Need Help with ADHD Nephew and School

Hi S.,
I hope the link below works. It the most awesome short video called "Animal School". It's about all the different styles of learning in children and how often schools and teachers deal with these differences in a negative manner.
It comes from a board I am a member of which I love called, Raising Small Souls. (www.raisingsmallsouls.com)

http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/wp-content/themes/179/as...

M.

I hope I can help, I have three boys all with ADD, and one with behavior problems throughout the years. The new schools should evaluate him on their own and at first dont show them the other schools reports so that they can make a honest opinion for themselves, without predijice. My boys are quite active and impulsive to say the least but with consistensy and a tough love policy things can get better. My children all take medication, different ones and doses depending on their issues and size but mostly Streattra it is not a simulant like Concerta or Ritalin but it helps them focus and being able to listen. Their brians are working so fast and are only centered in their own world that they need to be slowed down for them to comprehend the world around them outside of themselves. If you would like to know more feelfree to contact me ____@____.com I have worked with schools regarding my special children for years, it can be very overwhelming.

Everyone else's advice is great. I would like to add one thing though; once your nephew is in the special ed system, which he is, your brother and your nephew has rights, that the school's don't always honor. I suggest also,like one of the other responders, that your brother immerse himself in a website called Wrightslaw.com. He will learn all about what is to be expected, and what to do step by step if it doens't go that way. I wouldn't rely on the school to diagnose a learning or a behavioral problem. The new school may be the best thing for your nephew, a fresh start with hopefully, a caring staff that will get to the root of the issue and get your nephew on track. Good luck!

It is very important to get a working relationship with the school. The behavior treatment would be more helpful if it is done at home and at school. Some teachers are just better at communication than others. Also, if he has been tested, then he should qualify for extra help (is he labeled as emotionally impaired?) You may also want to look into hyperlexia, a form of autism. My nephew had some of the same symtoms that you are reporting (advanced reading with low comprehension), and they discovered this is the real problem, not ADHD. If you do not feel the previous testing was accurate, you can request further testing from the schools or for a second opinion by a private psychologist, which the school can be required to pay for. I would definitely look into his problems more. If they are trying to correct the wrong thing, it is not going to be helpful to anyone.

S. ~
My son was diagnosed as ADHD in the summer between kindergarden & 1st grade. The school suggested testing because of behavior problems in kindergarden. Although alot of the problem was that he was bored. I had him tested and they started him on Ritalin (I know, everyone disagrees with this....I did what was best for my son), and they put him in a classroom for emotionally impaired kids (EI). What I loved about that class was that there were 3 adults to 5 kids; they allowed my son to do things at his own speed (he was way ahead in math, and they let him be); and he was main treamed for specials (gym, music, etc.). In 2nd grade, the teacher allowed him free access from the regular class to his class...he would spend most of the day in the regular class, but go back to the ei class for math (since he was ahead), and the regular teacher had him tutor the other kids in her class with their math, which helped his self-esteem. He was main streamed in 3rd grade, with access to the resource room...a couple times a week he met with the resource room teacher and he spent time with him and kept up on how he was doing. I also had male teachers for him when I could.

I wouldn't worry about the reports from the other school, since your nephew is only in kindergarden. And the issues with them not contacting him probably had to do with the mother telling them not to...if she had custody, they don't have to speak with both parents.

Hopefully your brother is moving him to a good school district that will work with your nephew.

good luck!
D.

Hi S. -

Congrats to your brother for finally getting custody! Your nephew's old school had no legal grounds to exclude your brother from the school process with his son. Coming to a new district I would ask for him to be re-evaluated by the new school in order to confirm the diagnosis. They can review your nephew's last MET and IEP then confirm or disprove with what they find. There may be more going on than ADHD. I have three special needs kids and all three are ADHD with additional issues. Once the initial diagnosis was given I took my kids into a specialist and had their diagnosis confirmed. All three of mine have benifited from medications. There are several out there, you just have to try different things until you find what's right for your nephew. If your brother wants to try something more homeopathic he can try giving his son a small dose of St. John's Wort. That may help your nephew calm down and concentrate,too. Being consistent in discipline and a reward system for good behavior may help, too. As for the reading, don't worry about it too much. He is still a kinder and his information retention/understanding will catch up. It is very possible there might be a language processing issue there, too, though. That is another reason to ask for a second opinion evaluation at the new school. Have your brother explain he doesn't entirely agree with the issues in his son's records (if that's the case). It is also very possible that if things weren't very good at your nephew's home then he most likely would have been acting out more in his old school. New school means a new slate to me.

