New Mom Lack of Sleep Trouble Adjusting

K.,

Don't fret it is all part of the adjusting period. All new parents go though it. hang in there. It will be ok.

The best advice I received with my first child was to sleep when the baby sleeps. I know this seems hard at first, but eventually the two of you will adjust.

You may want to try listening to some relaxing music and/or soak in a hot bath. Try to get relaxed and then lay down during the day and try to nap when she does. I TOTALLY understand the lack of patience when you are tired. Do you have a husband that can help with a night changing or feeding, if you don't nurse? Our boys are adopted and I did the "adopted nursing" thing but if I was overly tired I would have my honey get up and give the baby a bottle. I would still be awake, because I am a worrier, but I was resting in bed so that helped some.

Just remember it doesn't last that long. Hang in there. Mentally prep yourself for a while longer and before you know it, she'll be sleeping thru the night.

hang in there!

Welcome to motherhood. My best advice is just sleep when your baby sleeps. You need to get your rest. Have your husband help you. Men need to get involved to.

Good Luck,
Elisa

K.,
You've gotten some great suggestions to try. Here is my 2 cents worth: Try to watch or read, The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp. He has some great suggestions for calming your baby during what he calls the "fourth trimester" Every new tool you add to your toolbox is another trick to try when nothing seems to work. It does get better! Keep on truckin' you're doing great!

Hi, K..
Hang in there because this part is only temporary. I always thought this was one of the hardest parts of becoming a new mother. I have been through it twice and I can tell you it's hard to be patient when you are completely drained but it's all part of motherhood. Everything you are used to (meaning life without children) changes because now you are on call 24/7---even when your babies grow. Just know that they do get adjusted at some point and your sleep schedules will match up. Go with the flow because it is what it is. Newborns are newborns and their little bodies are adjusting to being out into the world. Stick to your feeding schedule (as much as you can) and try not to put too much pressure on yourself. It will only stress you out more. Enjoy these little moments too because they fly!

Good luck.
M.

every mom goes through this. It's important to get help so that you can relax and get some sleep during the day. It's impossible to think we can stay up all night with a newborn and then function normally without sleep during the daytime!

If you don't have friends or family who can come help during the daytime, taking the baby so you can sleep, you might want to consider a postpartum doula. Doulas can come, either daytime or night, depending on your wishes and help with baby care, your care, food preparation, laundry, housework, and in general, help you with all those things around the house. doulas can take the baby for a while so you can rest. Not knowing what area you live in, I can't give you a referral, but if you're interested, let me know and I'd be happy to put you in touch with several PP doulas who could help you out.
Good luck
Shelley Scotka
____@____.com
Childbirth Educator
Birth and Postpartum doula
Breastfeeding Assistance

Hi K.,

I found it horribly difficult getting used to the sleep interruptions, and mostly what I have for you is the promise it will get better. On the other hand, be alert to the possibility of post-partum depression -- it is REALLY common, and it can easily be missed even by the woman suffering from it because the inner need to keep going, keep going, keep going, is so powerful in the early days, and others may seem to have the same expectation of you -- I kind of got the impression that my family, both my husband and my extended family, didn't want to hear about it -- they just wanted me to suck it up and keep on keepin' on. Anyway, be aware of that and if you have ANY concern that you may be suffering from any kind of depression or anxiety (not being able to sleep when tired can be a symptom of either one), talk to a doctor or a counselor, please! If you don't think that's a problem, B vitamins help with exhaustion -- I found taking a B complex supplement (ideally the kind you spray under your tongue) to help a lot. Beyond that, the other thing that helped, other than asking for help with childcare when I needed it, and especially asking for company so that I didn't feel so isolated and heavily burdened, was just knowing that this is a phase. It seems to go on forever when you're in it, but it is over in the blink of an eye -- oh, and also I found that I did adjust to waking up to do what my child needed and getting back to sleep again without it being such a big deal. Not everyone DOES adjust to being woken at night, and I still (at six years old) don't LIKE it, but I don't feel nearly as upset as i used to, and I think that adjustment started to happen for me at maybe 3-4 months -- it just stopped feeling like torture. I'm also sure folks will mention that you have total permission to change sleeping arrangements to maximize sleep for yourself -- you can sleep with the baby in your bed if that helps, get the baby out of your bed and into a bassinette or another room if that helps -- early motherhood is SO difficult, I hope you'll both remind yourself that it won't be this way for long, and also give yourself permission to make it as manageable as you can. be sure to ask for lots of help -- even when I asked and soemone couldn't help in the way i requested, I still felt better just for having asked, for doing something to try to take care of myself. I at least didn't feel like I was suffering in silence.

much love!
M.

