ODD,PDD And ADHD All in ONE Child!!!!

I totally understand what you are going through. My 9 year old son has ADHD and they were thinking that he possibly had ODD. We've come to find out that he may not have ODD and now he is going to be evaluated for Aspberger's Syndrome. It's a tough situation to be in, believe me I know. My son's behavior has improved and he isn't on any meds at the present time. I got together with the school and we are trying positive reinforcement with him and it really seems to be working. If he does have a meltdown and can bring himself out of it in a reasonable time then he is rewarded, and he is constantly being rewarded for all the good choices he makes. I hope this helped :)

Children today are being turned into 'letters/numbers', making their lives as impersonal as that of the convicts.

You are a step-mother; good or bad I don't know...but the fact that you are puts this boy out of his 'niche' in life. It is a very common problem today.

Such a child needs a "mom"...not a number. He/they need to be seen as John, Jim, or Don...NOT ODD (think of that! ! !) or ADHD or whatever is weird. He needs someone who sees him as an individual...not that extra kid that is 'stuck' being part of your 'family' (you have two children of your own).

Don't be offended with me...I have no intent to hurt/harm anyone. Just pretend for a few minutes that one of YOUR children fell into a 'home' where it was not a real part of the family; longed to see YOU instead of the 'other woman'. It's a frightening thought isn't it?

Call this fellow by his name...looking into his face, and seeing the 'real person' that is behind those eyes. In short: BE HIS FRIEND. You may save one of God's gifts from destruction.

Blessings...
KayMarie

Try www.explosivekids.org and if you haven't read "The Explosive Child" - not a quick fix, but real coping strategies for parents.

If you haven't yet, you may want to find a DAN doctor to guide you through dietary changes, etc. These issues are often biochemical imbalances in the body and can improve over time.

You have your hands full, stay strong!

I have a 16 year old that has ODD and ADD. not sure what PDD is. when he turned 11 he went to live with his bio father(dead beat) I could not take it anymore. I have two daughter to my husband age 6 and 5. And I hate them seeing the caious.
Every time i try to be nice and get him for a weekend he has one of his melt down and ruins something for one of the girls. I just want to give up but yet he is my first born son. And of course there is the family that point the finger at my husband for everything and trys to say that he does not have the diagnoses.
just hang in there and count down the years. you can also email me to vent at ____@____.com
K. B

Oh, what a rough package! Girl, pour a cup of coffee and sit down because you are not alone.

My oldest (he's 10) has a myriad of issues including PDD-NOS, ODD and ADHD. The PDD comes from Prader-Willi we came to find out. It's a bumpy ride and there were a lot of days I thought I was a rotten mom because I couldn't get a handle on him...or get him to get a handle on himself. Long days, longer nights where he couldn't or wouldn't sleep, being irritating just for the sake of it and doing precisely what he'd been asked not to do...yep, we have those battle scars.

Above all else, and what Joshua tries to tell you, he needs your time, touch and talking. Firm boundaries and real consequences for stepping over the line.

When you see the "professionals" go with your gut. And see if the facility has a parent's group.

You're in the trenches but there are other moms right there with you.

Talk to a coach! Joan Celebi, based in Massachusetts, is a Life Coach for Parents of Special Needs Children. Check out her website at www.prideandjoycoaching.com If nothing else, her monthly newsletter may help. (Free email) She is a parent of a child with special needs and she works with parents---she knows and understands what they are going through.