Let me know if I can help anymore,

S.

First off, I would get a second opinion on the ADHD thing from the new school. You just described my son who reads at a higher level but whose comprehension is much lower (in fact, you've described the majority of kids I know) and the behavior level does not match the academic level.
Last year my son's Kindergarten teacher assured me that the first year of school is mainly to get kids to learn the routines of school and not so much academics, so they are focusing on getting the kids o control those impulses. Most kids who have been in preschool come in at a higher academic level but still need work on social level. Now, in first grade, my son is much more in control and is mentoring other students who need help in math and reading (peer teaching is a great way to harness the brain power and alleviate boredom).
Since his previous teacher obviously was biased against your nephew (hopefully that comes through on the reports), perhaps your brother could ask for a fresh evaluation. Yes, he still could have ADHD or some form of Autism, or whatnot. Finding the right method for him to stay engaged in learning is the important part.
Oh, and don't fret about the comprehension thing. That's normal too. It'll even out at some point.

A professional opinion is required in diagnosing a child with ADHD, not just a school. Perhaps he cannot understand what he is reading at a higher level because he is only in kindergarten. He should have a second opinion and an evaluation regarding his skills by a professional.

Your brothers first step needs to be demanding that the school district set up an IEP meeting. They legally have to do it once he requests it. As far as the old school, I would contact the intermediate school district office and tell them that he wants to file a formal complaint against the school and the teacher so this doesn't happen to another child. Your brother should also contact the Michigan Protection & Advocacy Service at 1-800-288-5923 or www.mpas.org. They will assign him an advocate that can answer questions as well as have somebody attend meetings with him at the school if needed. I used them when I was having some troubles with my older son's school.

Don't worry about what the prior school has to say. There may be a wonderful person at the new school who sees your nephews potential and will do everything they can to bring it out in him.

Good luck...it is a long process but every step will be worth it!

I think the best thing your brother can do, and perhaps you too, is to get involved and get to know the teacher. Be sympathetic to her and affirm her as she works with this active, smart boy. Keep your sense of humor and try to help her do so too. Do what you can to stimulate him intellecturally and encourage the teacher to do that too, but keep in mind that she has a whole classroom of kids to deal with. My grandson's teacher paired him with an upper grade student for reading time so he could read chapter books but my daughter was concerned too that he might not be really understanding what he was reading, so he had to answer questions about the stories.

Good luck! You can talk to his pediatrician about medication for ADHD if, when you see how he's doing, he seems to need it to focus. It might be worth a try. I have one grandson on it and it helps him.

Also, getting him involved in sports in the community, like soccer, should help. Don't know where you live. There are indoor soccer domes in several areas.

Good luck!

get him into his dr then he can get meds? it my not be for everyone but it may help i know that not everyone wants to go that way but it may help start a chart for school free behavior charts .com is a good site it all so give tips on behavior i jave a 1st grader that gives us a run good luck

i found out in michigan the schools can NOT diagnoe a child with ADHD. I know because i have an ADHD child. we had to go and have her seen by a therapist and letters of concern and observation by her teacher. Then and only then would her DR put her on meds. You can try cutting out sugar and artifical coloring and presertaives. and yes red meat has red food coloring in it. Behavior modification may help but at this age it is difficult because kids dont comprehend alot of this.

feel free to contact me if you want.

i am a single mom of 4 kids youngest is ADHD.

What the other two said is good. I would have your brother have his nephew tested at school he might get some sort of extera help that would be writen in IEP. If he don't fit under one plan he could also slip in under a 504 plan. Let your brother know that if he request this testing to be done the school has 30 days to get things done. I would make sure he is tested through the school. both my boys have ADHD and are on meds that help quit a bit. They both also get the extera help that is needed where they strugle. I hope this helps you out some.

I just wanted to let you know that after a great year of prek last year, my son went to a new school this year for KD and they immediately tried to diagnose him with ADHD. The teacher was constantly yelling at him, even in front of my husband when he went for the Halloween party. We switched him to a different school in Novemeber (one with combined grades so the kids can work at whatever level they are at, not the grade they are at) and, lo and behold, he was bored out his mind at the old school!!! At the old school his teacher refused to let him do harder work until he would prove he could work independently, but he wouldn't work independently because he was soooo bored. She was making him trace his letters and numbers, when he already could count to 60 and was staring to sound out words. At his new school he is reading, learning his basic math skills, and his teacher said he is an asset to the class. She said he even helps out the other kids if he gets his work done first. It sounds like your nephew just needs someone at school to care enough to find a reason, boredom or otherwise, for his issues. I'm not saying my son isn't hyper and crazy sometimes, he just isn't hyper and crazy when he's being challenged! He's a boy!

