Never Received a "Thank You"

I would go ahead and ask if she received the gift. YOu can even tell a little white lie...and say that you were suppossed to get a confirmation, but don't think you did.

Don't put her on the spot by asking for pics or anything like that, esp. since she has memory trouble. In this situation, I call the person and say this "Hi, I came across the receipt for 'whatever' and thought I'd ask if you needed it before I toss it?" It will get the answer you are looking for without making her feel bad for forgetting to thank you.

L.

Definitely ask her if she recieved it. It will give you piece of mind. I don't think she would feel bad.

I would just ask. As you say, she has issues with memory. She possibly just forgot to tell you she received the gift.

Since you had to send it via mail, I would ask so you know whether it arrived or not.

I would ask. Say that you know she is very busy but you wanted to make sure that she received it so she didnt think you forgot about her. Good Luck.

Can you casually work a "Hey - did you have a chance to try on the outfit I sent/play with the toy I sent/ use the blanket that I sent yet? I hope it was the right size/color" etc in to a conversation? It's good that you recognize her memory situation and aren't taking it personally, yet knowing if it even made it to her would be nice too!

I guess next time I'd probably just put a return reciept post card on it, knowing that it will just put your mind to ease. I learned this the hard way as I sent my mom an outfit before Christmas as a surprise, and it never made it to her... I finally broke down and asked my sister to check out her closet when she wasn't home!! Frustrating! I learned my lesson!

Best of luck!

I would just leave it alone. You I believe are making a big deal out of it. But if you can't leave it alone just ask your friend if she ever got the gift you sent. 10-1 if she has an injury to the head she probably forgot to thank you. But all honestly she probably for got and your making something out of nothing.

Don't feel bad about asking- sometimes things do get lost in the mail. If she received it, she will surely thank you when you call. She may be overwhelmed and would appreciate a call anyway.
Best Wishes,
M.

Hey R.......I would just ask her in conversation!

I hate it when people don't send thank you cards!! Since she does have a problem with her memory I wouldn't take too much offense to it though. Although I think it is important to know if she got the gift or not, since you spent $$ on the gift and shipping. I would just say something like, "You know I lost the tracking # for the gift I sent you, I just want to make sure you received it." In all fairness, she may not have. Or, she may have sent you a thank you note and you didn't receive it. 2 people never received invitations to my baby shower and I never got them returned in the mail. Accidents happen. Good Luck!

I would ask just for the reason you mentioned. She is your friend I think either way you will feel better for asking to put your mind at ease.

Ask her if she got it. ("Hey, I just wanted to make sure you got that package I sent to you on such and such a date." I dont
I was in a similar situation last year. My friends from college moved back to the US from Uganda and I sent the whole family a package with a 30th birthday present for my friend, baby gift for their new son, and clothes for their daughter. I never got a thank you from my friend, and when I asked her (via email) if she got the package, she didn't answer the question. I just let it go, and hope that if she didn't get it, whoever did get the package is enjoying the stuff.
Good luck!

R.

I would ask her in a similar way that you asked for everyone's advice here on mamasource---being up front about why you are asking. Make a phone call to check in on her/how things are going. Near the end of the phone call, tell her that because you shipped the baby gift, you just wanted to make sure she did, in fact, receive it. If she says she did and then proceeds to apologize for not calling/sending a thank you...just cut her off saying "Oh no don't be silly...I never expect a new mom to have to write thank yous. I remember how crazy things get and how quickly you move from one 'situation' to the next". This way you find out, and she is not embarrassed. Of course most people write thank yous (as do I), but I always tell new moms in the card (attached to the gift) to please not worry about a thank you...someone did that for me with my first 9 years ago and I appreciated that one simple gesture more than I can explain.

Just call and ask her in a very matter-of-fact way. You know, I just realized I don't know if you ever got the baby gift I sent you. I keep forgetting to ask you about it. Did it get there alright? That's all you need to do. No attitude or anything to cause her to be defensive. That should work. My best friend finally called me to ask about a check she gave my daughter for her wedding (a few months later). I called my daughter who said of course she'd done all the thank you notes, but I asked her if she could just check. She found my friend's check uncashed in her box of thank you notes. Apparently she'd not had my girlfriend's address and planned to call me but had to clear her table for company one night and it all got put away & never looked at again. We were both embarrassed but my friend is still a very good friend. I got the feeling that she thought her children would never do this, but over the years they've proven that they are definitely not mistake-proof!

Hello,
If I were you I would just act a little dumb next time you talk to her on the phone and be like "oh.. I totally forgot to ask you if you ever got the package I sent you, I have had problems with UPS (or whatever u sent it through) and I just wanted to make sure they didn't loose another package" then just kind of laugh.. I'm sure she wont be offended, with the new baby shes most likly just going crazy. I know after I had my Daughter I waited a little while to send thank you's I felt bad, but I figured my fam. and friends would understand. Good luck!!

It's bothering you so ask your friend if she liked the gift. That why you can find out if she received it and if she liked the gift. During the course of the conversation she'll thank you or confirm she never received it.

I say just ask her straight out. If she's a new mom she's forgetful anyway, and may not even remember if she sent a thank you. If she sounds embarrassed, just tell her you were in the same boat when you first had yours.

