Need Some Advice... - Johnson City,TN

Hi, K.. I agree with the previous posters - get control now or it will just get worse. One thing some moms need to hear is that it's okay for your kids to be upset with you regarding discipline (taking a toy, time outs, spankings, etc.) Kids NEED discipline. Kids WANT discipline. They have to have consistency. Regarding what consequences to set, that just depends on each individual child and how they respond. What works for one might not necessarily work for the others. However, the rules should be the same for each. Just stick to your guns, be consistent and you'll be fine.

Blessings!

I would not take them anywhere fun until they can listen. I would give them a time line to finish there work and if is not done I would stay home for the day. I understand where you are comming from I have four kids all under the age of 6, somedays I feel as though they are running the house. But when I give them boundaries and show respect for myself and those around me they follow suit. I hope this helps a little,
M.

You need to do some major follow through!!! You will need to show the kids you are in control even if that means they cry or you have to take away a toy or a treat and mean it!!!

Keep in mind that YOU are the adult and they are the children and they learn from experience. If you let them have control now you will never get it back and it will only get worse.

I wish you luck and keep in mind that you have to get control now or it will only become worse as the younger are learning via the older one and they already see that bad behavior is rewarded!

Sounds to me like you have your hands full--and they know it!
I agree with the PP that you need to very very consistent in discipline. (I don't however condone spanking, but that is a personal decision for all) No matter how big of a fit she throws you can NOT give in--EVER. All it takes is one time of giving in and they know that they just need to throw a fit for long enough and you will cave. Also, try to remain calm and firm if they are pitching a fit over you disciplining them. If they see you getting worked up, emotional, frustrated then they've found a chink in your armor and will work it as much as possible.

Each child will probably be different in what discipline works. Some kids respond to taking something they love away. My children (8,5, dd2)have to stand with their hands on the wall. (Our form of a time out chair). Yes, sometimes I have to stand right over them to make them comply. It's not for a set time either--it's until they can behave in the proper manner with the proper attitude.

Another thing that works is natural consequences. If one wants to pitch a fit over wearing a coat, fine. Let her go without. Soon enough she will be cold, and will know.

It's much harder to do with more then one, but misbehavior can have drastic consequences. Example: my son would pitch a royal fit in the grocery. One time, he wouldn't calm down, and I left the groceries at the front, took him back to the car and drove him home and put him in his room. He was so shocked that I would do that he never acted up again. It was harder for me, because I had to go back later and re-shop, but in the long run, it was worth it. Going out to the grocery is the priviledge, not getting a toy at the store. Not only did he not get the toy, he also didn't get to be "out".

I actually do that alot--the bigger the tantrum, the further away from your goal you are going to get. Kids going to fight over TV? Then no tv for anyone. ("Whoops, that didn't work") I do use peer pressure too-I don't care who started the fight and I don't want to hear the details--everyone gets the same punishment. That instills in them that they better work it out themselves and not come running to me to be the referee.

Sorry so long. To sum up: Be very consistent. Be calm and firm, not emotional. Natural consequences.

Now is the time to stop it, the older they get the harder it gets. I would say timeouts, no treats and nothing fun unless they can behave. If your older ones can't listen they go to their rooms, for 30 minutes and then try again. You have to be consistent; other wise they will always try you. The 2 year old should get timeouts. It works wonders on my 2 and 1.5 year old. It's either timeout or for extreme cases, bed.

It sounds to me like you just need to find a form of dicipline that works and STICK TO IT!!! I have a boy, so I'm not sure what works really well with girls, but I am a firm believer in spanking. Not every misbehavior deserves spanking, but you can try time out, taking a favorite toy away for a certain amount of time (I usually go with 30 minutes, b/c I don't want him to forget about the toy, and find another favorite, that would defeat the purpose) my husbands cousin actually grounds his 3 year old girl from wearing pink (her favorite color) and that seems to work well for her. You cannot let your children run all over you when they're young because then, when they get older, they'll do the same thing, and be A LOT harder to handle than they are now. Find a special treat that you can give them for good behavior, and then use whatever form of dicipline works for each child. And stay firm with it!! That way, when they misbehave, they'll KNOW what's coming. It may take a little trial and error for you to figure out what works for each child, but in the long run it will be worth it. You'll have better behaved children, and you'll still have your sanity!! I'll keep you in my prayers. Hope this helps.