A.,
I personally dont have a child w/ this, though a few of his teachers want him medicated anyway...another story.
however, from friends I know and my sister too, counseling and therapy have helped immensely..and not just for your son, but for the family as a whole in order to deal w/ all his issues. but have to find a good therapist who deals w/ this particular diagnosis.

good luck

Hi A.,
Boy is sounds like you have your hands full! Joshua sounds like what my brother and husband were like growing up. They were both very hard children to deal with and discipline, so there are those of us out there who know what you are going through! If you just need other mom's to talk to I would suggest a mom's club. I'm in the mom's club of monroeville and it's a great way to meet other mom's, and mom's who have similiar issues as you're going through. It helps to get out and talk to other mothers. Go to www.momsclub.com to find a mom's clud in your area. Or if you live mear Monroeville email me and I'll get you all the info. Stay strong and remember that you're not the only mom out there struggling to get through!

hi A.-
i am a nutritionist and the first thing i thought of is - what is he eating? i know you said the others don't react liek he does, but there may be some food sensitivities or allergies Joshua has that trigger some of his odd behavior. so you may want to start tracking what he eats and when his horrible behavior is the worst.
you may find that sugar, high fructose corn syrup., articial sweeteners and colors add to his issues. so you will want to eliminate those first. preservatives as well. then check to see if it might be dairy, wheat or soy related.
good luck and keep us posted!

J. C.
personal nutrition coach
www.nutrition-in-motion.com
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Hello A.,

I also have a soon to be 13 year old son (as of March 20th). He has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. I know exactly what you are going through. My son is on Aderrall xr 15mg and Strattera 40mg. what may I ask is PDD, I don't think I have heard of that. My son is also with the very smart mouth and Big ATTITUDE lately, he also has alot of immaturity. I have 5 sons, ranging from 23 down to 13. I am 40 years old. married for 23 years to high school sweetheart. If you would like to talk and compare notes, would love to hear from you.

Dont feel alienated. As funny as this may sound, I am raising my 21 yr old sister who is ....OCD, ADD, ADHD,ODD,PDD,MMR, TOURETTES, and a few others. She is adopted. She is living with me because no one else can take care of her. She is loud, disrespectful,sexual verbally, and the list goes on. You may discuss anything with me as I have heard it all. I have learned to be patient. What is a professional????LOL....surely they have not raised a child of this nature. Seriously

Your not alone. I just read my life in your story/My son is 13 and has pdd joey has the same issue disrepectful the littlest thing sets him off I know where your comming from not having any one to talk to with a child around your child age you may E mail me maybe we can help each other Just remember you are not a lone and I do understand my e mail is ____@____.com
A PDD MOM

I'm right there with you I have a ten your old soon to be 11. I would love to chat with you I have alot of those days as well. I also homeschool due to our school system couldn't handle my child plus I have three other children!!! ____@____.com any time!!!

I was just wondering have you tries to set up a schedule of some kind for him to follow in a daily basis, hang one up in his room and some where else in the house and try and have him stick to it. I kind of know and understand what you are going through, my son is ADHD. This has helped us out, also he may require more sleep than your other two children. It is very hard and stressfull and sometimes the professionals don't get it, but totally drugging them is not the answer either but it can help to take the edge off. I hop ethat this helps you, take care.
Kimbera

A.,

Maybe I can help a little. I also have a 13 yr. old son who is ADHD, bi polar and has OCD symptoms. Life can be very, very difficult with kids like this. He also has learning disabilities. We have good days and bad days. You are right! The hormones of a teenager are not helping at all. I don't know if I have any advice but I can sure have sympathy for what you are going through. My son has been diagnosed since he was 3, so it has been a long haul already. Is your son on any medication? How does he do in school?

there are support groups out there. What about the dad?

I know of an office that helps kids with those conditions, it's Holistic Family Healthcare in NJ. Her name is Elaine Hardy and her website is www.holisticfamilyhealthcarepc.com. She is great with kids and so many people have referred me to her for my family and our conditions, it's unreal. She really takes her time w/you and listens! Good luck!

Hi A.,

Im sorry to hear your having such a hard time with your son. My son also has the above diagnoses in addition to tourettes, so I do understand what your going through. Have you tried a support group for parents with kids that have special needs. Also, I hope your taking some time for yourself to help manage the stress. Do you have support from family and friends? Please email me if you'd like to so we can swap stories/information, sometimes it helps just to know you're not the only one with these problems.

