Need to Wean 12-Month Old That REFUSES Everything Else!

LLL published a book on weaning - I believe it's called "Gentle weaning." It has different suggestions for weanking based on different ages. I don't recall the suggestions for 12 months old, but I remember thinking it was really insightful - taking the particular developmental stage into account when addressing weening. Best of luck.

I am a mother of five. I have one girl and four boys ages 14 years to 19 months. I had the same problem with my now 12 year old son and 19 month old baby. I began trying to wean at 12 months. Both nursed until they were around 15 months old. The doctor recommended I leave him for a weekend with dad or grandma. That was not an option for me. I didn't feel comfortable leaving my baby overnight to go through withdrawal without me there to comfort him. After 12 months of doing something, its like a habit. So, when I noticed my younger son was going to be difficult, I began eliminating feedings one at a time. For example, when he woke up in the morning (no nursing) I would go straight to breakfast, for about a week. Then I would only nurse at nap time and bed time. The hardest to break was bedtime. We went through a couple of sleepless nights. I rocked and patted and held him, I continued to offer him the bottle but refused to give him the breast. Eventually my son took to the bottle. I think some babies (and some moms) just need a little bit more time. At that age it is not so much about nutrition any more, it is more about comfort and bonding. It's hard to listen to your baby cry for something you know you can give them and make it all better. They may be babies, but they are very smart. They will play on your mothering emotions. No matter what, do not regress. Once you take a feeding or all feedings away, do not give it back. That will only make the transition that much harder. Continue to offer a variety of foods, a little juice and whole milk. This is one of the first of many battles to come. Stay strong and do it with love. It will be ok. Then you can look forward to battling over taking away the favorite bottle or sippy cup :)

Try the Nuby sippy cups. My son wouldn't take a bottle at all either so my pediatrician recommended the Nuby cups because they are soft like a nipple. I tried water out of that around nine months and then I finally weened him just a couple weeks ago at 12 1/2 months. Now he drinks whole milk and water from it. It will take him a while, he'll probably play with it first and have no idea what to do with it. Just keep at it. Try taking the top off the cup, giving him water or milk straight from it and show him what is in the cup. He'll get the hang of it eventually. Good luck!!

this may sound VERY odd but I had a friend who got sick and was put on antibiotics that was harmful to her infant...........so she put mustard and pepper on her breasts to make it taste bad. It worked but sadly when the antibiotics were done he would not go back to breast feeding; make sure this is something you really want; 12 months is not that old to stop breast feeding. If all you really want is for him to nurse less than I suggest drinking less water and exercise as a way to decrease the amount of breast milk you make and be ready to follow up with a yummy cereal or avocado / banana mix that he will like.
Good luck!
L.

In my opinion.. cold turkey is the fastest less painful way. If you go back and forth, back and forth, because you feel guilty or can't stand to see him cry or whatever, then it's not going to work.

Now I don't mean, cold turkey all at once, because more than likely your boobs will HURT if you do.

When i say cold turkey I mean.. you set a schedule that you want. Say, only nurse once quickly in the morning and once at night. Nothing at all during the day. If he is thirsty, try a straw sippy cup. Some kids think those are fun compared to a regular sippy cup. Just keep busy where there really isn't an opportunity to want to sit and nurse.

Then after about 2 weeks of that (just as he is getting used to that)...stop whichever one is the least important time. Do that for 2 weeks...and then cut out the last feeding.

I'm sure it is just an attachment and comfort issue for him. Being that he is almost just one...he is at the age where he is probably still looking for it for comfort and bonding time with you as well as food. But he is also a little to young still to be completely occupied and full by lots of other "food". I weaned 2 of my three kids...after they were one. (one was 18 months..and she pretty much stopped herself) and the other was just shy of 2 years...and she also was just ready herself (with a little persuasion from me). My first daughter I had to wean at 7 mo. because I was to far along pregnant with my second daughter and we didn't want to stimulate contractions. I did with her, what I just suggested and it went very well. Also, have dad give the sippy cups, not you in the beginning. Then after about a week, you start giving them.

Hope it helps.

Why do you "need" to wean him? You don't really say. You're a SAHM, so not dealing with pumping or any of that crazy stuff. Why not just let him continue until he weans himself? My pediatrician has encourage me to keep nursing my daughter through her second year, the American Academy of Pediatrics encourages nursing for at LEAST one year(not to be construed as the max), and the World Health Organization encourages nursing through age 2. You may have very good reasons for wanting to wean, but maybe if it was just an expectation of being done by now, you could consider letting him go a bit longer.

