5 Month Old Waking for pacifier-CIO?

Updated on June 15, 2011
L.M. asks from Chicago, IL
19 answers

Hi moms,
I have a 5 month old ebf healthy over 12 lb dd who goes to bed between 7-7:30 (depending on that last catnap of day). She goes down WITHOUT the pacifer and may cry/fuss 10 min or so, sometimes not at all. My problem is beginning at about 11, she is up nearly every hour or so just to be "plugged". Then between 2-2:30 I nurse, she goes right back down-again without pacifier, but will wake again by 5 to be "plugged" again sometimes multiple times until first feed of ____@____.com has on random occasions gone 7:30-4 am straight which was great--but not at all regular! Pedi said to let her CIO anytime she wakes before 4 because she obviously can go that long. We tried and she cried for over 2 hours both nights. It was torture. I felt like maybe that was pushing it too long so after two nights of that I gave in and, got up to plug her & feed at 2. Although it would be super if it happened, I will say I am NOT expecting her to go the entire night w/o food. I am totally ok nursing once in the night, however, these nearly hourly pacifier plugs have got to stop! AND---do I just let her CIO and not feed until 4? I'm afraid if she CIO from 11pm on from not getting the pacifier then by going in at 2 it will just teach her if she cries long enough I will come. Thoughts? Help?

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone who gave advice! Once I started giving her some solid food (cereal, bananas, sweet potatoes) at mealtimes and then continuing to nurse just as much, within two weeks she was sleeping 730p-7a! The poor thing was just hungry!! AND it's kinda freaky b/c she doesn't take the binky at all anymore, but I do peek on in her and sometimes see her sucking her thumb

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

I used to just put a binky next to my son's hand when he was asleep, so if he woke up the first thing he moves is his hands and he puts it back in his mouth alone, and then goes back to sleep.

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R.C.

answers from Phoenix on

If it was hard for you to listen to her cry, I'm sure it was worse for her to be ignored. She is too young to make the connection between how long she cries and when you will come back. All she can comprehend at this stage is my Mom is not there and I have needs. Teething discomfort is very common around this stage. Please just take care of her when she needs you whether it be night or day and remember that this will not last forever. Kids eventually sleep through the night, I promise. All 3 of my kids woke frequently through the night, but now at age 3 and 6 they sleep 10-11 hours solid. Hang in there. I really feel your pain for last night I was up with my 17 month old soothing his teething pain from 3-5am. This is the difficult side of parenting that no one tells you about before you have kids.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

My son went to bed at 6:30, got up to nurse at about 2am, and then slept until 6:30 from the time he was 6 months. this was with sleep training, of course. However, he did the same thing as your little one with regards to the paci. Here is what we did. We invested some $ and bought about 20 pacifiers. We filled his crib with them, so that he was able to find them. I know it sounds crazy, but we also "practiced" with him on how to find them:) I actually got that idea from this site! During the day, we woudl put him in there and move his arm around to find them. I did this everyday for about a week, and the problem was solved.
As for the nursing, I continued to nurse him at 2am until about 10 months, and then we sleep trained and weaned him of that feeding, but you should do what you and your daughter are comfortable with. Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Hang in there - she's just about at the age where she'll be able to grab it and re-plug herself on her own. Put extras in there. We used to have 5 going at a time with our first child.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Dallas on

The CIO method worked for us with both of our kids. Yes it absolutely torturous for me, but, believe me it was worth it in the long run. But, if you're going to practice the CIO method, you CANNOT faulter and go in to her room. You have got to follow through...otherwise IT WILL NOT WORK. Read the book, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weisbluth. It really had some good tips on the CIO method.

I would suggest getting your baby on a sleep schedule. Ours was Bath, Massage, Bottle/Breast, and finally Bed. Put on some calming music or white noise. I ALWAYS put the baby to sleep when he was sleepy yet still awake. Yes, at first he fussed and wanted me to "Rock" him to sleep. BUt after a few nights of the CIO method, he learned to put himself to sleep AND if he happened to get up before his scheduled feeding, he would put himself back to sleep without a fuss. If he did fuss in the middle of the night, I would go check on him (not picking him up) to make sure he wasn't sick or hurt, then immediately leave. Yes, it was so hard on me when he did cry, but, I knew that if I gave in, HE was in control and it would take longer to train him.

PM me if you have any more specific questions on how it worked for me. Both my kids are amazing sleepers to this day. They have always been great once they "learned" how. It takes time, but, remember to be consistent!

2 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

have you tried feeding rather than plugging? she can self soothe, as proven by the ability to go to sleep without it at 7 - im guessing after having just nursed? Maybe when she is waking up 4 hours later, it's because she is hungry? the paci is just, well...pacifying her until she wakes up hungry again. Then she eats at 2 and falls asleep on her own, only to wake up 3 hours later for a pacifier? No she should not cio. She is a 5 month old that only knows one thing. Her basic needs. You really can't "DECIDE" to only feed once a night. The babys milk intake is only going to increase. SHe is growing and needs to eat as often as her body tells her to.

