Need Ideas to Help Three Year Old

Making sure she gets "mommy time" is important. But it's still going to happen. You might think about having some sort of standard consequence and a "catch phrase" for being too rough with the baby. Then separate them. When she does it, maybe say things like, "Oh no, looks like you're being too rough with the baby. You probably need a little break to remember how to be gentle. Please go to your room. You have 3 minutes to think about ways you can be sweet to your sister. You can tell me everything you think of when the timer beeps."

I started sending my oldest to her room every time she was rough or mean to her baby brother and it didn't take long for her to have "nice hands."

Since you have talked with her several times and nothing has improved it's time for there to be consequences to her actions. Next time she does something that is considered "too rough" in your eyes she gets a 3 minute time out...some where away from the baby. After the time out you explain to her why she had a time out and that if she is rough with the baby she will get another time out. Then you have her apologize to her sister and give her a hug. And of course keep reminding her that her sister is just a little baby and she's the big sister and that she needs to help you take care of her etc. And when your daughter is sweet and gentle with her make sure to reassure her about it and make a big deal about it. Even though your daughter does not mean anything by her roughness, it's still not ok to cause any harm to her sister. She just needs to learn that if she does it she gets in trouble and that's that. It will eventually sink in to her I promise. We went through the same exact thing with our daughters and it worked like a charm.

Wow, this sounds EXACTLY how my son was, and well, still is. However, his started before my daughter was even born. He would try to wrestle with me full term pregnant and take cheap shots at my belly. I couldn't leave my daughter is any sort of bouncer or swing for fear he would hurt her.
It got worse before it got better, but, I will say we are getting more out of the weeds every day. Now they are communicating better and have similar interests. Now we are stuggling with him tempting her to make bad choices. Partners in crime!!!
I did everything in the book to try to get my little boy to be more gentle. I even set aside 2 hours a day for just him. I used all of her nap time focusing on just him, but nothing worked. I am not saying this to discourage you, but just to let you know sometimes all you can do is just keep trying and modeling good behavior, and of course PRAY!
Oh,....I will say one thing that helped. I nursed, but I would pump occasionally and let him give her the bottle. I had to closely supervise, but it was the only time he would do any kind of "helping" activities.

I hope your road will be smoother than mine has been!
Blessings, liz

I have a 3 year old daughter and a 18 month old daughter and the 3 year old is rough with her and I tell her to just be gentle and easy with her because she is still just a baby.

L.

I just wonder if the two of you have "your time" as much now since the baby is more active. I know my daughter gets really "unlike herself" when she is craving attention. She is almost 3 as well and it seems like all eyes have to be on her now. She wants to be the center of attention at home. I know it is really hard to balance, but she might just need some "her" time so she doesn't feel like she has to get all her attention from being with the baby and some negative things she does.
I definitely do not want you to think I am criticizing your parenting at all - that's just the first thing that came to my mind, taking into account my daughter's age and behaviors are similar to yours. I too am a stay-at-home mom and I have a hard time balancing one almost three-year old - You are AWESOME to be doing both. Bless you!

Have a great one!
A.