Over-reaction W/daycare?

I would have pulled him too- there is clearly a real lack of skill on the teacher's part!

You are being a "mama bear" which is exactly who you SHOULD be- 4 times in 6 weeks? Not okay! Teacher yelling? Not okay! Teacher physically restraining a child? Time to call in a complaint to the State b/c they cannot do so without written consent from the parent.

He was in an usafe environment and I (also an educator) would have done exactly the same thing.

definitely pull him out. if they are not embarrassed or ashamed by what they LET people see, can you imagine what goes on when someone is not looking?

I think you did the right thing. Especially when the hubby saw it. Most times we mamas are more.....sensitive to this stuff. Men, not so much.

I would also report it to the state agency.

I usually think there's a whole lot of overreacting going on but in this case, I gotta say, there are some real red flags! It sounds like there is no discipline or structure. Seven kids in time out?? A teacher yelling???? I agree, 4 bites in 6 weeks is over the top.

Frankly, I would report this situation to your state's Office for Children or whatever it's called - the agency that inspects and licenses day care centers and preschools. They need to investigate. Something's really wrong there. Report your findings in a matter-of-fact way - you'll feel better.

While reading this I thought oh this momma needs to find something else, and pray for the children who still have to attend. Childcare and preschool teachers/providers are helpers in our childrens development period end of story. If you would not treat your child like what you saw, then great job momma for pulling your child out.

Follow your intuition and you will never have to look over your shoulder and wonder. YOU know what's right for your child!!!! Good for you.

You don't need justification from us......you followed your maternal instinct and did the right thing. For sure. Especially once your husband witnessed the chaos and unacceptable classroom management. I don't even have a toddler, my daughter is 7 weeks old and I would do the same thing in the same situation.

Rock on for being a good MOM!!

Just given what you have said here and not knowing any other side to the story, it does not sound to me like you overreacted at all. You sound like a very rational mom, and it sounds as if you "weighed" things out in your head before doing anything. Additionally, your hubby was the one who went there and was shocked and complained. This, in my opinion, strengthens your "argument" - especially since he thought you may have been going a little too far in the beginning.

Don't let your mother's reaction get to you. She wasn't there to see anything, and it is your child. Do what you feel is best. I would have done the exact thing you and your hubby have done. You know you made the right choice - stop second guessing yourself. In the end, your child will most likely be happier.

Best wishes

I'd be looking for a new daycare.

You did not overreact. A leg lock? Geez. It sounds like they have no control. Since you didn't pull him out the first incident, looks like you waited for improvement.

From reading your previous post regarding this situation, I'd have to say you did the right thing.

From my perspective (preschool teacher, longtime nanny) this class environment sounds unacceptable. This isn't a question of 'adjustment time' for the teacher, this is an issue of her lack of classroom management skills. Adjustment certainly takes time, that's a given, but this is a much larger problem. You made a sound decision for your son and it was good of you not to wait.

Long ago I worked at a center which had a great infant/toddler program, but the preschool program was a mess. Our new director was hiring terrible people, despite warnings from longtime staff that these new teachers had some big red flags waving over their heads. Several of the parents in my older toddler group saw the writing on the wall (They passed a classroom like yours for the 2.5-3's) and pulled their kids out. I supported their decisions, and I do support yours.

Good call, mom!

Absolutely you were right! Your gut was telling you it wasn't right all along. Being a teacher actually gives you more perspective.

In my book you did the right thing!

p.s. Isn't interesting how a man is less likely to discount his own feelings and have no qualms in reacting? Why!? Brain wiring or training???

I would have done exactly what you did. It sounds like these kids in the daycare need more attention. He would have picked up bad behaviors from those other kids jumping on the furniture and such.

I just have to say you handled this alot better then I would have. My daughter is my world and I hate that I am about to have to put her in daycare. I have been searching and cant find one I am comfortable with. When it comes to your kid and there well bing there is no such thing as overreacting. If your child is not being taken care of and lack of concern has been showed get your child out and find a better place.

You did not overreact. I am glad for your sakes and for your child's that you took him out of there.

I would go so far as to say that you might want to contact the Jobs & Family Services department of your county/state (or whatever agency licensed childcare in your county/state) and report the issues.

