Need Help with Clingy and Whiny Child

This is a stage. I know everyone will tell you the same thing. Is your child fully walking? If not she will be soon. This is the edge of a huge development, either before or after a development. I am guessing fully walking or talking in full sentences? She also sounds like she is about to go through a huge growing spurt. She may need more sleep and more brain food.
But, this can also be a sign she is not feeling well, you will just need to watch and see.

If she is about to meet a development, help her to accomplish this. If it is walking, help her let go and to walk on her own. If she holds onto a toy at the same time that you hold on, but you know she can walk on her own, as she is walking let go on your side, sometimes they will continue to walk and not realize you have let go. If it is talking, help her find her words more often.

Give her tasks to help you rather than picking her up (distraction). Ask her to bring you the dust cloth. Ask her to help carry your grocery bag. Ask her to reach into the mail box to get the mail. Ask her to help sort the laundry. If you are cooking or cleaning in the kitchen, put her in her high chair and have her "clean her tray" Have her "Clean some dishes" on top of the tray with one wet cloth and one dry cloth. Up high she can watch you prepare meals. tell her all of the things you are doing.
Sometimes, I would also put my child on my back in a carrier while I did tasks. She loved being able to look over my shoulder at what I was doing. Vacuuming, making beds, even raking leaves outside.

Ask her questions. Do you want an apple or an orange? What color are your socks? Do not always expect a correct answer, but when she points, tell her the correct word if she cannot grasp it.

She is a little bored and thinks what you are doing is more important than her playing on her own. You may need to help her play on her own. Get a big box and let her climb in and out. Make a tent with her blankets and pillows. Hide toys and play hide and seek.

Remember to also get your husband to play with her more. This will make him a playmate as much as you and can give you a break.

Hi Traci,

I am also a SAHM and my daughter did the same thing. I could not get anything done because she was always wanting me to hold her or to sit right next to her while she played. She just turned two and is now starting to play by herself. I started taking her to Gymboree so she could do some activities by herself but with me watching close. This really helped. She still will use a whiny voice every now and again but I just tell her she needs to talk like a big girl. Hope this helps.

I really love the response below. It really probably is a phase.

I'm also going to ask if she is getting some teeth, coming down with something, or having disturbed naps? It could also be excitement around the holidays making her feel different? It could be that something is going on that is making her clingy.

That said -- I would say -- when she is starting to be so clingy (and you've tried feeding, diaper changing, etc.) start an activity with her (like the leap pad, stacking cups, etc.) on the floor and once she is engaged -- then move up to do something else.

And if she is almost walking, that's going to completely change your world and give you a whole different amount of worries and freedom. :)

I had a similar circumstance happen to me with my 23 mo old son. His clingy behavior was the result of an ear infection. There were no other outward signs, only that he wanted no one else but me and he was very whinny. I would never have caught it if not for a pink eye infection he began to develop as a side effect to the ear infection. After we started him on antibiotic he was MUCH better. This may not be the reason for your child's behavior but it couldn't hurt to find out.
p.s. My sons is not the only case like his

I've been through a couple of whiny, clingy stages with my almost two year old. It is always worse when she is sick, but sometimes she just wants to be with mom. For us, it was worse if I didn't give her the extra cuddle time.

That being said, I have a Calyx backpack carrier (a mei tai with buckles www.mamabydesign.com) that I use when she insists on being held--I also use it in the grocery stores, airport, doctor's office. I pick up, hug and cuddle and very clearly tell her that she will have to go in the backpack. Sometimes that is all it takes to convince her to play by herself...other times she really wants to be with mom and will happily ride while I work.

There is no eating, drinking, playing in the carrier so she often will get bored and want to move onto something else.