Hello,
My daughter will be three in two weeks. Lately, she has been displaying some rude and obnoxious behavior. She yells at us and her little sister and says things like, "I don't like you!" She acts up in public places, whines, and generally does not listen to us. She claims she does not want to do fun things that we've planned or eat special dinners that I know she likes. She is just plain disagreeable.
She's always been a spirited but good, sweet kid. We've always been consistent with discipline using time outs and loss of privileges. This level of behavior is new. Granted, she has been through a lot lately (potty training, preparing to start preschool, and we recently moved out of state and away from all of our friends and family and her grandparents who she is very close to). I know this is all hard for her, but certain behaviors are not acceptable. I just wondered if anyone could shed some light on our situation. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!
A.,
I have a 3 year old and she is doing the exact same things. I really thing its just the age. The are looking for ome stronger guidelines and some independance at the same time.
My daughter is a good kid for the most part and wasn't really all that bad at two. I am thinking maybe she is making up for it in the number 3.
You might have to just get a little more restrictive on her right now until she calms down some.
I always say whoever coined the phrase "terrible twos", never let their child live long enough to see three. The good news is, in my experience anyway, they do settle down a bit at four. A BIT! LOL!
Oh my gosh, we are totally in the same boat! My daughter turned three in June and she is just nuts lately. She is whiney and disagrees with everything. She pretty much uses two sentences all day "I'm not going to" and "I don't like it." I've been talking to friends with older kids and they have all said that three is definitely a harder age than two for girls. Apparently they are just figuring out that they have free will at this age and they are trying it out constantly to see how much of their surroundings they can control. I really don't have any advice to offer, just tons of sympathy! Hopefully this will be a quick phase and we can have our good, sweet kids back soon!
I do think a lot of it are the recent changes, major ones, in her life. Bad attention is better than no attention, so I would try ignoring the bad things. I am sure it will be hard, but try for a week or so to ignore her when she acts out in public, or says she doesn't want to go someplace fun, etc. Either just pick her up and leave, or walk away. Then, when she does something good, reward it on a chart or somethig. I am sure in time it will all pass once she makes new friends and adjusts to her new surroundings. You could also try talking to her about things, in a way she can understand...like say how much you miss your parents (or your husbands) and how you know how hard it is, etc.
I am in the somewhat same situation, in that I have a 3- soon to be 4 yr old son. He whines, acts just like your daughter, and is very contrary to everything, down to his favorite meal. I sadly, have no idea what to do about it. I am pretty sure it is a stage, that I am sure he/she will grow out of :-)I was hoping mine was ending when he turns 4, you might be just entering it. She has had alot to deal with. Nobody likes change.Just wanted to let you know your not alone.
Hoping it gets better for you,
Kathy
A.,
I think you hit the nail on the head when you listed the changes that have happened in yours and her life. So now she needs attention and you are the only ones who can give it to her. I would set up phone calls with the grandparents and if possible (money permitting) have the grandparents come and visit. Let her know that even though she won't get to see them as much she will get to see them.
As far as her acting out - just stay consistent with your discipline. I'm sure once schools starts and she starts having consistency with the rest of her life again she will stop acting out.
Good Luck and God Bless,
Mel