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C.T.

answers from New York on

Gut reaction is (1) ditch the paci and (2) feed more often.

We had to ditch the paci with our son at about 3 months old - every time it fell out, he woke up and wailed. Plugging worked until he fell sound asleep and it feel out again. Once we ditched it, I found he would nurse better, thus more throughly emptying me and seemed to go longer.

7 to 11 (4hrs before the first "plug") is a good stretch then 2 to 5 (3 hours before the next "plug") seems normal to me; however 7pm to 2 am (7 hours) seems too long between feedings to me. If the schedule isn't working for you then get baby to adjust it by putting her to sleep later or earlier or waking to feed before you go to bed. I usually go to bed at about 11 pm, so a feeding then would not be a problem and then in theory, the next would be about 3pm-ish (this is the "one" night time feeding) and then you would hit your 7AM feeding again.

I am pro-CIO, but 5 months seems young to me for that too, especially if the crying is more than whimpering and instead "gears up". I find, if the kids "gear up", they really need something - diaper, nursing, cuddles, whatever.

Good luck. Eventually she will get a little bigger and sleep longer.
~C.

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M.B.

answers from Sacramento on

I would say he's too young to go that long and is cyring because he's hungry.
He suckles the pacifier, gets nothing, spits it out and cries.
He's trying to get food and trying to let you know.
I say just get up to feed the baby.
I know you're tired but soon enough he will go longer as his tummy gets bigger. This a short time of hell ( I know) but if you could do that for him and for yourself......I guarantee you will all be happier and soon enough this phase will be over. I promise.
I went a long, long time in getting up w/my son in the middle of the night.
Now that's he's 2 1/2.....I'm glad he did. I got through it and a few other phases (lol) and we're over the hump. Hang in there and try getting up to feed your baby.
I think your entire household will benefit and be happier! :)

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L.A.

answers from New York on

Read the Dr. Ferber book. You can teach a child to curb whatever sleep associations you are finding problematic, or all of them. So, yes, you can help your child learn to self soothe back to sleep without the pacifier. There is some crying involved, but hey, she's crying an you are up as it is. The technique is basically, put child to bed sleepy but not asleep without the "crutch." say goodnight, leave the room. Child, predictably cries. Wait 1 minute (it will feel like an eternity). Go back in and soothe, but do not give the paci, or pick up baby. Leave while the child is still awake. Your job is to offer reassurance, but not to put the child to sleep. Child will now cry (louder than before, as he is cross that you have left without "plugging"). wait 3 minutes, and go in and soother, then 5, then 10, then 15, then 20 then 25 etc. each day, the invervals stretch a little longer. Eventually, the little one gets the point, they can/ will sleep without the plug. Mommy hasn't abandoned them, she's just taken a stance re: the pacifier.

read the book for more info. It worked wonderfully for us.

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T.T.

answers from Chicago on

o boy...well first of all "they" say you shouldnt ever let them CIO before 6 months of age. also research shows time and time again that this is NOT the best for your child but docs continually say the opposite. ask your doc why next time? id love to hear the answer.........again that is your choice but IMO its not an option. as far as the paci, id take it away of that is what you think is causing this. it will be a few hard nights for you guys but then its over. most likely what is happening is your child is teething and needs to nurse to relieve the pain ( nursing is a natural pain reliever) so not sure you want to let them CIO when they are in pain and need you. what kind of message is that sending your child? in the end this too shall pass. good luck

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C.K.

answers from Chicago on

I've posted this before, put your pediatrician in a cage and let him "cry it out" when he can't get the attention he needs. Your baby is 5 MONTHS OLD! I don't care what your doctor says, feed the baby and keep putting the paci back in her mouth. She will eventually learn to reach for it and put it in her own mouth. If you have not already done this get a paci clip and attach it to her jammies, they are a life saver. I used to have to do this every 15 minutes with my son until he learned. Yes, it is frustrating because you are sleep deprived. Letting her cry for 2 hours is insane for her and you, your baby has only one way to tell you she needs something, she cries, listen to her. There are no absolutes in child rearing regardless of what your doctor says.

L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Laura,
I would say that as a BF baby, at four months she's still hungry throughout the night -- I know our daughter was. We never practiced CIO, but from what I gather that is not recommended for a 4 month old. Good luck, I agree that nighttime parenting can be some of the most difficult parenting as we all need our sleep! To that end, we had our daughter in our bedroom in a co-sleeper until 6 months, then moved her into our bed to sleep (very, very carefully I might add).

