Neighbor Mom Leaves Kids Unattended at the Park. What Would YOU Do?

i am the type of mom that if she doesnt come back within a reasonable amount of time and i go to this park everyday and everyday this happens then i would call the police and tell them what is going on. This way they can talk to her and tell her she is not practicing good parenting skills and in some cases Department of Human Services would be called. She really needs to have a parenting class cause one day her kids could be kidnapped. First i would have to say something to her about it in a calmly manner but if it continues then i would call the police!!

Most neighbor parks are kept as part of the HOA and they have specific rules that need to be followed while in the park. I would imagine that one is children must be supervised at all times. Call the HOA and let them know what this lady is doing. They'll put a stop to it.

Make an anomimous phone call to child protection services. She needs a wake up call., Anyone can snatch her babies up and they would never be able to fend for thereselves. And if she is in the house across the street on the phone, she'd never realize until it was too late!

I would march them (although you'd have to drag your two with you!) to their home home and tell her that the kids didn't know where she was or when she was coming back...so..."here they are!"

I would haul those precious kids back to their mom's door and tell her that she forgot them. Then go back to the park and enjoy time with your kids.

Age 3 is too young to be across the street from home and the 5 year old should not be made to watch the younger one.
What a terrible position to be in! That mama needs to wake up!

EDIT*** Good Lord, did you post this just to pass judgement? Mabey you are the woman at the park? Give the mom a break and watch the kid get flattened by a car. Sorry, but you just straight up judged a bunch of women concerned for a child's safety.

Sheesh...I'm all for letting kids play outside by themselves, but 3 & 5 yo still need supervision at a park.

The way I would handle it though is when the kids come up asking for something I'd ask them "Where's your mommy honey?, Let's go find her." And then I would walk the kids home and say the kids were missing her. Sometimes it just takes once to let people know you're not OK being duped into babysitting.

If it happens again, walk the kiddos home and mention that you're not comfortable watching her kids and at their tender age you feel obligated to if she's not there. GL!

I am a firm believer in speaking up when there is an issue. I didn't read what the other mothers have said, but I will hope that I am repeating what some did.
First of all, I would push the kids if I could and help them with their bike. When I left the park I would also walk the children back to their home if mama hasn't made it back to the park. If she has, then this is what I would say to her (I would also say it as I was dropping the kids off)
"Jane, I made it to the park today so that I could play with my kids. I wanted to bring your kids back to you since there is no one here to watch them. I find it strange that you would just leave them here with me and assume I want to watch them. I don't. I want to play with MY kids. Please, don't leave them here and then go back to your home. I don't think it's safe for them to be here at the park without their mother."
L.

I love these types of questions. Heres what I would do...."HEY! You're not leaving your kids alone are you?" If she stops and turns around great, if she doesn't....call the authorities. And I would stay with the kids until the police get there. You don't have to be rude when you try to stop her, just alert her. End of story. Sometimes all it takes is letting that person know you are paying attention to them and they might change their behavior. (I lived in a really ghetto city in California...you would be surprised at what you would see in a day.) The word "graceful" more often then not refers to taste. Your taste in how to handle things may differ from mine. =)

I think you would need to speak up and let her know it bothers you that she would leave her 5 and 3 year old unattended at the park. I would go as far as telling her that even though she doesn't ask you to watch her kids while she's on the phone and goes to her house, you feel that you need to watch them. People like that NEED To be TOLD how to be a parent, they are self absorbed. I don't see why you have to feel like you have to be careful of her feelings, tell her straight out, this is wrong. Let her know if you are willing to watch her kids, if you aren't then let it be known. I would say, hey if something happens to them then you only have yourself to blame...

Grace has nothing to do with it.

I would simply say in a loud voice "Excuse me!!! Do not leave without your children!!! Coyotes are ramped this time of year and are hungry!!! Not a good idea to leave them unattended!!

YOUR UPDATE.

HOW DARE YOU COME BACK AT THE MOMS WITH THIS REPLY. IF YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD HAVE COMMUNICATED WITH THIS OTHER MOM THEN WHY DIDNT YOU. YOU MADE IT SOUND LIKE SHE LEFT HER CHILDREN ALONE AT THE PARK. WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WOULD GET FOR REPLIES.

I would at some point simply gather the kids up (take a day that you can leave a little early or something and go to a different park or something) take the kids to the mother across the park and say, I have to leave now and I can't take these kids with me, so I figured you might want them back safe and sound. Keep it light hearted but "pointed". You don't have to be catty, but don't be "sweet" either. A light hearted "Look what almost followed me home!" Might do the trick.