I totally feel your tiredness! I love my sleep and I am one of these people that needs a full 8 hours! So the newborn times with both my kids was the hardest for me too. I never co slept with my kids because I couldn't relax enough to fall asleep. I was too scared of rolling on them. I move around a lot and felt as tired as I was I might be hard to wake up if I did go out. So I used a bassinet for the first 3 months. However, if baby ws fussy one night, I changed it up. Mine have fallen asleep in the bassinet to awake to go back to sleep in the bouncy seat with vibration then onto the swing. I say do whatever works for her at the time. I swaddled, used a heated rice bag on the tummy (great trick BTW if they are colicky or gassy). I use a white noise machine so If I did get up to go to the bathroom, then they wouldn't hear it. Never did one thing work all the time with my kids. Be flexible. I just found it important to start them out where you ultimately want them in the long run. They will eventually find their nitch and be sleeping solidly soon. With my daughter who we adopted, I found feeding her at 10:00pm then putting her down was best. I would get up at 2:00am then at 6:00am for the day. So there wasn't a lot of getting up once I got her on a schedule with her feedings. They were every four hours. Started out 2 oz the 3 oz then 4 oz, but I kept the feedings every 4 hours. That worked for her. My son I breastfed and he had to eat every 2 hours no matter what I did. That was so exhausting! I never turned on any lights for night feedings, but purchased little night lights for the kitchen and diaper changing area so I could get everything done without turning on lights. This helped the kids not to really wake up completely and while I woke up, it helped to go back to sleep easier too. I always changed them first then gave them a bottle at night that way they were sleepy from the bottle and would go back down quicker with dry bottom and full belly. With my daughter, I had it down to 8 minutes for everything. I had water in bottle ready to go and formula container right beside. I would get up and mix bottle when I heard her begin to rustle around. Never really waited for her to start crying out. Then I would pick her up and tkae her to change her diaper. I didn't talk a lot because I didn't want to engage her or wake her up. Sometimes I would hum a little song like rock a bye. Then I would feed her, burp, and put her back down. Most of the time she would never even open her eyes. Try to stay relaxed. Remember flexible is the key. There is no right or wrong way only what works for you and your little one. Good luck and congrats.

oh i remember those days! hardest time of my life! my advice is, keep reminding yourself that this is a short period of time in your life and it'll pass...and also your negative energy will be felt by the baby, so try to just live in the moment and let go of the negativity...it'll be better for both of you! good luck-you'll survive like the rest of us:)

one thing you must remember is that she can sense your frustration and that will frustrate her. So maybe if you can keep calm and just go with the flow for a few nights she will settle in and sleep better for you. Just a suggestion. Same as when you are upset about something, notice that she will act up in those times. Children have that sixth sense. God bless.

These 1st weeks are sometimes the hardest. Take advantage of any and every chance you get to sleep. When she naps, you nap--don't do household stuff, it can wait, you need to be at your best to take care of her. When she's fussy at night, have tried turning on a blow dryer or a vacuum cleaner? Sounds crazy I know but it mimics the sounds in the womb and sometimes it helps the little ones to get to sleep. And of course, no caffiene for you, make sure you're still taking your vitamins, your body is still recovering from this wonderful event. If you need someone to talk to call me, ###-###-####, M.

First, it will get better, keep that in mind. Second, I learned a few hard lessons with my first which I corrected with my second. Co-sleeping with the baby for the first 8 weeks will help. My first I tried to have in a seperate moses basket next to my bed and he woke up lots. With my second I set up a seperate pallet (matress from a pull-out sofa bed) on the floor in his room. He and I would sleep on the floor in there together. I wasn't worried about him "rolling off" as I was 4 inches off the ground, it was large enough once he was awake I could move away and not worry too much about "rolling on him" (not that that is a problem but it is something many new moms fear), and he was comforted by the fact I was there and slept better. I never had to worry about jumping awake, what was wrong, I was there. When he woke up, I changed him, laid back down and nursed him to sleep (frequently dozing off myself). When he was out I would scoot away keeping my head near his and we would fall asleep easy.

