Personal Attendant

I was a personal attendant for my friend. It sounds like you have a goood description of what they are supposed to do. All in all, I did not end up doing anything for the bride. It was a blizzard and I had a small child with the flu..Long story short, I didn't make it to the house before the wedding so didn't get to attend her there. She had tons of aunts and her mom,cousins etc. I ended up feeling like I failed her somehow. I don't know. It was an awkward situation. Looking back, I was thinking was I supposed to follow her around all night asking if she needed something? I didn't know I was supposed to pin up her train after the wedding. ..I had a nontraditional wedding and didn't really know what I was supposed to do. Plus her mom was a total control freak and did everything for her. I may be rambling at this point so I guess I am just sharing my experience so you get a feel for things she might want to consider.

Yes, that all sounds right. Basically, you are the bride's go-to person for any and everything from mending a ripped dress to helping her go to the bathroom (it's tricky with to pee in a ballgown!).

As a personal attendant for my cousins wedding I made an "emergency" case. I bought one of those square/rectangle makeup bags...the one that zips around and the top flips back....and I filled it with all sorts of "emergency" stuff, in travel size: kleenex, sewing kit, tic tacs, gum, razor, toothbrush & paste, lighter, asprin, anti-diaherra meds, cold meds, cough drops, allergy pills, shout wipes, static guard, contact case/solution, etc. It costs about $40 to do, but it SO nice and you can give it as a present. I still use mine...one of my bridesmaids did it for me.

Then she helped with all the little details to make things go smoothly. She made sure people were in their places, took me to the bathroom, got me things if I needed them, helped with pictures....it was SUCH a relief to have someone be SUCH a great help!

These days personal attendant can mean many things. Those are right, basically she would do whatever the bride needed/wanted. It could include being in charge of a list of pictures and making sure the right people are there. I've seen personal attendants steaming dresses, helping the bride and bridesmaids get dressed, handing out bouquets, pinning flowers, etc etc. She should just talk with the bride and ask her what her expectations are. Good luck!

Yes, that sounds about right - she will be mostly the bride's helper. In addition to the things you mentioned, I would make sure she has a sewing kit with thread the color of the birdal gown and the color of the bridesmaids gowns, and some black....in the past, there have been 3 weddings I have had to sew something back on or back together - one groom's button on his coat, one bride's buttons for holdingthe train up as a bustle after the wedding, and one where we had 3 bridesmaid dresses start to come apart just before we were to walk down the aisle, one had a seam bust, one strap came detached and one waist tie came unsewed at one side!!!!

Also maybe a few extra pairs of panyt hose and some clear nail polish for runs, and maybe some hairspray and combs/hair brushes and bobby pins would be good!

Tell her she could possibly save the day if she is prepared for anything!

Jessie

All the responses are great and I will only add one thing to the "emergency kit". For any stains that may not come out of the wedding dress with the stain removers, etc. suggested, have some white out on hand (of course this only works if the dress is white LOL). It will come in handy for scuffs on white shoes as well. It's a very busy (and stressful) job, but it's very rewarding to be of such importance on the big day.

also a neddle and thread in case a button breaks on her dress.. or train.. that happend to me.
Lenc

Yes, and you might help with wrangling bridesmaids gone astray and the jitters.
Also -- add bobby pins, small hairspray, pads or tampons (it never fails, someone gets it), also pack a quick snack like trail mix if the wedding is late in the day -- you'd be surprised how everyone forgets to eat and a little nut mix will go a long way.

It's super easy and fun to make a decent-size drawstring bag that she can carry -- makes it a little classier than the grocery bag my personal attendant had for me!!

I think you are right. The two times I have been a personal attendent I've done everything from helping the bride get everything to the church to helping her get dressed to decorating the reception hall to picking up a forgotten birth control prescription at the pharmacy to calming nerves. The only thing I had my personal attendent do was help me bustle my dress before the reception. Your daughter should ask the bride what role she wants her to play. There may be something specific she wants her to do.

