Parents Hanging Around at Birthday Parties

I have truly never been to any birthday party where the parents didn't stay. It's not anyone else's job to supervise my kids.

It depends. Some hosts want you to stay and others want you to drop off. Honestly, just ask the host her preference. If she leaves it up to you, do whatever you want and don't feel guilty either way.

At that age, I used to stick around...my son has food allegies....and most of his friends' parennts would also hang around usually from k to 2nd grade....

Some moms drop off.

Some moms stay and don't talk to anyone. They just hole up in some corner on their phone or reading a book.

Some moms stay and talk to other moms or make new mom friends and party with the kids and have a ball.

I stay for parties where I know at least one mom and we spend that time catching up with each other or goofing off ourselves with the kids. I always like watching the kids open their presents (to get gift ideas for the next party) and see the look on their faces when they get something they really like. When I stay I always end up helping to some degree - passing out cake, help corral the kids for the games/activities, picking up after the kids. Its all worth it esp if they are serving ice cream cake and they give you a piece!

I think it depends on the venue. A pool party, or a party at some bouncy-house place? We would stay to supervise our child because there are usually not enough eyes to go around and there are usually kids everywhere. Just a 'play in the backyard' sort of party or something at someone's home? I'd feel more comfortable dropping off.

In our area, the turning 6 parties were 100% drop off.

When you RSVP, just ask what the host prefers. Depending on the venue, the host may welcome and extra set of eyes and hands or may prefer to have fewer people there, particularly if it's in a crowded place like their home. My youngest is also in 1st grade and I'd say that abou 25% of parents stay at parties where the host really has no preference. The rest use the time to run errands or get a cup of coffee in peace. It also depends on your child's comfort level - one of my kids would not have gone to a party at that age unless I stayed while the other three have more of a "why are you here?" attitude. What ever you, your child and host are most comfortable with is fine. If you do stay, it will be a nice chance for you to get to know some of the other parents.

When I don't know the parents or if my child wants me to, I stay. My kids are older now and I know all their friends' families, so now I usually don't, but at that age, I almost always stayed. I offer to help if it seems needed and I evaluate what choices other parents are making about staying. I've read posts on this board from moms who don't like when parents stay, but I've personally never had any problem with moms staying at my parties and no one has ever seemed bent out of shape by my staying. I don't eat anything, I don't monopolize the attention of the host, I help when appropriate, but my kid has a lot of social anxiety, so if she wants me to stay, I stay. Most parents I know stay if their kid is only 6, but maybe that's the culture where I am.

I would be prepared to stay and just ask the hostess when you get there.

If you do stay, you can mix, mingle and meet some of your child's friends and parents and possibly make some friends as well!

If the hostess suggest a drop off, I'd drop off. Observe what the other parents are doing.

ask the parents if they need help with anything, and go from there. That would be an excellent opportunity for you to meet some new friends in your new town. Good luck!

Maybe it's my age, I'm older than most of y'all, but I'd stay, I don't expect others to supervise my child. Plus I've seen way too many accidents at parties, I have a granddaughter who ALWAYS accidentally gets hurt at her little brother's parties :-/ I offer to help, and use the time to get to know other parents.

I would expect it to be a drop off at that age but I do agree that you should go in and introduce yourself to the parents before hand. It might be a little hectic so you may only see one of them or just for a minute, but maybe at pick-up you can chat for a minute.

I think pick up would be a more conducive time to chat up some other parents, etc. Maybe even set up a summer play date with someone you see your child talking to on the way out!

Might be a nice opportunity for you to meet a few moms I'd his friends. If kind if lurk for a few minutes and see what other parents are doing. At 6, it could go either way.

I would just have your schedule clear and go to the party with him...look around and see if other moms are staying. Have a conversation with the party mom and see if she would like you to stay...offer to assist. Be an opportunity for you to meet some of the other moms since you are new to the town. If you are the only mom staying and the party mom doesn't seem like she wants to entertain you...then go ahead and leave and come back.

Drop off and leave. Birthday Mom does not need extra people hanging around. It also gives your son some independence!!!! Wow in the old days four year olds were dropped off. Everyone survived. I do not remember any child crying for Mommy. I think we were much more relaxed then and so were our kids. They just went with the flow, were much more flexible then kids today. It also seems many parents are "afraid" to leave them. Not sure why.

