My 3 yr old daughter has always disliked getting water on her face when she is bathed, but lately it has become a battle just to wash her hair. She used to let me wet her hair, use shampoo, and then she would squirm around/stand up/cry/fight when it came time to rinse her hair. I have always tried keeping the water away from her face and out of her eyes, but her struggling makes it hard. Now she refuses to take a bath or shower (she used to love showers with me). This morning she screamed while I took off her clothes to put her in a bath and came close to making herself sick from crying when I was washing her hair. Then as soon as I had her hair washed and rinsed she was fine and wanted to stay in the bath and play with her toys. I am at my wits end! It is hard not to get upset at her over something I don't understand. She is really a mild mannered little girl that I have no troubles out of otherwise. I have tried every option I can think of including bribery to get through a peaceful bath but nothing works and I can feel my blood pressure spike everytime I have to wash her hair. Needless to say she only gets about one or two baths a week when she really needs one everyday.
Thank you for all of the reassurance. I have tried the visor thing before with no luck because you really can't get them tight enough to prevent water from getting on the face. I went out and bought one of those cups from babies r us and haven't tried it yet, but I plan on letting her play with it first. I will try the dry washrag over her eyes too. She is very independant and normally washes herself and she loves to play in the bath, so I don't think it is an actual fear of water, just a dislike of water on her face/head. She doesn't mind when Grandma washes her hair or if water gets on her face when she is splashing in the wading pool, so I guess that is why I don't understand. My 5 month old has been taking baths with my 3 yr old (in her bath chair) ever since her umbilical cord fell off. They both really enjoy it and my 3 yr old helps wash the baby. Luckily (for now at least) my baby doesn't mind water on her face, so I let my 3 yr old wash and rinse my 5 mo olds hair so she can see that it doesn't hurt. I think it is her time of independance and she is starting to get upset if she doesn't get her way in other situations as well.
Hi D.
I thought it was interesting that she let Grandma wash her hair. It sounds like a control issue to me. You're a great Mom. This too shall pass:)
PamelaB
www.workathomeunited.com/income
My son did the same thing....it drove me crazy! Children feel like they don't have control over the situation when water gets on their faces and in their eyes. It scares them. I didn't know what to do...until on night I was watching a movie and the little girl in the movie was having the same problem. So her mother bought her one of those snorkling mask and a nose clip. I went out immediately and bought the same stuff for my son. I went to the dollar store and bought a few different colors and styles. My son loved them. He let me wash his hair, his face....bath time became fun!!!!!! I let him take his time to get use to the mask and putting his face under the water....once he got the hang of it, everything else was gravy. To think something so cheap made such a difference! Good luck!
I have the same problem now with my 2-year-old. She starts to whine when it's time to take a bath, and when I wash her hair, she cries so bad that she will sometimes throw up. I get really mad at her, because I use one of those cups that keeps the water out of her face, so I guess she just doesn't like the water in her hair (very frustrating). The cup might work for your daughter. They sell it at Walmart for like 4 dollars. Or you can always just accept it like I am learning to do. We tried the only take a bath twice a week thing, and it doesn't make a difference, so whenever she needs her hair washed, I just grin and bear it.
My son doesnt like water in his eyes either. He is 4 years old.
I put a airplane wall mural(small one) up on the ceiling. And when i went to wet his hair i would say where do airplanes fly and have him look up for it and keep looking till i have it wet.I told him that if he kept his eyes on the plane i would not get the water in his eyes. Now there is no plane he just looks up automatically.
Good luck hope it helps.
My daughter started doing the same thing and she is 3. What I do is keep a dry hand towel out and as soon as we rinse her hair I quickly dry her face - it seems to make her much happier. It is a battle for me to get her in the bath, but now that we dry her face she doesn't fight as bad. The bath is the only thing she fights. The funny thing is she doesn't fight or act up at the grandparents house over bathtime. My mom read to put a visor on their head so the water didn't get in thier eyes - I never tried but maybe. S.
My 2.5 yr old is the same way . its a phase they go through , my daughter did it too when she was that age and shes 5.5 yrs. just keep giving her baths and she will get over it. make it fun for her bubbles, bath toys , a doll she can bathe while you're giving her a bath. and get her involved like have her scrub herself.
hth, and good luck
Hi D.,
Have you thought about letting her wash her own hair? I have had this happen with friends of mine before and I have let them use my kids non-toxic shampoo that doesnt burn when it gets in their eyes (also there's no danger of it in their eyes either, unlike the J&J stuff) If she's in control you can just sit there and coach her. Let her lay in the water and rinse it out. My shampoo kills the bacteria so playing in the soapy water wont hurt. If you want to rinse it better, empty the tub and refill it with clean water.
If you want more info about the shampoo you can email me at ____@____.com this helps.
