Needing Help

Hi,
I noticed that someone else suggested "The Care and Keeping of You" book y the American Girl Library. I only have a daughter, but that book was suggested to me. My daughter is 10, and I thought she was too early to discuss this with, however, she began having friends & family around her age that began puberty and I felt it was important to discuss now, but wasn't sure how to start or how she would react.

I can 100% say that the book mentioned above made a huge difference for me. Not only did it help me be able to just bring a topic up, because the chapters are so well laid out, but it's presented well for someone of my daughter's age to understand easily.

I am sure there are plenty of other great books out there that can be read by you and your kids at the same time...the suggestion to go to Barnes & Noble or any bookstore of that kind is a great idea. You can look through, read a few lines and determine if the book seems like it could help. That's what I did with the American Girl Library series, and I instantly knew that was the book that was going to help me more than help my daughter...LOL

Thanks!

Great books - Shannon Etheridge "Preparing your daughter for everywoman's battle" and Steven Arterburn "Preparing your son for everyman's battle" $7-$8 each great series

Ummm...take it from somebody who wasn't taught all the issues surrounding puberty; be blunt and be willing to not with hold anything they have questions about. Find a really good book about puberty, add your own experiences and lay it out there. This day and age, children know so much about alot of "adult" issues. Just be open and let them no that the door is always open for any questions regardless of how embarrassing it is...its better for them to learn about puberty from you than the kid down the street!!!

I found a wonderful book called "The Care and Keeping of You." They have this book for boys and then another one for girls. The author is Valorie Lee Schaefer, and it comes from the American Girl Library or boy depending on the gender. I read the book first then gave it to my daughter, in private, and let her keep it where she wanted. I advised her that if she had any questions or concerns that she could come and talk with me me. A few times later in the week I would ask how the book reading was going and did she like it. This book answers many questions that teens have and subjects are covered on what they may be going through.

Good question! Books, I feel, are a great place to buff up on your anatomy and better decide how you want to approach these changes. Possibly find some great analogies or illustrations. Using anatomically correct terms and speaking matter a factly come recommended. Don't be afraid if the conversation gets a little silly, nature can be a little funny! Let them ask questions, kids will ask for as much as they are ready to hear! Don't expect one big talk, but more open the dialoge so that they are drawn closer to you. Introducing a little at a time is good. Like discussing what the Tampons are on the shopping list. Avoid the idea of blood being gross Ladies! Blood carries nutrients, has the ability to heal, carries oxygen and nourishes a new life...Boogers are a little gross! Perhaps acknowledge your sons natural need for privacy, especially first thing in the morning while his body may be responding to natural physiological changes beyond his control. Let your talks be frank, honest and reflect your values. Puberty can be addressed as a time that provides a new right to respect for their maturing and a natural need for privacy (especially from younger siblings). Talk, share, listen, repeat, repeat, repeat! This will cause you all to grow. Think about your own childhood talk and be the change you want to see! Good luck!

Check out the library! I was just at our local branch this weekend, and there were numerous DVD's you could watch with your children (one for boys and one for girls).

This one was easy for me. My kids were 2 yr apart so when it came time to explain I had a start with that. I went to the libary and got a wonderful tape called were baby's come from. So the lines of communiction have been open from the start. My oldest daughter came to me and told me that she was entersted in sex we sat down and told her the pluses and negitives were. I told her that if you have sex with a person you are not only have sex with him but with every other person they had sleep with before them the other thing is that it only takes one time that you can get pragnet and you had really like and love that other person because you maybe stuck with them for 18 yr.I told her that her and the boy better go get tested before you do anything because you dont want to lose your life before you begin it for 3 minutes of pleaser if she is luck for the 3 minutes. I hope this help you out. Sorry cant help you the son because my husband took the one over boys dont like to talk to there moms about sex but my sons girlfriends did. That was uncomfortable.
hope this helped you
T.

I just left Barnes and Noble Bookstore and noticed there were some great books for boys and girls to read about puberty. You could run over there and look them over and see what you think. Maybe having them read first could help break the ice when you go to talk to them.

I put together a growing up kit for my daughters. They each recieved a make-up bag that had all of the first period stuff as well as deoderent, fingernail clippers, lip gloss, brush, and anything else I could find that would benifit a young lady's hygene. We went through each item and what it is for and how you would know you need it. I also have an anatomy book available you can find one at a thrift store.

I think I was talked to about male and female anatomy, how & why it worked, from my mom when I was about 5. The reason was because I found an anatomy book under my parent's dresser and my Mom found me looking through it ( I have 4 sisters, 3 older one younger and my mom used to be a school teacher and volunteer at the library all the time). My Mom had been teaching a natural family planning course for the church and that was the materials I had gotten into. So I learned super early about the functions of male and female anatomy. The emotional side I learned from having 2 sisters go through it before me. My sister that was right above me, age-wise, started her period two days before me. She was 13 and I was 11. It was fairly humerous because she was mad because I took away her "glory". :-)
Don't stress about it too much. It might seem a little bit embarassing to them to talk about but they might be excited to talk about some of the things too. For your son you might want a man who has been a role model for him (grandfather maybe)talk to him about it. Let him know he can come to you about it also but he may be more comfortable talking to another male who's been through it. It might be a good time to let them know what some of your expectations are as they become more of an adult and more responsible for their choices.
I hope this helps. I don't think it's ever too early to talk about any of these things with any of your kids. My daughter is 4 and I've been going over some things with her already. Mainly because I want her to understand her body and what is okay and not okay for someone else to touch. (Yes I worry about those things)

You just need to tell them the truth and give it to them straight and tell them that god has blessed them to grow up into an adult

there is a wonderful set of books, you maybe able to borrow or get used called God's design for Sex by Stan and Brenna Jones

we let our kids read them as age appropriate and then we let them ask the questions.

knowing that sex is a great thing and not bad but like anything in the right time, right place, with the right person. sex before marriage makes both guys and girls feel used and unworthy. waiting helps us to know that we have a high value and we are worth waiting for!

knowing all feelings are ok but don't need to be talked about to everyone or acted upon, feelings can be talked about to a safe person like mom, dad or trusted counselor then not acted upon. we encourage our teens not to tell the opposite sex all they feel as it would lead where your not ready yet to go...

knowing that we need time first to get a career choice acted upon and dream about our future gives us something exciting to focus on, then we are not only saving our body but saving our future!