Need Some Reassurance About Poor Sleeper

Dear M.

I had trouble with my daughter also - when all my friend's babies were sleeping through the night. Everyone advised me to Ferberise her, but I really could not bear to hear her cry. When she was 8 months I was simply so exhausted (I was back at work also) that in the end I agreed to try the more gentle version (where you go and rub her back but don't pick her up). It didn't entirely work, but what happened was that it did mean that she didn't scream the way she used to, and would eventually go back to sleep (I also gave her the bottle with her lying in her crib but did not pick her up - but don't leave the bottle in the crib even if he still seems to be sucking on it but seems asleep) Finally I gave in completely and steeled myself to let her cry. It only took two nights - with one bout of crying each night, and now she goes down at 7.30/8 and wakes at 6.15 every morning. Afterwards I did say that I wish I had been able to do it earlier. I think everyone is different - but I did find that the gentle "mini-Ferber" technique helped ME to get to the point that I could try the Ferber technique - and she really did not seem any the worse for it - in fact she seems so much better now she sleeps properly. I hope this helps.....Good Luck!

Hi! I'm a mother of six children and I hope I can help a little. I feel that a child teethes their whole first year of life(it's horrible)! Some kids go through it worse than others. You say that teething might be PART of the problem, but sometimes it's the cause of sleepless nights from the time it starts. I started giving my kids Humphrey's #3. It helped with all my kids. They got much better sleep and so did I! Also make sure to always have a washcloth in the freezer. Give it to him when he starts to drool excessively. I can't tell you exactly when it'll get better...just know that it will!! All the best to you!!

Hi M.,

I am reading the book 12 hrs sleep by 12 weeks old from suzy Giordano. The way she explains everything makes a lot of sence. I had the same problem as you with my oldest son (he didn't sleep thru the night until 4yrs) so I wanted to do it different this time. A lot of co-workers from my husband (a city fireman by the way and retired marine)have done it her way and are absolutely thrilled. So far I am thrilled too but I am only half way.
God bless your husband and good luck.
D.

Boy i can't tell you anything new, you sound like you are doing it just right. Your mom and Mil are right, but it won't take till college, school most likely. Two of my sons did that till school then they were so tired they slept all night, my third son, fell like a rock and slept like one....still does. My daughter, doesn't always sleep through the night and she sleeps in my bed. Not a good thing. But again, in time it should get better. Good luck, just wanted you to know, it will get better, try not to stress about it....if you have to nap with him in the am.

No worries M.,
My son didn't sleep through consistently until he was nearly 18 months and my daughter is almost 11 months and she still gets up at least once a night for a bottle. I put both of my kids to bed awake and they put them selves to sleep, but if they wake up hungry - I feed them, and frankly I don't feel guilty about it! I know a lot of moms with 2 yr olds or younger and I'd say less than a third of them have kids that sleep through the night, so don't feel bad, it's not unusual, in fact, it's probably normal...it will happen in time.
Good Luck

Hello,
I have a 11 month old bad sleeper. She is also teething, but she has naver slept through the night. The longest she has ever slept straight through was 5 hours(which was when she was sleeping with me) and that doesn't happen very often. Like you, I will NOT let her "cry it out", which is why I never ask for advice, because that's always what people say to do. I have a great routine going with her, but she still doesn't sleep straight through. I have come to accept that it will be a lot longer before she can sleep straight through so for the time being I am enjoying cuddling with her at night to help her get back to sleep. Sorry I don't have advice, but one day she isn't going to need me as much so I treasure the time now.
G.

My 9 month old son has slept all night since he was 2 weeks old. Then he turned 8 months....forget it...every night up screeming, and he wanted to play and eat then. He even was still sleeping while he was cying. I spoke to his doctor the other day about it, she said to try feeding him a little bit more before bed. First couple nights he slept good. Last night he did the screaming while sleeping thing, but hes up at 5am. I wish he would sleep till atleast 6am when I am ready for him since I am getting ready to leave for work then. I just started him on solid foods too like chicken, noodles, yogurt. Try the little bit more of cereal before bed to fill up the belly. D.

There's a great book called The No Cry Sleep Solution that might really help you. It's a much more gradual method. It can take a while up to 10 months but it really does work eventually. I'm also a firm believer that some kids just don't sleep thru the night until they are much older. I'm sure your doc will say "Well, they should be sleeping blah blah blah" But talk to some moms and you'll find out that it just isn't the case with everyone. My son is 2 now and occasionally gets up if he doesn't feel well. Good luck

Hi!!! I have the same problem with my son, and he's almost 17 months old...he won't sleep more than 5 hours at a clip and dosen't nap. I wouldn't do the Ferber method either. I realize this is prolably discouraging you...but I just wanted to share. My husband and I feel, that he'll sleep when he's ready, and waking up is a comfort to him. I think it's easier because he's my first, so I don't mind being exhausted. Good Luck!!!! Let me know if you find anything that works!!!!

Hi M., I hope you're getting enough sleep for yourself! My daughters are 16 and 12. First, I'd suggest eliminating or shortening one of the naps your baby takes. You'll end up with afternoon cranky time, but also with a baby ready to go to sleep earlier.