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A.P.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

Between 5 and 7 months my dd went back to nursing every 3ish hours. She had been going long stretches prior to that but then for a couple months must have been hitting a growth spurt. Maybe try, as others suggested, to nurse her rather than give her the pacifier. Now, at 8 1/2 months, my dd still nurses 1-2 times per night and is clearly hungry when she does. Not ideal, but she just nurses and goes right back to sleep, so it's not too bad. Personally, I think letting her CIO, especially if sometimes you go in and feed her and sometimes not, is too confusing at this point, and she's too young. Just my opinion. Good luck!

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Mama - I have a baby that is 5 months too (born on January 5th) and she is 18lbs....so she is big and healthy, also EBF. She goes down at about 8pm after nursing and then it's kind of a toss up of how long it will take her to REM sleep. She may wake up a 1/2 hour later for a bink or an hour later and we nurse. These past 2 days she has stayed asleep until 4am.
Your baby is too young to cry it out. The books specify that it should be done AFTER 6 months. My daughters ped. said to let her CIO too and I just ignored her. She's a nut.
Your baby may need to eat again! It's wierd to me too since I nurse her to sleep, but she EATS again an hour later. You can tell! You can hear the gulping, feel the letdown. If you put your daughter to breast and can hear her eating it's because she was hungry. I would feed her when she wakes at 11pm. She may keep waking up because the bink is just not doing it for her. Who knows? maybe you will feed her at 11pm and she will sleep until 5am or 6!
I get your frustration...I am there too sometimes. But, I know that I am always feeding her at about 4am. SOmetimes she wakes before that and needs to eat. That's the fun part! :)
L.
(don't let her CIO! Feed her. I am not saying your daughter is small...mine was HUGE at birth...10lbs9oz....but I really and truly think your daughter is waking to eat.)

L.T.

answers from New York on

You may just need her to go back to sleep without the pacifier. You can do this without CIO, and honestly I'd be wary of any pediatrician who recommends cry it out (my pediatrician did, and we've been looking for a new one ever since). The Baby Sleep Site provides a ton of information on this topic, but the pick-up-put-down method worked great for us - my son was waking every hour to nurse, and within two months was sleeping through the night. We never did CIO and in fact we didn't even have to work on his sleep much in the middle of the night; we focused on the first waking of the night, around 10pm, and he figured the rest out from there. Five months is REALLY young for CIO, please try other options first!

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D.D.

answers from Denver on

Baby is hungry. "Healthy" or not, baby is hungry. I can't believe people really expect an infant to go without food upwards of 10 hours. Remember, their little bellies take in only a few ounces at a time and then process it rapidly.

Try nursing before you go to bed as well as in the middle of the night.

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J.S.

answers from Austin on

Is this a new problem? If so then perhaps she's going though a growth spurt and needs more milk. Like someone else said 5 months is a little young to be practicing CIO method as your baby's stomach is too small to drink enough to make it through the night.

What I find interesting is that my DD was 15 lbs at 4 months and now she's 17 lbs at 6 months and still eats every 4-5 hours. 12 lbs seems a little low to me but I'm not a pedi...

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E.E.

answers from Chicago on

CIO will not work on a hungry baby. Feed her! She is Hungary when she wakes at 11:00. Hopefully if you feed her at that time she will be ready to sleep longer for the rest of the night and not wake you up every hour. if you wake her up to feed her before you go to bed She may not wake you up for several hours.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

We went through a very similar thing - for months my son was up every one to two (if we were lucky) hours each and every night! He's now 7 months and almost sleeping through the night. Here's what we found helpful:

1) My husband and I started switching off every other night getting up to feed him and my husband would do formula on his nights. We were/are also ebf, but I was getting some post-partum depression and my needing sleep was important. Since your dd isn't needing to eat most of those times, you could switch off having your husband get up and do the pluggy every-other night, and just wake you when she needs to eat - or you could have him do bottles. It will help you get through it!

2) We tried different CIO schedules - CIO all night long or on a schedule. For us we eventually tried to get him on a 1am and 4am waking schedule, and the rest of the time we'd have him CIO. But CIO takes 3 weeks in his case to kick-in. Though he doesn't cry to much, so it isn't all that difficult. Two hours of crying each night will be a hard to take, so you might not want to do CIO.

3) You could try co-sleeping. There is lots and lots of evidence that co-sleeping, especially for breastfed babies, can be done safely. My baby and I both didn't sleep well co-sleeping, so we didn't do it. But know that it is an option.

4) Around 6 months baby will be able to start reaching for the paci and replacing it herself. So if all else fails, just hang in there for another 4-6 weeks. Buy tons of pacis and scatter them all over the crib so she can reach out and grab one once she's able to. Things will hopefully get a lot better then!

Good luck mama!

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