Are All 7 Year Olds like This?!

I would say it is a lack of discipline. I have a seven year old and he is very loving and points out to me when people are being rude.

This sounds like pretty typical behaviour of a child with no rules, boundaries or discipline. It's not his fault - it's your sister's. HE doesn't know any better than to do the things he's doing because his mother never told him NOT to!!

Were he my nephew, I would enforce whatever rules I saw fit in MY HOME. If he was bugging me for food outside of a designated meal or snack time? "Sorry Jack, now is not an eating time. We'll be having lunch in an hour." If he was destroying my furniture? "Jack, that is not how we treat other people's belongings" and remove him from the room. If he was jumping around on the furniture? "Jack, furniture is for sitting, NOT jumping. You need to stop."

Just treat him like you would your own child with YOUR rules in YOUR house. Either your sister won't like it and complain - at which time you can explain that if she doesn't want YOU to discipline her child, then SHE needs to - or your nephew will learn that there are rules and boundaries at your house.

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He's looking for attention, and he's getting plenty of negative attention.
Does she sit on the computer all day at her house too?
My youngest is past 7, but even now when I don't spend enough time just being with him he gets obnoxious, not to that extent but rude nonetheless.
If I spend even just a half hour of quality time with him he is much more likely to let me have my time. And by quality time I mean we sit down and eat breakfast, I played in the pool with him, I played a game of cards the other day, just he and I. We watch Phineas and Ferb
All your nephew wants is attention.
You need to step in and start giving him guidance in your house. Say NO, Tell him the rules. Sit down with him and teach him a new game.
Stand up to your sister and tell her to try paying attention to her son.

It's not typical behavior. That's what happens when kids are left to their own devices unsupervised for long periods of time.
Does he do this at his own house?
Batten down the hatches because your sister is NOT going to like you bringing this to her attention. It IS a reflection on her parenting.

they're like that if there are no boundaries or discipline. My kids will go through short (and I mean very short) periods like this. We try to stay on top of discipline especially at someone elses house, even if it's their aunt's house. Feel free to set boundaries and discipline with your nephew. Say, "please don't do that here... etc." Good luck!!

I have 2 children who were once 7, and one who is currently 6- they have NEVER behaved that way- not even close. It sounds to me like either a lack of discipline or ineffective/ inconsistant discipline. No, you are not in for this when your kids get older :)

No, I have a 7 year old nephew and he is really good. Don't get me wrong he has his moments but he isn't destructive or rude like that. Occasionally he will talk back or whine to me and I just treat him like my own, ie I say do not talk to me that way, I can't hear you when you whine, or do you need to go upstairs and gather yourself?

I will bet that even though your sister is occupied with computer, phone etc, the minute she hears you discipline her baby she will become involved. Therefore, I would start disciplining him like you would your own child. Either A) he behave better in your house or B)she will get PO'd and step in, at which point you can point out the issues. Good luck!

It sounds like a lack of boundaries, period.

Your sisters children should understand how to behave in their own home, and in someone else's home.

I would have a boundary talk, and talk to her about implementing simple rules.

"Nephew, couches are only for sitting on or laying on."
"Nephew, we only use the sink to wash our hands and brush our teeth"
"Nephew, big boys don't destroy things. Please leave this room."
"Nephew, don't kick my walls. If you dirty them, you'll have to clean them."

After you establish your rules- next time he breaks them ask, "Nephew, what is my rule about couches?" - he should be able to tell it to you- if he can't remind him....

best wishes-

No, to me it sounds like this child may have some developmental problems.

JMO.