I would tell the kids they need to go get their mother. The same thing happens here all the time but with slightly older kids. I am the only mom who goes out (I have a 4 and 6 year old, all the other kids are 6, 7, and 8) and the kids want me to not only do everything for them, but also provide snacks for all when my kids get one, bottles of water, ect... I just finally started telling them to go ask their mother for food, go ask your father to push your bike, ect... With those ages they should not be there at all with out her. If it continues I would walk them up to the house and just polity say "Hey, they were having a hard time by themselves and could not find you."

How many times has this happened?! I think after the first time, I would have a little talk with the Mom. You can gently say that you are not OK with tending to her kid's needs and requests when you are at the park to play and spend time with your own kids. And you are worried about their safety. After all, what if you were just leaving and her young kids were left with no adults at the playground? Seriously, are a 3 and 5 year old supposed to just walk home by themselves? I think she's taking advantage of your being there thinking her kids are OK as long as you're there too. It's beyond rude of her not to ask you first before leaving them. I think if you have a little friendly Mom to Mom chat about your concern, it won't happen again.

This is a really tough one because no matter how hard you try to be graceful this mom is more then likely going to take your comments as a criticism. I went through this with a neighbor who just put her kids outside each day and then left the house. She would lock the doors and her kids would eventually come to my door to go to the bathroom saying they were locked out. Once inside they were hungry, thirsty, too hot to go back out etc. After 3 days in a row I realized I was being duped into babysitting her kids for free. I went to talk to her and she totally flipped out. "No one told you to let them in your house if you didn't want to then you could say no etc." The next day she left they came to my door and I let them in to use the bathroom as always. I then called her and said if she didn't come back I would be forced to call the police. She came back screaming and yelling that I shouldn't have let them in my house and she was going to call the police. Since that day they don't knock on my door but she still leaves them. Twice the police have come and yet they still have not been taken away from her. I feel bad for not helping them because it isn't the children's fault but I also know their mother is irresponsible and reluctant to change and I can't be responsible for more then my own. It sounds like this mom is expecting you to take care of her children and as long as you keep doing it she is probably going to keep taking advantage. The only way to stop it is for you to stop. Good luck!

EDIT - After reading your update I am pretty annoyed. How sad for us as mothers? How sad for our children that we live in a world where they can't safely play unattended. How sad that our children have parents working 8-14 hour days who only have limited time to play. You asked a question and moms gave an answer. I didn't answer to get your lecture and as I said in my answer this is an issue that puts children in harms way. As mothers our job is to make sure our children are safe. We extend that to other people's children when we call CPS or the police because in today's society a mother's "mistake" could mean a childs life. As far as her need for help perhaps if she asked for it she would get it. That's what we Army wives do when we need help and I'm certain we aren't the only ones.

It is not legal to leave children unattended at that age.
If you know where she lives you can make an anonymous call to CPS.

I would simply tell her without apologizing to her. Your not going to watch her kids. It puts you in an awkward postion you don't want them to get hurt but she is making a conscious decision to be neglectful.
I would say whatever he name is " blank I work all day and I look forward to spending some time with my kids when I come home from work. I can't watch your kids. I will not watch them so if they are over here I will not be watching them. Say this once without apoloizing for your actions. Dont repeat myself you loose ground when you repeat. Say it once calmly to her face eye contact then walk away.

Some people are idiots. (My MIL being one, and having raised my DH to think it is OKAY to send toddlers to the park... across busy streets... on their own. My MIL actually LEFT MY 2 YEAR OLD at the park to walk several blocks to the store. Busy street, busy area. Last time she watched my son EVER, and now he's 8).

What I have, and will continue to do when it's not dangerous (aka no streets to cross) and it's LITTLE kids... is as soon as the mom is on their way and the kids start wanting me... is I tell them that they need to follow their mother home. Many parks round here have houses that back onto them with gates.

"You need to follow your mother, it's not safe here for you to be on your own."

Then I watch them walk off.

Yes, I've gotten into it with a couple mom's.

"Mommy... the lady said it's not safe." is what usually gets said to the parent, or that I sent them home... and the mom is ticked.

Where upon I just let fly (with bambi eyes)...

"Look... my husband was only raped in the park once as a toddler when he was left alone, no one kidnapped him or anything. But my sister fell from the play structure and broke her neck. If my mom hadn't been there, it could have been a real nightmare."

What I would do is:
I would just diplomatically stop the Mom... say her kids are unattended.... and no one to watch them, and they could disappear.
Then I would add, that I am not staying there and no one else is watching her kids.

You can't just leave kids, unattended & unsupervised, in a public place (not even in your own yard), because it only takes 7 seconds, for a child to be abducted.
And yes, I would tell that Mom, these stats.

The point is: I would not care, if she got 'mad' at me. So what.

Or just call the Police.

Yes, that Mom is negligent.

I think what she did was perfectly fine. Driving your kids on the freeway is more dangerous than what she did. I want to call the cops on all of these ridiculous anal parents who have written in and expect this woman to drag her children back and forth every time she needs to go home for a second. These moms probably duct tape their kids to their car seats until they are 8. In the 70s no one would have thought anything of this and that is because its FINE. Why don't they have laws against kids staying inside all of the time playing videogames all day. That is what is wrong with the world- not playing outside unattended.

