Not Happy with My Medical Care. Need Suggestion , Please.

My OB apps when I was pregnant were very very short. Ig there were issues, we talked. If not in and out.

Chances are, he knows you now. He has been there for two births and considers you an expert! He may not have to spend as much time with you since you have had a long relationship.

But if you feel badly, just say something. He will understand. You're having your 4th and are hormonal. He gets it. Just tell him to sit if he is standing. Tell him that it would make you feel more comfortable.

In the end - is he a good doctor? If so, his rushing you when there is nothing the matter is ok - both yours and his time is valuable. Let him take his time when you are giving birth.

Have a great pregnancy - congrats!

Hey may think you've "been there done that". I would just be frank with him at your next appointment and tell him that you feel like he's treating you differently because he thinks you know the ropes, but you are fearful that he may not be being thorough.

I can tell you that by the time I was pregnant with my 8th my doc pretty much was in and out. Why? It wasn't my first rodeo, if I had a concern he would take the time to address it but beyond that it was a quick weight/measurement check, blood pressure, and how do you feel..."good, okay see you in a few weeks".

Honestly I preferred it that way.

Now if you are high risk, that would be different and I could understand where you are coming from, but this being your 4th and you liking him until this point. I would guess that it's more you and less him.

This is your 4th go around, he probably figures you know how to do it by now, lol. If you are low risk then you don't need really involved care, you just need someone to monitor your progress.

If you have questions for him, write them down. When he comes in, take out the list and tell him that you want to ask him about a few things. If he answers all of your questions to your satisfaction, you may feel better. If you feel like he rushes you out the door, you may want to say something. Many OB offices have an office manager that you can ask to speak with. That will be the "customer service" person. If you think there is something wrong and your concerns are not being addressed, you need to be very specific about your concerns/questions. If it is a medical issue, as in you are not getting care that you need, see if the office manager can book you with another doc in the same practice for one appointment.

Just like with any relationship, the more comfortable we are with someone, the more liberties we feel we can take. I think your doctor could be feeling very comfortable with you as a patient and in your knowledge of "having a baby" he may even feel you are strong enough to speak up and therefore the pro-active probing for questions isn't needed. I'd ask the office what times/days are more busy. Use that information to try and schedule your appointments on days or times that are less demanding (I know it is always busy, but you know what I mean).

If things persist, talk to him with the upfront statement of you not wanting to, nor intending to leave. It is not a threat, but a concern.

good luck! sounds like you are already a great advocate for you health when you chose to move 10 years ago!:)

Alot of doctors are more rushed these days because the HMO's and medical groups are making them see more patients and getting less $. Average appointment times are getting shorter. Still, a good doctor will want to give you good care. So be proactive, write out your questions, be direct and prepared to make the most of the time you have in his office.

I am not a needy person. If I have a question I expect that answered, beyond that I don't need a new friend.

Instead of looking at what you *feel* may be lacking actually figure out is something lacking. Perhaps because time is my most valuable asset I don't look at an appointment as you owe me 20 minutes!! If my doctor can get er done in ten well that is ten more minutes I have for other things.

What did you expect would happen that didn't? Would him sitting down have enhanced your experience? Did you have a question that wasn't answered?

I mean fourth kid, you have to have some idea what you are doing, I have four, I was pretty confident I could have squatted in the field and had that one.

Sorry I am kind of sitting her wondering what you wanted him to do that he didn't do beyond the sitting.

Come to think of it I don't recall my OB ever sitting down. I would have probably looked at him like why are you getting comfortable there? Of course there is always the possibility I am strange. :)

I think your situation is 1/99. 1% hormones 99% affects of Obamacare.

Maybe consider clearing the air with him. Especially a male should be mature and receptive to making things click better. Perhaps he assumes you are a pro at this and he's been more hands off than a first timer. If you don't like that then just say it, nicely of course.

If he has taken care of 3 pregnancies with you, you should be able to tell him that you don't feel that he's paying much attention to you. His question about what you attribute your lack of weight gain doesn't bother me because it sounds like something my own ob would have said (and probably did with my second child.) However, you know the difference in the way he was with your other kids.

Perhaps he feels that you are so experienced at this that he doesn't really need to "hold your hand".

Talk to him. Surely he wouldn't take offense...

Dawn

There's a big difference between being unhappy with a doctors bedside manner & "inadequate health care"! So u think your title is misleading.

Off the top of my head, I'd say you could:
1. Discuss it with him/her
Or
2. Change doctors

Good luck!

I have to agree with Ally G & Nancy W.

It's not worth being a Dr anymore.

I would tell him, "I would like YOUR professional opinion on that" if he asks a question like that. He may be trying to include your thoughts and opinions vs being dismissive. If you had a baby with him before, he may be assuming you are feeling the same. You might tell him, "I know I've gone through this with you before, but this one feels different - I feel significantly sicker - and I really need your input."