My daughter just turned one and she still nurses. I'm going to let her decide when we're done. She's slowly losing interest in specific feedings, mostly the daytime ones, but I do give her a bottle of formula to put her to bed (she sleeps longer)and sippy cups of formula or pumped milk during the day. I could not get her to take a sippy until I tried those toss-n-take disposable ones you can get at Target, the superarket: anywhere, really. We get the small 5 oz ones which are just the right size for tiny hands and don't required throwing their head all the way back to drink like she has to with the bigger sippy cups. Try those and let him play with them and make a mess and he might start drinking from it after a day or two if there's not a lot of pressure. There was a kid at our daycare who flat out refused the bottle, but was eventually convinced to drink out of a sippy. Good luck!

You need to replace your nursings with food, not beverages. I would suggest weaning him slowly over several months by cutting out 1 feeding every 2 weeks or so. Replace each feeding with a meal or snack, as your schedule permits. By the time my daughter was 18 months old, she was only nursing first thing in the AM, just before naptime, and before bedtime. I was able to cut out the AM one by offering breakfast right when she woke. The last 2 were harder, but I let her drop them on her own, which she did just before her 2nd birthday.

I am not sure why you wish to wean at this time. Nursing beyond 12 months does still provide many benefits to your child--for his immune system, nutrition, and emotional development. The World Health Org recommends nursing to age 2 for optimal health. It sounds like he is not ready to wean at this point. He may be able to wean more gently in a few short months, when he is ready.

I went through something similar with both of my kids. The first one, my son, took a bottle at the babysitter from 6 weeks to 5 months. Then I was off for the summer and exclusively breastfed (and introduced solids.) When I went back to work in August he would not take a bottle, a sippy cup, ANYTHING! (He was only 7 months old, so he was supposed to be getting the bulk of his nutrition from breastmilk!) What happened with him was he breastfed TONS in the afternoon, evening, and early mornings. As he got used to being at the sitters again he would take more but for about 6 weeks we just gave him all his solids during the day. Finally he took breastmilk from a straw. From there he went to sippy cups and it was all good. He weaned within a week at 14 months old when I found out I was pregnant again.

Now with my daughter, well, she was a pill. She didn't wean until she was 2. I tried and tried and tried, and nothing worked. She cried all night one night. ALL night. She would take a sippy during the day by then but that girl was stubborn! Finally I just quit cold turkey and my husband was on night duty for a while till she got a clue. I made one HUGE mistake which is why I am telling you about my daughter...I quit without weaning or pumping. THAT hurt. Holy cow...it was awful! So make sure you wean *yourself* by pumping and reducing the amount pumped over several days.

Honestly, I would give it another month before I tried again, and then I would gradually (one feeding at a time) try again.

I guess too it would depend on why you are weaning? Are you tired of nursing? Is there a medical reason? Is your husband ready for you to wean? If it's not an "emergency" wean, then I would take your time. He's only going to be little once.

Good luck!

Hi Denise,

I know this can be quite frustrating. My husband and I have 4 of the most awesome children. I find that when I nursed them, they would just take to a regular cup. Try a regular cup. You definately have to put up bondaries and may have to take a few frustrating nights, but I truly believe this will work. Use his blanket and sleep with it. When you get up give it to him. It will also have your scent on it and that will be soothing to him too. The hardest might be staying calm and explaining to him that he is getting to be a big boy and needs to do what bigger boys do. You will know when the time is right. Hope this helps!!!

P.S. Make sure you are also giving him mommy time with just you and him. I know when you are in the heat of the moment it seems like he is frustrating you, but this time goes so quickly. My husband and I are done having children, and I miss the nursing stage sooooooooo much!!! I would love to have those days back sometimes. Enjoy them while you can!!!

Why do you need to wean him? Your breast milk is the best food for him. I think he's telling you that he still needs to nurse.

I went through the same thing with my daughter when she was 1 year old. She never took the bottle or sippy cup, but what seemed to work for her was the gerber straw cups that we are still using now and she is 2. It's a flexible straw that is attatched to a cup that closes. It says it's for 18 months old, but she started it at 1. Maybe this will work for you!
I know how hard it is, I thought she would NEVER stop breastfeeding. She did cry a little and it took about a week. She was also co-sleeping with me, so I had to let her cry a little more at night, but I just stuck to it and it worked. Good Luck!

I have a friend who is currently day weaning her 15 month old. She daps a bit of lemon or lime juice on her breast when baby is asking for "night nights." As soon as she tasted it, she jumped off of her lap and mom gave her a sippy. Worked like a charm for her!