Newborn Due Soon - How Do I Get This One to Sleep? Please Read.

Updated on September 17, 2009
M.O. asks from Barrington, IL
5 answers

I think we all as parents do SOMETHING to "screw up" our kids. Mine is not having good sleepers, especially from birth - age 2. I have read a bunch of books. I have tried cry it out, being regimented about napping and bedtimes, having a bedtime routine, blah blah blah.

Essentially the problems we have is frequent night waking, and as a baby, not being able to self soothe, they don't know HOW to get back to sleep. I really don't want to "screw this one" up. HELP!

How do I get a newborn, who is breastfeeding to start on the right path, and stay on it? Usually we have the baby sleep in a cradle in our bedroom at night, so I don't have to get up to breastfeed. This lasts until about two-three months old, then we switch to the crib, in the nursery (no siblings in the same room). I have nursed for the first 6 mos. - including "on demand" - so whenever the baby is hungry morning, noon and all night.

I am so "scared" I'm going to screw this one up too. I can't bear the thought of sleep deprivation for 2 years! Help!

Pacifier? No paci? Rigid feeding schedule? I need your advice.

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D.K.

answers from Chicago on

I don't have any good advice except to say, don't beat yourself up. I beat myself up over my daughter's inabilibty to sleep well as a baby and toddler. I now have a 5 month old son who sleeps wonderfully and I did nothing different. I think that some kids are just programmed to sleep well than others are not. My daughter is now 3 and falls asleep at night by herself and (most nights) sleeps all night, from 8 pm to 6 am. I won't tell you how we did it because we tried everything and it was very stressful and to be totally honest, I think it was all useless and she just had to mature enough to be comfortable by herself and to realize she needed and wanted to sleep.

My son on the other hand has slept great since the day we brought him home. He can fall asleep on his own in his crib and other than waking up to eat, he stays asleep on his own. When he wakes up we hear him on his monitor babbling, but doesn't scream for someone to be there with him immediately.

So, I don't know if this is all that helpful since I know it is stressful, but please don't think it is because you did something wrong.

Good Luck,
D.

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

try using the Baby Whisperer's EASY method for a schedule, and the Happiest Baby on the Block 5 s's method. Those two combined will make cio not be a needed thing (at that age)
EASY - when the baby wakes up it Eats. After you feed it, then it has Activity - bouncy seat, tummy time, sitting up and playing with toys, swing, exersaucer, etc. When the baby gets fussy check the B's - boredom, butt or burp. If it's none of those then off to Sleep. Don't wait for the baby to do more than get the tiniest bit fussy, then see what is causing the fusses - if it's just that they needed their diaper change do that, but if it's not the activity is boring, the butt is dirty or they have to burp, then put them down. This may happen after as short as 45 minutes, don't freak, it really means they are tired.
Now, to get them to sleep use the 5 s's. Swaddle the baby, hold the baby on their side and sway as they suck on something (paci, your knuckle or their finger/thumb) and make a shush noise. This will calm your baby. When the baby is calm, but not asleep yet, keeping them swaddled lay them in the bed. I like to pat them instead of sway after a minute or two cause you can still pat after they are put down but you can't sway, so pat the baby and continue patting gradually decreasing it as you put them in the bed. Also continue the shushing as you put them down, again gradually getting quieter.
If you do these two you will find a well rested, easily managed baby in no time.

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K.

answers from Chicago on

We all find what works for us, so all I can tell you is what worked for me (I have 2 kids age 15 months and 3, both are good sleepers)....
First 12 weeks. Do what you have to. For me, this meant co-sleeping w/ Arms Reach Co-Sleeper (though honestly, most nights my baby ended up in bed next to me part way through). I moved my son into his own crib at 14 weeks of age. My daughter (#2) slept with us until about 7 months old, partly b/c we have a 2 bdrm place and she would have to share a room w/ brother.

Once my baby "moved out" I generally gave her (I'll talk about my daughter for now, since that's newer in my memory) a couple minutes of fussing before responding to nurse at night. For bedtime I would nurse, sing a special bedtime song, and lay her down. She might be asleep or not. She often took a paci, but not always. She has a lovey that she snuggles with that I started laying with her at around 3 months of age.

Around 10 months of age I did a bit of sleep training - at that point we were down to about 1 feeding per night. Then around 12 months I moved her in to share a bedroom with her brother (before she was in the crib but in our room) and if she woke up at night and it wasn't at least 4:00 AM I would send my husband in to lay her back down instead of me going in. Since then she has pushed back that morning wake up and usually sleeps from 7:30 until 6:45 or so. She still nurses morning and night.

I would NOT do a rigid feeding schedule - this is bad for your baby and can be bad for breastfeeding. Pacifier if your baby wants it. My son wasn't into it, my daughter likes it ok.

For feeding, feed on demand, but I would encourage baby to eat a good meal instead of snacking. You might consider "block" feeding after your milk supply gets established. This is where you'd feed 2x in a row off each breast, which can allow your baby to get more of the fatty hindmilk, which will stick with him longer. Keep in mind that you can give your baby seconds, thirds, even fourths (keep switching sides) if he is going through a growth spurt.

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

Please stay away from the Babywise book. The AAP and many pediatricians have come out against Ezzo, so be warned.

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

Have you read the book "On Becoming Babywise"? It really worked for us. We put our son on a feeding schedule and he was sleeping 7 hours a night by the time he was 8 weeks old and 10 hours a night by the time he was 12 weeks old. He only napped for about 30 minutes 3 times a day though. I know this book gets a bad "rap" because some people were sticking so rigidly to the schedule, they weren't feeding their children and they were having problems with failure to thrive. But the book tells you to feed your child if they are hungry, and then try to get them back on their schedule as soon as possible. My son is still a great sleeper to this day. We just had our daughter 3 weeks ago and are doing the same method. She went through a couple of days last week where I fed her on demand to get my milk supply up and then put her back on the schedule again. She has already gained over a pound and is doing great. Everyone I talk to about this book has similar results to what I had with my son. If you have any more questions, please send me a message. Good luck!

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