Not Sure of My Question, but Maybe a Request for Moms of Too-friendly 4 Yr Olds?

I brought my 3 year old son to my hubby's corporate softball game after a 95 degree day walking around the zoo. I actually looked forward to letting him play in the dirt on his own while I kicked back and watched the game. A very friendly little 4 year old girl came over to play. I found it odd that she talked to me instead of my son, but whatever... she asked me his name, does he want to play, why does he do that, etc. I directed her to ask him. Instead of talking with my son, she talked with me about her nail polish, her baby sister, her new dress, her grandpa, etc. I was friendly enough at this point. That is... until she was standing in front of me, next to me, or ON MY LAP. I was thinking, "What the heck is wrong here, and where is the parent?!?!?" I did my best to ignore her politely.

My son engaged her finally. She hit my son with sticks. I stepped in and explained that they could pretend, but no touching each other with sticks. She hit him again, and my son whacked her. I took away the sticks.

The mosquitos were bad. She told me all about her bites from the weekend trip to grandpa's, and she thought that she needed bug spray. I directed her to ask her mother for some bug spray. She went to her mother. This is how I found out who was the mom, and I realized that she could not even see her daughter when she was by me. She was talking to a couple of players from the other team at 3rd base. I was increasingly pissed off. The little girl came back and said that her mother said yes. I was confused, then I realized that she wanted to use my bug spray. So I sprayed her. That wasn't enough for her because 2 minutes later she asked for more bug spray. I told her to ask her mother to put some on her. She left for awhile. I stewed, thinking how annoyed I was getting. I would love to visit with my hubby's team while my son played on his own. I was jealous of that other mom’s freedom at the moment. Hmm… to live life so carelessly.

I hate to say that the evening only worsened. They did go off and on playing together, but I felt the need to watch closely. At one point, during chase, she ran into the parking lot. I was frustrated... instead of correcting her, I congratulated my son for staying on the grass. After a few occasions of her doing something "naughty" and me praising my son for not doing that, she got vicious. She was scratching him, taking things from his hands, using a mean tone, etc. My son was increasingly rude to her, including an instance of teasing her with the rock he found. He held it out for her but didn’t let her see or touch it. My son got really mean to her, saying things like, "I don't want to play with you!" I corrected his behavior in front of her, saying things like, “Even if she is saying mean things to you, that doesn’t make it right for you to say mean things back to her. Just ignore her. Let’s go for a walk on our own.” We physically left the area, walking to our car near right field (the opposite corner of the field where the mom was standing). I was disgusted that the parent did not stop her 4 year old from following us. I could see the mom, but there were trees and bushes blocking the view between the kids and the little girl’s mom.

Thankfully, the game ended. (Ugh… they went an extra inning… torture!) I was so annoyed and ready to go home. I felt like I missed an opportunity to mold that child in some way, to help her along in life. She begged for attention, and she needed some guidance with manners. I kicked myself for not addressing the situation with the mom. Sadly, after thinking WWJD, I decided that I should have remained patient and used the situation as a learning opportunity for everyone.

Thanks for listening.