Potty Training My 3 1/2 Year Old Boy

Okay, so this is tricky. My son is almost 3 years old (yikes) and we've just started. I don't think is about manipulation or testing limits, it's about being ready and comfy with the process.

My Mom, me and his teachers at preschool, do potty checks and we take him to the toilet and have him sit on his potty chair. Even if he doesn't go, we wipe, flush and wash our hands. We try to do this every hour, so that he gets used to the idea. Boys are tougher than girls to potty train. But, there is a great book by Elizabeth Pantley that I read and loved that helped me with ideas and how to encourage my son.

Even his preschool teachers say it's a road that shouldn't require battles or being forced...just be patient and consitent. I have a co-worker whose little boy didn't potty learn until 4, so it's a challenge we just have to offer guidance.

Good Luck!

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071476903.php?nid...

Start off with having him sit on the potty when he gets to your house, after naps aftyer meals. that sort of thing. even if he doesn't go as long as he sits for 2 minutes he will start to get the idea. also try putting on underpants for an hour or two a day to get him used to it. keep thi up for a couple of weeks then start in on using the potty on a time line like every 30 min. at his age he should pick it up quite well.

Wow, what a wonderful mom & grandmother you are to be helping out so much. I hope they appreciate you! We really struggled with our 6 year old and we are now in the process of training our 3 year old. I am much more relaxed and patient this time around and it is going more smoothly. Waiting until they are completely ready is the key. The best incentive for both of my boys was getting to wear big boy underwear with their favorite characters on them. Some kids, especially boys take longer. You also might want to talk to his pediatrician. There may be psychological issues involved since it doesn't sound as though he gets to spend much time with his parents. I would explore that possibility.

Hello, My husband and I had custody of one of our grandsons for three years (from 5 months to 3 1/2 yrs). I was also daycaring our older grandson and had been since he was two months old. It is a challenge, but what I did is put the one I had custody of into a "Mommy and Me" program. I also put him into a toddler gymnastics program. We went to the park and he played with other children as well as his cousin. I took them to the library for "Story Time". There are many programs out there to help with interaction. I actually babysat the next grandson as well and am currently co-babysitting our newest grandchild who has Down's Syndrome (one of my daughters is the other sitter). You can even start him on the computer (with lots of supervision) this early. In fact, I started our grandson that we had custody of at 18 months. He was able to do some basic things and now at 10 years old he is in an excelled class (as is his older cousin) and is computer saavy. I think that when these children have caring grandparents to watch over them, they are more advantaged than going to full time daycare. (I also did licensed daycare when our children were growing up.) Good luck, and you are going to do so well.
K. K.

hi we trained our son when he was 3 and half after two weeks made him sleep with underwear when he didnt llike the wet he was upset so we just kept doing that and also made he pee in toilet day and night asked him to go to bathroom every 20 min i kept him with me for thee to five days straight till he got the hang of it. you will b fine.
C.

M. - best of luck with the situation.
Please wait for the emptional readiness mentioned earlier. I forced my son when he was 3.5 , to get him into pre-school, and for 2 years now he has wet his pants every single day, sometimes 2x a day.:( The stress has been like an ear ache in our family.
On the other hand, my cousin waited until her son brought up the issue, he saw other boys using the potty and wanted to train, so he was trained in one weeek-end and has been completely, totally dry night and day, ever since. Never an accident in a year.
Now with my second son - I am completley hands off. He showed great interest at 1.10 - but then it waned. I am ready to wait it out, I learned the hard way.

Good luck whatever sourse of action you decid on.

If he is not ready, wait! I quickly scrolled down your answers so far, and I think that there are some useful tips, though you probably knew them already. Most pediatritians these days encourage parents to wait till the kids are willing and happy to go potty. If you push them before they are ready, you are in for a long fight. I like the tips that you have gotten -- especially the parts about giving rewards when he goes. But please, please ignore the ones that say "he is definately ready at 3 1/2.. the earlier you start the better...". They are not in your shoes, and they probably are going by their distant and filtered memories of what happened a long time ago. When my first child was uneasy with potty at 3, I asked his doctor for advice. She immediately suggested that I wait till he was "emotionally" ready. She told me her own son was not potty trained until 4. Sure enough, without pressure, without undue worries, my son went potty within 2 days when he was 3 yrs and 8 months and never went back. You are a great grandma, and best of luck to you.

I am the mom of three~one girl and two boys! My daughter trained herself at the age of 2, so when my first son showed no signs of wanting to go at 2 I waited! At 3.5 he was just ready, so he said he wanted unerwear and that was that =] Same thing with the baby, who I thought would train earlier since he is only 13 months younger then his brother. But two months ago at 3.5 he was also JUST ready and now I am done with diapers. I suggest that you get books and movies about using the potty, and talk to him everytime you have to change a diaper ~ let him know what as soon as he is ready he can use the potty. I did this with all three kids and had no issues of accidents, no rewards, no running to the bathroom every time some alarm went off. I did not tell them to sit there every 30 mins ~ which seems more like a punishment then anything else. We TALKED about it, watched movies on it and read about ~ it got the idea into all thier little heads. So when they were ready they were READY! I did give lots of hugs and kisses when they used it. So far all is well! Good luck.

