I'm not going to tell you what you have done is wrong, but I think that you probably realized it after you read what you wrote. My daughter is 3, and she will wet her pants when she wants to act out and get some attention. Fortunately I have three children ages 3,3,20 mths., unfortunately there are times that one child will get more attention than the other two. (One is sick, or has been hurt, or just needs a little extra attention that day.) I will sit with her and talk about it, and let her know that she is a big girl, and that big girls don't potty their pants. I agree with the fact that she is acting out, for whatever reason, but I would spend some time with her and talk to her about it. Don't reward her every time she goes to the potty, but maybe at the end of the day. I would try this before going to the extremes. I hope this helps a little.