Big Changes Coming Our Way in Approx 8 Weeks! a Little Brother!

Since the moment I found out I was pregnant with my daughter we included my son in every aspect of my pregnancy. He got to go to the Doctor's appointments, sonograms, etc. Even when we went shopping for things for the baby I would get a little something for him too just so he would feel included. I was told that another way to include him is to buy him a baby doll so that whenever mommy's baby cried and needed attention, he could take care of his baby while mommy took care of hers. The baby doll didn't work out so well but he was really good with his little sister. We still included him in things like getting diapers or pacifier or something to calm her down and he loved feeling like he was needed and important for helping mommy and daddy with the baby. Thankfully we never had a jelousy issue and they're still close. I don't know if that would help you or not but good luck.

M.

I only have one daughter so Im sorry that I cant share anything with you about that dilemma. I have heard of people buying the toddler a baby doll and teach the child how to be gentle with the doll so they are more inclined to be gentle with a new baby, but thats the most Ive heard on the subject. However I do know that using a sponge is a bad idea. I personally would get a clean rag out each time I did the dishes to prevent the spread of bacteria. Anything that is left out like a sponge or dish rag that is wet and left to dry is not a good idea.

1. You will not know how she will react until he comes home. HOWEVER, I would suggest you get a special doll and teach her.

2. I would form outings with the babysitter and friends. Playgroups, go to the babysitter for just a play date, etc. You will want to get out also!

3. I can guarentee you she will be inquisitive. What I did was tell my daughter I am feeding her brother because his food comes from inside me. It is very special food because he can't chew big kid food like you can. He can only have one type of food. I can also guarentee there will be a VERY strong possibility of you walking in and finding her "feeding" a doll. VERY NORMAL!!!!!

My daughter and son are only 21 months apart. My daughter wasn't very soft with him until he was about 3 months old. Then she began the mommying. Get diapers, wipes, etc. She did much better when I told her that she needed to be a big girl and help mommy cause mommy needed her SO much. That is always the biggest thing with a young older sibling. They no longer feel wanted, needed or important. As soon as she sees you still care about her than it will be fine. The regression is normal but will only last a very short period. Especially if you keep telling her that she is a big girl, etc.

As far as washing dishes: the thing you use is not as important as how you wash them. What I do is wash in HOT soapy water, Rinse in HOT water, then I soak for 15 min in a bath of clorox water (very little clorox, loads of water), then rinse in cool water. If your dishes are too sensative for clorox water - then eliminate the last 2 steps. I use a dishwasher so I wash my dishes, then I wash them again in the dishwasher. I too am a fanatic about cleanliness. I also take a rag and a spray bottle with clorox water and clean the light switches and door knobs every night, then spray them with lysol!

Hi there, congrats on the new baby! When I was pregnant with baby #2, #3, and #4 the best thing I found to introduce the new baby was to involve the previous child/children as much as possible. Have them pick out a special little gift for the new baby. Get a t-shirt that says "Big Sis", go to the library for some books on being a big sister. As for the breastfeeding, she will be curious at first but then it will become just another part of the day and she will go play off on her own. And there is nothing wrong with giving the baby a bottle of breastmilk now and then so she can give baby a bottle. If you don't want to go that route or if baby won't take a bottle like mine never did, you can involve your daughter in other ways like helping to burp the baby or change the baby.

These are some ideas that have worked for me, I hope this helps.

A.
mom of 4

I had all the same fears when my boys were going to be 3 years and one week apart, then the doctor wanted to induce on the older one's birthday and they are only 3 years and 16 hours apart.

It will be rough for her to adjust to you holding the baby for those times when you "feed" the baby. My boy took it okay that only I could feed the baby for the first few weeks then the baby adjusted to making the switch and my husband and other family members could give the baby a bottle.

I know the proffessionals say not to do both but I successfully did both for my younger two kids and they bonded with me and daddy because of it.

I found a nipple close to my own shape by Gerber. It was nice to just run the pump 15 minutes before the baby should be fed. Hand them both off to daddy and go take a nap or shower. Often I would do a supplemental feeding afterward.

I did my best to read to the big boy while the baby was sleeping. Daddy took care of the night time routine and we settled in okay.

There are going to be moments though.

Big tried to smother the baby with a pillow once. He would take his pacifer and would poop in his pants for attention. When the baby started crawling Big would pull him around by his feet to get him away from Big's toys. While Big continued to poop in his pants the baby would follow him to the bathroom and well, it was gross to know that the baby put "that" in his mouth but he was fine and Big finally stopped pooping in his pants.

