Bridal Party Dilema

One gift per person is all that is necessary and what is customary. More than that is likely to make people uncomfortable.

btw- The favorite groomsman gift we've gotten was a nice pocket knife, engraved with each man's monogram. it is memorable, and still useful.

One gift per person is definately reasonable. I don't think the dollars spent means as much as the thought behind the gift. What about setting a maximum for all the gifts. Then divide it by the number of gifts you have to buy and that will give you an average amount. Then try to find something just under the average so you have a few extra for the MOH and BM.

I think if you are fighting/can't agree over money now, might want to postpone the wedding until you can and during the cooling off period prepare a budget for your married life. Money is one of the big causes for divorce.

Yes, I think $20 is cheap for a bridesmaid gift --- UNLESS that's all you can afford. However, I also think it's up to the bride to decide what she is giving to her addendants and the groom to decide for his.

Blessings....

Compromise and spend 35 each!

Theknot.com has some WONDERFUL gift ideas for male/female all price ranges.http://weddingshop.theknot.com/gifts.aspx

Really, when it comes down to it you should thank them with a nice gift, but it does not have to be a budget buster.

What we have received - Jewlery/accessories for wedding day :), make up kit (I did my girlfriends make up vs stand). Flask/cigarholder combo (very nice included expenisve cigar and jameson wiskey in a leatherholder), Flask with Gentlemen's Jack (personalized), Ummmm, yeah - my man has a HUGE flask collection he is has been in about 10 weddings.

You guys are arguing over $180 each. What is this compared to your entire wedding budget? Worth arguing over?

One nice gift is fine, but I would up your $20 per person budget. It's hard to find anything nice, worth keeping, for $20 these days.

Compromise...1 gift of $35. The compromise will be a wonderful start to the marriage.

I would guess it would really depend on your budget. 15 years ago when I got married we spent around $100-150 on each attendent. We had 5 on each side. We had a huge church wedding and reception at a local hotel. Hubby bought the guys one big thing and I paid for the girls to get their hair done the day of the wedding and also bought some inexpensive costume jewelry to wear to the wedding. For us we could afford it but most of our attendents spent a lot of money just to be with us on our special day. They girls paid for their dresses and alterations and the guys paid for their tux rentals. They also paid there own way to and from the wedding, hotel rooms etc and some of them traveled thousands of miles. For them to agree to be in our wedding and then spend all that money was wonderful on their parts. I guess I just felt I needed to do the same and spend some money on them.

Your not married yet and already fighting over money? That's not a good sign.

I'm frugal and $20 is cheap. These people are participating in an important event in your life. How much are they spending to participate? The dress, the shoes, the nylons, the hair, etc.

When we got married, we bought the women in our wedding party a gold necklace - granted, we only had two bridesmaids and two groomsmen (this was the second for both of us). The men were given gold tie clasps and cuff links. I think they were $100 each. Since we were buying in "bulk" our jeweler gave us a discount.

When my husband was best man in a wedding years ago - each groomsman was given a Lands End travel bag with their names/initials embroidered and toiletry bag - that's been 20+ years and my husband STILL uses them.

Personalized gifts will mean more. At least to me they would.

I'm concerned though that you are already fighting over money. Seriously, not a good sign. If it were my wedding? $50 would be the cheap end. I have friend that does the gifts for large corporations...if you would like, i can find out if he does small events like this. PM me if you are interested.

I, too, think $20 is cheap for thanking them for the time,effort and expense to be in your wedding.
Last wedding I was in (I was the MOH) the bride bought us all Swarovski crystal necklaces and earrings (to wear for the wedding) AND a silver Tiffany bracelet.
I don't think it's the number of gifts that matters but the overall value.
I would start at $50 per person. More if you can.

I 'm a cheap person and $20 seems way low to me, I"d find another place to skimp, Like you said the most obvious way would have been to limit the number of attendants. sorry but your husband to be sounds like a real jerk and it sounds like you two really do need some counseling before you get your self any deeper into this marraige or debt. If he doesn't care about your feeling about money now he isn't magically going to care about your feeligns after the ceremony.