Guess I am different lol in first grade I would drop him off. Go to the door say hi ask if you should stay or go but I myself didn't like a lot of parents hanging around the party. If I had games and a kid was being a pain in the butt it is hard to say stop it if mommy is standing there. if it is at a venue then definitly drop off. make sure the party mom knows he is there and then come back at the designated time and make sure the mom knows your taking him.

Swim:

What does the invitation say? Does it say DROP OFF AND PICK UP? If so - then they expect you to drop him off and come back and pick him up.

I would call the parent who is hosting the party and ask her preference.

Usually at age six, you can drop off and pick up.

Have fun!

Ask the host parent which s/he would prefer.

Around here, once the kids start elementary school, the parents rarely stay, unless they are specifically invited.
I would just ask when you rsvp, is this a drop off party or would you like me to stay? That gives the host a chance to let you know exactly what his/her preference is.
I'm glad I don't live where Gamma G lives, it's enough work managing the children without having to worry about entertaining a bunch of adults I barely know.

Depends on the party. Last year when DS was 6, parents were just starting to drop the kids off. It depended on the venue as well. Because DS attended a Montessori, there were kids from a bit away and if the party venue was 30 minutes away, I would often stay - as would many parents. By the time I would get home, it would be time to turn around and come back. DS is now 7 (first grade) and we are attending a pool party today - I will be staying. I think it would be overwhelming and rather unsafe to expect 1 pair of parents to both supervise a bunch of kids in a pool and run a party. I have a pool party for DS every summer and expect parents to stay.

If the invitation states 'this is a drop off event', then you can drop and go or stay. If it doesn't stay, ask the hostess.

Depending on the event, and how well your child knows the family, are all factors.

I think it goes either way at this age. A couple months before my daughters 6th birthday we had a "pajama play date" with the 5 kindergarten girls from her k-1 class at our house. Only one mom stayed and it turned out to be very helpful! We had a birthday party for her 6th birthday last month, and it was about 1/2 and 1/2 for who dropped off and who stayed. I think more of the kinder parents stayed and more of the 1st grade parents dropped. The ones that did stay seemed to enjoy hanging out with the other parents. That was at a Little Gym facility where there we're structured activities and very little room for a kid to wander off or get lost in a bathroom or something.
So far I haven't dropped my daughter off at any parties but I think I'm one of the parents who enjoys the social hour for myself as well....

I have always dropped off. When I host a party I am prepared to supervise all of the children in attendance. I personally wouldn't dream of making the parents of my guests help supervise the party, and would find it quite awkward and distracting if parents were to hang around. When you RSVP you could ask "Will I be dropping him off, or do you need me to stay and help."

I usually ask the parents if it's a drop off party or not.

I think it depends on the child and the party. If it's a swim party then yes I would stay. Also, if your child is one who needs some security of you being around, you could stay for a little bit of time until he's comfortable and then leave.

Ask the host. Just say, do you like parents to stay for the party? They'll probably say, you are welcome to stay if you like, or you can drop off and come back later.

For 1st graders I would go and hang out for a while and only leave if you and your child feel comfortable. For my son's 1st grade party about 5 parents out of 15 kids. We expected to have several parents stay and visit, play and watch.

If you don't know the family well, since you are new to town, I'd go, but come in for a few. Introduce myself, ask if they need any help (small talk) then if I felt comfortable leaving: leave.

If this were a group of people that your son had been going to school with for a while, drop off and leave would be the norm.

With MY child I stick around. I do so because he has ADHD and SPD that comes with its share of behaivoral problems. Typically he is good at parties, a little rough but most of the guests are classmates that know him and accept that about him. I like to stay to catch problems before or as they start to help him have reminders - party enviroments tend to be lacking structure and order and that is his "trigger" for undesireable actions. Am I going to stop him from going to parties? No, I am going to continue to attend, teach and guide. Many parents have said they have learned from watching me interact with my son and have used a technique they picked up from me and it worked very well. Glad I can give parents other ideas too!

Okay to stop the rambling, I suggest you talk to the host(ess) and discuss this very topic. If your child is one that would need the extra supervision then say so, if your child is fine being dropped off then say so. I personally would not want too many unsupervised children at a party in my son's age range based on having to host and reign in my own child. Plus, unless you have other children to tend to at home it may be a good opportunity to meet n greet with other parents in the new town.