Now, of course there were still a few nights where he would have a 2 hour alert period in the middle and I would be exhausted or need to call the hubby in for reinforcements, but it worked much better than the first time around. Around 8 weeks I slowly weaned him to sleeping in a crib while I slept in the room, putting him down for his first section of sleep in the crib and building up to all of the sections by 11 weeks. At 12 weeks I moved back to my own room and bed.

Last, take post-partum depression risk as real. I went in to get tested with my first and they told me it was only an average case of the baby blues. I was stunned that that was all that was wrong, and thought how severe must post-partum be if I didn't qualify feeling as I did. But knowing what was going on helped, also knowing that it would pass. You will have moments that you wonder about what a horrible mother you are, wonder why you had kids (even if you wanted one desperately), and will basically think you are the biggest failure ever. This is natural and typical for a first time parent, EVERYONE feels that way. Good luck and know you aren't alone.

By the way I have an almost 3 year old and a 14 month old.

My daughter is 5 weeks and has the same problem. This is what my doctor told me. During the day make sure to feed her every 3 hours, if I have to I wake her up. Then during the night she will sleep longer. She goes about 5-6 hours. He then said that if she didint fall asleep at night that I could put her in the swing and go to sleep. I wasnt sure about doing that but he told me that the more sleepy I get the worse it will be for her. Hopefully that helps some!!!

Also really just try to sleep when she does!!!

Congratulations on your new baby! I know being exhausted is very hard.

You might get some help during the day if you have friends/family/money to hire people. The less housekeeping, cooking and errands you have to worry about, the better you can focus on you & your baby.

Napping with the baby is very important. You might research some relaxation techniques, maybe even buy a CD, & put your worries out of your mind as best you can to get some rest. I know you know this & it's not working right now, but perhaps with some time & some help, you'll be able to. Also - if you're using caffeine at all that may completely wreck your ability to rest during the day or even at night.

If you're breastfeeding, it's too early to give her a bottle at night & let Daddy take a turn. And since this too shall pass, establishing a good milk supply is important enough to tough out this period until she is old enough to take a bottle of pumped milk. What Daddy can do now is any soothing and diaper changes. Do a little research online or in your baby books & make sure he knows everything you know about things to try to soothe her. One of the important aspects of Attachment Parenting is nighttime parenting, so I think you may find some good info on it (and high need babies, if she's especially fussy) at askdrsears.com .

Co-sleeping made my son's first year so much easier than I thought possible. I nursed him on my side & barely woke to do it. You do have to be very careful, but co-sleeping can be very safe. If you're not comfortable with her in your bed, consider a co-sleeper, which attaches to your bed so she is in arm's reach. I'd be happy to share more info on either of these.

One thing I would absolutely advise against is cry-it-out. CIO actually causes brain damage, in addition to damaging your baby's trust in you. Dr. Sears explained on the Dr. Phil show: “When a baby screams for 10, 20 minutes, or a half-hour night after night, what actually happens to the baby's brain?" asks Dr. Bob Sears. "The blood pressure goes up. The pressure gets so high, new blood with oxygen can't flow into the brain. So the brain can be deprived of oxygen, you guys. And that's not all. It gets worse. The brain can be flooded with stress hormones, and we know that stress hormones can damage sensitive developing nerve tissue. So, night after night, weeks and weeks of crying can actually harm a baby's brain. That's why we encourage you both to respond to your maternal intuition..." Cry-it-out has become so ingrained in our society. But we are hard wired to do the oppposite. When our babies cry, hormones are released that make us want to respond to his cries. That's what we are supposed to do - respond.

A great book to read about baby sleep is "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I have heard good things about Dr. Jay Gordon's book. I really dislike "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" - the author desperatley needed an editor, and in my opinion it's a waste of time to read it.

Remember, babies are designed to wake frequently throughout the night to help prevent SIDS. It's a tough adjustment, but it will get easier to "sleep like a baby."