I think this is pretty common. My oldest daughter had sensory intergration disorder so she couldn't stand the sound of water running or the feel of water on her head. I tried everything I could think of and I just hated bathtime. After I relized I was getting more stressed out trying to find a way to make her like it or for her not to pitch fits, I finally gave in and just knew that it would be alittle fight until the head part was over. Just excepting it and make that part the first and the fastest might be the way to go.I feel sure she will grow out of it, Good luck, M.
D.,
I read through the replies you had received so far and I see a couple of things. First, be compassionate - let her know that you love her but she has to have her hair washed to be clean, to <whatever, go to the store, etc>. Second, have you checked with an OT about Sensory Integration Disorder? Our 6-year-old son has SI, along with other things, and some of the strangest things drive him up the wall. He likes the water and doesn't mind washing his hair, but even at 6, with the SI he still hates to have his hair combed.
A little background on our family: we have been foster parents of medically-fragile children for the past 6 years - our 6-year-old is our first foster child and when he became eligible for adoption, we adopted him. Just talk calmly and comfortingly, be ready with a hug after you do whatever (this works as well as we have found with NG feeding tubes, eye patches, etc), and always tell her she is loved.
Give your little one an extra hug for me and have her give you a hug back as Mom needs one, too! Write back if you want to talk further.
Dear D.,
I remember when I was little my mom would give me a washcloth to hold myself over my eyes.She would fold it up already wet but squeezed out, give it to me, and then I would press it up against my eyes and tilt my head up. With the washcloth already being wet, I couldn't feel it getting wet from the water on my head, and this way I was in control of the water not getting in my eyes, and being a firstborn control is a big issue. Now that she is scared to get in the tub, when my little boy didn't want to take baths, I went out and got those water toys you can stick on the side of the tub w/ water, like little dino's or sea creatures, they are little cut outs that stick w/ water. When I opened the shower curtian, he started stipping down and saying I want to take a bath--it worked, and now he loves baths. He liked seeing the tub all ready and decorated with toys ready to play, it looked like a bathtub play zone when I pulled back the shower curtian for him, and he wanted it! Maybe this will help.--Jeni
If she is truly that fearful of the water then dont presure her to lay down try giving her a cup and seeing if she will do it herself. You can also try putting just a tiny bit of water in the tub, just enough to cover the bottom (I do this sometimes wih my 10 month old)and see if she will lay down then and later add more water AFTER you wash her hair. Someties it also takes seeing another child do it before they feel ok with it. My oldest who's 4 has a brand new bike and I worked and worked in trying to get him to learn how to peddle the thing. He would peddle one or 2 times and then say he can't do it. Then the other day when I looked out the window to check on him he was racing his friend on the bike and peddling like a pro! He needed some child interaction to get motivated into riding the bike. I bath my baby in the tub with my son, but since ur baby is so small and ur toddler is still at an active age I wouldnt put the baby in the tub with her just yet.
I had the same exact problem with my two year old. One saturday my husband washed her hair in the kitchen sink and she has been ALOT better now. She still whines a little but she is better. Now I have him wash her hair in the sink once or twice a week. You might want to give it a try. She acts better with her father anyway. I guess she thinks she can just run over me but I love her anyway. Good luck!!
oh my gosh so traumatic! I can't even imagine your stress....go to one step ahead ( www.onestepahead.com ) they have a water jug that forms to the child's head and doesn't allow water to get the face. check bath toys or aids???? but after using it a couple of times she will understand...maybe even letting her use it on her self to see how it works she may be a different child...good luck A. www.busymomsworkathome.com
I think that you should try to lay her on the kitchen counter so that her head is over the sink (as if she is at the hairdresser). This may be better and she will know that the water will not get into her eyes. My oldest daughter had that fear and this helped. Good Luck.
Hi D.!
I dont know if you know but there is a special cup made for that in most stores... i have seen it at walmart. were the cup is shaped to scoop water and then you place this rubber part on her head while she tips her head back and it keep the watrer from pouring down her face.. I never used it but I have seen my sister use it on her kids and it works fine for them.... GOOD LUCK! Hope this helps!
First, it's important to empathize with the emotion she is feeling rather than scold her. She needs to know first that you understand and hear that she is scared. It doesn't need to make sense WHY she is scared. She is having feelings of fear. So, affirm that you see she is scared with empathy - genuine compassion. Then, help her learn the process of solution seeking. Buy a plastic or foam viser for bath time and show her how it will keep the water off of her face as she tilts her head back. Get one for yourself too and you can both wear your visers. Demonstrate how it will work on yourself first or a doll. Get her a special, special towel JUST for her face during bath and let her hold it up against her eyes and face as tightly as she wishes while you wash her hair. Gently and compassionately address her feelings of fear, and help her with a soft voice realize that together you can find some ways of helping her have ways to feel safe during hair washing time. I am a counselor for young children and parents in Marietta and Kennesaw and will be happy to help you further if I can. Just email me directly. Good luck!