The OB that ended up delivering DD has been described by some people as curt and not warm and fuzzy or friendly. I found her to be polite, professional and business like - what *I* needed from someone helping me deliver my child. So if you otherwise like him, try not to stress sitting vs standing and just tel him what you need.

First to answer your question: don't switch. Instead communicate with receptionist and/or nurse about the situation. Do it kindly-you need them on your side. They are in the best position to make sure you have enough time for your appointment. And write down your questions beforehand. And maybe find out if you can send them in by email or snail mail.

As for the perfunctory treatment, I have an interesting take on it. Doctors may be well-trained in their field but they suck at running a business and sometimes their bedside manner suffers as a result.

Example 1: while living in Levittown, I used a primary who was ALWAYS running late. I'd have to wait, first in the waiting room, then the exam room. Standard delay was an hour. So for one appointment I told the receptionist I wanted the first appointment of the DAY (not even the one after lunch in case he came back late). I sat in the exam room listening through the paper thin walls as doctor booked a golf outing over the phone. When he finally entered the exam room a half hour after the appointed time, I asked what the delay was, explaining that I booked first thing so I wouldn't have to wait. He claimed he was dealing with a patient over the phone. Huh? Switched doctors after that.

Example 2: I must see an endocrinologist. I had one who was a 1/2 drive away so I usually call to find out if they are running close to schedule. No worries, I was told. When I got there it was SRO! Never saw the waiting room so crowded, ever! Like an ER. I inquired about a wait time at check in- 20 minutes at most. An hour and a half later (only 1-2 patients called and there were other doctors in the practice), I inquired again. All of a sudden I'm told there was an accident on a major local roadway and patients were delayed, and they couldn't have known, and on and on. I demanded to know why I wasn't told when I called, or when I checked in, or why an announcement wasn't made to those in the waiting room within the last 1 1/2 hours! I wasn't there for an emergency and would not have minded rebooking. Within moments, doctor was in the waiting room, rushing me into an exam room. Anything to get me out of there and not agitating the masses into revolting! She had the audacity to bill me for co-pay however I sent a bill back for my time wasted waiting, based on my salary. I never heard from her again and never paid a cent. I also called the insurance company to make sure they didn't pay either.

Example 3: I left my last multi-doctor practice because they wanted to charge me $25 per year per child for filling out school, camp and extracurricular. Even if I did not need more than one. Why am I paying for information that is MINE, that you could just print out for me to attach? That was paid for already by my insurance carrier and my co-pay! Seriously, you are billing me because you have to do paperwork?!?!?

Each of these incidents happened YEARS ago, way before the Affordable Care Act was even a glint in Romney's eye. I suspect it WILL get worse once more people have access to traditional office medical care (and not ER care) once they have affordable insurance coverage.

So you are right in that you are your own advocate! We will need to be squeakier than ever to compete for our providers' attention.

Congratulations on the upcoming blessing! Health and happiness to you and yours!

Your feelings are totally legit. I wouldn't take it personally, though. I bet he feels so comfortable with you by now he can be "less attentive". I know, that's backward and incorrect thinking, but maybe he feels like you know the drill so he doesn't want to bother you with boring stuff you already know. So I wouldn't jump to any negative conclusions.

Question 1: If I ask a question or raise a concern and it doesn't get addressed to my satisfaction or understanding, it's not sufficient care. You should feel like a respectable adult who gets the answers you need to be comfortable.

Question 2: You need to get the care and attention you deserve. So when you come into your next appointment, ask the front desk if he's on time. Ask when the best time would be to make appointments because you have a few additional questions. Also ask the MA or nurse if he's been busier than usual lately, because you really haven't felt like you've been getting all your answers and feeling rushed. Ask this person for help in getting your questions answered.

Last, but very important, when you see your doctor, have a list of topics prepared on paper. When he comes in, give him a heads up that you have a few extra questions this time because it seemed like he was in a big rush last couple of times (in a polite way; you're sticking with this guy!). If he doesn't sit down, kindly explain that you would be a lot more comfortable if he sat down, or make a joke saying "you might want to sit down for this", or "sit down and stay awhile!".

I think you are justified, and I also think this is a problem that can absolutely be resolved with some assertive (not aggressive) actions on your part! Congrats!

I guess I had pretty low risk pregnancies, but I don't remember needing any "care" from my OB. They had me go for all kinds of blood and urine tests, and checked me out, but that was about it. I was usually in and out. Even at the delivery, I don't remember having much to do with the doc. As for the throwing up, did he offer you a prescription? I remember a friend having a prescription for morning sickness that helped.