New Sibling Due to Arrive - Ideas for Adjusting for 2-Year Old?

Congrats J.! I have a 2 mo. old and a 23 mo. old so I know exactly how you are feeling!

The gift is a great idea. We actually brought a couple of gifts to the hospital- some small things (a stuffed kitty, some books). So when my 21 mo. old came to the hospital to see mommy I was not holding the baby (some people had recommended leaving the baby in the bassinet at that time) and I had her crawl right up on my bed to give me a hug- then I gave her a couple of presents- one from the baby, one from me. You can also do the slide thing a couple of days later (quite frankly, at that age I don't think they care if the presents are "from" the baby or you as long as there are presents!! LOL).

There are also a couple of great picture books about bringing a new baby home- We got "I'm a Big Sister" by Joanna Cole - our daughter loved the book and loves it even more now that the baby is here- if you do a search on Amazon on "big brother" or "big sister" you'll find a handful of great picture books.

All that said- there were some tantrums and still are on some days, but the adjustment has gone really well for us- SO much better than I had expected and I hope it will for you too. Our older one loves to give her sister kisses, put her paci in her mouth, get diapers for mommy, etc.- anyway they can be helpful, let them help! I had painted a much worse scenario in my mind than we actually had-

congratulations!
my children are a little less than three years apart. when i came home from the hospital i went into the house first with my husband following behind carrying the baby. this way i was able to focus all my attention on my daughter, then together we went to see the baby. i also brought her a new 'baby' of her own.
try not to show any nervousness when your 2yr old goes to touch the new baby. just gently remind to be 'nice' or whatever word you choose so they're not too rough. i also let my daughter hold the baby as soon as she asked to. when it came time to breastfeed the baby, my daughter would occasionally sit up on my lap at the same time, to 'help". :)
you might also find something special for Talon to do since he's now a big brother. a new playgroup? activity? that is special to him and does not include the baby.
there were times, i admit, i did find the need to tell my older one that she'd have to wait a minute because i was doing something with baby, but i really tried hard to keep that at a minimum. and, if i was busy with her then i would tell the baby he had to wait a minute. yes, i know, babies don't understand that, however,my older one did and appreciated not being pushed back in line everytime the baby squeaked.
good luck! your heart is going to explode with love and joy!!

I would not, personally, purchase any gifts for the little boy.
He is getting a sibling, yes? That in itself is quite a present.
I am very leary of all the rewarding and gifting given to little children for basic good behavior , manners, life itself.
All you mums should stop and think of the precedents you are establishing in your children. Will they grow up thinking life owes them rewards for acting normally?
Will they be traumatized when they realize life does NOT reward them for every simple little thing they do?
Your praise and approval should be sufficient motivation for them to want to strive for goodness.
Two years difference in ages can expect some jealousy but if you handle it swiftly, consistently, kindly, firmly, it should not be a problem.
You could boost him up with the big brother pep talk..how you will need him to help with the baby and chores now that he is a big brother..how he can teach the new baby how to do things, how he can have someone to play with now..ect ect. How happy you are to have him be big enough to help you.
You could put it into words he can understand...How it may be hard for him to see Mommy tending the new baby so much..BUT this was how you cared for him when he was a tiny baby...you will figure it out I am sure..
Have him watch Calliou on PBS..he has a little sister, Rosie and seems to be a good role model for little ones expecting a sister or brother.
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

Hi J.,

Congrats on the new baby! The sibling adjustment was my biggest concern when my second daughter was born, too. The girls are 2 years and 4 months apart. I think the best thing I did was not to push the baby on my older daughter. I let her interact with the baby, or choose not to interact with her, at her own pace. She pretty much ignored the baby for a couple of months, but she's come around and now the girls are really close. I actually heard my oldest tell the baby yesterday "You're my best friend!" The greatest thing has been watching them together, and watching this loving, caring, nurturing side come out in my spitfire of a girl! So basically I think I'd say just give them enough room to let them develop their own relationship, with just enough guidance to make sure no one gets hurt! Best of luck!

