Not in Agreement to Sell House (Partly Venting)

I'm confused. Why would you not sell the house? Does someone live there? I have never heard of keeping the house for the sake of keeping the house. I thought it was always understood that when a piece of property is left jointly it is to be sold and the proceeds distributed. When my dad passed the house was left jointly to the siblings, we immediately put it on the market, and when it sold we split the proceeds. If one of us had wanted to keep it, then we would have had to pay the other two their portions of fair market value.

My FIL is just finishing this with his two brothers. Two wanted to sell, one didn't. They were paying for the upkeep and running of the farm out of the estate, which was decimating the estate and only one brother (the one who lived on the property and didn't want to sell) was benefitting from it. After 2+ years and meeting with estate attorneys - the one who didn't want to sell is having to take out a loan to pay the other two their portion of fair market value of the farm.

The 3rd sibling can buy you out. I think that would be a fair option. You would need to get it appraised and she needs to qualify for the loan amount or pay cash.

Lawyers will burn the money so fast. Try your best to work with this sister (even if she wins a little), so you can limit the time spent with attorneys.

If your sister does not want to sell she should buy you and your other sister out. If she can't afford to do so, then I believe she must sell. Who is paying for the upkeep of the house? Is your sister living in the house?

You will need to speak to a lawyer about this. I have seen where it has taken a court to get involved with the sale of a property when the owners aren't in agreement. The Judge will probably tell her to either purchase it from y'all at FMV or the house will be sold to another and she will get her share.

If she is holding this up talk to an attorney ASAP

Definitely you and your other sister should get a good lawyer now, with expertise in wills and estates. She may need to be told she has to buy you both out of your thirds in the estate and that may prod her to agree to selling.

One thing is not clear to me -- you say that your sister has moved very slowly (or not at all) on things like choosing items, cleaning out the house, etc. And then you say that "if two out of three agree to sell the house, is there any way to force the third one to sell?" But you never come straight out and say, "Sister 1 and I want to sell and have told Sister 2 that but Sister 2 has clearly said she does not want to sell."

Do you see the question? Has your sister said flat-out and clearly, "I do not want to sell this house" or is your issue more one of, "If and when we ask her I think she's going to balk, so what's the possible scenario IF she says no"?

The answer matters. If you and Sis 1 have not sat down, in person, with Sis 2 and said point-blank, "We both now want to sell the house, period; what is your position on this, definitively?" then you don't know for sure that she WILL balk. She might surprise you and say, OK, let's get this over with. In fact -- she might be more willing to say yes to sale if you and Sis 1 just swallow the fact that Sis 2 has been a pain and offer: "We want to sell the house. If you will say yes and sign off legally on the sale, after you do so, we will ensure that the house gets cleaned out etc. We would prefer that you do it but we are ready to sell this property after three years."

Not fair, I know. She should do whatever she's supposed to do. But you can't change people and can only change how you react to them. She is not going to alter her foot-dragging ways, so offering to clear it all out and hand her her share of furniture etc. may be the fastest way to get the property off your hands now and not in a few more years when it's got even more maintenance YOU will have to pay for. But do nothing without her legally signing off on a sale.

That's why you absolutely need an attorney. Tell her the lawyer is there to protect ALL three of you, not just you and Sis 1.

By the way, I do not at all think you are being cold! You are being realistic. Your father would not want you and your sisters burdened with a piece of property that was costing you money, and it's too bad that the house has already eaten the money he did leave -- that was wasted, unfortunately, and Sis 2 needs to be made (by the attorney) to see that.

It is not some black mark against you to need or even want to sell your childhood home. Is Sis 2 either subtly or blatantly accusing you and Sis 1 of being cold and rejecting your beloved home, memories, etc.? Does she live closer to it and therefore feels very attached, or has to drive past it more often, or is she overall having a tough time dealing with this ending chapter to your mutual childhoods? Does she perhaps feel that once the house is sold, her youth is gone irrevocably? (Yes, I've known folks who went that route and it was hell for their relatives.) I would bear all that in mind, but it is not a reason to give in to any emotional blackmail to keep a house with your names on it when it stands there empty. Your father would not want an empty house to become a money pit or a source of anger among you.

We sold my mom's house in six months after she died. I hated to do it but she was no longer there to visit. I was glad it sold so very quickly so that we could get on with healing in other ways--I would have kept visiting and feeling blue if we had lingered on a sale. And my mother was clear that it was ours to do with exactly as we pleased, preferably to sell since no one else lived in her town. I was fortunate that my one sibling was totally on board with selling and was a big help in many ways.

Since it's in his will your hands are tied. You cannot legally do anything until you go before a judge and he tells you what to do.

My friend was made the executor of her mom's estate. That was over 10 years ago. She is STILL paying monthly storage rental out of her own pocket for the whole estate because one of her brother's is married to an attorney and they fight her on every decision.

The money went away a long time ago due to storage and legal fees to try and resolve these issues.

Their mom's home was sold right after that first big OKC tornado years ago. So that money was what my friend was managing and using to keep the estate as it needs to be.

Now this is a regular household of stuff, fridge, washer and dryer, mom's clothes, dishes, etc....nothing of any great value. The storage for all of it is a 20'X20'. It's even in another city because my friend moved away from OKC.

This has gone on this long. Every time my friend files a petition with the courts the attorney sister in law puts a block of some sort on it. So they continue it.

The last time they went to court the brother argued that he wanted the empty bottles him mom collected and put in the windows. My friend told him he could come take them as soon as he contributed to the storage fees that she has incurred over the past 10 years. So the sister in law stopped the hearing that "might" have decided this issue and my friend is still paying storage fees for a bunch of junk that's not even worth the amount of money she has paid out.