Good luck,
K. (Mama to Milo, 2.75)

Hi K. the firs thing I want to tell you is congrats and welcome. I imagine you are at home due to your early delivery. As a new mom you need lots and lots of rest try to get a family member or a friend to take care of the baby for a few hours and give yourself some time also I woul recomend for you to sleep when the baby sleeps I'm sure your baby will be sleeping through the night in no time.

It will get better. I know right now this stage seems like it is lasting forever but, she will get better and bigger. My baby is now 9 weeks old and I hated the first couple of weeks for the same reason. I have 3 other kids too so taking naps during the day isn't always achievable. The best advice I can give you is to hang in there and sleep as much during the day as possible. Try to take your baby outside during the daylight time. This will help her get her schedule straightened out plus the sun is good for you too. What helped me get through those first couple of weeks was getting comfortable in the recliner to nurse. I would fall asleep while she ate. We would both wake up for the 2nd feeding and then I would burp her and put her back in bed or take her to bed with me. I know some people frown on co-sleeping but that is the only thing that seems to work for me. I've done it with my 3 others and now do it with my baby. They seem to sleep longer when they are next to me plus it is easier to respond to her needs. However, I'm not a big co-sleeper when they are beyond 6 months of age because anything you do beyond 6 months becomes a habit that is hard to break for the baby. I promise you things will get better. And one day, you will look back and want to do it all over againg -that is the miracle of child birth.

Hello K.,
Hang in there it does get better. I went through the same thing right after my son was born. Here are some things you can do to help lack of sleep. When I did these it seemed to work for me. I usually tried to take at least one nap with him during the day. It was usually me on the couch and him in the bassinet that was next to me instead of being upstairs in the bed but it worked for a nap. Sometimes it was only about an hour but it helped to recharge me. I was still tired when I woke up at night but not as irritable. Also one of the best things I had gotten was a playmat, not sure if that is the name. You can get them at Target, they have the arches that go over the middle. But get the black and white with the red trim. I had taken a child psychology class back in college and found out that infants see in black and white until they are a month or so old and shapes with corners stimulated them more than bright colors or circles. When I would put my son on that mat he would be play for at least an hour or so and I would be able to get things done. There are different attachments that also go with it that make different sounds. This was the best toy he had as an infant and I knew the time that he would be on that mat or asleep any other time that was my time to clean or do laundry plus I had set the nap after "lunch" was the nap. It made things a little easier. Plus you don't want to get stressed or too irritable because your daughter will sense that and it will cause her to be stressed as well. Anytime you are feeding try to relax. I was a single mom with my son so it made it hard not to have someone else to take some of the load but if you have a husband talk to him about caring some of the load. If you are a single mother then feel free to get with me about getting through it by yourself. Good Luck
M.

If she's fussier at in the evening, she's probably not getting good enough naps during the day. Read "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg and she'll tell you exacty how to fix it!! Her books are awesome, very helpful, and totally practical. Good luck!

Sleep when baby sleeps! If anyone has offered to help you, take them up on it! If no one has offered, start asking. This was hard for me to do, but it is near impossible to do it all by yourself during those early weeks. I don't know if you are breast or bottle feeding, but if you are bottle feeding let someone else take over some of the night-time feedings if you can, so you get a longer stretch of sleep at night. If you are breastfeeding, then you MUST sleep when baby sleeps because if you don't get enough sleep you won't produce enough milk...leading to a hungry and fussy baby that won't sleep and neither will you (a vicious cycle). I have a 2 month old, no other children and I felt exactly the way you did at 2 weeks. It really does get better the more time goes by, I promise! I don't know how you feel about schedules, but once I got my son on one it was and is truly a lifesaver! After the first couple weeks, he gradually went to a 3 hour feeding schedule on his own. I also read the book Babywise, and follow some of what is in there. A lot of moms don't like that book (or putting baby on a schedule), but it has worked for me. You will just have to try different things and find what works for you! As for night-time fussiness, try it all. Singing, going outside, going for a drive, putting baby in car seat, putting baby in a baby swing, burping, the vent fan in bathroom, vacuum cleaner, etc. etc. You will be amazed at what you can come up with (and what works)! Hang in there, having a new baby is a HUGE adjustment and every new mom struggles at first. You will get used to it, it will get better. If you are having a hard time and not finding that you are feeling better, you may have post-partum depression. This happened to me. I would say that any "baby blues" or adjustment problems that last longer than 2-3 weeks would warrant a visit to the doctor for medication and/or counseling. Hang in there, you are a great mom!!

