My DS has NO stranger anxiety at 18 months. It's like he'll go to anyone with no fuss! Just today an elderly woman was talking to him at the store (he was in the shopping cart) and he lifts his arms up to her so she could pick him up!! I couldn't believe it, I was floored lol.
Anyone have a dc that didn't have stranger anxiety or had it start later??
None of my kids had it really. My oldest was the most reticent but he didn't really have anxiety of strangers. My daughter never met a stranger till about high school.
My son never really had it. There were a few times when he had a hard time at preschool drop-off, but that was it. He's 4 now.
Honestly, I think a lot of it (given that parents aren't instilling their own fears into the child) has to do with their own personality. I had one child at the opposite end of the spectrum who, starting at 3 months would totally FREAK OUT about people she wasn't familiar with and even when a bit older would start screaming when someone would look her in the eyes - until she got used to them. I had to even tell people coming into our house to at first not LOOK at her, and I gave her time to let her SEE me go up and hug the person. (She did grow out of it). I am just saying, there is a bell curve, and with those on either end of it, it may be "normal" and it might not be.
I know the fear - does your child have some attachment disorder? Does my child have autism? Well... sometimes it is just a natural personality.
But I would not teach "stranger danger"! When young, they need to feel secure and confident! It is OUR responsibility to protect them!
My first daughter is now almost 5. She NEVER had stranger anxiety. She sat in the cart at 6 months of age would squeal for attention, and then happily smile for more attention. When she was a toddler, she would talk to anyone. There has only been a few times that she shied away from a stranger, but that was only recently....and I couldn't blame her! It's totally her personality.
My youngest daughter is 2 1/2. She doesn't like anyone! Occasionally I can get her to say good-bye or wave. If someone asks her anything, she refuses to answer. Again, personality.
My girls definitely had stranger anxiety. My son not so much. He mainly went through the "I don't like Daddy' phase. But your son is really on the end of the friendly spectrum.
My husband's a security freak, and lectured our son a lot about stranger danger. So I think that killed his outwardly friendliness towards strangers. Fast forward, he's now a well-loved and respected kid at school by both teachers, staff and students.
It's your son's personality. Also, I think it has to do with you not acting neurotic about people around him. Some moms (especially first time moms) can instill fear in their children, and then it's hard for the kids to get past it.
Don't worry about this - just be sure to stick close by and enjoy the personality your little guy has!
Dawn
I have four kids, none of them have ever shied away from anyone at any time. If I could have found that band of gypsies they would have gladly joined.
I sometimes think kids that are scared of strangers have parents that are cautious. All my friends are like me, all their kids are like mine, ya know?
My son was like that for a while. Now that he's a little older, he still doesn't have stranger or seperation anxiety at all, but you can tell when a new person comes around he'll kind of look at me for reassurance then look at the person. He'll do this a few times before he starts smiling and interacting.
My daughter had some of it between 18 months and 2 years...she outgrew it just after turning 2. Mostly though she went through a "I don't like Grandma" phase at that age (my mother) and then she is still weird around very elderly people (like my grandmother) at age 5. She's very outgoing and friendly though otherwise.