I think it can go either way. A lot of it is going to be up to you, your child and the venue. In 1st grade I usually stayed at parties b/c my daughter really wasn't comfortable with being dropped off. If the host could use an extra set of hands, I would help out. Otherwise I would try to stay out of the way of the party (e.g. sit at a table off to the side) but be there if my daughter needed me. I like the idea of clearing your schedule and being available if you need/want to stay. If a party is at a house, it is a little bit more awkward to hang around if the host parent is expecting drop offs, but you can always talk to the host and see what he/she expects. Good luck!

Ask. If they have enough parents, they may say it's fine to drop off. By 6, it's often just a drop off, but you can ask.

I never wanted parents to stay. If I wanted, then I would have asked. When my son turned 18, we gave him a surprise party. One parent from the baseball team said she was coming. I told her that there would be too many parents--THIS MOM NEVER TALKED TO ME. She stayed home and so did her son.... Oops.

Just ask. If you are concerned because you are uncomfortable due to not knowing the other families and being new in town, then just say so. I wouldn't be offended by that! I would completely understand. And it could open doors to new friendships for you as well.

If you do stay for a bit, and find yourself comfortable with leaving, you can do that, too... (just be sure to tell your child, lol).

I always played that stuff by ear unless I absolutely knew the family very very well, and also depending upon the venue. A public pool with 100 kids in the water, including some not part of the party group? Um... I think I'm staying to watch my kid. A backyard party, in a fenced yard, with 2 or 3 adults and 10-12 kids and the parents seem responsible and aren't drinking alcohol? Sure... be back in 2 hours.

I actually went to one expecting it to be a backyard party, to find it was more of a block party and half the neighborhood was there and the kids were running rampant across 2 or 3 yards and there was not "A" person in charge or acting responsible for any of the kids... It was a "you're on your own" kinda thing... the kids were 5 years old.
I don't give a rat's a$$ what you think I SHOULD do, if my kid is here, so am I.

Just play it by ear, and ask the host mom... You'll be fine.

The most polite thing to do is "be able" to stay if you are unsure and don't want to ask (you could just ask if it's a drop-off).

I never assume I can just bolt. But one of my kids is still three so....for 6-year-olds you can probably leave, but again, ask, and/or ask if you can stay and help with anything and they'll probably tell you. Most of the parties we have been to have been with people we know pretty well, so it seemed odd to leave. But if it's a huge party with plenty of adults handling it who are mainly strangers....you can leave. It's just rude not to ask if it's OK to leave Jr. first imo.

At elementary age, I was happy to drop the kids off. I'd look around and see if most of the other parents are staying. Unless everyone/most parents are staying, I think it's fine to take off if your son is comfortable with it.

In our experience for young children's parties, the adult parent/s always stay. At your son's age, I think many parents know each other by now and will state on the invite, if you are welcomed to drop off and pick up later. If the invite does not state the preference of the host, I would ask. At our parties we include on the invitation that siblings are always welcome. If the party is at a play gym/ park/ Chuck E. Cheese's then, we just send our daughter and one parent/adult.

At that age, I would always walk my child into the house, talk to the parents and ask if they wanted me to hang around or is it okay if I just come back in such-and-such time. Maybe the mom would be glad to have an extra pair of hands; you never know unless you ask.

When I threw parties, I always had my husband help so that the parents could go and enjoy an hour or two of quiet time just for themselves!!

Also, something to think about: is your child comfortable with you leaving? When my son was in pre-school, I actually stayed at a party once because he wasn't quite comfortable yet staying without me.

Good luck!!

It's different with every party at that age. Ask the parents "Is this a drop off party, or would you prefer I stick around?"

I think this depends on whom the party is for and where the venue is and how well you know them. For us, all the birthday parties we attend are family friends and they involve ALL members of the family (aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, etc). So us NOT staying would be kind of rude. We have yet to attend any of our daughter's friends birthday parties from school due to other conflicts on weekends, but because I do not know the parents of these kids, I woult not be okay with just dropping my daughter off (she will be 6 in two months). In general around HERE, all members of the family attend the party...but that could be a regional or just local thing (as in our local group of friends).

Here's my take on it... call the mom and say exactly what you have said here. My son just turned 5 and went to a bowling party a few weeks ago. My husband stayed because it was not well chaperoned and he just wasn't comfortable. He actually helped all of the kids bowl and keep track of whose turn it was while the party parents sat and putzed on their phones. Awesome. His intention was to get my son settled and then head out if it seemed under control. It wasn't, so he stayed.

I would ask the mom and see what she says. By first grade, as long as it is supervised, I don't see a need for parents to stay. Parents seem to stay now and I honestly don't like it (and neither does my son)!