My first question would be, "Are you breastfeeding?". If you're not, try taking melatonin, you can find it in the vitamin aisle at your local pharmacy. It might even be safe if you're breastfeeding, but I don't know. Its naturally occuring...

Anyway, what it will do is allow you to get deeper sleep during the short durations you have to sleep. People who travel alot take it to minimize jet lag.

Try leaving her with a sitter sometime so you can get some sleep.

Oh sweetie, just hang in there and know that it will get better! I had some trouble with anxiety at night because I didn't know when my little boy would sleep. It is like the day would be OK but night would really push my limits. Plus I had a horrible migraine from my epidural, it was tough. But just like you I love my little baby sooooooo much and now he is a great sleeper. My best advice is go easy on yourself. Try to talk yourself to a good place when it gets rough. When he would cry etc. I would use words of endearment with him even in the middle of the night. You know like I would say "What it is it cupcake?" just for an example just to help myself remember my love for him. If you feel your heart racing or anxiety just breathe and try and calm down. She will sleep, at some point and so will you. Hang in there and congratulations on your new little one!!!!!!

I see you have recieved a lot of advice so I won't repeat all of those things, but I will say this-DO NOT GIVE A 2 WEEK OLD A DOSE OF BENADRYL-THERE ARE HORROR STORIES RELATED TO THIS. Besides, you should never give medication to a baby unless your ped okays it. Even if you did, a half dose is still way too much for someone that little! To all the moms: Please be VERY careful when giving advice such as this. To read more about this topic visit http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/09/02/earlyshow/healt...

Trust me I have three kids under he age of five and they have all been horrible sleepers so I feel your pain. But reaching out for help at this stage is the first step. Sleep deprivation has definitely taken its toll on me this time around. Good Luck!!

I did not read through all the replies, but I did see that someone has mentioned post-partum depression/anxiety. If the anxiety alone is interfering with your ability to sleep and it lasts longer than two more weeks, you might want to consider being evaluated. You always hear about post-partum depression, but the anxiety is not as well covered. I had quite a bit of anxiety with my first child...inability to sleep, obsessive thoughts, controlling behavior, the works! I remember not being able to "sleep when the baby sleeps" during the daytime...number one, I was too anxious and number two I had a baby who took frequent, short naps during the day...I would have had barely enough time to lay down and get comfortable much less fall asleep. Other than that, my number one recommendation is to learn how to nurse laying down! That was a lifesaver for me...during the day I would be able to doze while feeding and more often than not the baby would take a nap and at night we coslept and I was able to get to the point where neither of us truly woke up during the feedings.

Now alot of moms out there may be prone to saying what i'm going to suggest is a bad thing and to avoid it. But the only way i got through the first 3-4 months was sleeping WITH her...I'd fall asleep with her sleepin on my chest. i'd make sure she wouldn't fall off and If i slept with her in the bed, i made sure to put pillows down the other side of her so she couldn't roll off. My daughter is a year old now and she's fine. I know that there are alot of moms out there and news articles about babies dying this way, but when you're an outsider from a different family with no new friends and all your family is in the country you left, sometimes you have no other choice....
Good luck!

Congratulations K. on your daughter. The best advice I could give and what worked for me was to get some help. I had my mom stay with me the first few weeks and then the help of my sister after that. It was still very tough when they left because my boyfriend wasn't able to help for a long time. I finally broke down and paid for an overnight doula to come to the house. Just enough times for me to catch up on sleep and become "sane" again. It was the best money I ever spent.

Here's some links if you want to pursue that option:

http://sanantonio.about.com/od/parentingchildcare/a/sanan...

http://www.southwestdoulas.com/texas/locate.htm

K.,
I can relate to what you are going through right now as I too am a first time mom with a two week old baby. I know every baby is different and every parenting style and home situation is different, but here are a few things that I am doing right now that I thought I would share. Some of this advice has come from my daughter's pediatrician and is working really well for us.