What county? What school district?

I'd recommend talking to someone at the county ISD or RESA. Call one of the IEP Compliance Officers and a Social Worker, and tell them your story. FBA (functional behavioral assessment) and BIP (behavior interventio plans) need to be completed and developed. The school and the teacher sound like they don't know what they are doing.

Ask for a 2nd opinion assessment through the county organization (the ISD or the RESA) and after that you can ask for an IEE. Oakland Schools' second opinion assessments are usually incredibly more thorough than the local eval.

Go to www.wrightslaw.com for more info on special ed law.

Michigan Rules and Regs are here
http://www.michigan.gov/documents/RevAdmRulesSE_2002_06_0...

Hard stuff. However, there are tons of science-based statistics available on how pycnogenol can impact children who are behavior challenged. It needs to be in the right form though. I can answer questions about this natural solution if you are interested.

S.
____@____.com

Wow! You have received some great advice.
I too have a gifted child that has challenges in school. He has been diagnosed by a doctor with ADHD, and he has some characteristics from other disorders as well. We had an IEP (Individualized Education Program) meeting - it saved our lives!
Your nephew's new school may want to see how the transition goes before doing anything. My 9 year old was in kindergarten when we first started seeing challenges, but nothing drastic until 2nd grade. He is in 4th grade now and in a regular classroom (with the support of a resource room as needed).

An IEP may recommend a specialized classroom, remember - they don't keep them there longer than they feel necessary. The schools primary goal is to help the children transition into a regular classroom.

Also, it is common for some younger kids who read at a higher level not to comprehend everything they read.

Let your brother know - he is not alone. There are many parents out there that struggle with similar challenges. You will all get through it.. eventually :)

Hi S.,

I am flaberghasted! I don't even know where to begin. The school has no business "Diagnosing". That should be the family doctors job. Secondly, if you nephew who is in Kindergarten is comprehending at a first grade level, that doesn't sound like language difficulties to me. He simply will expand his vocabulary as he gets older. Language processing problems are diagnosed by a speech pathologist not a psychologist. Third, if he can read at a 4th grade level he must be able to pay attention somewhat, he just isn't being challanged enough at school.

Your nephew is just a little boy and hopefully the new school will be better equipt to handle children than the last one was. I am interested to know what school that was he was in. My daughter was reading at an 10th grade level and comprehending at 8th grade level when she was in 3rd grade. However, we put her in one school who claimed they tested her and decided she should be in a third grade reader. It was only after switching schools that I found out at what level she was reading.

If you find the new school is no better than the old, a private school might be best as they work more one on one and at the childs level, not at a group level.

Congratulations to your brother on gaining custody and I wish the best for the little guy.

I can't recommend this book enough: "Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Allergies, and Asthma" by Dr. Kenneth Bock. Dr. Bock has created a natural healing method for kids with ADHD that involves changes in diet and adding nutritional supplements. It'll honestly amaze you to read some of the results this method can have. This book has many stories of kids who have overcome the difficult affects of ADHD and many of them end up so much better that they lose all bad behaviors. My sister in law has followed ths method and I've watched my nephew go from a boy with autism that had really difficult behaviors to a sweet little boy who is thriving and being taught in a general classroom with just a little extra help. Frankly, I'm disgusted that a teacher would say she didn't like any student. She obviously knows nothing about ADHD. The methods in this book have helped kids just like your nephew. Best of luck!

my son is now 10 years of age, get help now and if you as a parent work hard with your kid and get treatment. it does get better.My son is on the patch for the school year off in the summer. my kid went to getting c, d to all As. i cryied at every teachers meets. Now i get tears of happiness for how good he does. my son went in to a deep depersion for all the trouble he would get in to, from his teachers and from me. They don't know how to release the anry and they get in more trouble.

One thing i wish i would have done when my son was in 1st grade. he had a techers that was so mean to him. i wish i would of sat in a class to watch him and watch the teacher. As soon as he was having trouble i should of try to get him remove from that class to the other teacher. i don't know that she use to talk in a microphone and yell at the kids. And my child was the problem! i wish i would of got him help sooner behavorial thearpy and on his meds. My husband don't see eye to eye on med. i know it help.

