Need Help with Potty Training Older Sibling

sounds like he might be trying to get more attention from you but in a negative way. Probably thinks that if he acts like a baby he'll get the attention he craves. Change your focus, let the training become less important because now it is a power struggle. Do special big brother activities together and let him know how cool it is to be growing up. Don't worry, they all want to use the potty when they see other kids their age doing so. Invite some kids over that are trained and let him know that you have every confidence that he'll do the same, but don't make too big a deal out of it.

I am 59 years old. I raised 6 children and now have 4 grandchildren. My first 4 children are boys; the last 2 are girls; all my grandchildren are boys! Here are my suggestions to you: Your son is mimiking the baby. Get him interested in other children his own age; have an exchange "play day" 2 or 3 x a week with a friend. Enroll him in preschool 2 days a week, then 3 days a week. Let him see how "real big brothers" behave (ie, using the potty, washing up, etc.) Also, take advantage of a "Mom's Morning Out." We have one at our chuch in Colts Neck. You drop your cherrub(s) off and take some time for yourself. (See the info at http://www.coltsneckbaptistchurch.org/ Scroll down to "Mom's Morning Out" in the center of the page and click on the link for more information.) When you leave your youngest with trusted folks, you can spend some quality time with your son, doing big-boy things that require using the potty if he wants to do big-boy things with Mom (taking the focus off baby and putting it on him). It will all work out, provided he absolutely does not have any medical problems, or there are no traumatic emotional problems associated with him using a potty that is child-sized. Don't expect him to feel comfortable on the "big" potty. Sometimes that scares children, especially if they've had an experience of almost falling in. Also, the flushing noise may frighten him: he sees his "prizes" going down the dark hole and it may be a fearful picture for him to cope with. Children cannot express their fears so we can only imagine and guess what they might be; and we don't always know "why!" So, I strongly suggest you get your son involved on a regular basis with other children his age. If there are no serious problems with him, then the "pooping in the potty" will soon become the norm again. Above all, pray for guidance. I hope these suggestions help. ~EL

Hi Karen,

My friend sent me a flower from this site and somehow I got to your post. I live in Jackson too!! I had the same exact problem with my older son who is now turning 6. At the age of 2 1/2 he was fully trained for peeing but he was afraid to poop on the potty. He actually did it once and then got scared. He did everything he could to hold it in until he would finally go in his underwear. He used to beg me to put a pull up on him just so he could poop. At the advice of a friend I did what she did. I took out the little potty and told him he had to poop on the little potty (less scary). I took off his underwear and had him walk around for the whole day with no bottoms on. I know it sounds weird but for some reason it seems to work. They don't want to just go on the floor so when they really have to go they end up running to the potty. It was a very stressful day but he finally did it and then he did it again the next day and the next and by the third day he was completely trained and was not afraid anymore and then started to do on the big toilet. I wish you luck. I know how stressful it is when you really need to get them trained and you don't want to push too hard.

My 4yr old when was 3 did the same, one day we just said that is it, no choice, " the cat took the big-diapers away for her kittens as she needs them for the little babies" so there are no more diapers at home, she has to go in the potty that is the only choice, we will help her, She is doing a great service for the kittens after all the cat needs it for the babies.

After that never once anyother way, only potty.

One of the things we have done with my son is I put up a shelf in the bathroom and I bought some of his favorite things cars, trains, bob the builder toys and I took them out of the package and put them on the shelf and told him when he went poop on the potty he could take some thing from the shelf. These were his special rewards. Now he is 4 and we still sing and dance and I have a special bag a treats just for potting. (I also have a 2 year old that I am training and the 4 year old likes just as much attention)