Does anyone have any quality ideas for the special event of your child turning 18? The only problem is, he doesn't like anything cutesy and fun, and is not really into having a big family thing. He's very into his friends and his work, and yet I want to really do something special to make his adulthood and let him know how much I love him. Of course, I don't want to spend a fortune as well. Thanks in advance!
M.
I was so happy to read all of your ideas, moms. Thank you for caring! The best thing about reading what you all thought was not just the actual party ideas, but getting perspective on how best to deal with my son's dislike for parties - respecting his wishes and talking to him, etc. That meant a lot to me, and you're all right. His dad and I decided to do the limo idea for our family personally, and then let him do his own thing with his friends because that's how he feels (keep it seperate!). I did like the sky diving idea though - but the website says not for people with any back problems, so that leaves him out! Maybe for my other son though!!
Maybe you could take him and his friends to some sort of sporting event that he is into. Like a football game or basketball game??? It is a way to have his friends included - but it is still kind of adult and cool. Though if you go with a professional team - it could be expensive...
Just a thought
G.
Hi M.,
Well, I'm sort of recycling an answer I gave another person asking for birthday ideas, but I think it might work in your situation as well. It's along the same lines as the person who suggested the beach bbq. You could have an outdoor movie night at your house. Start with a bbq so people can arrive and mingle and then when it gets dark, start the movie. You can rent a projector and project onto a wall or a sheet. Set out beach chairs, grass mats, bean bags, blankets and pillows and tell everyone to dress warmly in layers (BYOP&B - Bring your own pillow and blanket). For the adults over 21, you can set out wine or margaritas, or... Perhaps pick a funny coming of age movie (but one that won't be embarrassing to watch with your parents and other family members) ;)
Have fun, and please let us know what you end up doing.
Go kart racing, modern bowling places, fishing with his friends, amusement parks, as you can see I live somewhere warm.
Concert tix with some friends may be the most fun and a small family party. Have you asked him? Often they are not sure either. These are tough.
My daughter wanted a party with friends and a fire pit
for them to gather around. just a few ideas.
Happy birthday!! Deb
I dont know where you live but im in the inland empire in southern ca. we have a go cart track called k-1 racing. it is really cool you can race against your friends and the top 3 racers get medals and their pic taken. it goes up to 45 miles per hour so for adults, not kiddie at all
I remember being that age... and yes, at that age and like your son prefers... a "party" is not really wished for, nor a big "family" thing. Ugh, is the word at this age.
Perhaps, instead, you can just do something private, and just only your family. Besides high school graduation/party (which is a milestone and a rite of passage anyway), this is usually where the "child" is celebrated for becoming an "adult."
I would say, that if your son REALLY prefers "not" to have a big-deal party, then respect his wishes. At this age, NO child likes cutesy-fun parties. For me, when I was that age... a "party" even if for myself, was just kind of unbearable and more of an "appointment" than "fun." I much preferred to be just with my few best friends, and have a private fun time together that way.
Does his other friends have parties like this, for turning 18??? Is this something that his circle of friends does? Maybe that is something you could think about as well. If this is not the "norm" for his friends or his circle of peers...then maybe he might feel "odd" if his Mom does this sort of party for him, and him being 18 and not a "kiddie." Then again.. .is your son the type that "likes" attention, or not?
The thing is, you CAN "celebrate" his turning 18... but it does not have to be a "party" and publicly celebrating it. It can just be, instead, something low-key, between the both of you, or with Hubby and his siblings... or, just something private. After-all, if he does not want a party.... and you make one, then the party would not be "for" him, right?
Why don't you just get him a real special gift/memento...something that is truly meaningful and that he will treasure forever.... instead?
I would go according to your son... and what he wants. After-all, he is the "adult" now, right? And to me, he doesn't seem to really "want" a public big celebration anyway, nor anything that is a big deal.
If my Mom made me a big deal party, after my explaining that I didn't want one, and being 18... well, I would feel mixed feelings about it. It's best to talk to him.... and then respect and listen to what HIS wishes are... perhaps, HE would like to celebrate the occasion in another way.... it's HIS special time anyway, and he already seems quite mature and independent...having his own work and work friends and friends.
All the best,
Susan
M.,
My son turned 18 two years ago. He felt the same way as your regarding a big TO-DO type party. I'm a young mother and I felt the same as you...it's a big deal and he's my first of my two children and I wanted to celebrate and show my love. I think what I did worked out great. His birthday is May 30 and we live in the LA area, so I invited his girlfriend, his close friends and my close friends and we had a barbeque at the beach. His buddies ended up playing football, horseshoes and volleyball. Me and my friends had some cocktails and laid out. We brought a stereo and it was just a good day with good friends at the beach.
My son and his friends ended up having a great time, probably because we adults were there but it wasn't like we were hanging out waiting for him to cut the cake or sing to him.. It was about him, but at the same time, it was a good day at the beach - worked for all ages (including my little one)..
