Not Sleeping in Crib

My daughter went through this and a friend gave me a book. One solution that worked for us from that book was to stay in the room when I put her to bed. I would read a book or magazine but not make eye contact or pick her up. If she started to fuss I would just say sshhh it's okay, she would just stare at me and eventually go to sleep knowing I was there. it took about 5 nights of this before she would just go right to sleep.

Hi T., I don't have advice for you, but I am in the same boat except my daughter is 2 yrs old. This started recently.. Have you tried soft music? Is your bedtime routine the same every night, even down to saying the exact same words so he knows it's bedtime?

Have you read the sleep book by dr. sears or Elizabeth Pantley's book The No Cry Sleep Solution? I was having problems with my son waking up every hour. I've been following the advice in those books for a few months. Last night, my son slept a six hour stretch. This is HUGE for me!! I didn't have do anything drastic, let him cry, etc... There is info. in the books about helping them sleep in their cribs too.

T.,
When my son (who is now 21 months) was about the same age, I had problems with him waking much more than I wanted. I didn't want to let him just cry and leave him, so I compromised. I didn't leave his side, but I didn't take him out of his crib either. I played the same music for him at bedtime, so that became a cue for him to go to sleep. When he would wake up, I would go into his room and tell him that it was still night night time. I would lay him back down and start to rub his back to help him calm down. Sometimes he refused to let me lay him down, in which case I let him sit up or stand up and I rubbed his back. Sometimes he would stand and hold me, crying, until I could feel his little legs giving out from pure exhaustion. It was difficult and he was stobborn, sometimes I would do this for close to an hour. But I stood my ground as well and eventually he stopped waking up. He now sleeps great; in bed by 7:30 and up at 7, without waking in the middle of the night. I would say the process took about a week. It's a similar concept to letting them cry it out, but I didn't feel as bad b/c I didn't feel like I had abandoned him in bed. Eventually he learned that yes, momma is around, but no momma isn't going to take me out of bed.

Hope this helps and at least gives you an idea. Take care and good luck.

Hi T.. I am a stay at home mom new to Reno. I had the same problem with my son. I did, however, (after trying MANY other unsuccessful options), I let him "cry it out". He did cry...alot. It was really hard. It worked after a few days, but it was a painful process. My girlfriend tried many things too. What worked for her was lying next to her sons crib and holding his hand until he fell asleep. I tried that...didn't work for us. I also tried baths w/ lavender oil right before bed, messages, warm milk, cuddling on the couch for at least a half hour before bed, etc. I really hope you find a solution for you and Colton. Remember, everything is a phase. Also, my sons is almost 4 now, but if you want to try a play date, let me know. Good luck.
~A.

If you don't like the routine then you have to make the changes. How do you want him to go down for bed? Do you want to rock him to sleep or would you rather just lay him down and let him doze off on his own? I personally sang and rocked my daughter to sleep until she was about 19 months old...because that is what I loved to do. She made me change that. She decided that she just needed a few friends in her crib (stuffed animals, which I took out as soon as she fell asleep) and she put herself to sleep. She just turned 2 by the way. It is very important that you do not pick him up and put him back to sleep in your arms. There is nothing wrong with rocking him to sleep at his age, or whatever age as far as I am concerned, but once he goes down then that is it unless soemthing is wrong. At his age he should be quite capable of soothing himself back to sleep. I am not big on letting them cry either, but sometimes you have to let thenm cry it out to get over a hurdle. When he wakes up the first time let him cry for 10 to 15 minutes before going in. When you go in DO NOT PICK HIM UP., lay him back down and tell him it is night night time and give him a little rub or pat on back until he calms down then saynight night and leave. He will surely get up again so let hime cry for another 10 to 15 minutes before going in the second time and keep this up until he wears himself out......trust me he will. It will be harder on you than him. He will get it. The habit has been set up by you and must be altered by you. It will be tiresome for you but worth it in the end. At his age he should be very secure that mommy will be there in the morning and he doesn't need to reassured all night long. Mommy wants to sleep too, right. Good luck

Hi T.,
My son went through similar stages and always got better eventually. We ended up with him in our bed for many months and I understand if that's not what you want to do. My son now sleeps great in his crib because it is next to our bed. He wakes infrequently but when he does, it comforts him to know we are right there. Occassionaly he stills seems to need to be so close that he sleeps next to my husband in our bed but that is getting less and less. Maybe your son is at a stage where he is realizing that you are gone/could be closer and would do better in his crib if he knew you were close. Just and idea. There is a book called The No-Cry Sleep Solution that has some other ideas for getting children to sleep through the night without letting them cry alone. Good Luck, M.

Hi T.,

My daughter is the same age as Colton - 9 months and I was having the same problems with her, once she was able to stand up. When I would lay her down, she would stand up and cry. Even when I got her to sleep, I would find her standing up and crying at some point in the night. I purchased a sleep sack for her to sleep which, which I thought would enable her from standing. Surprisingly, it works and she is sleeping better. I also started playing a CD of soft classical lullaby music to calm her down. Hope you find something that works for you. I can relate to the frustration you must be feeling.

D.