It does sound like perhaps the particular teacher of this classroom is the center of the problem, but it could be they just have too many kids for her to handle (and/or she's handling it poorly or whatever). But still, you should bring this to the attention of the licensing authorities, since you've already voiced concerns to the staff and no changes or improvements have been made. It sounds like an accident waiting to happen.....

I work in child care settings monitoring quality. You were right to withdraw your child. If you have addressed concerns and there was nothing done, you had no responsible choice but to make certain your child is treated as you deem appropriate. There may just be an overwhelmed teacher issue, but that doesn't mean you can stand by and hope for the best. Trust your instincts, especially since your husband (a second opinion) had great concerns, too.

Sounds like you did the right thing to me. I prefer smaller settings for young children. They get more one on one and will have to go school with a larger group soon enough. Waiting until they are five or six is just fine.

We all have to do what we feel is best for our children.

Blessings....

I think you were absolutely right to pull him out. The center sounds like they are severely understaffed if that can't keep control of the children, and really, this is what happens when you put a bunch of toddlers together without adequate adult supervision. Chaos. I would've pulled my child out after BITE NUMBER ONE.

I mean, seriously, you think it's okay to let your child get bitten four times because supposedly children bite? MY children don't bite.

You did the right thing, that just sounds crazy! It seems like the teacher/child ratio is too high, shouldn't it be at least 6 to 1 at that age. I would look into that just for the sake of the other kids there.

No you didn't I would have done the same thing. One of the most common pieces of advice I received when pregnant was 'trust your instincts'...and act. You did. Good for you

Well done! He should not have been bitten at all, and certainly not more than once. Sounds like they don't have any rules there or at least don't explain them. That teacher should not be with young children. You don't want your son picking up all those behaviors either, tha'ts deplorable!

Good for you! I would have taken him out given the biting incidents alone. No you did not overreact and a teacher shouldn't let a class of three year olds get so out of control and yelling at them on top of that! I don't think so. Your son needs to be in a better environment emotionally, developmentally, spiritually and physically period. You are a teacher and you know what's up! Your mom may not understand all the issues involved but she should understand that it isn't "safe" for him.

There comes a point where if you don't like what you see, you act on it. I think that occasional biting happens (my DD bit someone once) but it shouldn't be frequent. If one child is always the victim, they should find out why. If 7 kids are in time out AND the teacher is struggling with another child, then what does that say about the classroom? I understand that sometimes the mob can try to take over but everything you described adds up. You didn't say what the teachers/director told you, but if you already talked to them, and nothing changed, then I say move on. You had options.

Is your mom the "go along to get along" type? Maybe that's why she didn't think it was so bad.

Wow, what is going on with your mom?

You did the right thing imho.

Absolutely not! There is a level of craziness that goes with any amount of kids that age, but it sounds like they were having a hard time controling the ones they had there.

If both of you had the same reaction, I think you did the right thing. Good thing you have a back up and i hope everything calms down a little bit!!

I have not read all the responses so I apologize for a repeat, but did you report them to the dept of child services? It sounds like this center could use an update on their practices and policies. Maybe a surprise inspection would give them some insight as to what areas need improvement.

You totally did the right thing. I have heard horror stories of what goes on at daycares in my area when the parents are not around (kids tied to seats, arms twisted and broken) This facility shows all the signs of being that kind of shop. I can't even imagine how stressful this has been on your child. Please do all that you can to reassure him that he is safe finally. And I would suggest doing the sneak visit-stop by randomly and unannounced and see what is going on. Do this 3 times and take the average rating that you would give. If you are not happy then switch.
And I would seriously pounce on anyone that critiqued my decision if I were you. No question that you are right here. I would personally be also telling everyone I knew about this chaotic center and to avoid it at all costs.

I think you did the right thing.

you did the right thing that sounds like total chaos and not a really great environment for kids. good luck with the new school

I just realized you're in San Antonio. What is the name of the daycare? I don't have kids in daycare but I have a lot of friends who have kids in daycare I want to make sure that they're safe!

With that being said, you absolutely did the right thing! If you're mom has an issue with it, then that's her problem. You are your child's advocate and given this set of circumstances I feel you acted appropriately!