It will be fine. Have fun.

Congratulations to you...soon you will have your sweet little boy and girl! Don't worry she will adjust...just take it easy on her. Any chance she would still be able to go to her sitter's once a week to see her friends? It will be a big adjustment for both of you but when the new baby lays down for nap try to make it your special time together with your daughter. Yes resist the urge to clean up the house...leave it a mess...just a little bit...babies grow up too fast not to cherish every minute...dishes will keep til tomorrow. Put your little girl in your lap, rock her, sing her songs, and read her stories. She will do the same for her little girl one day when she's a mommy. As far as the breastfeeding if you don't make a big deal out of it, she won't either. Of course she will be curious but she is a girl also...no shame in having it all out there! :) I am sure there will be moments when she is terribly rough on the baby but she will learn...just keep a close watch on her. Maybe get her a new baby doll to take care of to teach her how to be more gentle...take it to the dr. appts and see how it is growing just like her new baby...she will turn out to be a proud loving sister...don't worry!

First of all, congrats!

I had my second child July 8, exactly 1 week after my daughter turned 2. I nursed my first for 13 months, and am breastfeeding this new baby as well. The best (only) book I found was by Dr. William Sears. I forget the name, but it's the only children's book he has written. It addresses many of the child's concerns, and specifically talks about breastfeeding. Isn't it weird that no books talk about breastfeeding?

As far as how your little one will react, every child is different. My daughter never regressed in her potty training, but she did regress with sleeping. We are still, 3 1/2 months later, battling bedtime, but i think every child will show their frustration in a different way. Just wait for signals from your daughter that she is ready to potty train, and it will go a lot smoother.
I also let her "hold the baby" whenever she asks, as long as the time is appropriate. I prop her up with pillows on her lap and sit with her. We talk about the differences between "big girls" and babies, and how they are small, soft, and need to be treated delicately.

I give my daughter "jobs", like throwing away the dirty diapers or getting me burp cloths. if you help them feel included and not "in the way", i think they are less likely to lash out.

If you are not fond of saying "nurse", you can say something like "the baby needs her lunch' or a "snack" or whatever, and while she's big and eats food, the baby is still small and has to eat from mommy. I tell my daughter to go pick out any book she wants, and while I am feeing the baby, I read her her favorite stories. It helps her feel included in the process. She did ask a lot of questions at first, but I addressed them immediately and answered them factually, like what I was doing was no big deal. She eventually sort of lost interest in wanting to watch and climb all very me while the baby was eating because I acted like it was not big deal. I think if you try to hide it from her and make a big deal out of it, the more interested she is going to be in wanting to see it all the time. But if you just say "the baby is eating now, why don't you go get me a book", hopefully she won't be wanting to climb in your lap.

Hope some of this helps! Good luck.

My daughter asked a lot of questions after my second was born. She was almost 3. I told her that boobs made milk for the baby and that is how the baby grows big. She even had her dolls nursing on her. She followed me everywhere, so she knew about pads and everything. I just had told her that is what happens when you have a baby and its ok. She took that answer. You don't have to get so descriptive just as little information and she probably will just go on.

You may be surprised about the bond your 2 kids share. My first 2 are 3 years apart, and the have a close bond. My first was all excited during the pregnancy of having a sibling but when she first met her little sister in the hospital she said "take her back." By the time we got home, you couldn't seperate them.

My first child also wanted a little more attention in some areas. We started "our" time where when my second was sleeping we would do something together, like read or play a game. She just wanted to feel like she was included and not left out. She also started "helping" me out, like getting diapers for the baby that I had left out for her, or the wipes, or blankets that made her feel like a big girl.

Sounds a bit crazy where you are! lol For dishes, the washcoth-type dish rags are good because they can be washed but still have a scrubbing-tye surface to help clean easily. Use one each day and wash them with your laundry.

On the subject of breastfeeding curiosity, I took my son (now 14 1/2 months) home for Christmas last year where we stayed for 3 weeks in a house with 5&6 year old nephews. They were curious and asked "what is that brown thing on your stomache that Jaden is biting?" or "what are you doing?" I was honest and told them "This is how Jaden eats. Technicaly it's drinking, but it's like a smoothie - food turned into a drink." The 5 year old then got a thrill out of telling everyone (when drinking his milk at breakfast) that he was "eating" his milk, just like Jaden!" As for "the brown thing on my stomache," I said "It's a nipple." And that was that. Kids will be curious, but nursing is natural and great for your baby, so if you satisfy their curiosity, they can appreciate it for what it is.

