4 Month Old- Crying It Out

We swaddled for a long time, up to a year. They have such heightened startle reflexes, even at 4 mo., that if he sleeps better swaddled, do it. A friend taught me how to swaddle a different way and my kids couldn't get out if they wanted to. You can go to the fabric store and buy remnants of flannel that are bigger than the baby blankets. The remnants can be rectangular and work great. Email me and I will try to explain how to do it with the rectangular blanket. My friend is from the Ukraine and that is where she learned it. So much better than the diagonal swaddle that they use in the hospital.

Your doing too much all at once. Also, it shouldn't be started this early. No baby should be left to cry for 2 hours.

Cry it out actually should not be started until a baby is at least 6 months old and its wrong to let a baby cry that long. Around 4 months of age a baby usually hits a growth spurt. You don't say what method you are using to feed your baby but if you are nursing its normal for a breastfed baby to wake during the night especially when having a growth spurt. Even if you are not nursing you cannot expect a baby to go all night this young. Please reconsider post poning cry it out. From what you have written your baby obviously is not ready for it yet.

Four months is a common time for a growth spurt. Babies frequently wake at night during this period because they need more food.

Pediatricians, even those who support the idea of CIO, generally suggest waiting until the child is at least 6 months or older before expecting a baby to sleep through the night.

Some babies can adjust to the lack of nighttime feeding and comforting, but there is a large and growing body of evidence that this can permanently change the size and functions of certain brain areas. This has implications for the future emotional and cognitive development.

Much of this is still theory, but data is flowing in all the time.
But because there is statistical evidence than CIO is potentially harmful to babies and young children, I sure wouldn't want to risk it, considering my hopes and dreams for a happy and healthy child, and what I had already invested into this new little person through pregnancy and childbirth.

If you want to check the research for yourself so that you can make a more informed decision, google "cortisol and infant brain" or similar key phrases.

It's quite unrealistic and unfair to baby to suddenly take the routine that he knows and depends on and then expect him to sleep. I'd wail for 2 hours too because I wouldn't understand what in the world was going on.

Even Dr. Ferber who is credited withthe cio method says you shouldn't begin this until at least 6 months. If you are adamant about using this method then make sure you are using it correctly.

I swaddled my son until he was well into 6 months old and my daughter was close to 5 months when we stopped.

It is very important to understand infant sleep and how it works to then teach baby to sleep. Dr. Sears Baby Sleep book and the Baby Whisperer had invaluable information when I was teaching my children to sleep. Notice i said teach not train. Big difference imho.

I do believe in CIO but letting a 4 month old cry for two hours is WRONG on every level to me. I did CIO with both of my children, so I am a firm believer in the method, and would recommend it. However, I did it when they were older. At 4 months old your baby needs you and if he is waking that many times, he is either hungry, sick, teething, or having a growth spurt. I do not think any doctor would recommend CIO for a 4 month old. Please do not let your baby cry for hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 4 months your baby still needs to be fed at night.
His little tummy is only as big as his fist and it empties quickly due too all the growing and milestones they do.
Sleep training a 4 month old is unreasonable.
Many babies are swaddled until they are uncomfortable doing it, if he's comfortable then keep doing it. You are trying way too much at one time, they can't handle that much change at once.
What worked for your first child might not work with your second.
Every child is different , and things that work for one might not work with the another.

Since these wakings are new there are a few things that could be going on
1) growth spurt
2) teething
3) milestones
Either way he will grow out of it on his own without screaming for hours.

at 4 months old a child needs love and comfort. I assume if he is crying for 2 hours without his paci and unswaddled, that he is laying in bed and doing so. sometimes a baby just needs to be held. I used the CIO method with both of my children, successfully, and I agree that 4 months is entirely too early to start, especially for 2 hours at a time! the most time recommended to let them cry, uninterrupted, is 30 minutes. I think baby boy just needs a little extra mommy time. not all babies are the same. it isn't fair to judge him off of how his older sibling did.

I've always heard/read that you can begin CIO at 6 months. Before that, they just don't understand. They can learn that adults will not help them when they need help, and can disassociate and have social problems later. Of course, those are severe cases, not just from one or two episodes of being left to cry too long.