M., at 3 1/2 years old, there is no reason for him not to be ready,, most 3 1/2 year olds go to the bathroom on the toilet on their own. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, kids have a way of manipulatin situations. If he is a normal 3 1/2 year old with no health issues, I would get very firm with him, being potty trained is better hygene for a child that age, it's going to take love, discipline and rewards to win then task. Being the grandma it's hard, things are diffrent now, I believe the earliar you start the easier it, one thing being they are not set in their ways yet, and anything we do long term becomes habit. I'm 52
and I trained my kids early all before 2, my second child a son was potty trained at 19 months, all 3 of my kids were using the regular toilet by age 2. Enjoy being a grandma, that's the only thing that i feel is missing in my life is grand children. J. L.

I give you credit for caring for your grandson for 12 hours a day.

My Mother In Law... she claims she toilet trained ALL her kids and the grandkids in like 1-2 days, before 1 years old. She simply left them bare-bottomed, all day, and took them to the toilet every hour. (she has hard flooring, and no carpets anywhere, so she was able to do this). She basically did a potty-training boot camp, over a weekend. But, it's not like the child was then COMPLETELY toilet trained right at that point... they were just immersed in it, over a weekend. They still, on the parents parts, had to reinforce it and still potty train.

To me, potty training is a process... not a 1-2 day thing and that's it. Needless to say, I am the polar opposite of my MIL's approach. I don't believe in 'assuming' a child is going to manipulate you or mis-behave about it all. Each child is different, per their emotional development and incentives.

Just get a cute little potty chair or toilet seat ring, let him choose...and then try it. And like Deanna Leigh suggested that her son's preschool does. But each child has their own level of comfort and readiness. Just like anything else.

Just take your time.... consistency is the most important, versus 'forcing' the issue, or using 'control' tactics.

Good luck,
Susan

reward him with fruit popsicles, go to the bathroom with him when you go, make it fun!

I kept putting my son in underwear and he would just keep peeing everywhere! I tried everything the doctors and books told me to do!!! But one night my husband took my son in the bathroom with him and he's been doing it ever since! He calls it, peeing like Daddy.

I'm a grandmother & helped potty train 2 of my 3 grandsons.
I like you had them alot of the time some times 7-days a week. Try putting him on the potty every few minutes. Try putting cheerios in the potty for him to pea on. Take him to the store & let him pick out his own underwear. If he messes his underwear or wets them make him rinse them out.
Give his small rewards if he potty in the potty & not in his underwear. Like pennies or a couple of those fruit snacks or M& M's. The oldest of the 2 broke in 2-3 weeks when he was abt 1 1/2 yrs old. The other one was 2 1/2 both we started working with when they were abt 12 months old by sitting them on after a nap & etc. abt ever 15 min & making them sit for 5-10 min. And both when they decided to break just did it on their own in a couple of weeks.

He's ready. Unless there is some medical reason, or developmental reason, at 3 1/2 he should have all he needs to do it very well, enough height to reach the toilet, (use a step stool that is very wide and safe, if needed), ability to stand and sit alone, know the difference between wet and dry, has the sensation before he goes. It should all be there in spades by 3 1/2. He seems to be lacking motivation. Is there an emotional reason? New baby in the house? I have had good luck with a book called "Toilet Training in Less than a Day" by Foxx and Azrin. The method was actually developed to train developmentally delayed adults who were not toilet trained, and it worked so well that they modified it to work for toddlers. I have used it to train dozens of children, and while I have never seen it work in one day, it always works in a week or two. If the practice after an accident weems oppressive (pants are not changed until after the practice), you can cut down the number of practices. It does serve to motivate the kids. If they can get perfectly clean and comfortable within seconds of soiling themselves (by you changing them), why should they learn to do it differently. My Autistic son was peepee trained at two, and not poop trained until five, but I still used the method, when I decided I couldn't take it any more, I just enlisted extra helpers (tutors, babysitters, relatives), to make sure that we were using "the method" 24/7. He was reliably trained within a week. But if your child is not disabled it should be easier than that.

Aren't you awesome!!?!!

My son didn't potty train until 4 1/2. I'm soooo glad I didn't force him to be on my schedule! Boys are notoriously later than girls at this I have read....

What worked was not what I did but it was when he realized that all his friends were done with the diaper thing he wanted to too!

Then we used the Pull-ups. (Before that we only used cloth.) It only took a couple of weeks for the whole process to be over...because HE was ready.

A cute tip: Use Cheerios floating in the toilet bowl for him to aim at when it is time for him to stand up and do it. He loved it and so it was fun and easy for him.

Also if he is around mostly women it helps for him to see men or older boys go to the bathroom, then it became a big boy" thing. Every little bit helps, right?

I did have to close my ears when other people told me he had to do it their way....but YOU know him better than they do! And he is the best authority on himself! I promise he won't go off to college in diapers!!!

Plus I think it is respectful to let them do things like this on their own time. How would you feel if someone were trying to regulate your bathroom activities? From a psychological perspective a very controlling potty training really ends up warping them anyway.

No worries, just be the loving caring Grandma that you obviously are. KUDOS!!

Blessings,
Deb