Phone and Electronic Rules for Teens

we don't allow calls OR TEXTING after 9PM unless it's an emergency and an emergency is stated as:
life threatening
fire
auto accident
threat of suicide

Otherwise? It can wait until morning. And we don't got for calls or texting until after 7AM - when the kids are getting ready for school...I prefer 9AM but things do happen before school.

Phones are left on the desk at night. Not in rooms.

My daughter is 22 and living on her own through college. She had a phone by middle school and we've always provided her phone.

We never set any hard fast rules. Just mutual respect for each other and others... meaning common sense to not use your phone during conversations, driving? Etc

She's a good kid and we never had any issues. She was very involved in sports and academics so phone time was not her priority.

When you preface your question by dictating our responses, you're basically saying to us "don't respond unless you have my views". Sometimes it's nice to have another viewpoint which could possibly enlighten you a bit and it's not judgy if someone doesn't have the same view.

:)

Let them know that as long as you are paying for their devices - you will be monitoring them.
And then follow through with doing it.
So if they even think about sending nude photos - you will be aware - and just the fear that you will find out should hopefully be enough to keep them away from some trouble.
Our son got a basic phone in middle school just to keep us in the loop with his activities.
For college we all got smart phones - FaceTime once in awhile while he's far away is a real relief for everyone.
While they are at home and need sleep - keep phones out of the bedrooms so they aren't playing or texting all night long.
I'd also consider installing some basic rules for when it's proper to put the darn thing down.
When the family is eating together, etc - they can be out of contact while they are eating and conversing with family at the table.
And get them into a habit of turning it off when ever they get into a car.
Once they are driving hopefully the habit will be second nature by then.
I saw a teen flip a car landing upside down in a 10 ft ditch because they were texting behind the wheel.
They lived (seat belt saved them) with no injuries but totaled the car.
They NEED to be scared of what texting while driving can do.
It scares the heck out of me!

I have a 13-year-old so no firsthand experience but I think my rules as she gets older will be:

--as long as I'm paying the bill, I reserve the right to check anything on the phone. Even now, this is less because I DO than because I could. It's mostly because I want her to keep in mind that her mother/father could see anything she sends.

--Location services will be on.

--Phone stays downstairs (or wherever for you is out of the bedroom) at bedtime.

Up until a certain age, phone were turned in at night at bedtime. After a certain age (you can decide which ages work for you based on the maturity of your child), we turned off data between certain hours and asked that no texting happened between 1 hr after bedtime (which they had to be in their rooms, but could be awake or not, their choice), and 1 hr before morning sport started. I would randomly spot check the texting times on my phone, but generally if homework was being turned in, and kids were getting up on their own in the morning and not arriving late to school, I didn't get too worried about it. Our kids did a lot of sports and activities, plus worked jobs so they were pretty interested in sleep when it was time :) If your 15 year old has the energy to stay up all night and text, perhaps she needs to be busier with other things during the day.

We did NOT do phones in middle school, so we started out with our rules later than you did since our kids got cell phones so much later. Good luck.

Depends on your kids, really. Our eldest was a little more "adventurous" about misuse of the phone. We took it for 2 weeks. After that we really didn't have any issues, and we didn't set hard and fast rules after he was a junior in high school. Prior, the phones were left in the kitchen when they went to bed. We had no set bed time, but before they went, the phones went in the kitchen.
Both kids were fairly early to bed types by high school. The rules have been mostly simple stuff. Find my Phone stays enabled. Period. We have the option to look at (or take) the phone at any time at are discretion since it is ours, and we pay for it. You will keep it in the case provided (if you have an issue with the case, we'll discuss, but generally, they stay in Otterbox defender cases, and we have never had a phone broken or screen cracked on one). They are not used at the dinner table (whether at home or restaurant), unless there is a specific reason (sometimes in the course of conversation while waiting in restaurants either for the food, or the check, we would be stumped on what year a movie was released, or who sang such and such song, and someone in the group would google the answer... but it was part of a group conversation, not someone isolating themselves looking at the phone).
No use while driving. No using during school against school rules. It's a communication tool WE are providing for you to communicate with US. So you will. Text when you arrive at your destination, and when you leave to come home. Text with changes in plans. Respond to my texts (if you aren't driving, etc).
You will not post inappropriate pictures. I will have access to all your accounts. And you will friend me on your social accounts. (These last ones mostly for our daughter, as our son is grown and adulting now and getting his own phone account, too. But once he turned 18, everything was a courtesy, not a requirement with him, and he became very courteous.)