By the way, he did say he didn't want a party or a big deal... I managed to pull this off as a surprise. I had him and his cousins (visiting from out of town) meet us at the beach where we all (including his girlfriend and buddies)were already there and set up. He really appreciated it and had fun..
Sometimes mothers really do know best. But then again, I know my sons very well as I'm sure you do... So I say use your judgment for your son. I went with this because it was a party to celebrate him - yet kind of just a fun day at the beach that I knew he'd enjoy.
Since I did not spend a huge amount of money on this party and I since I knew I would have if he preferred it for this milestone... I gave him a good amount of money, which I felt I saved from having a Beach BBQ. With that money I gave him a card and said he could use it as he wishes, but my motherly advise was to invest it, save it or use it for a 18 yr old, HS graduation summer trip. He ended up using it for a new car stereo.
All in all, I think we were both happy with my plan..
I didn't read all of the responses so sorry if I duplicate.
Indoor skydiving would be a great thing for he and his friends to do. There is a place in Perris that does this and video tapes it for you. Not sure if there is a place closer to MV.
Gliders: A bit of a drive, in Warner Springs, down the 79, about a 1/2 hour, 45 minutes from Temecula, there are sail planes. Gliders are towed up by airplanes and then you drift down on the air currents. You can go solo, with a friend or instructor. This is a lot of fun.
Both of these are different and memorable.
M.,
When our kids were their age, we took them bowling. They served pizza, hamburgers, and a few other things. Some bowling places allow you to have food catered in to the pizza place. We also requested to be put in a non-smoking section. Actually, I don't even know if they allow smoking anymore. Anyway, I hope this helps. Take Care!
Lily,
Invite all his friends, maybe try to keep it a secret surprise (they will bring the right gifts). Have a lot of food and a really special cake, you know how they can put a photograph on the cake, think of something cool to make the photo, maybe something to do with his work. Sing happy birthday and then make yourself scarce. I would stay in the house, but maybe watching TV in the bedroom most of the time; let him know that you are turning it over to him.
I don't know if your son has a favorite band maybe, but I remember when I was 18 my friend's mom did the greatest thing...she took us to a concert, her daughter's first ever! It was such a cool birthday. She was allowed to invite 2 friends (one of them was ME...lucky!!)But our parents paid for the tickets. (You'd have to check with some friends' parents to see if they'd go for it I guess)The mom covered driving, chaperoning of course and dinner (pizza hut or something not too pricey) beforehand. If your son is not into music, maybe a hockey game or even a play if he's into that stuff? That's all I could think of off the top of my head.
What if you did like a poker party? I know he is only turning 18 and not 21, but it could be more grown up and him and his buddies would surely have a blast!
How about renting a limo for him and his closest friends? I did that for my daughter on her 16th birthday and she has never forgotten it. It was one hour of feeling grown up and special and going through McDonald's drive thru in a limo was quite unforgettable!
M. Dixon
Hi M.,
My son is turning 18 in about 7 months... so reading these responses are awesome! I Like the beach BBQ idea, I'd might go one step further and go on a weekend camping trip. Have him invite some of his friends, bring their bicycles, surfboards or whatever he's into. I'd love to hear what you decided to do... if you get a chance, let me know!
Have a great 18th birthday - whatever you decide to do.
Goodluck,
C.
M. ~ You could make him a nice dinner at home. Ask him if he would like friends over. This is what I did for both of my daughters when they turned 18. I made dinner of their choice. They were allowed to have friends to the dinner. One invited two friends for her birthday and the other invited 6. We ate here at the house and I gave them each a necklace. You could give your son a nice watch to mark his special day. Or you could send him and two of his friends to Magic Mountain, Knotts or something like that depending on where you live and forego the dinner. Tell him you, as his mother, would like to make this birthday a memorable one and ask him how he would like it to be done. Give him a few choices and ask if he likes them and if not to please provide you with an alternative.
Best of luck.
L.
You could always take him and a friend or 2 to flay away. It's a little pricey, but a lot of fun. Plus, it's masculine and not like a party, but still an activity you can do together.
I'd say, ask him what he'd like.
I would not do a party at all. I would invite him to lunch a few days before his birthday and give him whatever amount of money you feel is appropriate for a birthday in a card. Just a special lunch between the two of you. That is meaningful. Best of luck.
Well my son is turning 17 this month. Iam having a b-day party for him at hooter's he has been asking for a while to go see what its all about. So I am taking him and 3 of his friends to dinner.
My oldest son always shared a party with his best friend and for their 18th, they rented a "Moonbounce" and had a blast! My second son just had a special dinner with us and parties with friends.
Hi M., At that age I would just talk to him and tell him how you're feeling- that you'd like to do something special for him, but recognize as a young adult that it's up to him.
He may just want to hang with his friends- but would like a family dinner either before or after the actual birthday. I would honor his wishes.
Personally I think some families are excessive ( like cars, expensive trips...etc).
