Not So Lucky.

Wow! I don't have any advice for you, but wanted to say that I am very sorry to hear that you are going through that. Just be strong and you will be fine! Remember, everything happens for a reason! I work for a law firm in Charleston, WV. I don't know where you are from, but if you are in this area, you can contact the Legal Aid Society in Charleston and they provide legal help for free for those who need it. You may want to speak with one of them about what you can do. I hope everything works out for you!

What a shock. I am sure. I know how I felt in the same situation, my daughter was only 15 months. The bad part is it is hard to get full custody. Judges want that joint custody, plus his attorney will push for joint custody. But you will, of course, retain residential custody. I know it is hard staring out, especially with what seems like no support system. I will help in any way that I can. I don't know what area of town you are in or want to be in but I am in the J-town/Fern Creek area and there are some decently priced apartments in this area that are nice and safe. I wish you the absolute best! Let me know if I can do anything at all. Also, what is your employment background? I work for Norton Healthcare and could look for full time openings that you might be interested in.

FYI - of course you need to seek legal advise but I worked for lawyers for ten years and I can tell you that joint custody in Indiana does not mean anything other than having a say in the rights of religion, education and healthcare decisions. But also keep in mind that as long as there remains no custody order, he has as much right to your daughter as you do regardless of where she is located. The police will not do much of anything to stop him from taking her from you without a custody order. Get legal advise and get it quick especially since he is a law student.

Do what you have to do, IF you feel he dose not need to be in the piture than by all means go for fulll custody. Get a attorny now. Make shure that child suport has been calulated. and you are also intitled to half of all the assests. IF you need to talk to me give me a shout at ____@____.com

Hi, I just read your post. I understand what you are going through, I am going through the same thing except we were never officially married. There is a program called 4-Cs which will offer subsidized payments for daycare. that is what I use for my daughter and without it i wouldn't be able to go to school or work at all. As for the emotional upheaval you are going through, I don't know. I think that you need to find friends, create connections with people that can support you. You really need support right now more than anything. With time you will get used to being alone again, I know its hard, but you will make it. If you have any more questions email me.
best of luck!
T.

Contact Western Michigan Legal Services. They provide free legal assistance to low income people in southwest Michigan, and they handle divorce and custody cases. http://www.legalaidwestmich.org/
They have different offices for different counties, this is the link to their contact information:
http://www.legalaidwestmich.org/document.2005-05-30.###-#...#

If you are not in southwest Michigan, there are other free legal services in other areas of Michigan: http://www.michiganlegalaid.org/

Sorry, it's not a responce, but my situation is similiar, and I need some suggestions as well.
My husband not only doesn't care about our daughter, but had said mean things about her before. I thought a divorce will be better, but he wouldn't let me do so. He said he doesn't want to give up half of his money and stuff, and if I filed a divorce, he will make sure that he is not screwed. (Staying married, he can actually spend more money.) We both work full time and make almost the same amount of money, so I naturally think that all the stuff will be split in half. I think the law says so as well. Is it possible for him to hide money from me and even the lawyer can't find out? What can I do to protect myself if I want a divorce?

J.,
I am not in your foot step but i know there is help out there if you need to get on your feet ok............if you need child care to work there is a place you can call and they can give you help for child care if needed to work or go to school ok.....then there is other help like for food or etc. but i know everyone don't want to go that way sometimes. I don't use any of it but if i did need help i would. I think it is there only for help.
but i feel for you b/c that has to hurt very much..........

Just do whatever you need to do to protect you and your daughter. If you don't want joint custody, fight for what you want, your daughter is certainly counting on you to do what is best for you and her. I also divorced when I had a young baby and that is exactly what I did. I fought for the things I thought important. And, if he is an absent father, he probably won't fight you on that issue anyway. He cannot leave you hight and dry without anything, regarless of wether the things in your home are "his" or things his family has given you. You have a marital home and at least half of what is in that house is yours. And although he is filing for divorce, and may be an absent father, is family is likely to want to continue their contact and care for their grandchild.

Find an outlet to discuss how you are feeling. It's important to protect your daughter but also allow yourself some venting, crying, whatever it is that you need. I certainly know how you are feeling, I was 27 when I went through that myself. Feel free to contact me should need someone to talk to. ____@____.com

Do NOT move out of the house. Usually the person who moves out of the house does not get the house (at least for the time being). Make him move out if he wants out. That is his decision. Also, that way your daughter's life won't be totally changed. Her bed, room, etc. will be the same. Good luck!

I am so sorry to hear about your family.

You need to contact a lawyer as soon as possible...it doesn't matter who bought what you are entitled to half of the possessions and child support and allamony is a possibility too.

You need to protect yourself and your child for the future...I know your heart is breaking but now is not the time to be "nice". This is your survival and how well you will live after the divorce papers are signed.

Please contact a lawyer and see what your rights are before it is too late.
Good luck and God Bless

Get an attorney. Also, unless there was a pre-nup, half of everything is yours regardless of who purchased it, gave it to you, etc. I would tell him you are going to fight for full custody of your daughter. You two may want to consider trying to work this out through couseling for your daughter's sake, but if you know deep in your heart it just isn't going to work either way, contact an attorney pro-bono (they take on the case for free until the case is settled). I wish you and especially your daughter the best, I know it will be hard on both of you.

I'm so sorry for you.
Now..don't sell yourself short when it comes to things etc. Right now it's hard to see things as they really are. You really need to speak to a lawyer asap. You can get a free or really cheap consult. You don't have to hire them at all. It just helps to hear what you are legally entitled to, what kind of chance you have custody issues etc.
I have been through this myself. I know how hard it all is. Hugs!

Be thankful for the help that his family gives you. I never got help from my ex or his family and had to do it all on my own with more than one child. It's hard...I know this first hand, but you have to have faith in yourself. You can do this. Take the time to meet some of your neighbors. Take your daughter to a park where you can meet other moms. You could always put her in Head Start. That's a good way to meet other moms. What ever you do...don't just stay in the house, at work, and at school...it's easy to fall into a funk or a depression that way. Most libraries have story time that you could take your daughter to and there should be other things in the community that are free or inexpensive that you can do with her. Good luck to you...and you CAN do this.