F.C.
A 9 year old wetting himself might warrant a trip to the pediatrician to see what is going on.
I just read a book called "Raising Cain" and it talks about how we don't raise our boys to have emotional intelligence. Like we talk to them to "tough it out" and "not be a sissy." It suggests that we should acknowledge our kid's feelings. There is another book that does the same "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" So, rather than just telling your son to take a shower, say "You look dirty and I see your all itchy." Then PAUSE and let him come up with the idea to shower. If he doesn't say, "You look uncomfortable. When I feel that way, a bath really picks me up." Don't argue with him. Say "It's bath time in 5 minutes" and stick to it.
Good luck,
F.
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