Needing a Little Encouragement

I had my first when I was 35, 2nd when I was 37, and my last at 40. It took me 5 months to get pregnant with my first. The name of the game is patience! If you expect it to happen at a certain time, it definitely won't (LOL). There is nothing working against you, follow the adivce of the others and hang in there. If it happened for me, it can happen for you.

Hi N.,
I know exactly what you are going through. I 36 y.o. SAHM (former ELE teacher too!) of a 3 year old boy and we've been trying to get pregnant for #2 for over a year. It certainly is very easy to get discouraged when the first time came so easy! My advice is to continue to do all of the things that you are supposed to do, but try not to let getting pregnant become all consuming - I believe that if you do, you'll end up working against yourself and keep yourself from getting pregnant defeating your purpose. Focus on what a miracle it is to have a healthy child, loving husband and family and give it to the higher powers. I know it's tough advice to follow, but I have a few friends that seriously were unable to get pregnant until they gave up trying so hard only to be successful once all the pressure was off! You certainly are able to have a healthy pregnancy, so I'm sure that it's a matter of time and when the time is right, it WILL happen for you!! Stay positive, believe and enjoy the process of trying with your hubby! Wishing you all the BEST! Keeping my fingers crossed!J.

Stress is a HUGE factor in our bodies ability to get pregnant. More people get pregnant while on vacation than any other time - because they are relaxed! I would recommend drinking a glass of wine on your "fertile" days. If you aren't able to drink alcohol, schedule a massage for the evening on those days. It is possible - I got pregnant at age 35, 37, and 39 - and all 3 times I got pregnant in late June even after trying for several months for all 3 - because for me, the start of summer is my most relaxing time.

Hi N.,

I feel your pain...and then some! My husband and I tried for five years to have our son. We went through countless fertility treatments and medical procedures that only ended in heartbreak. We had two miscarriages during that time as well. Honestly, I gave up after that. I was angry, frustrated, and grieving the loss of my two children. I truely believed God didn't want me to have children. From the time I was a little girl, all I wanted was to be a mother. It was utter devastation to come to a realization like that for me. Three months after my second miscarriage, I became pregnant without ANY assistance from doctors. For the first five or six months, I just waited for what I thought was the inevitable. I was sure this child would be taken from me too...it wasn't! My beautiful son was born healthy! It was a true miracle to my husband and I. He is now three years old and I still can't believe he's here! We always knew we wanted more children, so I never took any birth control from the time my son was born. We had to wait another almost three years before we had my now six month old daughter! This is God's timing, not mine or yours. He is never late either! It is a blessing and a miracle to have children and I thank God I have been blessed to learn that. Now, when I had my son I was 36 years old. When I gave birth to my daughter I was 38 years old. I will be 39 in September and have a 9 month old. I would have preferred to have my children 10 years ago, but I have such a respect and appreciation for what I have that I would have never had otherwise. I say, enjoy the journey...much easier said than done, I know. It is so hard not to focus on the child you want, but instead take that energy and focus it on your baby boy. I sincerely hope you get your heart's desire. God bless you and your family!

D.

I believe that it is a group of African tribes that have high pregnancy rates, and experts attribute it to increased yam intake. They eat a lot of yams. Google it and see what you can find out. I don't know how accurate it is, but it can't hurt!

I've always heard that when couples are consciously trying and trying to get pregnant, that it doesn't work well. I think it's partly stress to succeed.

You're restricting yourself to a tight scheduled means of trying. RELAX!

Hi N.,

I strongly encourage you to go to your local library and check out "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". It's a great book and a huge eye opener. I really believe this will help you.

Good luck!

D.

My situation is different yet similar. We were married for 9 years and never used birth control. I only went through a few procedures and felt I couldn't do invitro or other things emotionally. We were looking into adoption and I found out I was pregnant. We also had another son 3 years after our first son was born. I know it is hard to hear don't give up.......it will happen in time because I was told all those things and it got to be frustrating. I kept hearing how cousins and friends were getting pregnant and it saddened me. So know that is does happen to other people and in the end it does work out. I prayed A LOT! Good luck!!! :)

I have two friends one 37 and one 41 who both recently became pregnant. They found once they relaxed a little and stopped trying so hard it happened. Also I've heard that having sex too much near that time can make your chances less then if you just DTD once or twice around your fertile window. Good luck.

sounds strange but try robitusin(spell?) It has seemed to work for a few other woman I know!

I would strongly advise charting your cycles. Taking charge of your Fertility by Toni Weschler (sp??) is an excellent book to help you learn how to chart.

Fact of the matter is women ovulate on different days, so if your Doc is telling you to have sex on day 14 of your cycle it may not be the right day for YOU. You may not be ovulating at that time. just as an Example I have 30-32 day cycles if I tried to get pregnant on day 14 I would be (typically) a full week AHEAD of my ovulation day as I generally ovulate between day 20 and 22. You also need to know how long your luteal phase is...the time between when you ovulate and the time your period starts...if it is less than 11-12 days you are not going to have a pregnancy because your body will flush out everything before a fertilized egg has a chance to implant. There are drugs and medications you can take to increase your luteal phase if that ends up being the problem. (that was my problem...9-11 day luteal phases I got lucky with a 12 day luteal phase in April...but if I hadn't I would have been at the Dr.'s office seeking assistance)

HTH.

You may have a short Lutial Phase...the days after ovulation. If it is too short you can not sustain a pregnancy. Taking a Vitamin B complex in addition to your prenatals can help.
http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/luteal-phase-defect.html This link may help you understand your lutial phase better.
Blessings, K.

Hi N., I 2nd the stress and the patience ; ) But also, when you have some time - (and I have no idea if you use Teflon pans)...but if you do, you can do a google search on Teflon and Pregnancy to learn about how harmful it can be to our reproductive systems among other things. Another idea is to try learning how to meditate. I did a 10 day sit called Vipassana and when I came home got pregnant in 3 weeks ... I was 35 years old. Just some ideas...if you would like for me to teach you how to meditate send me a private message so we can connect.

My husband and I had trouble getting pregnant the first time. We tried as soon as we got married. But we built our house right after getting married, very stressful. Then after moving in and trying to get caught up on bills, I was working overtime at my full time job plus a part time job. Again very stressful, not much time for my husband and I.

So I quit my part time job, and overtime was less at my full time job. One month after quitting my part time job, I was pregnant.

My point is, stress does a lot of damage to our bodies. If you are very focused on getting pregnant (and it sounds like you are frustrated as well), that may be the big reason why you aren't pregnant.

Question, how is your diet? Are you eating well? You know fresh fruits and veggies, protein, etc? It is good that you are taking prenatal vitamins as you are conscientious about supplementing your diet. Word of caution...don't rely just on the vitamins to help your body. A good diet, exercise and clean water will help as well. Also, here is a test to ensure the prenatals are getting good nutrients into your body. Take a cup of room temperature water. Put the prenatal into the water. If if doens' dissolve in 30 minutes or less, it is going in your mouth and coming out the other end the same way. Not a pleasant thought I know, but this is a test that professionals use to determine if a prescription is getting into the body.

Now to help you relax (and your husband), what about a weekend away. Just the two of you.

Many blessings,

M.