Hi all,
My eight month old daughter is having problems sleeping well at night and I hope you have some ideas for how I can help her to sleep longer.
After trying everything to help her to sleep for naps and bedtime, we finally used an extinction CIO method. She now naps up to three times a day whereas before she often didn't nap at all. This is the problem, she wakes up often. Sometimes every 2.5 hours, sometimes every hour. Our routine for sleep at naps is nurse, book, and a walk around the room to say good night to a few things. Bed time is the same with the addition of a bath. At naps she generally cries for about a minute and at bedtime it varies anywhere from 5-20 minutes (this seems to depend on how tired she is, more tired = more crying), she then talks to her stuffed animal for awhile and finally sleeps. She goes to sleep between 5:30-6pm and gets up about 5:30am (ugh) but with all the waking she's only getting about 9.5-10 hours of sleep and wakes looking tired.
When she wakes up, I pick her up and nurse her until she calms down and then put her back in her crib which is next to our bed (we live in a one-bedroom so have no other choice).
In addition, for the last four nights at bedtime she has fallen asleep but then woken up about 30 minutes later crying hysterically. When I go into her she seems to be in the midst of a nightmare. I pick her up, sooth and nurse her and put her down when she's calm but awake (this usually takes about 5 minutes) and then she's asleep again in about 10 minutes.
Thanks for lending your ear,
R.
I would suggest eliminating one of her naps. At that age my son was taking two naps... one morning and one afternoon. I think his times were 8:30-10:30 and 1:00-2:30ish. I know that when I took my son (who is older) down to one nap he started sleeping better again. You might consider going to two. :)
I agree with the other post--at 8 months she does not need 3 naps and it is most likely disturbing her sleep patterns at night.
At that age my son went down at 9am and 1pm. He took two solid naps and then went to bed anywhere between 6-7 pm.
You did not say when she wakes up at night how long she is up or what you do when she wakes up. If she is waking up (which is completely normal for kids to do) it is important that she learns how to put herself back to sleep. Do you rush in at the first sign of crying? Have you tried to see what happens if you wait? A lot of times the interruption by the parents causes the child to get more upset and interfere even more with sleep.
I am sure you are exhausted--hang in there!!!
I think there are too many naps, and going to bed at 5:30 pm is way too early. I think about 7-7:30 is good. Also, When my kids were a little younger than yours, I used CIO during the night (you said you used it) but you need to use it during the night. Only one night of that for my kids, and they slept through the night from then on. 8 month olds don't need to be nursed throughout the night. CIO method was a miracle for us, and I would recommend it over and over again. It does no harm, and my doctor even recommended it. Good luck.
I am a little confused about your post or I don't know what extinction CIO is. I know CIO, but not extinction. You say you go to her and nurse her, but then what is the CIO part? Trying to help, but I am confused.
First - 5:30-6 pm sounds like a REALLY EARLY bedtime, which is going to translate to a REALLY early wake-up time. See if you can shift her back an hour and consolidate her day-time naps, so you get some decent rest too! I know, people always say that their kids go to bed at 7 pm, but our son always went to bed about 9-9:30 pm, slept until 7am, and has a great long nap in the afternoon. Every kid is different though.
Really, you NEED to get Richard Ferber's book, "Solve your child's sleep problems". This book changed our lives! It is really informative - much more than just the 2 sentence description of his method of getting your child to fall asleep on her own. He talks about natural sleep rhythms - that your child will wake up every few hours, as part of her sleep cycle, but the key is to get her to just roll back over and sleep again. You're actually more disruptive to her sleep by picking her up & nursing, than to wait, see if she goes back to sleep. From what you described, you're not really using a CIO method at all. Ferber is great, but the key things are: get your child to soothe herself back to sleep, DON'T pick her up, and work with her natural rhythms.
Also, our pediatrician recommended that we wait 20 minutes during a wake up to see if our son would go back to sleep. Sure enough - he did. And after he did that a few times, he started sleeping through the night.
Having said that, this transition is going to be REALLY HARD for you guys if you're all in the same room. If your daughter sees you, she's going to be really mad (i.e. crying) if you don't pick her up. Can you move her to an office room, or have you start sleeping in the living room? I know it's not ideal, but the situation you describe where no one is getting any sleep is horrible, and not sustainable.
I hope you get some rest soon!
My 10 month old would go to sleep at 5 in the morning for a month lol n would wake up at 3 in d afternoon n take like 2 naps then i used bedtime bath shapoo from johnsons and it helped lol
I didn't completely read some of these posts, but I have to agree that she is going to bed way too early. You can also definately get rid of one nap. My second one (now 15 months) was a terrible napper and at around 10 months I went to one nap a day to get a consolidated hour and a half (before it was 3, 30 minute naps). Now she naps 2-3 hours (yea!) Anyways... having a one bedroom is pretty rough. I don't see how you can really CIO with her being in the same room. If you really have no other place to put her then I'd look into moving. You can't stay in a one bedroom for that much longer anyway.
I definately recommend CIO as well and did it with both and this will lead to sleeping through the night, but not if she is up looking at you!
Also want to say it's really not all that bad to be nursing to sleep (something I did with both mine until ~12 months) because you still have time to stop later.
Just wanted to say that I like your idea about saying good night to things in the room, hope you've read "good night moon".
I recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". Every child is different. Listen and observe your child for sleep signs and tired signs. Eventually you will see a trend of when your child gets tired and you can set the schedule or modify it. The book teaches you what type of sleep cycles are common at certain ages and how to develop sleep habits that work for your child. It teaches you how to teach the baby to fall asleep on her own. My LO is 10 months old, naps 3 times a day (1 hour each nap) and goes to bed at 6:30pm. He is a happy child and I know it is because he is well rested. Some kids can take very long naps and only require 2 naps or 1 nap a day. It all depends on your child. My LO also wakes up a few times through out the night and moves around, even sits up. He will look around, whimper for a bit and after 5 or 10 minutes fall back asleep. The times he woke up crying we figured out that he was teething. Just watch her on the monitor to make sure she is ok.
Have you tried keeping her up as long as possible in the day so she'll be so tired she'll sleep through the night? Also have you tried some cereal at bedtime in her milk that always worked for my kids?????