As for your daughter and missing her friends and babysitter, maybe you should let her still go a couple of days a week in the beginning. You'll need the time to rest and relax and it will also be a less drastic change for her. I have never had to deal with this, since I only have one baby, but I thought I'd offer my opinion anyway.

Best of luck! Take Care,
Letha W.

Hello Your e-mail made me giggle Been there done it all.
My first son was almost potty trained till my second son was born then every time I sat down to nurse he had to go potty and needed help My first son was two when our second came along. at first He was interested in everything that went on with the baby and I let him help as much as possible I clearly remember always changing the baby's diaper on my big bed so my older son could climb up and talk to the baby as I changed him it worked perfect.also when I would feed the baby my older son would sit in the chair with us I let him see what was going on and told him very simple that the baby was eating and this is how it is done he didn't take to much interest in that it was no big deal to him. When the new baby came home we had a special basket of toys for our first son and those were the toys he got to play with when i was taking care of the new baby We also really pushed the idea that our older son was a big boy now. When the baby sleeps make sure you have mom time with your daughter use that time to do fun stuff and save all the cleaning and junk for when they both are sleeping. After a while when everyone gets into a new schedule the newness will wear off and your daughter will go off on her own and play and she will actually grow to like those alone times. Just remember to relax and enjoy your children it goes by really fast. I am thinking that your daughter is going to love staying home with mom and baby you will become her best friend
she is young enough that she will adjust quickly kids always except change better then we do. OH I just had a thought maybe get her her own new baby doll to take care of and don't be surprised if she nurses any of her babies or stuffed animals I have had friends where there little girls have done this just tell her she needs to be a big mommy to do that.

I always use a rag on the dishes and sometimes two a day but I always change it every day

I just want to say, I tell everyone that is having their second baby this is a major change things are going to be way different so don't freak out, don't stress, everything will fall into place and you are going to have the best time having another baby it just adds to the fun.

I had your same issue. Our son had just turned 2 in June before we had our daughter on September 1. I was really nervous about how he would act with his baby sister. I would ask him if he wanted a baby sister and he would tell me no. He did the same thing with the potty training. I wanted to get it done before we had her. Well we were really close, almost had it down and then she came and it was all over. We had to start all over. That is just something that a lot of kids do. I thought I was done with having to buy pull ups but nope. He went back and forth for a while. Everynow and then he has an accident now but for the most part he does good. A very important thing it to be patient. I am a working mom so it was hard for me to get to really know when he usually would have to go potty. You should have and easier time with her since you will be staying home.

About the Breast feeding. I thought the same thing. Honestly my son didn't pay as much attention to me as I thought he would. Every now and then he would tell me that he wanted to feed sissy. I simply explained to him that only mommy's can feed sissy like that, (he would get a blanket and get ready too like he saw me do). I would tell him when I had a bottle for her he could help me. I am a very modest person also. I would go to the home where I take my kids on my lunch break and feed my daughter and the other kids went in the other room. You will get through it. I breast fed my daughter all the time through her first 10 months then I slowly introduced her to next step formula and milk. at 11 1/2 months she was just on milk and I breast fed her at night. Now all milk. Good Luck with everything. Hope the info was helpful or at least a littel encouraging.

About the breastfeeding...You can do it! Their will be wonder at first, but then she won't even care.
You wanted a funny story, here is mine :)

After being pregnant for an eternity, my new son was born in August. When my two and a half year old boy/girl twins came to visit me in the hospital I was breastfeeding when they arrived. My son hardly noticed, he was busy checking out the room. But, my daughter got this amazed look on her face and climbed up on the bed with me to get a closer look at what was going on. Her eyes got huge, she turned to me and said, "Mama? He's biting your boobie?". I said no, he's is eating. Her eyes got even bigger, "He's eating...your boobie?" and she placed her hands against her own chest and said in fear, "He eat MY boobie?". I almost died from laughter. (I wish I could convey the look on her adorable little face.) Lucas came over and was listening. SO, in response I told them this is how mommy is going to feed the baby, because mommy makes milk for the baby to grow big and stong just like you and your brother. I told her how babies can only drink mommy's milk, nothing else can go in his mouth. He doesn't eat food the way we do, etc.
At first they were a little jealous of the attention that I had to give my new baby. She even told me "put that baby down!" when she was throwing a fit one day. But after that period of adjustment the twins really love their little brother now. My boy always tries to show him his toys...and my girl always tries to comfort him when he's upset. There still are times when they want attention when I'm busy with the baby, but for the most part they understand.
Just make sure to give your older daughter a special time during the day when it's just you and her. And also, include the baby on things you used to do with only her so she gets used to sharing (like when we read together they all sit with me).
It will be easier then your nightmares suggest. And you'll realize how much life is sweeter with your newest!