My older older daughter always needed a lot of sleep, but had a hard time getting herself to go to sleep, especially when she'd wake up in the middle of the night. I did use the "Ferber" method. (which by the way is not a "cry-it-out" approach, it's really very complicated.) It took six (difficult for me) days to get my daughter to the point where she could comfort herself to sleep.

My younger daughter was a different story. She never needed sleep. Even as a newborn I don't think she slept more than 10 hours a day. The rest of the time she cried. The two girls shared a bedroom, so I could not do the "Ferber" thing It was too disruptive to my older child to have me in and out of the bedroom all night. So I would comfort my younger daughter every time she woke up.

Long story short, in her case she has never slept through the night. She is twelve and has just recently stopped waking me to tell me she can't sleep. She will now lie on the couch and watch TV on her own. ( I of course still wake up, but she isnt' waking me) I believe some of it is her nature, and some of it is just habit.

Try feeding him a snack before bedtime, and put and extra layer of pajamas on him, or off of him at bedtime. Perhaps he is waking up so often because he is hot/cold.

Also it's not necessarily true that your child is hungry just because he's taking a bottle during the night. Children suck for comfort. If he doesn't have a pacifier, the bottle becomes his comfort tool. He ends up getting calories he doesn't need, and develops the habit of taking the extra meal. He could very well be waking up simply because his body is telling him it's meal time. I'd be interested to hear what you decide to do, and how you're holding up.

Both my children are the same way and I also wondered does anyone else go through this because according to all my friends their kids sleep through the night. Its really hard for me to believe. :) I have not advise for you as I'm struggling with two of them so many you can fill me in too lol
Maybe your son suffers from night terrors? that is one of the the things my dr. told me.

My son is 5 moths old and my daughter is 2

my daughter was never a good sleeper either. like you, just about everyone around me said they're kid was sleeping through the night by 3 months or so...and it was very hard to believe. she just didn't seem to like being in her crib, she would sleep fine with me, but not in the crib. i KNEW that she had to be in there, and asked for advice,EVERYONE told me to just let her cry it out, and i just couldn't stand hearing the screaming, i felt like such a horrible mother! but as the weeks went by i was just too tired to sit/stand there until she fell asleep, so i shut the monitor off for a couple of min (about 10) and when i turned it back on ALL WAS SILENT. i went in the room (VERY quietly) and she was out cold! only 10 min of crying (maybe less since i couldn't hear her). the next night, it was only 5 min of crying, until after a week or so, she just went to sleep on her own (maybe whining a little, just no crying). from time to time she did scream, but i would go in after a couple minutes and tell her BEDTIME lay her back down, put the bottle in her mouth, and walk away. after awhile i still felt bad about letting her cry because now, when it stopped, i would fear the worst. i got one of those video monitors and now i can see everything she does while she cries (or doesn't cry) and things have gotten better on my end. she did sleep through the night for almost 1 month (until she got sick) and now we're starting all over again, waking up at least 3 times a night...and she's now 13 months tomorrow. we have a baby winnie the pooh that has a little pillow that lights up and plays music (up to 20 min) that helped her go to sleep in the beginning (which i would definitely suggest to any new mom, but for older children like yours, it may not work). now that she's older, she just wants to play with it, so i put a radio in her room, and put on lullabies for her. they're loud enough so that if we open the door, or turn on the tv (we unfortunately have to share a room) she can't hear over the lullabies. one has nature, and the other a heartbeat (both with lullabies in the background). she seems to like that, it has made things a lil better. we also put the softest sheets we can find, and she now has a pillow (she seems more comfortable)PLUS a nice warm fluffy blanket (usually just to fall asleep with, once she's asleep, it somehow winds up on the other side of the crib lol). well, i hope that any of my suggestions or ANY suggestions that other mom's left will help. if not, you can always try to make dad put him to bed, that's another thing that worked (this time around) for us....she's no longer interested in mommy because i'm always there, and dad works all day. so when it's bedtime, it's daddy time. well, GOOD LUCK, and if you do find something that works, share...as you see, there are PLENTY of moms out there w/ the same problem.

Hi M.,
I too have a 9 month old who does not sleep through the night. It is VERY discouraging. I breastfeed, so when he wakes, he wants nothing to do with my husband, only me, which makes it even hard. I love my son more than life itself, but I MISS SLEEPING! I also do not like the cry it out method. I have heard it works, but I can't sit around listening to him scream and cry for 40 minutes. I am reading a book called The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems, and so far, I like it, and think the author has some great ideas. I would sugeest you read it if you haven't already. Good Luck, and if you find something that works....please share! :)

When my son was 7 mos old, I decided that it was time for him to learn to sleep through the night. So here is what I did. He woke up the first night at 12:30. So the next night he had to sleep 15 mins longer (12:45), and we would have moved it back 15 more mins every night. But the next night he woke at 11:30, so we let him cry. It only lasted 6 mins. And he never woke up during the night again. You can let him cry it won't hurt him. However, I wouldn't let him cry or an excessive amount of time, definitely not more then 10-15 mins. It won't hurt him, it will help to stretch his lungs out. The longer you wait to do this the harder it will be for both of you. He can do it. He just needs a little push. Also I know lots of people will tell you to give him cereal, it will make him sleep longer. That is a crock, it never worked with lots of people I know, including my own son.