Cry It Out

We did it, but we used Dr. Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" method he calls extinction. Basically, once you say goodnight, you don't go in there again until the baby is totally asleep to check on them if you want. The first night we did it was terrible. I was crying as much as my son, and my husband had to physically restrain me after the second hour of crying. However, the second night, crying lasted only 30 min, and since then, he puts himself to sleep usually without crying at all! We've been working on naps now (my son is 13 months) using the same book, and after a couple of days, he's doing great! LOVE the book! Good luck!

Hi JB! Like the very first poster, I followed Dr. Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" using the extinction method. We started sleep training at 6 months and have never once regretted it! When we started, I mentally prepared myself by saying "there will be crying, this could take a week, just be patient and consistent". With extinction, we put him down and that was it - no going back in. Some people will say that's mean; teaching a child to sleep is not mean. People will say they cry for a reason...of course they do, because they want you to come back and spend all your time with them! When your kid is 3 and wants to eat candy bars all afternoon and cries because you don't give them candy bars, do you give in and feed them candy bars just to make the crying stop and appease them? No, because you're the parent and you know overindulging isn't healthy!

I dreaded trying CIO. I was scared to death that it was going to be awful. We were used to putting the baby to bed at 9:00 and we were moving the bedtime back to 8:00 and I thought, oh good heavens he's going to get up earlier.

Night #1 - 45 minutes. Night #2 - 10-15 minutes. Night #3 - 2-5 minutes. And...he eventually wound up with a 6:30 bedtime and a 6:45-7:30 wake time. During the day he was so much happier because he was well-rested.

Good luck to you. Feel free to PM me with questions or if you need support. I'm sorry that people will take this opportunity to make you feel guilty for your decision. Of course, they don't have to live at your house either... :)

I think you need to talk to your pediatrician and decide what is best for your family. I have read some of the responses here and they are a little judgemental. If you decide that the cry it out method is right for you and your family, then by all means do it. Don't let others tell you it's not right. We did the cry it out method with my older son and it took the whole 14 days that the pediatrician told me it would take. But, we did it differently. He was around the same age, but I wasn't still feeding him at night. He was a healthy, growing baby and his pediatrician agreed he did not need to be waking up at night to be fed. (He was bottle fed if that makes a difference). So, we chose the route of letting him cry it out and not go in the room. It was so hard for me to listen to, but he never cried for more than 20 minutes. So, we were lucky, but it did last for 14 days. Then, magically it seemed, on the 15th day he didn't cry at all. He's been a great sleeper since. We decided not to do the 5, 10 minute thing because we felt he was more upset when he saw us and we felt like we were teasing him. But, that was just us. We tried that Healthy Sleep habits book others have recommended, and it didn't work for us. It worked for our second son though. The key is to be consistent and to keep going until he gets it. He will get it eventually. You may want to retalk through the feedings with your pediatrician. Also, how are you sure that he doesn't need to be fed in between feedings- he may feel like he does? Just something to think about. Good luck!

I don't have all the answers because we are having problems with a 9 month old, but I do have to say, do it before he can stand!! It is much easier to get them to fall asleep if they can't get up. With my first, we did cry it out at nearly 2 years. It really does work, but is heart-breaking. They say that over time, there is probably less crying with cry it out than with other methods which take a lot longer.

Well, at 5 months old, how long of a stretch are you trying to make him sleep? 6 hours will probably be the longest stretch you get at the moment. It's quite possible and OK that he needs another feeding after you initially put him down. What kind of bedtime routine do you have? Do you do bath, book, nursing/bottle, bed? Sometimes an established routine helps make the baby aware that this is bedtime and not another nap time.

Just be consistent! Each child will take a different amount of time.

We started when my daughter was six months old. She is now 7 months old. It took us about three or four nights of having to go in after 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes. We never had to wait 20 minutes to go in.

She still fusses sometimes, but is usually asleep in about 5-10 minutes. She doesn't cry anymore like she did those first few nights. Now it's mostly some whining on and off.

She sleeps pretty well from about 7pm to about 7 am or so. She rarely wakes up at night, and i think that the times she does wake up it's b/c of discomfort from teething.

Hang in there. Just be consistent and it will get better. Make sure you have a bedtime routine and that you pay attention to your baby's cues and put him to sleep when he shows you that he is tired. I found that if i put her to bed too late, that she actually slept worse and woke up earlier.

Sounds to me like you are doing it right, each week or so add another 5 minutes. When my son was a baby the pediatrician said to do the same. Let him cry he needs to learn to self soothe. After the 3rd night my (then) husband said... I have to work tomorrow you don't. That set the tone for the next 2 1/2 years. He would wake and cry every time he stirred, and I would have to either find his binky, or rub his back to settle him back down. As many as 32 (but on average more like 15) times a night he would wake. Needless to say, that marriage did not last, and today my son sleeps like a rock, right through the alarm sometimes... Other tips I have learned over the years, make sure there is some white noise, sound machine or something, that tends to help babies self soothe, warm water bottle is a tip I heard from someone else... Good luck. As far as how long will it take. Any thing less than 2 1/2 years is worth the effort. Each child is different, some take a few nights, others weeks or months. I know it is hard, I have great sympathy, but keep trying.

I have tried just about all these methods and my son usually ends up puking, any ideas on what to do? I really cant let him lay in his puke, just can't do it. He is now alomst 13 months old and I am still getting up several times in a night. It is not fun.

I recommend Dr Sears "The Sleep Book" [ or online at http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp ] on info about what to expect developmentally as well as typical sleeping patterns at the various developmental stages. At 5m, your baby is still in infancy as well as still adjusting to life outside the womb. (Think 9 in, 9 out.) It's also possible that 7p is too early for your son, and the "night wakings" are really "I'm done sleeping for this stretch, it's time to get up now!"

Hi, after reading Healthy sleep habits, healthy child, my husband and I decided we would try the cry it out method on our 4 1/2 month old son who is exclusively breast fed. When he was waking up at night he wasn't hungry, but he just wanted to be soothed back to sleep. He was waking up around three times a night. The first night we put him to sleep around 7:30pm. He did wake up twice that night and we let him cry it out. I think the first time he cried two minutes and fell back asleep. The second time he cried five minutes and then fell asleep. Although it was hard to let him cry it out it was totally worth it and it only took one night! He is now 5 months and sleeps from 7:30pm to 7-8am! We have had to do it a couple of times for naps, but usually he can fall asleep on his own. I would recommend reading the book. I would also recommend buying those video monitors too. When he was crying it would comfort me to see him and make sure he was okay. Good luck!

Picking up a crying baby and feeding them isn't overindulging. YOu are his mother and he doesn't need you any less because it's dark out. 5 months old is an infant! He has needs and he expects you to meet them. Not meeting them will result in him losing trust in you. I personally think if a baby is crying for weeks on end every single night, that should tell you something. He may be waking up scared because he's by himself and that's just scary when you are a little helpless baby! It's ok to mother him as much as you want to.