I am a minister who has officiated at weddings. I suggest that she get a list of expectations from the bride and groom. She should also stay in contact and update that list regularly.
She can use a tote bag or small duffel bag to carry items, including, sewing kit, zip ties, tissues, hair spray, sunscreen, feminine items, mints, first aid kit, all attendents cell phones during the ceremony, maybe a few extra corsage pins, bobby pins. My daughter got married in an outdoor ceremony about 3 years ago and I not only had water bottles but ice packs in a cooler in my car. If anyone should be overcome with the heat I was ready. It might be a good idea to have some gator-aide and something for an upset stomache and a variety of OTC pain killers.

I have done this duty twice; it is not an easy job. I picked the bride up in the morning and took her to have her hair done. I brought breakfast, juice and champagne to the salon for the bridal party. I helped decorate for the reception for on wedding and I ended up being the "wedding coordinator" at the church for the other one. I delivered the gifts between the bride and groom. I also made sure everyone else in the wedding party had everything the needed. I also pinned the flowers on the groomsmen and male family members, so extra pins would be another thing she might want to have in her emergency kit if the florist does not stay. I also made sure to have snacks and water for wedding party while they waited at the church. It is a big job but a fun one as well.

;

I have been a personal attendant 4 times and this is the list I use for my "bag"
http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/diy-do-it-you...
I found that the chalk is an essential because it will mask anything that gets on a white dress. It's good to have troubleshooting skills as well since any problem will most likely be presented to the personal attendant so that the bride doesn't have to deal with it. I think an attendant holds the most important position in the wedding...be prepared to run around all day ;)

I had a personal attendant for my wedding and this girlfriend was a lifesaver for me! She was probably one of the most important people that day. Your idea for a bag of necessities was right on target. Maybe add lip gloss/chapstick, bobby pins, nail polish if bride or attendents are wearing hose. Also, have the bride pack a small make-up bag with her touch up supplies so that she can reapply lipstick, powder, whatever she might need as the night progresses. My attendent also helped me to go to the bathroom, as my dress and train needed to be lifted up and held - it was much easier that trying to get out of the dress and then back into it! She brought me water, check on me throughout the reception to see if I needed anything and was always available to help me. While I was getting my hair done, my personal attendent pickup up my dress from the bridal shop and brought it to the church for me to get ready. She came with to our photography session before the ceremony to adjust my dress/veil/reapply lipstick, etc... to make sure the pictures looked great. She lined up the attendents before the ceremony and help to make sure that the ceremony started on time, our guests were seated, etc... This is a big job and I'm sure your daughter will do great. Alot of these things my attendent did, I hadn't even thought of, they were the small details, the finishing touches, and the things that pulled it all together! She also coordiated bringing flowers from the ceremony to the reception (she didn't do it, but arranged for some other family to do this, and checked to make sure it was done). I feel like I'm rambling, but make a list of these things and brainstorm others that basically allow the bride to sit back, relax, and enjoy the day without a worry!

I have struggled with anxiety for about 12 years, and, knowing my wedding day would probably not be exempt, I had a personal attendant who was more valuable to me than my bridesmaids. She was basically with me all day, which was wonderful, since I was busy getting nails and hair done, makeup done...and my bridesmaids all were getting ready, too, so they weren't "attending" me the way my personal attendant did. I'm not sure when SHE got herself ready, but she looked stunning! She got me a bottle of wine before the ceremony, so I could settle down just a little. She had some of my panic attack prevention things (gum, mints) on hand during the ceremony. She took photos when I asked her to. She helped me go to the bathroom, since I had a bit poofy skirt. I think she helped with photos, too, and making sure things were set. She learned how to bustle my dress, which was a big job, and helped re-bustle when it fell down. She did not sit at the head table, but in all other ways I very much considered her part of the wedding party. She didn't need to "do" anything in particular (like plan a shower, like your maid of honor is "expected" to do) except be with me, and, since she was very excited for us and very much in recognition of the fact that it was "my" day, she was absolutely invaluable.