Good Luck!

Mom to 3 under 3

I'll just second all those-she may do really well, call it "feeding", she may nurse her dolls (she taught the baby-who is now 2-lol), I found I can read to her while nursing, make sure she gets some extra time.

For dish washing, whatever you use, wash it frequently. Sponges can go in the dishwasher. I use a sponge for dishes and a washcloth for surface. The washcloths are changed daily. I believe that the concern with sponges has to do with when they don't try out.

Funny story: the other day my two girls were walking around with balls under their shirts-I'm not pregnant, but we have some friends that are-their bellies were huge!

Hi K.,

In terms of preparing your 30-month-old for seeing the baby breatfeeding, check out "What Baby Needs" by William Sears. It's a children's book that talks about what life will be like when baby comes and includes a page about how some babies use bottles and some drink mom's milk. I used that as an opportunity to mention to my first-born about how our new baby would drink mom's milk. She got used to the idea very quickly once the baby came and it was no big deal. I just let her see what we were doing the first few times and then it was old news.

In terms of wording, I used "nursing" just so she wouldn't go around saying "breastfeeding" which I thought might make some in the general public uncomfortable. I also took opportunities to show her when we'd see animals nursing on TV-- "see, those babies get milk from their mommy, just like our baby."

Something else that was very helpful was that our hospital offered a "big sibs" class. Our daughter brought a stuffed animal (or doll) and the nurse showed the kids how to hold the baby (step 1-- ASK mom or dad, step 2- wash hands, step 3- sit with pillow in lap and let mom or dad give you the baby-- they REALLY emphasized step 1) and talked about baby care and what they can do when the baby cries (such as try to help mom & dad, or leave the room). It was a great class and our daughter really enjoyed it.

Another thing to consider if you can-- let your daughter go to her babysitter for a month or so after the baby comes. That way, she might not equate that abrupt change with the baby's arrival (lessen any jealousy about the new baby coming and changing everything), AND it will give YOU time to care for the baby and yourself for a while.

I think showing your daughter how you nurture and care for the new baby will bring out the nurturer in her. My daughter would often gently "nurse" and rock her stuffed animal to sleep. She asked me once if I would nurse her baby doll to sleep for her while she "ran errands". I don't think it gets any cuter than that.

Good luck! As long as you show your little-one how babies are to be treated gently, you won't have any problems.

In order to help your daughter adjust to the changes be sure to include her in helping with the baby. Have her bring you diapers when the baby needs changed. Let her throw away old diapers, bring you wipes, bring blankets, spit rags, etc. Let her sit beside you while you nurse the new baby and read a story to her and the baby at the same time making her part of it. Let her "hold" the baby with your help while sitting on your lap. Make sure to take special time out each day to do something special just you and her.

On the babysitter......see if it is ok with her to drop by to say hi sometimes. Maybe see if the other moms of the kids she is friends with would like to arrange playdates with you and your child when they are off. Also you can still use the babysitter when you need to get out for a date or just to run errands on your own. You will need to get out some and see adults-trust me-lol! Find local playgroups for your sake and your kids sake. I have been a SAHM for 2.5 years now and just went to our first playgroup/moms group two weeks ago. I wish I had started long before now!

Breastfeeding-We sometimes referred to the baby as drinking "special mommy milk." Also in the beginning when your milk first comes in and you are engorged and tired from delivery there is no harm in pumping/expressing some of the excess. Then your DH/SO can let her help feed the baby a bottle while you get some much needed rest or just get a little break. This lets the dad get involved and bond with the new baby too. We forget that they don't get as many opportunities to do so when we are nursing and providing for all the feeding needs. My 4yo loved feeding the baby a bottle while he sat in the bouncer chair this time around. It makes for some adorable pictures too and increases that bond between the kiddos. Your daughter will be interested in the feeding process at first but will become used to it as time goes on. However expect some uncomfortable questions at some point or another. If she is anything like my daughter watch out for her feeding her dolls the same way you will be feeding the baby. The best thing to do is just explain what you are doing as uncomfortable as that may be. Good luck!