Hi S.,
My heart goes out to your nephew! First of all I don't believe in ADHD. I believe it is a name for something that no one wants to deal with. I believe that most of the kids that are dignosed with these learning disablities because the schools don't know how to deal with the child. These are labels that stick with this child for the rest of his life and it will be his excuse to why he does or doesn't do something that everyone(society) thinks he should be doing because thats what the majority of the people have been brain washed to believe! Then worst of all they will put him on brain altering drugs and the child will never again be himself! It's so scary to think that one day most of society will be a bunch of brain washed zombies on drugs!Today's society is so screwed up that these children are crying out for help and just alot of love and attention!!!! These are children for God's sake! But they are not supposed to act like children? I really hate to say this but the majority of the children's problems stem from the parents. We work all the time, we spend less time with our children than teachers, day care providers, grandparents etc. Kids are indoors almost all the time and rarely go out and explore nature. (I'm currently reading "The Last Child in the Woods" by Richard Louv. It talks about how important nature is to developing children and talks about using nature as a way to decrease the symptoms of ADHA and ADD.) They are sitting in front of a TV or video games for hours everyday. We are bombarded by negstive advertising, violent/sexually graphic movies, games, ads and we wonder why our children can't think straight? 50% of parents are divorced in the country and the kids are paying the price!!
As far as him reading at 4th grade level and comprhension of 1st grade I believe that to be wonderful for only being in Kindergarten! What's wrong with that? Maybe he could be a little bored and needs some more challenging things to do or made to feel like he is important, give him chores that are achieveable but rewarding. As far as the lanuage processing problems, that's just ridiculous to think that a Kindergartener can comprhend much over a 1st grade level?
I guess what I'm trying to say is all the so called experts (teachers, pyschologist) don't really know your nephew as well as his parents do or should. The poor child has been through quite a bit if I'm not mistaken a divorce correct? His life has been turned upside down and we demand him to act like the perfect little gentleman. It's all very unreasonable of us to ask this child to do anything but to snuggle in your arms and know that everyone he knows still loves him and will give him all the time he needs to feel like he's worth it. I myself would make more time for him,read to him everynight, show him you love him, do special things with him, hold him, kiss him, play with him on his level, let him make some decisions, talk to him with respect (not demanding and yelling, and ordering him around), teach him manners or character building skills (but make sure you are using your own! because he learns from you! This is very important, you may not realize it , but he maybe acting in a way that he has seen other adults behave! We have to take resposibility for our own behaviors!), listen to him and take him outside and play with him everyday (if possible)I bet you'll see a drastic change in him and his learning will all fall into place when he is ready. Remember each child learns at his/her own pace and you shouldn't shove him through a system(public school) that requires he learn and act like the "average" child learns. There are 8 different learning styles and the public school usually only touches on the top 3 most of the time because they don't have time to work with each indivdual child. Your nephew may learn a totally different way than what he is being taught.
I hope these suggestions help, and I'm sorry for being so long winded. Here are some books you or your brother may be interested in besides the one listed above:
7 Habits of Happy Kids-Sean Covey
Raising Confident Boys-Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer
How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!-Sal Severe, Ph.D.
Children's books by Dr. Wayne Dyer
Books by Rabi Schmuley Boteach.
There are also books on ADHD, Learning Styles, and Parenting you could try to get through your local library, if not request them.
www.myrewardboard.com -great for chores and goal setting!
Don't under estimate your nephew, he's smarter than you think! He just needs someone to believe in him and teach him to believe in himself!
There is a video on the internet that is 20min long called;www.storyofstuff.com. there's a small part that pertains to how the government gets us to buy more things to make us feel better. Another common problem society has is trying to be "someone important" by what kind of things you have and how much! Trying to "get more" and to be "better than" takes away the time we need to be spending with our family. When all we really need is gratitude for the things we do have, the basics of survival-food, clothing,shelter and each other!
I would encourage you and your brother to really spend more time with him!
Good Luck!
I plead with you!!!Please don't let them put him on DRUGS!!!! There are other alternatives!!
C.

A little about me: SAHM of 4(homeschooled)kids- 11-b,9-b,7-b,5-g. Believe there's a solution to the diagnosis of the so-called ADHA and ADD, more time with your children and spending lots of time outside! Trying to simplify life so there's more time with family. Been married to a wonderful husband for 14 years! Love to teach and see my children learn. Love horses, cowboys, log cabins and traveling.