My stepson lived with us fulltime starting when he was age nine. At age 11-12 he became so difficult that we really needed a break. He was diagnosed with ADD, and ultimately Aspergers Syndrome (mild autism). He also had started pulling out his own hair until he had a bald spot, which was probably from the meds. We started lcoking our bedroom door at night since we feared his impulsiveness and unhappiness. We finally sent him to a wilderness school called New Dominion in Virginia for a year (7th grade). It did a world of good and gave him and us a much needed break. But it was very expensive. He is 21 years old now, and still cites that year as a turning point for him. Good Luck. I do know a little of what you are going through.

My son is in a partial hospitalization school program ran by our local Intermediate Unit. He takes the bus to school has a class of 13 kids similar in needs to him. He has 5 "profesionals". 1 regular teacer, 1 special ed teacher, 1 psychologist, and 2 psychiatrists! They help him learn to control his impulses and learn social skills, academics ,etc etc! It is saving us! What he learns at school follows through at home. They give family therapy. They have summer programs. I would contact your local Intermediate Unit and ask them where to get help. My son is diagnosed ADHD, Intermittent Explosive disorder, OCD and anxiety. He is 9 now and he has really learned a lot about himself in this class. He is a fantastic kid and we are seeing a lot more of him now! Its nice to have a bad day once in a while vs the good day once in a while we used to have. We use Focalin XR and Buspar to help. Good luck!

I have been raising my grandchildren for 16 years. The younger girl is now 17 and has these disorders. The last therapist told us to institutionalize her for inpatient treatment. That was not an option for us. Try dealing with a hormonal female with all the above! Life is hell on a daily basis. You never know what to expect and sometimes her behavior in public is mortifying. Her older sister is in her 1st year of college and on the Dean's list,was a cheerleader in high school and in the band. Not to say she wasn't a handful at times too! I could count on her to act appropriately in public at least!
People don't understand and think these kids are just bad and the result of bad parenting.
Hang in there- eventually they grow up and move on!

I wish that I could diagnose your childs problems . I am looking for the same answers with my ADHD and mood disordered 16 year old I am wondering if she has ODD too! I just bought a book - 10 days to a less defiant child- 1 chapter and I have already learned that as parents that we cant blame ourselves. We need to understand these disorders and how it applies with your child . Then start with identifying our positive parenting behaviors and regain sense of control.

www.autismlink.com has a great online support group. M.

I really agree with some of the things that others are saying. It does seem that maybe Joshua is an "outcast" when it comes to the other children. Maybe that is where alot of the issues are coming from, longing to be excepted. Not that I am in any way saying that he's not but when you look at it from a childs point of view he is not going to see that you treat the same as the other children he is always going to feel like the odd man out. Out of curiosity where is the mom? Another issue in its self. Here he is living with his dad and another woman probably hurting over the situation with his biological mother. I am sure Joshua has alot of other issues that are not abbreviations. I am sure you are doing the best job you can but sometimes our best is not enough. Maybe trying to get him into some type of sports with Austyn will help in a way. Seems to me Joshua is looking for that love and attention that HE feels he doesn't get. Good luck and God Bless!

Hello,

My son doesn't have any of these problems, but my nephew does. My sister uses the reward system with her son. He's 16 years old and has ADHD, OCD, PPD, and Asperbergers syndrome.

The reward system is based on my nephew controlling his outrages and bringing himself back into check. He is rewarded with 1 dollar everytime he brings himself back into control, and at the end of the week, he is able to buy privileges with the money he has. You also reward when he remembers to do "normal" things. My nephew is rewarded for walking around at a family function and at least saying hello to everyone.

I see what my sister and brother in law go through with my nephew and some days I couldn't imagine getting through it.