I am pretty easy going about most kid related sutff. But I will say that I have never seen such a thing at my kids preschool. My daughter absolutely loves her preschool because the teachers are awesome and they know how to handle the kids so they are for the most part behaved. 7 kids in time-out at the same time - those teachers obviously have no idea what they are doing. Good thing you pulled him out, he will likely have a much better experience somewhere else and learn appropriate behavior.

You can contact the Texas Hotline and report the complaint without being revealed as the source of the complaint if you prefer. This would at least get someone looking into the school and the issues of this classroom. Please stand up for the other children in this class, no one should be in a class with these problems. If the staff at the center will not fix the problem then someone else needs to get involved to resolve the problem and protect the children in care.

1-800-252-5400 or https://www.txabusehotline.org

You absolutely did not over react. I pulled my son out of a day care because of a very similar situation. You followed your mothers intuition. And we must advocate for our children because no one else will. Pay no attention to what others say. You made the right decision and your son is going to be happier because of it!

Uh no, you didn't over-react. You did the right thing. It's not your fault nor your son's that the people in charge of the daycare refuse to take control of the situation. I find it hilarious that the others would think you're crazy for pulling him from the daycare. It's so obvious that those are the ones letting their kids run pell-mell & create chaos w/o any discipline & I wouldn't want MY child in that situation either!! Cudos & best wishes & keep your stand on this, don't let anyone think you're crazy just b/c you care about the well being of your child.

I am a teacher and I am with you 100%. That is pitiful! Always go with your gut feelings. It's something about a mother. It's like we have a built-in radar.

Nope, in my opinion you didn't go far enough! I probably would have thrown a fit after the 2nd time he was bitten. As a former daycare worker I can assure you that the teacher is completely inadequate and the director should be ashamed of herself. I would suggest to even send a complaint to the state!!

Day cares and preschools vary greatly. Teachers within each school vary greatly. Sometimes they have good chemistry with your child and sometimes they don't. YOU know your child best. YOU need to be the one comfortable with where your child is. Your husband now concurs with you. I think you made the decision that was right for your family. He will be fine in an in-home care for now. 3-year-old preschool isn't required.

Never, never feel crazy for being your child's advocate! I would have been extremely irrate and you are not overreacting. If that is how they act when a parent is watching, imagine what is going on when no one is watching! I would take it a couple more steps further and report them and post online reviews. That kind of treatment for little people that can't defend themselves or tell anyone about it is abhorable!

Absolutely the right thing!!!! They obviously have issues going on at that place. In no way should there be that kind of behavior, yelling at kids, leg lock? That is abusive in my opinion! I would report them, you don't have to give your name, but just tell them what happened and what you saw. How many other parents don't know what is going on! Terrible to hear this kind of behavior from care givers, but let's face it, some aren't the smartest in the bunch unfortunately and they SHOULD NOT be in the child care field. Good for you for pulling them out! This makes me so mad to see kids treated like this and for an adult to have no self control to be a teacher--arg!

Oh my goodness! NO, you didn't over-react. You did what was right for your child and every child there! That place shouldn't be in buisness. There is no reason for so many children to be in time-out, a yelling teacher and holding a child in a leg-lock! They obviously don't know how to handle children. You are very smart to have taken your child out immediately. Hopefully the next day care you choose will be reputable.

M

If this was the first instance, I would say you over-reacted but it isn't. You have been having concerns, your son was having problems, and you made the right decision.

I realize this is a little late, but just so my vote can be counted (lol) - NO, you did not over react!! This is completely out of line!

As a former pre-k teacher, I can absolutely say- No. You did not over react. I would call licensing on them as well. It is obviously not a safe and caring environment for children to be in.
There is no excuse for a teacher to let her class get out of hand like that.
You did the right thing!

You did the right thing. Have you reported this to the local governing body that watches over day cares? They should know.

No, you are not over reacting....and must tell you to make a formal complaint with the state. Tell the director of the daycare and do it. The sad fact is that some of the parents of the kids may not have a choice but leave their kids in an unsafe environment. Good for you for being so shocked.....make a big deal out of it. Those kids deserve better!!!

Never be afraid to be an advocate for kids.