-Don't let her go more than three hours during the day between feedings if you are breastfeeding. I don't know if it is different if you are bottle feeding formula.
-Never wake her in the night to eat...even if your breasts are throbbing with pain if you are breastfeeding. Wait for her to wake up and tell you when she is hungry. Only pick her up at night if she is crying, wanting to eat, or to change a dirty diaper. Don't wake her to change a wet diaper during the night.
-When feeding her at night try not to stimulate her too much or make a lot of eye contact.
-Before bed time give her a bath to soothe her and then feed her right before you put her down.
-My daughter has a fussy period right before bed time, so what I have found useful was to put her in a sling or a carrier and lull her to sleep that way. I don't put her down in her bassinet until I know she is really truly asleep. Plus, having her in the carrier, frees up my hands to check e-mail and do things that don't make me too sleepy and frustrated.
-I know it is tough, but try your best to take a nap during the day when she is napping or when someone else can watch her. I didn't do this a couple of times and became totally delirious during those nights.
-I am a coffee and tea fanatic and was super excited to start drinking it again after I gave birth. But I soon realized that the caffeine was too much for me. So now I have one cup of coffee in the morning to help jump start my day and then drink only decaffeinated coffee or tea if I want more after that.
-Don't hesitate to ask someone for help.

I hope something I have said helps you out. I know it is tough right now, but I can tell you are an awesome mom already and you can do it!! Congratulations on your new baby girl! I wish you only the best!
Take care,
M.

I can really understand what you're going through. With my first, my husband was offshore on a rig for two weeks at a time, so it was ONLY me getting up every hour and a half. I felt like the only person in the world up at night. It was such a lonely feeling. But, what I didn't realize with my first one is that it will pass eventually. It may take 6-8 weeks, but after that it will be all over with. I can't really give you any advice about how to solve the no-sleeping, but I do want you to know that I completely sympathize! And that you're doing a great job even though sometimes it may not feel like it. Hang in there! This won't last forever! If you ever need any encouragement, email me back!
M.

You will get better at this with time. I totally agree with the swaddling. It makes a world of difference in the night.

Also, when I have my new babies, I don't talk to them in the night, especially when they have to still have a diaper change at feeding time. I treat it as if they are supposed to be sleeping and usually they stay in a drowsy sleepy state (kind of like how you probably felt all of the times you got up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night the last few months!).

Babies TOTALLY respond to your emotions. If you are nervous or anxious they become stressed. Your little girl was LIVING your emotions until just a couple of weeks ago! She is probably more of an expert on reading your stress than you can imagine!

Just remember to keep calm and quiet in the night and see if she doesn't quit being so fussy.

Your body will start to adapt to her sleep routine as the weeks go on. You will be able to get right up to take care of her then fall right back to sleep. Try not to worry about it.

Also understand your hormones just went racing through the floor and your emotions might not be quite in check. Don't be so hard on yourself during this adjustment period. If you are feeling like you are having baby blues, look into that.

You get stronger every day as your body heals. Good luck!

A.

The first few weeks are tough. Please see if you can get a neighbor, relative, friend, housekeeper, or babysitter to help you. Enlist as many resources as you can. The first priority should be your sleep and your health. Sleep when your baby sleeps. Good Luck!

My daughter, grown now, but she only slept for 3 hrs a day, (I wrote it down so the doctor would take it serious) but at 3 weeks she started sleeping all night. The first night I was scared to go in and check on her because I was not sure if she would be a live. But she was well and alive. But now I know she had allergy problems and her stomach was hurting. But I was so drained for lack of sleep I tried to get sleep anyway I could when my in-laws came over I would sleep while they watach her and when my husband came home I would try and sleep again, but I was just a zombie for those 3 weeks, it was terrible.

i agree with everyone else that is saying"sleep when the baby sleeps!". it helped me alot when my daughter was a newborn,as soon as she fell asleep i fell asleep. help is the other thing that helped me alot. i stayed with my parent's for 2 weeks after my c-section,and once i was home my mom or grandmother would come and help. i was always told get all the sleep you can get before a baby because once you have a child forget it.my daughter is 4 now and i still dont sleep.goodluck!

#1 rule for new infant: Sleep when the baby sleeps. Especially since you have no other children to care for. I can remember people telling me this and I thought, how crazy. I've got stuff to do! Once I started following this rule it was so much better. I became a much happier Mom. It will get better as she settles into a schedule. But you need to be at your best to handle those high stress times and running on little sleep will not get you there. Remember, all that other stuff can wait.