On the dishes.....we use the plastic round scrubbers that you buy in packs of six at Dollar General for $1.00 a pack. Then when they get gross you just toss them out or you can run them through the dishwasher in the silverware tray.

I have three kids. Holly is 4, Hayden is 2.5, and Zane is eleven months old. We live in EL Dorado, KS. I am a SAHM and have been married to the love of my life my DH for 6 years.

Hi K.,
I just wanted to add a few more and agree on a few also.

I would also quit your job before the baby comes if possible. Get you and your daughter on a routine of what our daily plans will be.

Also I would wait a couple of weeks after baby comes home and then start your daughter with the potty training again. My 3rd child was turning 3 in May, I had my 4th child in November, I started potty training her in March and she was going potty by herself after 3 days. We waited until after bringing baby home, the holidays and then we jumped right in with no problem.

As for you older one and the new baby just start teaching to be "gentle", and if there is jumping in the house or things like this you might try to curb that as soon there will be somebody right in the line of fire, so to speak.

Also when my youngest was a few weeks old, my older daughter (3 y/o now) heard the baby crying while I was making her a bottle and she went in the pack-n-play/bassinet where she was laying and picked her up. She had climber on top of a little pooh car we had and stood on the stearing wheel to get to her. I have no idea how she didn't fall with her, and I was just in the kitchen, not far from them.

Also I will say this I formula fed but my daughter still imitated what I was doing, they will ask question no matter what you are doing. Oh and since you are having a boy this time and she is a girl be ready for the question of what is that and why doesn't he look like me ??? The difference between boy and girl parts.

And I use dish cloths, a new one everyday and maybe even 2 or 3 a day depending on what is going on. I'm also a home child care provider so I clean my door knobs, baby gates, high chairs and baby toys with bleach water 200-400 parts per million. I clean every week the whole house, deep clean(chairs, high chairs, toys onece a month).

Copngratulations on the new baby coming, W.. Have fun with your older daughter also. I know I do with my 4.

I think most of what I was going to say has already been said. I have two girls 21 months apart and worried about all the same things.
I would recommend quiting your job a little before the baby comes if at all possible so you daughter can get used to staying home BEFORE baby comes. That way she doesn't associate staying home with the baby. It might help a little.

Hi, my kids were a little closer together then yours will be, but I had some of the same fears. First, quit the job first, before baby comes, so she doesnt put the 2 together, or she may resent new baby, and let the friends come to your house to visit, even better then going to daycare to see them!
The regression stuff is normal, dont put to much pressure on her to be a Big girl it might make it worse. Here is where her friends will be a big help, if they are with her at her home, she is more likely to act her age. so schedule a couple play dates each week for a few hours, and the problem will solve itself.
Breast feeding, we are Christian so it was easy for us. We told our son that mommys breast was the Bottle God gave us to feed the baby with, and it has milk in it all ready to go. Yes he wanted to see how it worked, and yes he would watch at first, so I let him see the whole process and once he was satisfied that he knew what was going on, it was no longer a big deal. As an added bonus, if you are in public and he mentions you feed the baby with the bottle God gave you, or with Gods bottle, people with that know God will know what he means automatically and think awww how precious, those that dont will be confused and afraid to ask. I never once had anyone question my child, not even people I knew.

Answser to the question of the day..... a clean wash cloth every day, if you let the wet ones sit between laundry, like most of us do, just put a little bleach in the wash and dont use fabric softeners on your dish rags. Sponges have been proven to harbor bacteria, simply because it takes so long to dry, it becomes a perfect breeding ground for dangerous germs. Brushes can get the germs and water lodged into the base, however, if it is a plastic bristled brush, you can soak it in bleach for about 10 mins before you put it away and all bacteria will be killed. I personally do not use brushes and especially sponges on the advice of our pediatrician, as both of my now teens have serious health concerns and are very suseptible to such germs.

I hope this helps you, good luck with your new little baby boy.

I don't have anything to add beyond what everyone has already said. Just make sure and involve your daughter with the new baby. Our son had to have several eye surgeries so we have had a hard time keeping our 2 year old daughter from touching his eye. The more you tell a small child no, the more inquisitive they seem to become but in this circumstance we could not avoid it. We make sure and offer her alternate places to touch, so she tickles him on his tummy and under his chin, etc. She loves to help with everything.

