Need Help with Three Year Old!!

she is trying everything to get your attention your family is changing and she needs time, love and patience. all the attention she used to have has changed wether it's to the problem between you and her father, the new baby, the change in your body and activity that you used to do. all of this might be lot for all of you, you might want to check with family and friends for play dates, sleep over to bring her a sense of normal and fun, to be alone with your partner. try to spend quality time with her to reassure her that she is still your favorite while teaching her hitting is not ok even when you are frustrated. good luck toyou and your family

There is a great book out that can help with your relationship with your husband. E-mail me if you intersted. My daughter was the same way. She is 3 1/2 years older than our son, and the day he came home from the hospital, she would pinch him and make him cry. She was the only grandchild for a while and now there was competition. Now the kids are 11 and 7 and they get along great. Once we gave them each their own time with us as they got a little older, our daughter really changed. It was a long strugle. They still fight like brother and sister, but the hateful attitude she had when he was an infant finally went away!!!!!!!

It sounds like your intuition is telling you that your daughter is reflecting some anger that she is picking up on between you and her dad. If fights are happening in front of her, then she will surely reflect back to you all the anger she hears. Children her age absorb everything like a sponge, soaking it all in and squeezing it back out. It would be so good for her if you and her dad could agree not to fight in front of her. Set up some boundaries and expectations for your conversations/ disagreements.
All children feel some sibling rivalry. It's good to empathize with her. The first child doesn't understand that the parent/child relationship is not exclusive. They were the ONLY child, and now they're not. When another child comes along, it feels to them like it would feel to a woman whose husband takes another wife. Be sympathetic to her feelings of being displaced, and set her up to be your big helper. Talk to her about how important her role is. The more you involve her in caring for her sibling early on, the more she will learn to be compassionate instead of jealous.
Hope that helps. Good luck and God bless.
C. at Loving Hands Family Child Care

P.,

Let me assure you that your daughter is perfectly normal. I teach a sibling class at a local hospital. I strongly recommend you call the hospital where you'll deliver and ask about a sibling class. If they don't have one, they'll recommend a hospital that does (most major hospitals have them).

Here's what I tell parents with this concern. Remember that your daughter has had just you and her father for her ENTIRE life and now your tummy is big and everyone's excited and talking about a new baby. Her world is about to be ROCKED!

Keeping that in mind, treat her with kindness and compassion and at the same time, set limits and boundaries. I set just a few rules for my daughter when I had her sister. Keep it simple, be consistent, and be loving.

One more thing, perhaps you and your husband can set some limits and boundaries around your disagreements. Keep that simple too! You can have a hand signal like putting your hand up and say "stop" when an argument is getting heated in front of your child. Children learn how to treat others (including us) by what WE model for them. TV is not the culprit. It's us. And you, as her mother, are the most powerful role model in her life. Your husband is the role model for who to marry. Keeping that in mind, you two should act accordingly. No one is perfect and your children don't need you to be. They do need to see examples of people working it out with loving kindness most of the time.

Research dictates that a three-year span between siblings is ideal. So, you've got that part right!

Good luck and keep the questions coming!

Hows your situation going? If you need anymore help let me know.

L.
atlantafamilycoaching.com