I have not read all the responses but let me tell you what helped for me.

I went to bed as soon as my husband got home from work...around 6pm. He was on duty until midnight...so I got at least 6 straight hours before I had to get up with our son. Who was a horrible sleeper...20 minute naps during the day and up every hour all night long for months.

I thought I was going to die...before my husband and I started doing the 6 to midnight shift thing...I had actually started hallucinating at one point from lack of sleep.

I feel your pain....{{{{{hugs}}}}}

I can totally relate to how you feel. I wanted nothing more than to be a mom, but when my son was born I found it very overwhelming, especially the lack of sleep. I mean I knew it was coming, but I just don't think that anyone is truly prepared for how hard it can hit a new mom.

I can remember going to the grocery and actually feeling jealous of people there because I was pretty certain they were sleeping more than I was! Like you, I felt very anxious about the whole thing, so then I couldn't sleep very well even when I had the opportunity. And I always felt guilty for secretly dreaming about my "old" life where I got uninterrupted sleep at night.

Just know that this too shall pass! Every day your daughter is getting bigger and her stomach is going to accomadate more food to keep her settled and comfortable at night. She'll also learn to settle herself down before you know it.

No magical advice here,just moral support. They grow up so quickly. My son is now 7 and sleeps like a log!

I just keep telling myself that they have been in this world for a very short time and need lots of love and support.

I really tried to put myself in my child's shoes. 9 months of being comfortable, nestled inside mama. Then all of the sudden, a whole new world to experience.

I would let daddy take care of baby in between feedings. That way I could get a little extra rest. If baby wanted to stay up until 2am, daddy would stay up and bring baby as needed.

I have a 5 week old and can definitely relate. The best advice has already been given - it will get better. The first few months are brutal, but it will slowly improve. Honestly, the 2-3 week mark is the worst - they're in a growth spurt and that's when the lack of sleep really gets you. But it gets better after that. In the meantime, do what works for you. If you want her in her crib but she fusses, but she'll fall asleep with you in the bed, then let her sleep in your bed. Give up a schedule for now or what the books say - if it makes your life easier and doesn't endanger your baby, then go for it. If you have a partner around or family that can take her in the early evening (like 7 or 8 PM), then get some sleep in those hours - and instead of stressing about the night ahead, just accept that she won't sleep and that's your new sleep schedule. It'll help. Naps are also a good idea when you can - if she's sleeping, then just nap - the housework and things you want to take care of can wait (or be done with her when she's up). And just hang in there! It WILL get better.

I can relate. When I had my son (2 years ago), the shock of sleep deprivation was gigantic. Finally we settled into a routine. My husband would hve bonding time with our son from his last evening feeding (about 8 pm) until the next feeding around 10pm - 11 pm. I would sleep until he was hungry since I was breast feeding. During the day, I would take a nap in my recliner chair with my son snuggled against my chest. He sleep much longer and deeper and so did I. I didn't have to worry about being so tired that I wouldn't hear him, because I would feel him start to move as he woke up and be able to wake up with him. At first, I slept evertime he did.

Another thing that worked great was one a friend of mine told me that she had done. My husband and I arranged it that I got "vacation" one night a week and he would take the night feedings. I pumped extra all week for that one night. Just getting one night of sleep for 5 to 6 hours solid made the rest of the week much better and I had something to look forward to.

The encouraging thing is that it does get better.

my son slept great in a cradle swing, best money I ever spent! Does she take a binkie? My son did not at first but I really wanted him to take one so I tried all different kinds until I found one he liked. It helped a lot.

Boy, do I sympathize. You have had alot of responses, I will just add a couple things. Those first few months are the hardest- especially with your first because you do not have the perspective that it will end!! I agree with other replies that in these first few months, do what you need to to get sleep- if she sleeps in her car seat but not in the crib, put her car seat in the crib and let her sleep in it; if she sleeps well with you and you with her, do it; if she sleeps in a swing only, put her in a swing! You will not be spoiling her or promoting poor sleep habits- you will be surviving!