I like the compromise idea. And honestly, most bridal party people are pleased to get a gift. Not everyone does that. I gave my bridesmaids earrings and necklaces to match their dresses, and my husband got the groomsmen engraved business card holders that looked like briefcases.

One per person is plenty, but if you stay within the $35 budget, it doesn't matter - you might find 2 fun things that fit in the budget. If I got a gift, I'd be pleased. If someone's upset because they didn't get a $50 gift as part of the bridal party, they're not a good friend anyway.

It depends on a lot of things, my kids were my wedding party and after buying their dresses and suits there was no way I was getting them a gift. My first wedding I bought the bridesmaids their jewelry nothing more. I don't really consider that cheap cause that jewelry wasn't cheap. Not sure what my ex gave the groomsmen. He did his thing I did mine because the gifts were not dependent on the other.

I think it depends on what you can afford and what you can actually get for the amount you select. Do you have an item in mind that's a killer deal? I wouldn't feel right only spending $20 (or $50 for that matter) for someone who would be in my wedding party, to me that is a huge deal in life.

I would hope it would be something they would use, enjoy and appreciate but that's just me.

Giving one gift per person in more than enough. The two weddings that I have been in the brides maids were given jewelry to match the dress. I don't remember what the guys got, both were 10 to 20 years ago. I would try to compromise with your fiancé and pick a limit between the two amounts that you want to spend.

Unless you are well off, have a home, money in fhe bank and no debt then a thoughtful twenty dollar gift is enough. I bought pair of tasteful earrings that I wanted everyone to wear for the wedding. They were around twenty dollars. The men got a flask engraved with a quote that meant alot to all of us. It was 21.00. Keep in mind that wedding gifts for the party may end up packed in a box or in a landfill so why waste the money. As long as you haven't been demanding or rude as a couple then it is small thanks for being there for you on your day.

I entirely think it depends on your social status. If you are well off then $20 is super crappy and cheap. If you are spending thousands and thousands on your wedding then again, you are being too cheap.

If you are more middle income to lower middle income and you are stretching every dollar you have to just have a presentable wedding then perhaps $20 is a good representation of the wedding.

If your wedding is a less costly wedding such as a chapel or some outdoor event that is inexpensive and you have not spent thousands and thousands on a huge sit down dinner and reception then it is not one that I would expect to hear the bride spent a lot of money on gifts for the bridal party.

So, if you really are on a super tight budget and cannot afford $50 then tell him you'd be glad to let him take care of the cost of the gifts.

This is my opinion.....it's your wedding and it's suppose to be about you and him (bride & groom). It's a very nice gesture when the couple buy's the attendants "a" gift. It shows you remembered them and you were thankful they shared your day. Why not up it to $30 ea. and only one gift. If you want to get the MHonor and Best Man something different or extra, but that's it, be done. I say one gift and same amount for each. Good Luck!

$20 is very cheap. These people are important to you--important enough to be invited to participate in your most important day. They have agreed to take on this special duty and also agreed to take on the expense that comes with it--probably spending hundreds of dollars themselves! Not to mention, they will also get you guys a wedding gift. I think $50 to $75 is a reasonable amount to spend on thank you gifts for your wedding party. I know that is a lot to put out --especially if you've paid for the wedding yourself-- but I think $20 would seem cheap.

Hi,
I know it is hard to pick out brides maids gifts.. But try and go the extra mile on this gift.. Something special and meaningful. Something they would use again. One gift per person.. I know it adds up but these people are going out of their way.
Have u ever heard of bluenile.com. They are a great online jewelry company. They have great reviews. My hubby has bought me pearls and gemstones from their. Wow great value pay less than a mall jewelry store and great quality. Since u mentioned 50 dollars Iclick on the link below. A beautiful necklace or they have earrings too. And they come in a beautiful box sure to make anyone feel special. Here is a link to a 49 dollar necklace.. Also they have grooms gifts too.

http://www.bluenile.com/blue-topaz-silver-necklace_19251
Best of luck :)
L.