Perfect

Do something silly - like pour orange juice in a bowl before his cereal and laugh about your 'mistake'. Put shoes on before his socks and laugh about it. Tll him you're ready to go to the store while in your PJs. 9 might be too old for this, but it can show him that everyone can make mistakes...even moms. :)

Wow. This is my son. He has always been a perfectionist. He was in the TAG program at school and his teacher gave me some great information on the subject. The reason she did so, was because the perfectionism came to be a big issue for him. My hubby and I never push our kids to get all A's or to try to be perfect in any way. We always say we want them to do their best, no matter what the grades say. My oldest's best may be an A, but my 10 year old's may be a B or even C. Anyway, always needing to be perfect is a classic trait of the gifted child. While I cannot tell you that he will "outgrow" it, you may, though, need to do some research on the subject. Go to the library and browse the kids and family section. See what you can find. The info my son's teacher gave me was from some of her own references from the school and her personal library. I'm not even sure some if it exists to the general public. The library/book store should be a great place to start.

You can tell your child he doesn't have to be perfect until you are blue in the face. It's something he will have to work through. Make sure you don't
"accidentally" give the wrong message. For example, if he tells you he got 9 out of 10 right on a quiz, resist the urge to say, "What question did you miss?" Seems like a reasonable question, but to him it may sound like, "Oh, you only care about what I got wrong". At this age, most teachers go over which questions were wrong, anyway, so I'm sure it was addressed. Just little things like that are things I learned. Unfortunately, as he gets older, this perfectionism may spill into other areas of his life (as it did for my son). Now, we are dealing with the pressures he puts on himself in sports, social aspects, as well as education. My son is an over achiever, super athletic, super popular and well-liked, so it seems he is faced with so many different people, coaches, friends and teachers pulling him in all directions. I would encourage you to read up on it so you can help him when he gets so frustrated. Ask the school counselor to give you any info he/she has, too. They should be a great resource.

This is a hard place to be in. You want your child to do good in school, but not at the expense of their well-being! I have actually had to tell my 11 year old to NOT take as much time on projects.....he once spent 16 HOURS on a report/art project! Was it awesome? Yes. However, no 6th grader needs to spend that amount of time on one project. Even his teacher said, more like 4-5 hours was a lot. How do you tell your kid to....not try so hard.....huh??? Crazy, I know. Anyway, there are things you can do to help him. Showing him that learning can come from mistakes - you put the wrong amount of an ingredient in a recipe.....oops. I won't make that mistake again. Or, practicing the art of breathing - sounds kinda weird, but sitting with him and just taking 3 deep breaths before starting a paper can set the mind in a calmer state. Read up and be patient :)
I wish you the best of luck!!

maybe when you catch a mistake say see mommy's not perfect i just made a mistake (and show him what u did or how)?? I think at that age most kids are like that thats how my nephew is but hes very (IM RIGHT YOUR WRONG) lol

Have you thought about having him tested? He could have OCD or Aspbergers. My friend's son has Aspbergers and he is the same way. A lot of times he thinks he's right and won't back down even if he isn't. But mostly if it isn't perfect he gets fustrated and pitches a fit. Hope this helps some. Good luck and God Bless.

Tell him the most important thing is effort NOT success. then make sure you praise effort and risk taking ! if he shows you a math paper say wow did you work hard on that? Do not praise more for a good grade, then a low grade, ask him if it was hard, easy, just right challenging, whenever he tells you work was easy say sadly "Oh I'm sorry you werent challenged" again not praising his success. If he says it was a little challenging respond cheerfully "oooh I bet you learned a lot working on that." If it acts like it was too difficult be very happy "wow I'm so proud that you worked hard on that!" You'll learn how he feels about the work, does he feel everything is hard? Praise him for how much he got done if it wasn't finished. Praise him for asking good questions and taking risks, answering questions he's not sure of the answer, but pay no attention to how many answers are correct. Ask the teacher to encourage him to ask more questions also praise him for volunteering in class and ignore the finishing work for a few weeks. Maybe you can read some books about children who are perfectionists. There are some articles about over praising kids making them afraid to fail is it possible he's been told how bright he is and feels he has to measure up to this?

Take a step back and look at the bigger picture.....Other than a new teacher has anything in his routine/environment changed? Is there someone else influential in his life that may be pressuring him? Do you overeact at home if he makes a mistake? Ask him why he feels the need to be perfect. See where the conversation leads.