It is most likely that you are just experiencing the tough adjustment period that always comes with a new baby. However, if your inability to sleep is persistent and associated with anxiety and/or depression- you may be dealing with either post-partum depression OR possibly post-partum thyroiditis- the symptoms can be similar. I had PP thyroiditis after all three of my kids were born- anxiety, inability to sleep no matter how tired I was, lack of appetite. A simple blood test at the doctors office can tell them if it is your thyroid. I got so tired of people telling me I just should sleep when the baby slept!! I tried- I just could not sleep!

Just a note about a previous reply. First of all, two weeks is WAY too young for the cry-it-out method anyway. But the typical CIO scenario (at an older age) is about 30 minutes of crying the first night, 15 the second night and little or nothing the third night. If it is more than that, then the CIO method is not working for your baby and should be stopped. The typical CIO method as described above would NOT cause brain damage of any kind. The only way we got my oldest to sleep through the night (at 9 months) was the CIO method from "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". My son is now 7 and is developmentally sound and in the Gifted program at school- no brain damage there! Now my daughter did not respond to the CIO method at all. She would not ever stop crying until I came to her. So we did not do the CIO method with her after 45 minutes the first night. The "Baby Whisperer" method worked well for her- she is now 4 and happy and bright (no brain damage from her 45 minute CIO episode!) My third slept through the night on his own at 6 months with no training at all from me. All kids are different, even in the same family!

Good luck and God bless,
P.

If you are anxious she will be too. She'll sense it. Make the most relaxed night times that you can & she'll sleep longer faster. But, try to relax & enjoy even the night times.

I know it's hard & I can't imagine going through it again.

Do you swaddle? That was so helpful for us. We did the food burp, diaper and entertainment dance. If all of those things were taken care of, there is not much else you can do besides sooth, and she needs to do that on her own too. It is hard, but it is healthy. (for you and her.) Be sure to take time for yourself. You can't be the best moom you can be if you can't step away every now and then. Do you have any help? Husband, mother sisiter or friend? See if they can sleep over a night and let you get some sleep. My mother took my daughter every other weekend for my DH and I when we lived in the same state. It was hard at first, but it is by far the best thing we've ever done for the whole family. My DH and I are still madly in love and the bond between my momther and my daughter is so wonderful. Best of luck.

Absolutely - I can relate and know what it is like to dread night-time. I also cannot take naps during the day very successfully - I will usually wake too tired and it ruins the only stamina I have to make it through the day.

You will have bouts of feeling like this (dreading night-time, needing space, etc...) and it will pass - you have to ride through it each time it happens. The best advice I can share is too stay away from all judging - that it "should" be different, etc... and keep open thoughts on the moment - and try and keep your thoughts focused on your baby and your life - that it's yours and don't compare to others AT ALL - or you will get into the judgement area and that snaggs you bigtime! Just keep it very simple. Stay focused in love on yourself and your baby - that is all you really need to pull out of things.

We can also get certain expectations going and it nails us hard. Stay out of expectations and just know that anything can happen - then you won't be so disappointed if things are difficult, and if things aren't, you will appreciate it more.
See - this is a way of totally making it easy on yourself and treating yourself emotionally better.

If you are nursing - Did you know that everytime she nurses, she gives to you? She triggers a chemical reaction in you which has a calming affect -- prolactin gives you endurance during stressful periods with baby; oxytoxin makes you calmer - these help you adjust and form more attachment with your baby, easier. I say this because if you are nursing, it is great to think of these types of responses so you don't feel so "tapped" in giving so much of the time.

Also - If you find yourself looking at the clock a lot - turn it away - this takes you (again) out of judging - keeping your thoughts on keeping track of too many times up/awake, Why is this happening so often?, etc... Just make things as easy as possible for yourself and baby.

Hope this helps - you can also join fussybabies.com and get a lot of support there. I have a high-need/fussy baby. I have been up every couple hours, or more at night with him since he was born and he is turning two this next week, yes, I did say 2yrs old. These types of kids don't sleep through the night till they are 3-4 yrs. old - I'm very sleep deprived but I keep it simple and am doing great. If I can do it for two years, you can too - not the two year thing, but just for now - getting through your newborns' neediness right now! And that is the last point for you to remember - YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Tell yourself that when you need to - you CAN do what you thought you could not. And, "this too shall pass" is something else to remember. Good Luck and lots of love and care to you and your sweet newborn!

Alli