Just ask! Friends need to be open with each other. Perhaps she got several gifts at the same time and got them mixed up who they were from and is embarrassed to admit it. Or, maybe she didn't get it at all, or maybe she has just forgotten. You'll never know unless you ask. Some people have a hard time the first few months, years even. Especially if she's sleep deprived. Don't put so much thought into it and just ask without taking anything personally.

I would defineately ask if she recieved the gift...there is nothing wrong with tthat. Just explain that you wonderign because you thought it may have gotten lost in the mail. You will find the right words. :)

I think the other advice is right on that you should ask her, but I would tell her that you're asking specifically because you don't want her to think you didn't acknowledge the baby. Otherwise, she may think you're asking because you're still waiting for a "thank you."

Good luck - let us know how it goes.

A. W

R.,

What I would do is the next time your talking to her just casually mention it. Something like "Oh by the way, while I'm thinking about it, I sent a little somthing for the new baby, did it ever get there?? No big deal I was just wondering.........." That way you can make it sound like your questioning the postal system and not fishing for a "thank you".

I would just ask her. "Did you like the gift I sent" and see what she says.

Things sometimes do get lost in the mail, so I think you should just ask her if she received it. She most likely just forgot.
I send gifts to my godson overseas, and it takes about a week for it to get there. If his mom doesn't call me to let me know that she received it, then I call her. I don't see anything wrong with calling to make sure.

I've been in this exact position before so now that I'm the one pregnant I'm crazy about sending at least an ecard if I am getting behind on thank yous. When I was in your position all I did was when I talked to my friend, I simply asked if she received the gift or if she liked it or mentioned some kind of detail about what I sent and then she confirmed that she received it - you can even do this through email if you want and act like you forgot about it to if that makes it less awkward. Likely, she will feel horrible and say she is so behind on thank yous or something like that, but you should absolutely not just let it go because what if she never received it? My favorite line whenever someone says to me that they are behind on thank yous is that there is no need to send one because you just thanked me. All people really want is the acknowledgement of the gift. It is rude that your friend hasn't said anything but most likely she just forgot or got busy but just for peace of mind, I would mention something about the gift. After all, this is a friend of yours and you wanted her to receive the gift so there is no harm in verifying that she received it. What did you send, maybe you can mention if the baby has used it etc. Let us know how it goes if you decide to talk to her. Good luck!

Hi Rachael,
You know I don't think it would hurt if when u email or chat on the phone that u just ask politely if the gift u sent was appropriate. I mean if u sent an outfit u could just quick ask, did the outfit I sent fit or was it the right color little things like that. she might just reply oh i am sry i forgot to tell u thanks for the outfit or what ever the gift was.
or u could say something like i sent u something for the baby but wasn't sure if u got it yet or not because i lost my tracking code. she might just say oh i am sry i forgot to call and say ur gift arrived and thanks so much.
when my friend had her little guy she never sent a thank u at first but she had so many things going through her mind at the time that it just took her a bit. she doesn't have a problem with her memory but at the time they were waiting for her husbands orders of when he was being sent to Iraq so i am sure u can imagen how frazzled she was at the time.
hope this helps
many blessings
P.

R.,

I would bring it up as casually in conversation or an email as you can and make sure she got it. A few years ago I was married and invited a friend of many years... she couldn't make the wedding but sent a gift; well she called a bit later and we realized that the gift was never received... If she hadn't inquired none of us would've known that it was never received... and just explain it to her that you just want to make sure she received it
HTH
J.

Ask her, or her husband or close family....Just say that you saw this gift and right away thought of her and her baby and just want to make sure she recieved it....because the mail is so unrelyable sometimes.

I would ask, and then if she apologizes for not thanking you or says she thought she thanked you, just blame it on your own memory and say, "Oh, I'm sure you probably thanked me when you got it, but my memory is so bad I couldn't remember. I just wanted to be sure it wasn't lost in the mail."

How did you send the gift? I am sure that you should be able to get help from UPS or FED-X. Did you send it by mail? You can track a package even if it is sent out by U.S. mail. If you have to ask your friend make sure you let her know that you sent the package already and just want to make sure it did not get lost. If she is truly your friend then everything should work out.

I would probably just ask her if she found your gift useful or if it was clothes, ask her if she wouldn't mind taking a picture of her baby in it any e-mailing it to you. That opens the door for conversation about the gift without making anyone feel bad.
C.

I really think that you should contact her and make sure that she recieved it. She may have sent the thank you card too but we all know how the mail system is. I have had ALOT of things lost in the mail plus have also recieved things that aren't even mine. So I would definetely ask her if she recieved it and if it was clothing just ask if the outfit fit the baby. You just wanted to check to see if it needed to be returned or not.

Hi Rachael, i would say there is nothing wrong with asking your friend if she got the gift ok.I don't think there is anything wrong with finding out if she received your gift ok, you could ask her if she liked the gift you sent and that way she could remember if she ever received it. I say go for it..........GOOD LUCK!!

I would simply ask her if the gift fit properly or if she liked the gift you sent her. If she's a friend, she won't be offended. She may have forgotten. The main point is that you did send her something. God sees all. :)

Just call her and ask her. She'll thank you then, and that will be that, you can stop worrying about it.