate a pillow in a crib or pack n play. Good luck.

I agree with CM you definitely will want to get a doctors signed permission to do this. Also, like she said a waiver. I would be very leery about doing this as it can be so dangerous. I have so many parents come up with some crazy ways of getting their children to sleep-makes me wonder what made them try these things in the first place? Just senseless…..hth

I agree with C.M. - a doctor's note AND a signed waiver from the parents (BOTH of them). If mom is going to insist that you do things her way (which is her right, since it is her child), then you must insist that she takes ALL reponsibility (which is your right, as an outside caretaker).

If you're not comfortable doing this than don't. But, I thought pillows weren't a problem once baby could roll over. I would think at 9 months this wouldn't even be a concern.

If the child needs the pillow to cuddle while he sleeps, what's the big deal? If you would feel more comfortable having her sign a waiver, then do that. But as a retired child care provider, the fear of SIDS that has made new mothers and health professionals so paranoid about putting anything in cribs with babies is becoming ridiculous. My brothers and sisters and I, and my own children survived sleeping with teddy bears, pillows and crib bumpers. The real issue is whether you would be negligent in checking on the baby frequently enough to make sure he is safe with the pillow while he's asleep. My new grandson wouldn't sleep for more than 20 minutes on his back, and his parents were so sleep deprived that I finally intervened. I volunteered to take care of him throughout the night so they could get some sleep. I put him on his tummy to sleep, and he slept all night (7 hours!) for the first time. His parents were still dubious, so to quell their fears I bought them the more expensive baby monitor which is motion activated. The alarm goes off if there is no movement (such as breathing) registering on the pad for 20 seconds. It eased their minds, Alex and his parents now sleep all night, and everyone's happy. Give the kid his pillow, he needs the rest!

I would say for sure go without the pillow. I think that she is probably insisting because this is maybe what she does at home to get the baby to sleep and it seems to work for her so she assumes that you will NEED it to get the baby to sleep. Obviously this is not the norm and is as you said very dangerous so I would just graciously take the pillow and put it aside for the day. Maybe comment on how seriously dangerous it is to use one with an infant but keep it at that and continue to put the baby down for their nap withOUT the pillow
Good Luck

I have always been super paranoid about sids and babies suffocating.... I didn't sleep for like 3 months after my 1st daughter was born cause I was up making sure she was still breathing all night! :o) Then we got one of the "Angel Care Monitors" and I LOVE it! It has a motion censor that goes under the mattress (and you can do it in a pack&play too) and if the baby stops breathing, an alarm goes off. I used to watch kids at my house and my rule was that the parents had to buy one for them to use at my house! It made me SO much more comfortable while they were sleeping!
I think he'd be fine with a pillow... I NEVER gave my babies pillows for that reason but my youngest (who just turned 1) insists on sleeping propped up! Since she was a baby she'd work her way onto the bumper to sleep or wad her blanket up under her head. I finally gave her a pillow that is as wide as her crib and it's great! (of course I still use the monitor too!) :o)

Well, I don't really know what I would do. I suppose responses from others who run daycares would be more helpful than me, but I did want to say that if you just draw up a waiver on your own it probably won't be legally binding. Since the baby is able to roll on it's own, etc. and they do this at home, nothing will likely happen, but I understand why you'd be worried...I would be too. So, I'd maybe consider getting a legal document before you let it happen, but maybe I'm being too extreme. Good luck!

I wouldn't do it. You would be liable if something happened.

Updated

I wouldn't do it. You would be liable if something happened.

I would consult an attorney before I draw up any papers. There is a reason attorneys attend school for years and pay thousands. Good luck!

Why do you have to use the pillow if mom is gone?

I dont know bout up there but the rules for in home daycare providers are very strict in Texas. babies are required to sleep on their backs until they are able to roll over themselves. No pillows in cribs whatsoever, they can have a pillow once they have been moved to sleeping on a nap mat.

Both of my children were prescribed by their pediatrician to have a pillow in their cribs, under the bedding so they couldn't move it, after 6 weeks for treatment of reflux. We provided a note to their daycares and it wasn't a problem.

I think you should be able to make the rules--rules you are comfortable with--for your daycare. If the mom feels strongly enough about the issue, then she can choose another daycare that might accommodate her wishes.

In this case, because a pillow is a possible suffocation hazard for a baby, I think you shouldn't risk going against your best judgment. What if something happened to the baby while in your care? Stand your ground.

I would make her sign the waiver.

Just do what other sitters have done in the past and present too. Tell her you let the child sleep with the pillow but only put in the pillow case.

I don't see it as such a big deal. If the child can roll over front and back then a pillow isn't a problem. Can this child roll? If so then put the pillow in there even though it will take up most of the pack and play. If the child can't roll just avoid the subject or keep the pillow near by.

Problem solved. I hope.

I would refuse, even if you were exempt from legal issues, does that form exempt you from guilt if something happened in your home? Even though it wouldn't be your fault, I'm sure you would still be upset by it and that's something that if it goes bad, it can't be fixed. My daycare refused until they were in the 3yr old class, school policy. Good luck!!

Note: we do use a pillow under my 4month old son's mattress to elevate it (fits the mattress width well) for his reflux. The school does the same thing, per our doctors note. But neither of us put it so the child can get to it or so they can lie directly on it. If reflux is an issue, then put it under the mattress (I do this in my pack n play as well).

Why do you feel you have to even use it? So she gave you a pillow to use... when she leaves for the day YOU are incharge. It sounds like she is a very stubborn woman that won't change her mind no matter what you tell her. I would just put the pillow in the corner and do what you feel is right. Save your breath for a fight you can win. Just accept the pillow but don't use it. Good luck!!!