That is normal behavior for a seven yr old boy IF no one cares enough to teach him right from wrong. It's not his fault,that no one cares enought to make an effort and prepare him for life. It's YOUR house. Give him a healthy snack, tell him in a firm voice to use an indoor voice, tell him to stop pouring water all over the floor. You sound as bad as your sister. Just ignoring him and Hoping he'll act like an adult will never work. Discipline your nephew and if your sister doesnt like it she'll stop coming over :) If you can discipline him with love and respect she may learn that it actually works and start doing it too. Read some books about disciplining seven yr olds you'll have one soon enough

MY husband and I agree. It is inappropriate to act like that at home and warrants discipline. It is unacceptable! Absolutely unacceptable to act like that at someone else's house. It doesn't matter how you are related. My kids are 5 and 2 and show more respect than that. The fact that your sister spent the whole time on the computer/phone was also disrespectful and rude! She is visiting you and should be wrangling her own kids. I would be appalled as well with this activity. Children can be rambuctious - mine certainly are. But they know better than to treat someone's house like a jungle gym and destroy it

No-not at all. I have a 7 yo boy who would not do any of what you are suggesting...nor would anyof his friends. I think this is a combination of some 'issues' that really need to be further explored and your sister's lack of discipline.

I have an almost-12 year old son & a 10 year old daughter. I can tell you for sure that boys seem to be hungry ALL THE TIME. I asked my son a while back if he ever got full & he looked at me like I was crazy (so I guess that means no, not only does he not get full, but he doesn't even know what that term means).

That is the only part of this scenario that I can understand, the kid bugging you to eat constantly. Other than that, he sounds like a nightmare. In all fairness to the kid though, it's not his fault, it's your sister's for not dealing with her own kid(s) immediately. My sister & I have very different parenting styles, but at the same time, we have no problem disciplining each other's kids when it's called for. With that being said, she would never allow her kid to tear up my house & the same goes for me concerning my kids at her house.

it's all in the name of BAD PARENTING

Wow.

I have a 6 and 7 year old (boy and girl).

They don't act this way - not even at someone else's house.

Did you tell the child "no" each time he did something like this?

I will say, my children tend to seem somewhat calmer than others, and while I do think 6 year olds are a little wild, this seems extreme.

It could be a lack of discipline, poor diet and/or personality, maybe all of them, maybe just one. All in all, I don't think this is normal behavior.

Talk with your sister. And good luck!

No, not all 7 yr olds are like this. I have a 7 year old son and I would be appalled if he did any of those things. It sounds like your sister is ignoring his bad behavior and so he just gets away with it and really does not know any better. She needs to get on him about things and immediately correct him and have consequences if he will not listen. Talk to her about the rules of your house and helping to make sure her son does not do those things. Talk to your nephew and lay down the rules of the house. That behavior would drive me insane too!

it is lack of discipline but may also be signs of something more like add or adhd. one of the symptoms of adhd is the inability to control ones self/limbs etc. my youngest son was not mean but he would be sitting or watching tv and out of no where would swing an arm or leg just swinging it not trying to hit anyone but he would swing the door on the entertainment center and it would slam back and forth he would tip his glass not to spill it but to see how far it could be tipped "before" it would spill lol. he had no idea that he was in someone Else's personal space or being too loud. it took a lot of time and constant consistent structure to get him to the point where he would behave in acceptable manner. she may just be so used to his behavior that she tunes it out. i would suggest that you have your play dates at her house lol

Not all kids are like that. Some kids are like that from the time they are walking, because they have neurological issues that they have not yet learned to control (and a few never do without needed therapy). Some kids are like that because their parents have not effectively set limits.

My daughter has a friend whose 6yo son is like this, and he has only recently been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum. I have real sympathy for the child and his mother, who must do her best to attend to his behavior almost every minute he's awake. It's still hard to be around him, though, for those of us who are not used to his intense energy and potential for destruction. When he comes to visit my grandson, I take over as parent on duty so his poor mom can get a break.

But your nephew may simply need tighter limits, and you may need to personally present your rules and expectations to him, and check on him frequently, when he's at your house. If that's different than the expectations his parents have, there will either need to be a learning curve, or you may need to limit the time he's invited into your home.

Good luck!