So get this resolved now. Go to an estate attorney and find out the laws regarding this and get a court date. It will be worth it in the long run to get it over with.

Yes, your sister may never speak to you again but she's already shown you that she doesn't care about your feelings and emotional trial of doing this.

So resolve it. Do what ever it takes to get rid of this burden.

Make sure it's in the court ruling that if you get a reasonable offer, make sure to have an evaluation done to get it's worth, and have it written that due to housing costs fluctuation that the Realtor may have to go down in price to get it sold.

You want to be able to answer the phone and the Realtor say "We've got an offer on the table for $XXX,xxx. Can we accept this offer or do we have to say no because it's not within the range the court said.

This way you don't have to call your sisters for each and every transaction.

But legally you can't do anything with the contents of that estate unless you have it in writing from your dad. Even if it's something simple, since your sister is fighting about it, I'd make sure to check with the estate attorney to make sure it is within your boundaries as executor to do so.

Sell everything you can-convert stuff to cash-no sense loving something that doesn't love you back. Put the house on the market-if you are the Executor, divide everything as you see fit and pay yourself for your time and travel expenses including meals on the road. If everyone has had an equal opportunity to help and won't then get it done as best as you are able. Good luck.

I do NOT think you are being cold, in any way. This is just facing reality, like you said. It seems like you recieved a lot of help and great advice from the below posters. Hope all works out for you all! Blessings!!!

I think you should try the hardball approach before spending money on a lawyer. Your sister is being unrealistic. Tell her it's sad, but you can't afford to keep the house, so if she wants the house she will have to come up with the money to buy you and your sister out, otherwise you will have to sell and split the money.

It doesn't sound like there will be a way to appease her or stop her from being upset, so she's just going to have to be upset. Don't get an attorney unless you absolutely have to.

Your parents' will should give you direction. Does it say you have legal responsibility? If yes, then you have the right to sell it. Or does it say that you need a consensus of the siblings? If that's the case, then you're stuck.

Good luck!

Yes this is a question for an attorney but we have a similar situation in our family There is a 3 way ownership in the family home. One party wants to sell the home but can't without our agreeing to sell it. The only alternative option would be to buy her out of her portion of the house. That would involve getting an appraisal of the house and getting comps for the house then figuring out what the 1/3 portion would be and buying her out or her buying us out by paying us the 1/3 portion each which she doesn't have.

We are saving up now to buy her out. We intend on offering her at least $10,000 over the market value since neither of us intend on selling the home ever. Since the home has such little value as real estate it's only real value is sentimental, she should and would be satisfied because the numbers we come up with from professionals will be the same she comes up with. She will have the money she is so desperate for and won't have any of the expenses for the property.

What does the will say? Does it specify that the house is to be shared by all the siblings, sold and the profits shared? That is what the attorney, courts, and/or escrow is going to follow.

Homes are not meant for keepsakes. The flower vase that your mom used put the flowers your dad bought her every payday is meant for a keepsake.

Perhaps your sister needs to come to terms with the loss of her parents. She may need a little counseling to get through this. Try to talk to her about the time to move on. It is a difficult and sensitive situation.

When my grandmother passed, one of the first thing my aunt did was call everyone and ask them to pick up the box that was separated for them. I hated that she did it for me and resented that she did it so soon. In retrospect, it was a great decision.

Best wishes.

Yeah, you do need to talk to a lawyer. Is she living there or some reason she doesn't want to sell? She could buy the rest of you out.

I am just not sure you can compel a sale.

You said it... you're legally in control because that's how your father planned it. You need to use that. If you can arrange an estate sale for the items that none of your siblings want to claim, then do so. Once the house is finally cleaned out set up the sale. Clarify it with a lawyer, definitely.

My IL's house is set up the same way... all of her children own equal pieces of the house. When she passes, it's in the will that every one of them will have to agree on the items in the home, but when it comes to selling the house that will have to pay any leftover bills there may be (there shouldn't be any) and the proceeds of the sale will be divided among them. They don't need a majority vote because I believe my eldest SIL, who is the oldest child and daughter, has Power of Attorney over the house. She would discuss the options with her siblings and then make a decision she feels is best based on everyone's input and opinions. Then she would proceed even if one of them was 100% against the majority (there are 4 of them total).

You need to talk to a lawyer, but I am pretty sure you can sell unless she wants to buy you both out.

Speak with a estate lawyer. Maybe you can set a deadline at while time your sibling will need to either buy out everyone else to own the house outright or it goes on the market.

My elderly neighbor died a couple years ago. Her 3 daughters had 1/3 share of the house. They weren't ready to move on yet so 1 sister asked if her son and his new wife could move in under the agreement that they would start renovating the house (which had not been updated since the 40's) pay no rent but would cover all bills including the property tax. The other sisters agrees and the couple moved in.

Fast forward a year later and son and wife have not renovated anything. In fact they adopted a dog and a cat but since they worked 10-12 hr a day the house was ruined by pee and poop on the floors and woodwork. Mother of the guy couldn't see what the big deal was but other 2 sisters were beyond pissed. They wanted to sell so they told the other sister that she'd have 3 months to 1)come up with the money to buy them out or 2)evict the couple and make them pay for all the damage caused by the animals.

Sister ended up buying out the other 2 sisters, She had to gut the house because it was a wreck after her son and dil left. Her relationship with her sisters has been damaged which is a shame since they are all mid 60 to early 70. Elderly neighbor would have been heartbroken over this.

You need an attorney who specializes in this stuff. It's according to how the deed is worded, I believe. Please get one right away.