I agree with Rae. I have a 3 yo and can't imagine leaving her anywhere outside unattended. I would call police.

I would find a way to talk to the mother herself to see if she needed some assistance keeping an eye on her children if she just needed a short break. Unfortunately, because my concern would be more geared towards the young children left in the park unattended by their mother, I would talk to her about what can happen should someone decided to report her behavior to the authorities and how I don't want to see her lose her children over something that can so simply be avoided. If she chooses to ignore the advice and continues to leave the children unattended, I would report the incident myself immediately. My first concern is for the children.

Starting at about 5 I was allowed to play on the sidewalk with other children on my street. Younger siblings were with us at times. We were not allowed to pass certain boundaries and had to ask a parent to come out and walk with us if we went across the street. We ALL knew these rules clearly. Ball bounced into the street go get mom. Want to go roller skate in Sally's drive way, go in and tell mom we're changing location.

I agree with the follow up to the original post, we've lost some perspective. Five year olds need adults, but they are not helpless. I walked to school in kindergarten.

It is easy to assume her action is out of neglect, disregard for safety, etc. But maybe in her mind leaving them to swing in this park is not different than running in the house to take a call if they're in her back yard. Thirty years ago neighborhoods were teaming with kids playing kick ball, tag, hopscotch and other games as their mothers viewed them from inside. I don't know if the dangers are more dangerous today, but they've always been there. I was instructed when playing in my neighborhood what to do if a person talked to me, never to go in anyone's house, not to approach a car, etc. So the dangers were there in the 70's. Our idea of how to protect and care for our children has changed.

On my street school aged children sometimes play unattended in their front yards. I don't feel comfortable letting mine join them, and don't imagine I will when they're older either. There are risks I don't want to take. And I am a mother of the 00's. That being said, at some point, I will have to allow my child to walk to a friend's house, school, etc. without me being a constant shadow.

It is entirely possible that the mom in the situation described considers this park directly across the street from her house as an extension of her yard. From the description, it sounds like they might be visible from inside her house.

I would approach her. A park is NOT part of her house and a three and five year olds need direct, hands on adult supervision in public places. As previous posters said, it is probably the law.

Forget handling it gracefully - just handle it. Call the police and child services.

call dhs or cps whichever you have

I would probably call the police and let them know. That is not okay. I used to work in a mall at a store right in front of the play area and women would leave their 3-6yr olds there to play and go shopping. We had to call on them several times. Like some others said better she gets a wake up call versus losing one of them for good and you have it on your mind. The police would probably give a warning the first time anyway.

I have encounted that before, I just nicely tell the child to get their mom/dad to help because I am busy. No big deal...now if I lived in a big city, it would worry me..we currently live on a small island..so yeah..we deal with that all the time since playgrounds are in nearly every neighborhood :)

Make an anonimous phone call to the police dept. Although what may happen may be a harsh lesson for her to learn, it is much better then God forbid something happening and all of the mothers at the park including yourself , feeling the guilt. They may even just make it look like an officer was on foot patrol & he may ask the children where their mom is then escort them home. My feelings on this are very extensive - we had to call Family Services on our old next door neighbor and their oldest daughter still ended up dying because of the parent's neglect. I would absolutely call - my 6 yr old was upset w/me the other day for calling the police dept my husband works at b/c a car had all empty beer cans all over the floorboards & 2 cases on the ground by the passenger side. If i didn't call, it could've been a friend of mine not making it home that day b/c of some drunk driver. Good luck!

Never ceases to amaze me how stupid some people can be. As she was heading back to your her house, I'd yell: "Excuse me, you forgot your children!!!" OR I'd walk the kids back to her house and knock on the door and say the same thing. That is a terrible situation waiting to happen.

You asked how to handle this "gracefully". That is to continue to do want you are doing and play with all the kids. Otherwise no matter what you do it could get ugly. There are many great suggestions in the other comments. This lady is just plane wrong and rude. If she is leaving these kids at the park how else is she neglecting them. She does need a wake up call. You have the right to have time with your kids after being at work all day. Good Luck on figuring out which suggestion fits you.

If you start to take care of her kids you are liable if something happens. Call CPS. It is not nice to to that to a nieghboor, but it is better for the kids.

Actually I'm not sure how graceful I would be. I would go up to her and say please don't leave your children unattended in the park, they are legally too young to be left alone.
I am at the park to spend time with my children and feel uncomfortable attending to your children too, who ask me for assistance because you are not there. Don't presume it's okay to leave your children with a friendly looking stranger in the park.
If I ever see you do this again I'll report you for abandoning your children. If you had an emergency and asked for my help for a minute of two that would be different.