Lack of discipline. My former friend's 7 yr old was the whiniest little thing in the world. If someone asked if she could move her shoes out of the door she would start bawling. She would whine about very tiny things. Your sis left you with 4 kids by yourself while she is chillin, does she do the same thing at her house? I get the impression she probably does by the amount of things he feels it's okay to tear up. This isn't typical behavior. I doesn't sound like she disciplines at all. I would tell them that the visits have to be at her house or at a park where he can't ruin your things. Unless my relatives are going to re-buy my stuff I couldn't deal with all that destruction.

I am annoyed at him and I haven't even met him. Sit your sister down and have a heart to heart. Tell her you love her and her son. But that his behavior is causing you concern. Tell her that your affection for him is being affected by his incessant whining and by his destruction in your home. Tell her that she is not doing him any favors. Society will punish him for acting this way; in many ways. She is doing what feels good to her instead of what is good for him. She will regret this. A forty year old who whines is extremely disgusting. I once had an acquaintance who would call me up to whine and complain for hours. I finally had enough! The next time she called I let her on the phone for three hours. And I complained the entire call. I wouldn't let her get a word in. She hasn't called since;). You are sisters. If the talk doesn't work, find ways to annoy your sister. She will visit less frequently. And you especially have every right, yo modulate the noise level in your home. Make everyone whisper when he comes over. When you see Sis coming..., lay on the couch, turn down the lights, put some headache tablets on the coffee table, and put a cloth over your eyes. If your sister stays and the little boy gets loud, tell her that you are sorry but you have a migraine and need peace and quiet. Enough times of this and she will get the message. Make your house the quiet zone. He should also follow the same rules as your children in your home, or he can stay at his home! Good Luck;)

I would agree that this is NOT normal or typical - both my stepsons were 7 years old once and they would NEVER behave this way. I don't think it would even occur to them to do such things. They were usually the ones noticing other kids misbehaving and wondering what their problem was.

If I were you, I would have brought each and every episode to your sister's attention, taking nephew by the arm and leading him back to her to sit next to her and letting her know what he had done - if she is there to visit you, why is she spending time on your laptop or her cell phone? Your nephew may have ADD/ADHD issues, or it just may be lack of discipline and reasonable expectations for behavior, but his mother needs to take responsibility for controlling him. Otherwise, they should not be allowed to come over to your home until things improve.

My 7 year old can be loud and obnoxious but i do not tolerate it and promptly try to end the behavior or re-direct his energies. I agree with the attention thing - warm fuzzies or cold pricklies - either way attention is attention and he seems kinda starved for it.

I do have a friend whose son is a bit more destructive - he has actually torn apart the fence in a mutual friends backyard during a playdate - the parents were oblivious! however - he's never been a problem at my house - so it might be environmental as well - getting away with what he can get away with.

I'd venture that they ARE like that if they aren't given any discipline or direction. I would absolutely encourage you to tell your sister her son's behavior must be monitored by her while in your house or YOU will be the one disciplining him. I'd also mention giving her son a big snack before visiting would be a prudent idea.

I think your sister is just not disciplining the boy. Does he act like that at his own home? Have you talked to your sister about his behavior and how she handles it at home?

Anyhoo, since you are the Aunt, and he is in your home, start correcting his behavior. Children can learn different rules for different houses. I have the flip of your situation - I have lots of rules, my Aunt fewer for my son - so I had to learn to relax when at her house. What bothered me did not faze her. LOL

When he follows you around saying he is hungry - ask your sister when was the last time he ate. Maybe he really is hungry if sis didn't feed him expecting you to do so. But, teach him the appropriate manners for asking for a snack...please and thank you. Explain that lunch/dinner/whatever is being served in X time and that he should go play until then. Be consistent and firm, but loving.

When he yells instead of talking, same thing - correct him - teach him what an inside voice is. I have met children who have no clue that they are yelling, not talking, because their parents have never taught them the difference.

Destructive behavior? Next time he comes over have a chat with him about the damage he caused, show it to him, and explain because of that he will have to play within your line of sight until you are sure that he will not destroy things.