Hi, A.. I have the same problem my son is 13 yrs old. He is PPD,ADHD and ODD also. I have problems with him listening to me I started a chart at home of things that he needs to do everyday. I told him if he can get 25 checks on the chart I will take him out for an ice cream sundae on the weekend. I have problems getting him up in the morning and I hoping that this chart item with the award will work. I am also start him on weekly counseling out side of school. He goes to Durand Academy in Woodbury, it is aschool for kids with PDD and austim. Since my husband just decided that he did not want to deal with his son's problem any more he has moved out. That fine with me beacuse he was alway yelling or hitting Michael.
If anyone can he me a name of a new lawyer I would it would be very helpful. I am looking for one in the Woodbury area that does not charge to much. I understand what you are going thru, made be we can exchange ideas. I also have to daughters 18 yrs old and onne that will be 17 yrs old in the summer.
L. D.

My son is 24. Been there, done that! I would be delighted to be your friend in this journey through adolescence.

I have a son with all three of these issues. Austin is 11 years old and I as well can use all of the support I can get. This is a vey difficult,daily, frustrating, tiresome, eye opening, loving and blessed issue to deal with and I know that the other parents out there know the daily difficulty of this.Do any parents out there know of a parents chat site about this?

Hi A.! My sister can help you better than I can. Her son is 11 and has a laundry list of issues also. She is not a member of Mamasource. I forwarded your entry to her and she tried to respond but the site wouldn't allow her since she's not a member. She said to feel free to give you her e-mail address and encourage you to e-mail her. Her name is Amy Reese, and her e-mail is ____@____.com luck! Hang tough!!!

I understand exactly what you are going through. I have one child whom we adopted who is ODD, ADHD, RADS, PTSD, and possible Aspergers. We moved to Pennsylvania a little over a year ago and things got worse in a hurry. I have thought of forming some sort of a support group for Mom's in the area who are going through the same thing. It is soooo hard and if you are like me, you feel like you are all on your own on this one. Family doesn't understand, you get embarrassed around friends, and you feel as though you are constantly at wits end.

One moment my son is loving and wonderful and it seems as though at the drop of a hat things change. You are right, the professionals arn't there for the day to day. And if you are like me, when you go in to talk to them...either they don't understand the severity of the issues or you forget to tell them alot of the issues.

I would love to go through this with other Moms who understand.

Feel free to email me anytime. ____@____.com

It is nice to see others that are going through what I am. But not easy to handle. I am a mother of 4 girls. All grown but my 13 yr old. She was diagnosed with AD/HD and ODD at the age of 5. It has been really hard to handle her. Over the years, it got worse. A year ago, she got so out of control I had to place her in a adolescent psychiatric hospital. She spent 1 month there. They took her off her meds b/c she was being treated for the above. I told them I wanted her tested for Aspergers and she was finally diagnosed with that. I had to go online to see what that was about. I noticed alot of the things she did was part of that. It is really hard to handle. And as you said, the teen years add to that. I still have a problem with her. We work at it day to day. She is in a special school. But the therapists dont' know what we go through. They aren't there. I think kids do it at home b/c they don't have structure. It is hard to do that at home. My daughter Cheyenne has to keep her hands busy at all times. I will do more reseaching on it. I hope they have found some kind of medicine that helps some with him. If not, keep pushing them till they find one. If you need to talk, my yahoo is ____@____.com. I wish you luck and hope to chat. Sometimes I feel like I am gonna have a breakdown b/c I myself have emotional problems.

Hi A.
PDD is is on the autism spectrum and depending on who you talk to (professionals) the ADHD/ODD go hand and hand with the PDD.
Some docs will lump all the side issues along with the PDD.
Does your child recieve wraparound services to help his cope with some of his issues? Do you us medication for the ADHD?
I have a son who is almost 5 with PDD and he has ADHD and it was ROUGH until we started to medicate him. Wrap around has been helpful too.
Don't ever be afraid to ask for help. Kids who are on the spectrum take ALOT to patience.
((hugs))
Been there and still doing that....
N.