she should also expect to be running around a lot the day of the wedding, going to get things or people as needed by the bride. so, wear comfortable shoes, and carry a useful bag to hold the stuff the bride will want her to carry (her lipstick for the day, a camera for casual snapshots, tips for the various vendors, a cell phone to call others.

keeping an eye on the bride to make sure she looks her best, like checking the dress train, but also the veil, makeup, tears, etc. throughout the day.

she may end up coordinating the vendors, too, if the bride doesn't have a wedding coordinator. she may also need to make some last minute decisions if things don't fall into place perfectly (where to put the cake,

i helped my SIL a ton at her wedding during photos by helping the photographer, by running and finding the next group of people to take pictures of. i also managed the list of desired "group shots" so the bride could be assured she'd get all the pictures she wanted.

The only other thing that I can suggest she do is make sure to bring something to eat. The day of the wedding can be very long and the wedding party will most likely not be thinking about eating. The personal attendants at the weddings I have been at have brought little sandwiches. Very inexpensive and pretty clean. Sometimes - that might be the only food that the bride will eat all day as she might not even really eat her dinner.

I've been this twice. IT SUCKS! I will never do it again.... Both brides I did it for expected WAY too much.......

First wedding for a highschool friend:
I picked bride up and brought her and her dress to get hair done. Then brought her to church for pics. Helped set out food (HER PARENTS PROVIDED) and then clean up. Helped her go to the bathroom. Just overall was there to support her. So far, so good. Then came time for the service.

-I was then expected to videotape. After the ceremony I had to clean up the church and hall EVERYTHING (decorations, bows, flowers, candles, etc.) over to reception. Also had to load coolers of leftover food into another car.

-At the reception, my husband, 1 1/2 year old daughter and myself was kicked off the reserved table by some old biddy aunt. EVEN though two tables over was another reserved table that was empty! Then I was told it was my job to cut and serve the cake as well! Then I had to video tape more. The speaches, dance, etc. And then I was expected to help load gifts into a vehicle.

-The next day at gift opening I was told to record presents as they were opened.

I WAS FUMING. The brides mom was rude and snapped at me to do stuff all day long. HATED EVERY MINUTE! My daugher was clingy too because she is used to being with me and spent the better part of the day watching me being chased away from her.......

The second wedding for soon to be sister-in-law (husband's bothers wedding.)

First she said she just wanted me to help her get everything organized and then help a little on the wedding day. Okay.

As it drew closer she asked me what I was bringing for everyone to eat! ME! It was NOT my wedding. There was going to be like 50 people that she expected me to bring food and beverages for! My husband talked to his parents and so they brought most of the food and I just provided a little bit.

At the wedding. I helped her get things ready. Helped her with the little things she wanted.

I had to help with her train right before she went down the aisle (which actually her bridesmaid did it anyway. So I missed my daughter who was flower girl going down the aisle........) So I just ended up standing there and then didn't have a seat in church because it was such a tiny church.

Helped move a few things from the church to cars. At the reception, she just had me do a couple little things here and there. Nothing big. But the whole day really sucked. I didn't get to spend it with my husband and kids because I was sent on crappy little errands.....

AT MY WEDDING, what my friend (personal attendant) did for me:

Day before wedding we went and got pedicures together! FUN!
Then she came over and helped with the organizing table favors for an hour.

Wedding day. She met me at the church after my hair and makeup were done. Helped me into my dress. After the bridal party, parents and her were done eating the food that MY FIANCE AND MYSELF PROVIDED, she helped clean up the kitchen. Right before the ceremony she straightened my dress. Then she was done for the day so she could enjoy the wedding with her boyfriend.

I HIGHLY suggest that you tell your daughter to get a list of things expected of her. That way she can settle anything up front if she feels like she is being taken advantage of.

I personally will never again be a personal attendant. It is the crappiest job ever!