I have 5 girls ranging in age from 2 to 17. Currently my 12 year old who looks 17 has a friend that she is very attatched to. It is a girl and she is a nice person, but I feel like my daughter is obsessed with her. I saw some of her texts and they say things like 'I dont know what to do with out you and i cant stand to loose you.' I never had conversations like that with boys let alone girls when I was 12. Does anyone have a similar instance and what is going on with these kids nowadays.
I agree with Mira. Also, kids are very emotionally verbally and physicallly expressive to each other these days, much more than prior generations, I think.
Well, it could be she has a romantic attraction, or it could be that they're just close friends. Kids today communicate so much by text, FB post, etc., that they'll sometimes be more demonstrative in writing than they would in person.
Either way, though, it's YOUR job not to obsess on this whole thing. If you're in the habit of monitoring her texts, then sure, keep doing that, but if you're concerned she has romantic feeling for her friend, there's really nothing you can do to change that. You can't sweep in and rewire her sexuality, now or at any point.
All you can do is be a good mom, and that means making rules about her behavior (as in, not staying out too late, etc.) but not trying to police her feelings. If you can be loving and accepting of her no matter what, you'll give her a wonderful shot at happiness for the rest of her life.
Have you seen girls' facebook pages lately? They are full of dramatic and sometimes ridiculous posts like this.
I do think your daughter and her bestie are just very dramatic.
You might consider talking to her about how over-the-top it is. Be gentle, but tell her it's not healthy to be so "stuck" on someone else.
Good luck...
I don't understand why it matters that your 12 year old looks 17 for this particular question, unless the friend that your daughter is saying these things to is much older than she is.
When I was 12, I would have been devastated if I had lost my best friend. It sounds like your daughter is just expressing how she feels while she and this girl are having a rough patch in their friendship. Hell, I'm still best friends at 38/39 with my best friend from when we were 10 and if I lost her as a friend I'd be completely lost. We "broke up" a few years ago and honest to God, I couldn't eat for days and neither could she. It was worse than breaking up with a boy. Our husbands forced us to sit and talk until we worked things out. Just thinking about it makes my eyes watery.
Talk to your daughter. It sounds like she needs your support.
When I was 12, I had a friend at church. We talked every day and spent weekends together. When we weren't up each other's butt, we were writing long, drawn-out "I love you" notes. I feel embarrassed even saying this. There came a point when we were forced to separate (a different story), and we cried. The adults got together for a party, which put us kids together. As soon as we saw each other, we coudn't touch each other soon enough. We boo-hooed and proclaimed our love and wouldn't let go. Then...we moved on.
I imagine that your daughter might have some of that going on. I don't think that you have cause to worry, but keep yourself in the loop. That's just good parenting.
I think there just best friends.My Little sister when she was 12,she did all those kinds of texts.
She's 12.
Just try to interject small lessons about what makes a good friend into your day to day life. When you observe someone being a good friend, say so. When you observe someone being a poor friend, say so.
As long as she understand what a good friend is like, she'll be fine. 12 year old girls are just dramatic.
Can't you just, talk/chat with your daughter about it?
Then you will know if it is dysfunctional or not or a phase.....
Some girls are just more dramatic than others...and friendship at their age means so much.
I wouldn't worry too much...
You may kinda wonder if she is Lesbo? I don't think she is. Its just drama queen behavior that teachers deal with daily.
Be glad that its not a boy. That would be more serious.
In all honesty, I find it very strange the way these girls talk to one another. I love u so much. Please stay with me. On and on. Someone please explain this to me. I see pictures on FB of girls kissing etc. very strange. So if someone can shed some light on this, please do.
Doesn't sound like she's obsessed with her friend. Sounds more like the friend is moving or they are having a fight and your daughter is taking it really hard.
I found a note that my granddaughter got from a girlfriend when she was changing schools. It said things like "your smile lights up the classroom" and "it won't be the same without you." It just means that she was/is well-liked and will be missed.
