Old Clothes - Salinas,CA

All you need to say is hey I'm getting rid of some pretty nice clothes do you want to come look at them before I do? Really, unless you make a big deal about it (or her weight) I don't see how or why she would be offended.

Ask her about the clothes - just say you can't take them with you, they're in great shape, does she want them? - and if she says no, donate them to a women's shelter or similar.

When people tell me that they have clothes they no longer want/need that they think might fit me, I'm ecstatic. It means I get new (to me) clothes and I don't have to shop for them (I hate shopping).

Depends on your friend and how you present it. I would say, I am trimming my wardrobe down in prep for the move. Want to come over and see if you would like something? You don't have to say a word about sizes or your wt loss journey. That stays in your head, not out your mouth.

If you offered them to her saying "I know I'm a lot smaller than you now so I think my fat clothes will fit you now that I don't need them," she'll be offended. I think if you say, "Hey, I'm really trying to scale down our things getting ready for our move. I'm going to donate these books and games and, oh, and these clothes. I don't know if anything would fit or not, but do you think you could use any of this before I drop it off?" she'll probably appreciate it, and it'll give her an opportunity to gracefully decline.

I would just ask her. If you wanted to be sneaky about asking her you could say, "I'm going to get rid of my size - to -. Do you know anyone who might want them?" If she doesn't want them you could give to a resale shop and make some money to get some new ones. Congrats on your weight loss!

What would *I* do?

I'd say, "Hey Jane, I'm thinning out my things before the move and I have piles of stuff I'm going to donate, some are nearly new. Would you have any interest in looking through them for yourself before I take them to XYZ next Saturday morning? I won't be offended if you say 'no,' I promise!"

You will have:
•offered
•given her a way to politely decline
•given an end to the window if time, so you're not waiting for an answer OR tripping over piles/bags for more than a week.

Why not ask her?

I don't know why she would be offended. I guess I just don't think that way. If she could use the clothes, just ask her. "Hey, I have some clothes that I am purging. Would you like to go through them before I donate them? If you want anything, you are welcome to it."

How hard or offensive is that?

Donate, bigger sizes are always needed.

I would just say, "I am about to donate a bunch of clothes (do not need to give your reason) , do you know anyone that may be interested in them?"

When I lost a lot of weight in the last couple of years, I would tell people who are my old size that I'm getting rid of sizes and if they want them to let me know. One lady wore almost everything I gave her, another wore nothing, even though she asked for them. Either way, it's all good - they are out of my house and someone else has the option to wear them.

My coworker will often comment on the clothing I wear and when it starts to get too big, I ask her if she wants it. I stopped doing that a few months ago because too big for me is still too small for her and I don't want to offend her in that way, but I think asing is a great idea.

I made a group on Facebook just for this! Where men and ladies who are losing weight can pay it forward by giving the clothes sizes they've WORKED out of to other ladies who are doing the same, and they can look for gently used clothes in their new size.

It's JUST getting off the ground, so we don't have clothes posted yet, but it's called "Fit In Your Clothes." Join if you're interested! :) There's nothing to buy and it's completely free. No catch. :)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/736579903047371/

I would contact my friend, especially if I knew she was the size I used to be... and let her know I'm getting rid of clothes.... you don't need to say "these don't fit anymore".... or anything like that... as you know going through the process of losing weight can be frustrating for some women...

Any way - just ask if she'd like to look through the clothes you are going to donate before you donate them...

If you don't feel your friendship is strong enough for the question, just donate to a local woman's charity - especially if they are business attire - there's a place called Dress for Success..

http://www.dressforsuccess.org/locations.aspx

Good luck! Congrats on the weight loss!!!

I would just let her know you are moving and getting rid of stuff. Ask if she wants to take some clothes you no longer wear. No reference to lost weight or anything should be necessary. If she is not interested, then you can donate.
I do know some people that get so offended by the mere idea that they take used clothing. But it would not help to ask and if they are tight, then she most likely would be very happy to expand her own wardrobe without depleting her pocket.

Donate to the women's shelter and get a tax deduction. The clothes will be appreciated!

I don't think she'd be offended by hand me downs, but choose how you would say it. One of my friends lost weight had been about my size, which is not fat just not a stick and started talking about how skinny she was, dig,dig, and how she was swimming in her clothes, dig, dig and they were wayway too big for her and did I want them? Nope.
So my point is you might mention you are purging and kind of leave it at that and ask if there's anything she wants before you send them to Good will. You can go through the box together with no need to mention much more than that.

Just ask her if she wants to go through your transition clothes. People can find reasons to be offended but really, what are you saying. I believe you are going to lose weight and there is no point in investing in clothes you are going to wear for a week before you lose more weight! Who in their right mind could be offended with that.

Lots of great advice- I have nothing to add, I just wanted to congratulate you on your weight loss! Hope the move goes smoothly!

Do they fit her at the weight she is now? Or would she have to store them until she loses more weight? I'd gladly accept any handmedowns from friends who have clothing in my new size, but I wouldn't want to take on a closet of things 2-3 sizes smaller than I am right now.
You can always donate to Purple Heart or a religious organization in your community may have a clothing closet (like a food pantry).

I agree with Elaine's sneaky version of asking, lol. I wouldn't ask her directly, because it's too easy to offend her by guessing her clothing size.

heck yeah! next time she's over just say hey, these don't fit me and I'm looking to get them out of the house, want anything? easy peasy.

you're sweet to be sensitive to this, but probably over-thinking. if you don't make a big production (apologizing prophylactically for offense maybe not even taken) i'll bet she'll be just fine, whether she accepts them with delight or declines with thanks for thinking of her.
i just gave a friend some lovely clothes that i've kept too long for the opposite reason, hoping against hope that i'd fit back into them one day. i just said 'can you use these? if not, i'll drop 'em at goodwill next week.' she was thrilled!
:) khairete
S.

"Hi Friend, hey, I was packing up stuff to get a head start on the move and I have a bunch of clothes that I don't want anymore.

Do you want any of them? If not do you know anyone who could use them? Can I bring them to you to get rid of?"

give them to somebody who is able to fit that size... say hi i have so clothes that i can no longer fit.. i was wondering if you want them