And as a mother of three, I'll tell you that CIO works with SOME KIDS. It worked like a charm with my first. I knew that if he fussed for longer than 5 minutes, I needed to go get him up, because something was wrong. I thought I was an awesome mom, because I had it all figured out. Then baby #2 came along and threw all that out the window. He would cry for 45 minutes at age 8 months and never calm down. He just worked himself into a tizzy. I learned that what he needed was to cry for a minute on his own, then I needed to go comfort him and lay him down again, and then he'd sleep. He's still that way--if he's crying, he needs some time to feel sad, and then he needs someone to go comfort him for a minute before he can stop.

Baby #3 is NOT a cuddler or a CIOer. Luckily, he's a blankie/pacifier baby. I swaddled him for a long time, maybe 7 or 8 months? Even in the summer, although I had to use just some lightweight cotton fabric instead of a blanket. He just needed it. He now goes to sleep soooooo easily. I lay him down, hand him his paci, hand him his blankie, and wind up his stuffed musical dog, and we generally don't hear from him again.

So you're going to have to figure out what's going to work with THIS baby. It really matters more about what he needs and less about what you think will work.
That's what I've learned from having three kids!

I believe in cio but not for more than 20 min. it sounds like he is in a growth sprut and may need cereal or something to help through it. if they cry more than 20 mins something else is wrong wether it is hungry teething sick or whatever. with my youngest I swaddled at that age my oldest would scream louder if swaddled. so I didnt swaddle him unless he just didnt feel good and I would do it to wear him out. he would fight it so hard he would drop from exaustion.

why did you take away his security things no wonder he wouldn't quit crying.

mine is 2 and a half and stillhas his security blanket. and still sucks his thumb. he is slowly breaking himself of them but if he whines in his sleep I just make suire he has his blankie and leave him be. 4 months is when mine started needing security things. security is either the blankey or you better the blankie.

Hi JT, I just wanted to add that we swaddled our son for a long time. He's now 2 and still sleeps in a growbag when it's cold, so in a way he's still swaddled. I don't see anything wrong with continuing to swaddle for as long as your son needs.

Does your son roll over yet? (I assume yes, from your post) Is it possible that he rolls over and gets stuck and can't roll back and that's why he's upset in the night in between feeds?

Well, he may be a higher needs child in which the CIO method does not work. These children need more physical attention, hence, in bed with you & nursing on demand. This may not work with your lifestyle, but it's his best interest that is most important. Read Dr. Sears Sleep Book for more info. I hop this doesn't qualify as against CIO, it just seems that he is asking for more than the CIO method can provide. Good luck.

I have taken a lot of child psychology classes and do agree with CIO method. However, from my experience and knowledge, it's not recommended to start it this early. Usually, 5 mo is the earliest age because otherwise it might create unnecessary fears. Also, studies generally recommend starting slowly, where you take 1 security item away first and let them cry it out. However, 2 hours seems quite a long time. I have done it with my nephew and started from 5 min. Then, slowly extended it to 30 min. However, my pediatrician does not recommend going over 30 min limit. She said that after that, one should pick them up, comfort, and start over again. My daughter is still swaddled now and is slowly starting to take 1 hand out, so I don't swaddle her during the day, just at night. Maybe just start slower with him.

We swaddled our oldest until she was 6 months and then transitioned her out of it slowly. However, we did not do sleep training or CIO so I can't answer anything else in your post.

It's possible that he's waking because he's hungry though. Have you tried nursing him when he wakes? Babies his age DO often wake to nurse out of hunger. They are too young to be manipulative.

Well, actually cry it out can begin at 3 months, so I'm sorry that you're still getting some negative comments. That being said, my kids sleep trained very easily as well, so I don't have a lot of other advice. My pediatrician told me this though...that when they cry you should go in there and talk to you baby and say something soothing (no picking up) then leave. Go back again one more time in a little while. Then the next night go in only once and the next night don't go in at all. Sometimes the issue is that the baby might be scared and doesn't understand that you are actually there and not picking him up. He needs to see you and understand that technically he's safe, he just isn't getting what he wants.