They both have ended up using phones as their alarm clocks. I didn't get it, until I started using my own as my alarm clock. It works very well, is easy to change (unlike most night stand type alarms), the time is always accurate, and you can adjust the volume or sound to whatever works best for you. So the "not in the bedroom" and "turn it in before bed" rules stopped applying. Our youngest is on her phone a lot, but doesn't stay up on it all hours. She is a good student, and grades and such are high priorities to her. She doesn't do anything to jeopardize her performance at school. She gets up on her own, drives herself, and sets her own bedtime (which is rarely very late, and if it is it's a weekend, or Thursday when she doesn't have dual enrollment classes, so doesn't report to school until 10:45 am).

Kids who push and test limits, need more defined limits. Kids who try to do the right thing need more guidance than hard and fast rules. Either way, they need a little space to make mistakes, b/c eventually they won't have you making those rules and they need to learn self discipline regarding device use, just like everything else.

I established some boundaries for phone use. Any use during school hours would result in the loss of phone (1st time, 24 hours, 2nd time, 3 days, etc). Any use after a certain hour at night, same thing. Any use during a meal that was served at a table, or during church, same thing. And complete transparency of all passwords.

I showed them how I could log onto Verizon and see exactly who they called and texted, and when, and let them know that I would do that weekly.

And one thing that really helped was for them to sit down with me when the bill arrived. One of them bought a ring tone that ended up costing several dollars that wasn't pre-approved. One of them texted a premium text number that also cost money. So they had to learn about that stuff and pay for the first such infraction. Any future unapproved purchases resulted in loss of phone and also paying for the charges.

We had them sign contracts, outlining the rules. The contract stated that they must always be in possession of the phone (as in not lending it to a friend or losing it carelessly), that they may not purchase any apps or extras without discussing it first with us, when the turn-in time was at night, the during-school-hours and mealtimes ban, etc. And the contract stated the penalties for breaking the rules. After all, we sign contracts with Verizon for using their services, and there are certain rules that we may not break, and terms, and payment plans, so why shouldn't the kids learn about that kind of thing and sign a simpler form of a contract with the parents who are paying the bill?

Our kids had them in middle school too - I don't know a kid that didn't. That's not to say I was all for it - I was not. My kids however paid for them. That was my one requirement. They still do. That still doesn't make me feel great about them - but I wasn't going to make it easy for them.

Rules. Well, we do monitor - 'hand it over' with no notice kind of thing.

We have had a couple of learning experiences. Phones have been confiscated. Lessons were learned - the hard way. We are all for learning the hard way. Phones had to be earned back.

Our kids have them in their rooms at night. Here's the thing. My kids get up early for practice. They learned the hard way if they were on their phones late, they still had to get up and be by the van bright and early. So mostly they learn by experience. We have rules but if they break them, they learn consequences mostly themselves.

We do step in if we notice anything amiss. Having teens that tattle on each other is helpful. I hear things and will 'snoop' quite often.

We dont have any rules.

I still frequently tell my 14 yo daughter though to assume anything she texts, posts etc. will be read by the recipient’s parents and friends so if she doesn’t want them to read it she shouldn’t put it in writing.

Your question is very vague - you do not give your childrens' ages or any information about the rules you had established before now.

From reading your previous questions, I guess you have two daughters, ages 15 and 16?

So I guess one good rule for that age group is "no sexting allowed".

Are there other rules you had in mind? What do they mainly use their devices for? Do they use their devices for school projects, for email related to school activities?

Phones are necessities. People who don't think that just don't understand how much the world has changed. Being connected is a big deal in just about every situation.

If you have a problem with their connection time then turn off the modem at a certain time each evening. Giving them a 10 minute notice in case they're working on something and need to save it

Then make sure you have the date turned off on their lines. We manage this on the kids phones and it works well.

But if the kid wants to be awake they're going to be awake. That's a different issue.

By the way, we do not take our kids phones away as punishment unless their misdeed is related to the phone.

Using the phone as leverage only makes the phone less to them and it ends up not working anymore.

At our house, the only electronics other than phone, are only used for homework during the school week. My GD turns in her phone every night to me at 9:30 - weekday or weekend. On Sundays, electronics go off at 8:00 p.m.