When I was home on maternity leave I breastfed and when she asked "what doing" I told her he was eating baby milk from mommy and that she did the same thing when she was a baby. She watched for a while and then went back to watching Barney. (Yep we are a Barney family never thought I would say that!) The funny breast feeding story that I have is after I went back to work and started pumping, it just became easier to give my son bottles of breastmilk all the time. So, my daughter sees me pump at home in the evenings. She knows it is how mommy makes "baby milk" and will help me get out all the parts and put it together. The funniest thing was the day that I got it all hooked up and then had to get up and do something. When I came back my daughter was sitting there, holding the bottles with breastshields on her chest. She smiled and said she was "punpin". Generally speaking she helps me hook everything up and then goes about her business. She just likes to help with everything including diaper changes. You'll be amazed at how well you daughter adapts.

Hi K., I just recently went through all these changes as well. I have a 2-1/2 year old little girl and a 6-1/2 month old little boy.

Much to my surprise Jozie was not at all jealous of her little brother. She wanted to hold him all the time and still does. In fact we have to watch her because she thinks she can do everything to him that we do. But she hasn't been rough at all with him as far as meanous goes. Now she may get a little rough with him if she's trying to pick him up. I definately have to make sure I'm in the room with both of them at all times or put him in the pack-n-play so she can't get to him.

As for the breastfeeding. I think Jozie only one time what I was doing. I just told her mommy was feeding the baby yummies. She was good with that answer and didn't ask again. Now on the other hand there were numerous times when she would get her baby doll, lift her shirt up and tell me she was feeding her baby yummies. You just had to laugh.

But things will be fine I'm sure...and as far as your daughter not going to her babysittings anymore. Maybe you could make arrangements to go visit the babysitting for a few hours every now and then so she can still see her friends.

Good luck!! It's lots of fun but you'll also be very busy with them so close together...trust me I'm learning from experience.

Congratulations on the newest member of your family. You might be surprised at how your oldest responds. I have four children and they all did very well each time there was a new sibling. My oldest one wasn't potty trained when I had my second and within a couple of weeks he had decided on his own to be a big boy and use the potty all the time. As for the babysitter and friends I would suggest depending on your relatinship with the sitter that you make playdates with her. If she is a stay at home mom stuck in the house with kids all day just as you are then maybe your could get together once a week or every-other week to let the kids play and you two could have adult conversations. The breastfeeding is easy, as everyone else has said. Just tell her that mommy's make milk and that is how the baby gets it's milk. Animals do the same thing. Best of luck. Don't worry it will all fall into place. C.

Congrats dear! Remember to enjoy it and not be to spooked your daughter will adjust and you will be amazed at how tender they can be with babies. When I was pregnant with my second, I pulled out all the baby stuff and set it up closer to my due date. I put a doll in the swing so he knew it was for the baby, I let him check out and sit in the bouncy seat, I did all of these things so it wasn't "new" when the baby got here. We also practiced holding the doll and let the baby sit in the swing and bouncy seat. Then I took him to the store and we picked out a blanket for him to give to the baby. I also let him play with my belly and finger paint it so it was something fun!! Like others said make them a part of everything. I have always let my kids hold the baby when they ask, I've tried really hard not to make the baby a forbidden thing. Kids are even more curious when they aren't supossed to touch!
I have breastfed all 3 of my kids now. I called it boob juice. Not sure how it started but it stuck. My boys have crawled right in my lap to see exactly what is going on. Both started to lean in as I explained (I think to give it a try) my husband and I just explained that he had it also when he was a baby and it is special milk just for little babies. The curiousity goes away pretty qquick if you just let them check it out.

Hi K.,

First, your daughter should be told the truth about breast feeding. You can still be modest about it and explain to her that God gave women breast to feed their babies. If you breastfed her,then you can use that as an example. She is going to want to see.. and that is okay. If you try to hide it from her, she will become more interested. However, if you show her once or twice then she will probably lose interest.
I did the same with my girls. I breastfed them for the first year of their lives. If your daugther wants to feed the baby, then pump your milk into a bottle and let her feed the baby. She is probably going to imitate you during this process. This is a totally normal thing so don't freak out.
On your question about the compatibility of your future son and your 30mnth old daughter.. She will probably surprise you! in a good way... When my youngest was born, I was freaking out because of the exact same thing. I was told by my Pediatrician at that time to tell my oldest that my baby was her baby. I was also advised to encourage my oldest to help with anything and everything. So I did, and wow, was I ever shocked to see just how nurturing and loving she was to the new baby. Everything your experiencing is normal. All of us Moms' are here for you if you need anything!

Good Luck!
F. M.