Night Time

my suggestion is try an evening "routine"
around the same time every nite we do the cereal feeding then i give him a warm bath and then get him in P.J.'s and as he is drinking his last bottle of the nite he usually starts to close his eyes...i still hold him for about 20-30 mins more then i put him in his crib.
he sleep from 8pm til 7am with an occassional cry in the nite but i pat his back or bottom for a few mins and then he is fine.
we used to let him sleep in bed with us,which is a bad idea(they really do need their own space) until he was 4 months old and he would always wake up and start crying really hard.
i just started the "routine" with him each nite when we moved him into his crib. i hope this helps.

Hi C.,
I have 4 children, they are my life and i think i can help you on that one, although some people have other beliefs, my youngest is now 7 months, she has been sleeping in her crib comfortably since we came home from the hospital, she now sleeps all night from about 10a till 7a, and thats because i have to wake her up to go to the sitter sometimes she even sleeps till 9am on weekends. Babies are all about habit, the earlier they get into a habit the better, in your case i went through with my other daughter, she was already 2 months and i had created bad habits for her, thanks to my mother who helped me out. If she is not hungry, wet, or has a gas, i left her in her crib till she fell asleep. the first day she cried for about half hour, the second for 20 minutes the third for 15 and ever since then she would sleep all night all by herself. it was bed time i would put her down, turn off the light and leave the room, she was out like a light. Never was a problem ever since. I was very grateful and thats why i made sure my youngest daughter wouldn't have to get to that point. Of course sometimes they have their days, and there are exceptions. if she fusses and you carry her and rock her then she will think that by fussing she will get what she wants, remember a child is born with zero habits and doesn't know anything, they only know what you show them and teach them. Hope this helps, trust me its not easy but it will pay off in the end for both you and her. I think thats the best remedy, yes the whole cuddly thing is necessary but when the time is right,there is a time for everything but i feel a child needs to learn at an early age that bed time is bed time, you can feed her and maybe stay with her a little bit after, but once those lights go out she has to know its time to sleep ALONE. If this is your first its hard, my first slept with me till he was 4, what a mistake, if i had known then what i know now, but the first always breaks all the rules.
Good Luck!!

I think you'll just have to hang there for a while longer my dear. My son didn't sleep through the night until 8 1/2 months. Some parents are much luckier though. And usually we'd rock him and he'd fall asleep, but then would wake up when put down in his crib. We'd pat him on the back in his crib which seemed to help. I have always played music when he goes to sleep. And you need to try and let him cry for 15-30 minutes. Eventually she will get the idea and will go to sleep. Good luck!

I fail to see a problem...your child needs/wants you. I think snuggle time before sleep is a wonderful family time. Lay the child in your bed and read aloud to her or even to your hubby. Doesn't matter what is read. It is a routine, a family time and important. My son, who is 4, snuggles with me everynight! I wouldn't change that time for anything! We both love it!

you will probably get many kinds of responses to your request...

my personal resonse: HOLD HER!!! this will not last until she gets to college! enjoy that baby!!!

one thing about babies: just when you think you've figured them out, they change on you ;)

so hold her and enjoy her beautiful tiny perfection!

soon she will let you know that she doesn't 'need' to be held to go to sleep & then you'll find something else that works.

the time goes by soooo fast- it sounds like a cheesey cliche- but it's so true! before you know it they are close to 4yrs old & telling you "no kisses! no hugs! I don't like them!"

Enjoy your Babymoon :-)

HOLD her as much as you can.. my babyboy is now 10 months old, and he adores to go to sleep next to me, and on my husband's arms as well.. Sometimes, we treat him to sleep with us on our bed and he loves it....

Also, he may be 10 months old, but he refuses to be held for too long, he wants to crawl and cruise all over the place, so enjoy it... I remember everyone told me don't hold him, let him cry as he will soothe himself to sleep, you going to spoil him.. blah blah.. my ped told me hold him as much as you want.. and I Do.. and we love it

Hey C.,
I definately agree with the other mothers! HOLD HOLD HOLD that baby tight as long as she'll let you. My son is now 2 and 1/2 and VERY independant. If you try to hold him to go to sleep, he wiggles and wiggles, so what we do now is I lay down next to him, read him a story, kiss him goodnight, and leave... he wants to go to sleep by himself. I really really miss just sitting in a rocking chair for 20 or 30 minutes snuggling with him. :-)
Good luck!
Kat

This sound harsh but you and your husband will need to just let her cry it out - "Tough Love". We had the same problem with our second son and did the "tough love". He's now three years old and doing great.

My daughter is 6 weeks and I seem to be having the same issue. During the day she is very good, independent only fusses when it is time for her feeding, I work from home which helps me tremendously. But as soon at 6:00pm comes around, she starts fussing. Doesn't want to me in her swing, her bassinet, on my bed, nothing she just wants to be in my arms till about 10:00PM where she falls asleep and I can finally put her down. I have a six year old and a two year old and I did not have this problem with them. I am hoping she grows out of it, so my advice is maybe your baby will grow out of it too. Hang in there, it will get better. Before you know it, she will be pulling away from you not wanting you to hold her.

C.,

I am a mother of 3 and I did the same thing with all 3, it might sound a little harsh, but you will be thankful after a couple of weeks. Just lay her down in her bed and let her cry herself to sleep. The first few nights and nap times might seem a little stressful with all the crying but you will soon see that she will realize that the crying won't get her anywhere and she will cry less and less each day that passes and after a couple of weeks, she will probably not even whimper. Just make sure you don't lay her down with any type of bottle, containing juice, milk or formula cause it will sit in her mouth all night and can begin to decay her teeth that are still in her gums. I helped my sister with this very same thing with her daughter when she was 6 months old and it only took her 3 nights to learn, so it may not take too long. I would always take long showers so I couldn't hear the crying....I was one clean mama! I would also advise reading the book called Baby Wise. Very good information and they recommend the self soothing technique as well. All my kids sleep through the night and go right to sleep when I lay them down. It just makes things so much easier and everyone is more relaxed . Hope this helps, and remember, tough love!
M.

