Oppositional Defiant Disorder

I am confused. This is a disorder? The actions he is taking sounds like things I used to get spanked for ... do we really have to medicate this? What are the symptoms?!!! OMG there is something new every day it makes me so nervous!!!

check out www.thetotaltransformation.com, this is a highly praised program for children w/ ODD and parents living w/ a child w/ ODD. I believe they offer a free trial so you can see if it is something that will work for you. I wish you the best of luck and the strenghth as you deal with this.

I too have a child with ODD, and believe me i feel your pain. My son some days....a lot of days drives me to the point of tears.I have read a lot of information on the subject and the best book i have found is "The explosive child" Although mostly its just trial and error for me. Jaedon can be a sweet loving child on minute and is completely out of control the next. If you would like i would love to discuss this with you in detail, you can e-mail me at ____@____.com
Just hang in there and remember that your not alone.

J. Holland

G.,

**HUGS**

I understand what your going through. My son was dealing with what seemed like ODD issues for a while and the behaviors were so disruptive for the whole family. It broke my heart to see him suffer as well and made me very angry to have to deal with it. I had so many people telling me that "if you just did this" or "If you do that". None of it was helpful and all of it made me feel worse and worse about my ability to parent. The people who knew me well were baffled and as they saw it I was "doing an incredible job with what I had to deal with."

What turned out to be the problem was my son had Asperger's (a high functioning autism spectrum disorder) and as a result he also had some pretty server anxiety issues as well. I am not saying that is what your child is dealing with but I would offer a word of caution on the medication route. These medications were never intended to fix any problems like this, rather they should be used as a tool to allow you to deal with the underlying problems and in conjunction with behavior management. We did not use medication and I would not judge those who do, it was a pretty close call for us. Once we were able to work through his issues and I learned how to parent him in a unique way he needed (not the way a typical child needs to be dealt with at all) things got a lot better. His therapist acknowledged that he did not have ODD it was just the anxiety causing the behaviors.

Please consider getting a second opinion from a trusted & experienced source (hopefully with good referrals) before accepting a diagnosis that requires medication. Often ODD can be dealt with and changed with a good behavior therapist teaching you how to change it. Medication will not fix anything, it will only lesson some symptoms and often mask the real problems. Make sure the child has no medical issues like allergies etc and that they do not have another problem like anxiety disorder, sensory processing disorder or an autism spectrum disorder. These things can often appear with ODD like symptoms. In the case of true ODD parenting changes can often be what is needed to make a difference. That does not always mean that the parents have not tried there best, nor does it mean they are bad parents. It can be that they just need to learn and commit to a different way of parenting that works better with that child.

Above all be encouraged that your love ann commitment to what's best for your child will be what they need the most. Do not give up or be discouraged by others careless remarks.

Blessings,
R.

Enlist the help of the school psychologist, or guidance counselor if there isn't one. Also read read read as much as possible about this disorder. I do know based on my education and experience, that most adults with Antisocial Personality Disorder probaby had ODD as a child (which shouldn't be diagnosed until age 12 or 13, by the way). I don't mean to sound so negative, I just believe this is very serious and requires lots of work on your part to prevent the development of a more serious adult disorder. I also thing many kids now days are misdiagnosed, and then we get into the problem of labeling them "bad kids." It doesn't have to be that way. Lots of structure, love and positive reinforcement on your part will help. The school should be involved, hence the "No Child Left Behind Act!"

I have had a pretty good bit of experience with ODD, being the nanny of two boys, one with ODD and ADHD, and the other with severe ADHD. Setting up structure is the first part. Give him a way to release his anger within boundaries that you set. Seeing a behavorial psychologist would be a fabulous place to start, as well as checking out www.BAMM.com for books on parenting children with the disorder.

Toughen up with your follow-through and make sure your husband does the same. Also, look into food allergies. My stepson was diagnosed with ODD at age 8, but his symptoms were never present at our home, due to clearly defined acceptable behavior and punishments.