Hi J.
Congrats on the new arrival due soon.
I was given advice 24 years ago -just before my second son was born-the older son being two.
I was told to put my son Daniel's picture on the new baby's bassinette in the hospital (we called them Crash cart's!!) so he could identify HIS baby. (Otherwise they all look alike to a two year old)
I was also told to have him bring the baby a present that he picked out and wrapped.
Another important thing was when I came home from the hospital, have someone else carry the baby when I first saw him (whether it be at home or at the hospital) so I had all my attention on him.
It always helps to have small jobs for him to do. (help get the wipes when changing the baby, hold the washcloth-just things that make him feel important.
Also-enjoy this baby-don't feel guilty that you won't be able to love him the way you do your first. It will be different-but awesome in its own right.
Some advice stands the test of time!
J. H

Hi J.,
A big brother gift is a great idea, as is the slide. Many places (maybe even the hospital gift shop) have those 'I'm the Big Brother' t-shirts. The baby doll is an awesome idea! I had a friend have quads right after her daughter's 2nd bday and she had 4 small baby dolls (soft bodied, but rubber head, arms and legs) in the same sex as the coming 4 babies)that she practiced with before her new siblings arrived [and it was weeks before they could come home]. And she, the big sister, became mommy's helper, fetching diapers, burp rags, rattles, etc and 'helping' at times to supervise feeding and bath times. Also constant reassurance, that loves grows and while a new baby takes alot of time, that doesn't mean you love it more than him. And make sure that everytime your newborn gets a gift that your son does not. (a little bit goes a long way and too much is a bad thing!)Remind him that you got alot of things for him when he was born and that is why this is happening with your new baby. And give him his own 'mom time' as much as you can, even if it's a 10 minute bedtime story, so he knows that is 'his' time.
You'll be fine!! W. Huff

Congratulations! My sone was exactly 2 1/2 when my daughter was born and it was an adjustment for all. We also had the new baby give a gift to our son. He also got the 'Big Brother' t-shirt. of course we continued to shower him with as much love & affection as ever, although of course it became increasingly challenging. One thing that was (and still is) hugely important to me was having our time at bedtime - story time & snuggles before bed. I made it a priority to always read to him and have our time, especially in those first few weeks, etc. when the baby seems particularly demanding, etc. I also let my son hold the baby, which meant having him sit, helping him get the right hold and being right there to prevent any accidents! We were always telling him what a good big bro he is when he would sing to her, comfort her, fetch things for me to care for her, etc. We also told him often how lucky the baby was to have such a wonderful big brother. We had a great Big brother book as well that was great.

I am happy to say that 12 months later, my kids are BEST buddies. They adore each other - it is the most amazing thing to watch!!! It is a hard adjustment from 1 kid to 2 (although IMO not as hard as from 0 to 1 kid!), but it works! Good luck!! Have fun!!

I am dealing with this exact situation. My oldest turned two 5 days after the new baby was born. I did the gift from the baby and I also had him pick out a gift for the baby, I chose a lovey so that it would be something he would see with the baby on a daily basis. We also planned an outing for mommy daddy and him to give him some special time. My oldest is also part of all of the routines. He shakes the bottles after I make them, he gets the diaper for me out of the stacker, he helps to pick out the baby's clothes, he sits on a stool next to me during bath time and floats a rubber ducky in the bath tub so that the baby has a toy to play with and the other night when I brought out the baby toys we had stored, I let him pick out the toys he thought his brother would like. He got to chose if it was a Teegan toy or a Caleb toy, he gave all the toys to his brother. It's not always perfect, there are times when he wants mommy, but I am not available. We are only one month in and it is definitely a lot easier than I thought it was going to be!

If you get any good advice let me know. I was going to post the same thing. good luck

You mentioned you're excited about the Sunny Spring coming to stay ! : ) Me too, it's time for us moms to get out there to the park, on a walk with the stroller, I have a double stroller, you may want to invest in one perhaps, it makes things a lot easier to bring them both out . Spend as much time as you can with your older son, when you find the time. It will be tiring for you at first, especially the first month. Try to make bottle feeding time special, he can hold the bottle with your help. Or while the baby is in a baby gym playing, color with your other son. Draw a picture yourself of your two sons with mommy and daddy in the picture and show and explain to him how he is part of the family in a very special way, he was the first one that made the family get started and as he grows and may feel left out at times, try to remember yes he is still a child and just give him lots of love, hugs and kisses every day !
Enjoy them both !! Good Luck with your labor .

I bought a bunch of small gifts for my older child. Whenever someone gave a gift to the new baby and didn't have anything for her I would make sure she got one of those gifts so she didn't feel left out. It worked great.