C., I say breathe in the joy of her needing you at night. You will be soon away from her during the day. Her nights with you will be precious and you won't want to lose them. How do you go to sleep best? Snuggled close to the man you love? Don't you notice when he is absent from you? Do you love him and like him close? Well...sorry,but our children love us ever so much more than that. You can read more about mothers and sleep by googling for James McKenna Sleep Institute and maybe when you are finished understanding the biology of mother/infant sleep you will understand how very very smart your child really is!

Take care
P.

just hold her there is nothing wrong with that.ihave 3 kids that i held untill they fell a sleep and they are fine my youngest is 17mon old and i'm going to have another on in the next few weeks. i plan to holg this little one too.

Hi C. K,
I have a three month old son. I was having trouble getting him to go to bed. I have a routine with him now. I give him a bath then a bottle and he fusses for a little then falls asleep. Try letting her fuss for a while if she starts screaming for more than 20 minutes go in and try to calm her down but try not to pick her up unless you have to. This is what I did and it worked.

C. S.

Hi C.,
My daughter Natasha at the age of 4-10 months was colicky after 4pm- till she fell asleep. Nothing settled her, I tried nursing, music, bouncing, swinging- everything. The only thing that would settle her was my husband or I holding her till she cried herself to sleep, and she would cry for hours.

I was frantic for answers, my husband and I were on the verge of a nervous breakdown, we turned to our Pediatrician for help. Our Dr. suggested establishing a good nighttime routine around her fussy period, give her an early dinner, bath, another bottle or nurse, then have her in bed by 6 pm. Make her room cool, very dark and have soothing music or some type of white noise in the background at bedtime. We did this and she still cried, but our Dr. told us to allow her to cry in her crib and every 10-15 minutes, go in w/out turning on the lights and with minimal talking, pick her up, soothe her, rock her for 5-10 minutes, and then put her back to bed. Also, to continue to allow her to cry and to do the 10-15 minute check in until she fell asleep. Well, we did this for about 2 weeks, till one day after her usual bed time routine, I put her down at 6:30-7pm, she cried 5 minutes and was asleep till 6am the next morning.

My daughter Natasha is now 3 yrs. old and has no issues going to bed, except now we can't get her to go to sleep by 7pm, it is more like 8pm :) We still have the same type of bed time routine, but we cut the music thing and read books instead.

I don't know if this is something you would like to try. I do know it wasn't instant relief for us, but we established a good nighttime routine and eventually she learned to settle herself to sleep.

Please let me know how things worked out for you. I would love to hear back from you. I now have a second child, another girl- 1 month old. So far, she is a dream baby, sleeps and eats. Hopefully she continues to be so easy. Sincerely, R.

Seriously you should listen to the ladies who suggest you HOLD her! I know from experience that it being your first everything seems overwhelming and your afraid that if you don't nip it in the bud now, you will be paying for it later. I now regret not taking advantage of more cuddle time with my 2 1/2 year old daughter. I didn't make that mistake twice though. I'm enjoying every moment with my younger daughter!! Believe me there is light at the end of the tunnel of every difficult stage, it's just hard to see it the first time around!!

C. K,

Get the book "On Becoming Babywise, Vol.1" by Ezzo and Bucknam.

It is the most awesome baby-guide on the planet and VERY affordable.....about $12.

It teaches you how to teach your child to sleep thru the night, how to teach babies sign language before they can talk, how many naps they should be taking at what age.....you name it. I called it my "baby bible".

This book saved my life. It's available at any major bookstore.

Good luck!
L.

Hi C.,
I think sleep is the number one problem we all have with our kids-esp at first!
If you want your child to fall asleep on their own, then you have to teach them to, if you want your child to need you to hold them to fall asleep, then continue to do so, but be warned and think ahead--do you want to continue to do this until they are 2 or older? Also the longer you wait to make the change, the harder the change will be for the child. As long as you keep doing what you are doing at bed and nap time, then your daughter will get accustomed to that and continue to want/need that to fall asleep. She is still very young though-so helping her learn how to fall asleep on her own, should not take very long-but it is a learning process where she needs to learn how to get to sleep on her own.

Our son was exactly the same way--except he wouldn't sleep in his crib at all-as soon as I put him down even if he fell asleep on me, he would wake up! The thing that helped me sooo much was following the ideas in the book: the Secrets 0f the Baby Whisperer How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with your baby by Tracy Hogg http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Baby-Whisperer-Connect-Comm...
Its such a great resource for devising a great bedtime and nap routine for your child and helping them learn to fall asleep on their own. My son is two now and when it is bed or nap time, he just lays down to sleep and without any fussing---after just using her ideas for a couple of days we saw immediate results with him sleeping longer (and pretty much started when he was about 12 weeks-so you are right there).
Finally decide what you want to do based on your family needs--whether you continue to hold your child or teach your child to fall asleep on their own will not affect them psychologically or do any damage (just ask your pediatrician). But it does need to work for your family, and based on the fact that you are asking for help makes me think you want this to change...
Good luck!

i did the cry it out approach with all three of mine. you can research this online and learn the minute intervals. i also had a music box that hung on the crib. this one played different classical songs, but having the music playing in the crib seemed to help with the cry it out approach. and if i remember right, you can start the cry it out approach at the age of 3 months. good luck.