Good luck,
DH

you did not like how the dc was handeling the daily situation of the class. your dh did not either. if you both were unsatisfied for anyreason then i think yall made the correct choice! - i would have done the same thing.

I don't think you over reacted at all. You've got to find the best environment for your child. I know you said you were a teacher, there can be a big difference between a public school teacher who graduated from a university and a "teacher" in an accredited daycare. Some teachers in a daycare are extraordinary and run their classrooms in a caring, educational environment where your child thrives. Other teachers are there so the student/teacher ratios fall within state requirements and have no idea how to handle 20 kids at once let alone have an idea on how to educate them because this is just a job for them. Both daycare teachers tend to get paid around $8-10/hour. This seems to be standard for any licensed large sized child care facility in central Texas.

If you really liked the school your son was at, fight for him to get into the classroom you like. Directors at centers will listen to constructively squeaky wheels. If you don't mind moving take your child and your money elsewhere and let them know exactly why you are leaving. You can also take your concerns to the corporate office or the state if you are really concerned about the safety in classroom your son was in. To me it sounds like you're doing the right thing for your son, I'm sorry the center you were attending couldn't address your needs or give the teacher the training she/he needs to help the children grow. I'm sure his new pre-school will be the one to help him become an awesome little person.

No, you did the right thing - I would have done the same. It sounds like they have absolutely no control over the kids and are not handling them effectively. My 3 year old daughter is in preschool for 2.5 hours 2 days a week (so it is preschool, not day care), with a total of 18 kids in the class. there is the teacher, an assistant, and one parent who volunteers as the "snack and stay" parent. The teacher is a wizard at managing the kids, keeping them happy and getting them to cooperate and get along with each other, all without any yelling, harsh words, or time-outs at all. Granted, it's for a relatively short period of time but still - from what you described it's total mayhem and there's no way a child can thrive in an environment like that!

You absolutely did not over react, based on the description of the environment. I would express your concern, describe, in writing, what you and your husband saw, to Texas Department of Family and Protective Services, Child Care Licensing.

No it was not an over reaction. I feel so sorry for these kids in these situations. They have to become aggressive to just survive. I am glad your husband witnessed it too so he will back you. Your instincts are right on. It is not a good environment for young children or even my dog to be honest. Alot of day cares are like that but they get it all straight in the afternoon when the moms are coming to get them and have them watching a video or something or do not let them moms back there.

Here are some tips on choosing a child care center by Dr. Pruett with a link with more details: http://tinyurl.com/3z6kxhz

Look at three things:
- Find a school that puts a priority on learning through play. For young children, play is unstructured and freeing. It’s not about expensive toys, in fact, the simpler the toy, the more ways it can be used by a child developing his or her imagination. Toys and equipment should be carefully chosen, first for safety and then for how they stimulate young imaginations and help children develop.
- Look at the total environment. Environment means having clean, safe and spacious places to play, as well as the resources to provide imaginative, rewarding playtime. It also means a caring and well-trained staff, a critical element for any preschool. “Remember, how children are treated is as critical to their development as what they are taught,” says Dr. Pruett.

Well done. You did the right thing! I would have gone bananas on that lady who said you were over reacting. If she thinks that is OK she should not be alowed around little kids. I would even try to get in touch withthe other parents to let them know what I saw.

Down with mean people.

Nope! My gut feeling is you did the right thing!!!! You have to be the voice and eyes for your child when they can't and that place seems out of control! After talking with the teacher and director and still nothing..I would have pulled my child too!! Kudos to you!!

Yay for hubby! I'm sure not discounting what you had seen before, but now HE saw it and complained, also. You had your concerns, tried to voice it with the day-care director, but it was not addressed..... you waited, hoping it would improve.... it did not...... time to find a new day-care. If this was the behavior/management strategies used when parents were picking up, I hate to think what was being done when parents weren't dropping in at odd times!

Was there just one staff person in that room? Isn't that a bit high on the staff-child ratio? (8 kids, 1 teacher?) I admit, I don't know what that ratio is, sorry.

I agree with several others... there is a regulatory group that oversees day-cares... report it to that agency so they can start making unannounced visits. This needs to be done to protect the children!