He sounds like he just needs to be taught good behavior.
Sounds like your sister comes to your house and abdicates her parenting to you.

If you are up for the challenge - because a challenge it will be - take the boy under your wing and teach him how to be a polite, welcome, visitor in your home.

Because imagine, this is your nephew and if he is driving you crazy, he must be driving other parents absolutely insane with his antics.

I kinda' feel sorry for him.

And no, you are not in for this when your children get older as you are already teaching them how to behave. I promise, your kids are fine!!!

Good Luck
God Bless

That is what you are in for, totally normal 7 year old behavior! But, your sister needs to be nipping it in the bud as well, not tuning out. Just because it is typical does not mean it does not need correcting.

My oldest son is almost 7 and no way he acts like this at our house or at somebody elses. Boys do get wild if you get many of them togather, but this wow, he needs some rules.

Its lack of proper discipline. He is old enough to know how to behave and control himself. You cant do anything about his overall discipline but you can set up the rules for at your house. It is your house and you can expect all children in your house to obey your rules. Things like no whining, you must ask polietly for food, no jumping on furniture. The things he is doing shouldn't be allowed anywhere ever. I am so sorry you have to deal with this with your sister. I hope that you can resolve this and not lose the relationship with your sister. A lot of tact will have to be used. And maybe even saying things to your nephew like - Can you help me by setting a good example for the little kids? I know you know better than to.....

I have 2 girls one is 7 & other 13 neither of which has ever behaved like this because I would never tolerate it. Okay you are their aunt, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't show you some respect or your home nonetheless. My girls have both had some pretty destructive friends and trust me, I have had my share of moments when I have had to keep from flipping a bean because of the way things got, but I would be sure to never allow that child to come to my house again. As far as relatives, my sister-in-laws children can be very destructive and they aren't taught to take pride in things so I feel like I have to police the area whenever they are at our house for a visit. What I have learned to do is not to have them for sleepovers anymore and I raise my voice a whole lot more then they are used to. I have always been the fun aunt, but it gets annoying when the parents are an earshot away and just sit there. I would tell you sister that she really needs to handle things a little better or maybe she should keep her visits shorter. I know it sounds mean, but if it's going to cause you this much aggrevation, is it really worth it? Best of luck to you and maybe we could start an online support group!

That is not appropriate 7 year old behavior. If your sister is not telling her child what is appropriate, then you need to tell him what will and wil not happen in your house and punish with time outs accordingly. If he contines to do the behavior you dont like, talk to your sister and her husband about what can happen in your house. The larger rift will be if you don't set boundaries and resentment will buid up in you. Good luck.
A.

If you continue to allow him to do this YOUR kids will learn FROM him!!!!

I would much rather confront my sister and possibly jeopardize that relationship than destroy my kids and my marriage. Just think, your two kids growing up like him and on top of that driving you and your hubby to the ends of your sanity. I know this sounds dramatic but you need to see where this could lead. I have a 9 and almost 5 year old and this is not ok. By the 32 posts I think you got a reality check that this is NOT normal. You have to choose to deal with your sister and nephew now of your kids later on.

Good luck!

This sounds like a couple of problems at the same time , sounds like he may have something developmental going on , and a lack of discipline.
If it'd have been my house , I'd have spoken up and asked her to get a handle on him. And if she didn't then I would. my house my rules I don't care what they do at their house , they follow my house rules. Maybe go over the house rules with him the next time he comes over and yes the constant eating is a 7 yr old thing , he's looking at a growth spurt.

I have to agree that it's probably a lack of discipline. I have a 6 year old daughter, and I bet she would do all of the things you described (and more) if I didn't discipline her. She would burn the house down if I let her! Discipline is tough sometimes, but I manage to get her to be pretty well behaved for the most part.

It isn't always a lack of discipline, sometimes kids have behavioral problems even though the parents try their darnedest, but it sounds like your sister wasn't even trying. I wouldn't worry too much about your kids being that way, especially now that you know what to expect if you don't discipline. :-)