Need Party Advise

Updated on March 21, 2007
C.S. asks from Fenton, MI
12 answers

My son's 5th birthday is in May. I have decided on a location away from home this year because he wants to invite his entire preschool class. The location is rather expensive, $11-15 per child which includes private room for 2 hours, cake, food and playing on the play structure for as long as they like. There are 18 kids in the class. My question is how do I tell the families that I'm only paying for the child that is in the class and not all the siblings? Does anybody have a not so tacky way of telling the parents I'm only paying for kids in the preschool? Should I put that info in the invitation or just tell them when they call to RSVP? I don't want to offend anyone and I'm will to let the siblings eat our cake and pizza since you always end up with to much anyways, but I just can't afford to pay for 15-20 extra kids to play at $6 each. Any suggestions would be great! Thank you.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all your help! I hope all the parents are thinking the way you all are, this has been an issue for other parents in our preschool so I just wanted to be sure I wasn't being rude about it. Thank you all!

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V.K.

answers from Saginaw on

I don't feel it would be rude at all to add a line to the invitation indicating that other children are welcome to share in cake and pizza, however the establishment will charge a $6 admission to those additional children who wish to enter the play area. As a mom, I would want to know and it would save me the uncomfortable task of asking (though personally I would never assume it was ok). Good luck!

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N.K.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Most parents should already know this. Expecially at age 5; an age when you are most likly to begin dropping of your children reather then attending with them. Make sure you address the invitations to the student.

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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Rachelle,

I can relate it's tough thing to handle in a polite manner. When I had my 4 year olds birthday party I wrote on the Invite Siblings are welcome (only because it was at our house and I could accomodate a lot of people. When my boys get invited to birthday parties I always want to know wheather or not I can bring the other. My suggestion to you is put it on the invite siblings are welcomed but you must pay for their entry fee. Trust me people would rather know then wonder what to do. When people call to RSVP remind them that you don't mind if they bring Sibilings they can eat and drink for free but the entry would be extra. People will understand especially with the economy. Good Luck and Have Fun!!!!!!!!
M.

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K.S.

answers from Detroit on

As a mom of five children, my three older ones (11,7 and 6) have been to several birthday parties like the one you drescribed. Although my girls who are 7 and 6 have alot of friends in common, they both understand that just because one gets inivited to a party doesn't neccessarily mean that the other can go.Parents understand that those types of parties cost per child, and that if you included siblings, that would be an enormous amount of money you'd be shelling out. I think that if you just send out the invites to the child in your son's class, most parents SHOULD understand (being parents themselves!)that you intend to pay for the "invitee" only. You could perhaps drop a line on the invite that any extra pizza from the party could be given to siblings, should the parents decide to "stay,pay and play" with/for the siblings. Hope this helps!

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T.C.

answers from Detroit on

I think the best way to handle it is to put on the invitation "siblings are welcome to join the party for an additional charge, please contact me for pricing" (or something along that line). I don't think that would be a tacky way of putting it. Most people understand that an invitation is addressed to the child invited but there is always that one in the bunch that just doesn't get it.

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L.K.

answers from Detroit on

Rachelle,
Seems like everyone is saying the same thing, so instead of repeating it I'm going to say that Vikki's wording was fabulous and I really liked Amy I.'s too. Good luck and in NO way should you feel odd or tacky or uncomfortable about this in any way. I'm sure most other parents have run into the same problem themselves and appreciated the candor and honesty. Discomfort comes when they don't know what's going on. Have a wonderful party and happy birthday to your son.

L.

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R.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

On the invitation I would write,

Nathan (or whomever) will be free as our special guest. Parents and sibling are welcome to stay and play for an extra $6.00 each. Please rsvp at ###-###-####. Hope to see you there

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T.H.

answers from Detroit on

I would put on the invitation the name of the child invited. If the parents want to bring others this should give them the hint. If the parents tell other children in the family that they are all going then these children will be hurt. Don't wait until they RSVP.

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J.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Rachelle,

Most parents should know that when they get an invitation that is addressed to "one" of their children, it means only that child. They "should" inquire if it's ok that they bring siblings and if and when they do, you can let them know the cost of wherever your party is being held. And then just say "and of course they are more than welcome to have pizza, pop, cake and ice-cream".

Now for the parents who show up and bring siblings and just "expect" you to pay for everyone that's where you have to get your thick skin on and just plainly tell them that their other child(ren) are extra and they'll need to do that seperatly. And again of course they are included in the refreshments.

Your not the one being tacky by the way, it's the parents who assume or try and take advantage of the parents throwing the party that are tacky. So don't worry about it.

I just went to my god-daughters birthday party this past weekend at Build-A-Bear and my 4 year old son was invited but "not" my 9 month old daughter. So while the party was going on I built a lamb for my daughter and paid for it myself. And when my son went over his limit on the what each child was given to build an animal at build a bear, I gave my friend the extra money so it didn't come out of her pocket, as it shouldn't.

Or you could always have the parents just "drop" the kids off (hard at the pre-school age, but doable)then there is no way they can bring siblings. Just another thought.

Good Luck,
J. in Macomb

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A.G.

answers from Detroit on

Maybe try putting on the invitation that you really need them to rsvp so you can reserve a spot for their child because you are paying per child, not per hour and have to have a total head count before the date of the party. Then when they rsvp you can in so many words stress again that you have to pay per child so they can be admitted in and then mention on the phone or the invitation (or both) that if they want to bring one of their sibilings they are more than welcome to but it will cost THEM $6.00 per child. Hope this helps or gives you some kind of idea of what to say.

A.

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A.I.

answers from Lansing on

hello rachelle
i would just put it in the invation that siblings are welcome but there is a charge of six dollar most parents will under stand

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Rachelle,

I have a sure fire way not to be rude. I ran into that problem before and what I did was this. This is the exact wording from my daughters invitation:

Hello Eveyone!

It is(blank)5th Birthday and you are that special someone that is invited to attend. I have 25 slots available and because you are so special to me one of those spaces are just for YOU!

So today YOU and my 25 other friends get to leave our siblings behind and live it up!!!!

Please call my mommy and let her know you are coming...Sure hope to see you there!!!!!

This way each parent can call you individually if they don't take the subtle hint on the invitation and you can explain it when they call to RSVP.

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