CIO can be so stressful and hard on the parents, so I understand how you feel. Napping is harder because there's only a certain amount of time alotted for nap, so it's a tough area. I say do what works for you. I do agree that maybe you shouldn't take away everything at once...maybe start with either the paci or the swaddle. My first is a thumb sucker and my second never wanted either, so I am not very well versed in pacifiers!

I hope it works out soon!

Sounds like he has a sleep association with the pacifier - he thinks he needs it to fall asleep. My son had the same problem...at around that age my son was the same - swaddle and pacifier and he was content. But when that pacifier fell out - Id have to go in and re-plug him and off he'd sleep till he'd want it the next 1-2 hours. What I did was actually let him learn to fall asleep without the pacifier. Seemed like the impossible but miraculously it worked in quite a short amount of time - Im taking maybe a couple nights and the longest he cried was like 22 minutes and it wasn't even that hard. When I used cry it out I would go in every 10 minutes to reassure him I was still around and I also have a video monitor so I can at least see that he is okay. BTW the sleeping lasted about one month til he was about 5 months and he got sick but by that time he could replace it himself - I keep a lot of pacifiers in his crib so he can always have access to one.

I am for CIO but at 4 months old it is not developmentally appropriate. Their brains need the nourishment, and they need the comfort. They are not yet able to self soothe. Wait two months. (BTW with a 6 month old baby should not cry 2 or more hours...at this stage they are older and more able to adapt to CIO)

The reason why he is waking more frequently is probably because he is going through a growing spurt. FEED his brain. It's tough but we all go through it. Ask for help.

We waited on cry it out until about 7 months. When we did do it we used the mellow comforting you mention to go to sleep. When she cried we'd go in after 5 minutes to gently soothe, then leave. Then in 10 minutes and then in 15. It took two nights and she never cried after that 15 minute visit. It definitely improved her sleep until a few months down the road when some other developmental bit made it hard for her to fall back asleep on her own and then we just did a couple nights of sleep training again. We went off of our pediatricians advice and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child (here Weissbluth recommends waiting until after 5 months if I remember correctly in terms of cry it out). Other things we tried (that frankly didn't help): feeding fuller meal before bed, humidifier, darker room, lighter room, white noise... Best of luck and hope you get some helpful replies.

I used a modified version of cry it out that may work for you, although like your first child, I started sleep training very early so it just came natural to them since they had not yet developed bad habits. What I did was go in every 5 minutes to comfort, but without picking them up or feeding, so they knew it was still bed time. I would rub their tummy and sing or talk softly until they were calm, and than leave. If they started to cry again I would wait anther 5 minutes, I never had to go in more than once. When a child cries for too long they can work them selves up and it can be harder for them to sooth, so by using the timer and the 5 minute rule, it avoided that while still teaching them to self sooth. I used the 5 minute rule at night as well. If my boys woke I would wait to go in for that 5 minutes, and 99% of the time they self soothed before that time was up. I stopped night feeding at around 2 months using this method. They would go down at 8, and it would be 5 or 6 before they would wake and not be back to sleep in 5.

I understand that you only want agreement. But what if CIO does serious harm? Why not trust the baby and sleep with him as nature intended? And why reject such views in advance? What if they are right? Maybe it isn't just an opinion for the baby but a life altering trauma? Just what if?

We swaddled our oldest until 6 or 8 months! I remember the other moms in my moms' group joking that I'd be weaning him from it when he went away to college! He just wasn't ready to be without it and slept much better when swaddled. He also took a pacifier, which meant several times a night I was in replacing the pacifier and/or reswaddling. He never slept straight through the night until we got rid of the pacifier, at about 18 months. Some kids just need more nighttime attention. We did abbreviated CIO and never had it last more than 2 hrs, but we didn't start that until the swaddle was gone. My brother chose CIO early on and my recollection was that it took YEARS with his oldest! Some days went well, others didn't. Could just be the personality of the kid. Best of luck!

I started giving my daughter a bottle of formula at four months at her last feeding before bed time. Formula takes longer to digest & she felt full while she slept longer. When she got older & needed more I just added cereal to the formula at night. I breast fed her during the day.