Need Help with 20 Month Old Daughter Sleeping.

My son is 20 month old is well. He wakes up for something to drink throughout the night, but goes right back to sleep after drinking. Sometimes it's 1 time throughout the night and other times it can be 2 or 3.

She's going to bed waaaaaaaaay to late!! A child her age needs to go to bed around 7, no later than 8. It's normal for her to need something to drink at nite, i'm 27 and i still need a drink at nite!! Instead of milk, offer her some water with maybe a dab of sugar added. Both of my son's will wake on occasion for some water and then fall right back to sleep. If you have her take more than one nap a day, it's time to cut back to just one now; that will help ease her into the earlier bedtime.

I know others have posted this but I agree on an earlier bedtime. I could be that she is overtired. 9:30 or 10 is very late (I can barely stay up that late myself!). She doesn't need the milk, but figures that is the only way you will come in her room and interact with her. My 18 mo old goes to bed at 7:30 and sleeps a straight 12 hours. If we put him to bed late, then he does the same thing- wakes up in the middle of the night. It will take a few days of adjustment, but you will be happy with the results!

E.,
I too have gone through the same thing with my now 25 month old when she was the same age. She would wake up about the same time and complain that she was hungry and then not really touch the food. I tried letting her cry it out and she would cry for hours. I spoke with her pediatrician, friends, my parents, but everyone had a different way to solve the problem. What finally worked for us was realizing that she had gotten off schedule and now thought that she needed me to go back to sleep. We finally went through about three nights of her waking up followed by me going back in, giving her a pacifier (or any comfort object would work), laying her back in her bed and telling her it is night-night time, she needs to go back to sleep and mommy and daddy love her. I would then let her cry it out. Be strong, turn a fan on and know that you are doing the right thing. Not only do you need the sleep, but your daughter needs sleep too for her development. Good luck!

My youngest started sleeping through the night when she was 4 years old. Take a nap when she does during the day; at least you'll get a few more hours to make up for the non-sleep at night.

My 15yodd & 10yods go to bed at 9 (course the 15yo is up at 5:30 for school) but she needs to be in bed earlier, I think this will help. My 10yo is very hard to wake up & will have a lousy day at school if I let him stay up later than that, he needs that much rest.

Seems when they get over tired their bodies never get the rest it truly needs. They fidget more in their sleep & that can wake them up. Many little ones think "I'm awake I need food/drink". So try backing off her bed time 1/2 hour each week till she's in bed no later than 8, she is very young to be up past that time. Establishing at wake up time, naptime, and bedtime even at this age is doable and vital, IMHO.

Good luck to you E..

You are a stay at home mom! If your child does not need to get up early in the morning, don't! Let her sleep. Your children will adjust themselves to your sleep routine as long as you are making it a rountine and they are getting enough sleep. I am a stay at home mom who homeschools -- who cares what time my kids go to bed as long as they sleep in in the morning! When my oldest was a baby and was waking every night between 2-3 a.m. wanting milk, the doctor told me to give her water and within 2 nights she didn't feel it was worth getting up for water! I would also do the suggestion of the sippy cup with water. I always gave my 3 a sippy cup with water each night from the time they were toddlers until they were 5 or 6. Also try a bed time snack. Instant grits is a good one! That helps mine sleep too. Even if they go to bed at 9 but eat dinner at 5, they still need a bed time snack! Just relax. What other people do aren't necessarily what you need to do. A bed time is what is good for the family, as long as they are getting the necessary sleep. My kids are like me and love to stay up late and sleep in late! So what! They are very well adjusted!

Hi E.,
I have a 5 year old and a 28 month old and I know what you're talking about! These were the things I have done in the past 5 years, each with a period of success and perhaps one of them will work for you and your daughter...

We've always had a bedtime routine that isn't rigid, but we try to keep this time frame:
5:45pm Dinner
6:15pm Bath
6:30pm Jammies, snuggling, music, prayers, stories
7:00pm Bed - when they were younger we would wait with them until they were asleep

There were other sleep strategies we've used and liked...

-Co-slept with both children at different times for periods of time.
-Attached a toddler bed to the side of our bed and allowed our child to sleep in our room in her bed.
-Set up a double mattress on the floor of my youngest child's room. I would lay with him until he fell asleep. Usually he would wake up around 3am and I would either lie down and sleep with him for the rest of the night in his double bed on the floor or I would take him in our bed for the rest of the night.
-If you're nursing, you can explain to her that she can have milk when the sun comes up and the birds are awake. Offer her a sippy cup of water in the night. She will protest at first, but if you stick to your guns, she will soon understand that you mean what you say. Boundaries are really important for young children. You shouldn't feel guilty about needing sleep! =)
-Both of my kids sleep well and we are okay with them coming in occasionally to our bed around early morning to snuggle and sleep with us. However, every family is different and you can set up your own sleep boundaries.

Hope this is helpful.

All the best,

R.
www.noblemother.com

I dont know if I have an answer for you, but I have my personal story. Hopefully it will help you. My now 27 month old would do the same thing. After she turned 1, I took away the bottle (so to speak). I changed everything to sippy cups of some sort. She fell in love with the Nuby sippy thats mouth piece actually is shaped like a nipple of bottle (they are latex). She was a baby who only went to bed with her bottle. So, now that I took the bottle, she went to bed with her sippy (that in my mind was OK because it literally was NOT a bottle). I was in denial. She still with this sippy would go to bed great. I could lay her in her bed with it and walk away. She would put herself to sleep, HOWEVER she would wake up every night between 2 and 4 wanting more. I am a working mom. I needed my sleep. So, in order to get my sleep, I would cave and get it for her. Finally when she approached 24 months, I decided enough was enough. I couldnt have a 2 yr old still on a bottle. I went cold turkey. Took it all away. She was only allowed to have her milk in a sippy with a hard spout. I wouldnt take her to her room before bedtime. I would sit her in my lap tell her she needed to drink her milk before we went to bed. She of course refused the first few times, but then it seemed to work. I then had to take her to her room and lay in bed with her. Now, I dont want to ellude you. This was very hard in the beginning. I have a VERY STUBBORN AND STRONG MINDED CHILD. I have fought and cried but I have overcome. She sleeps now from 7:30-8:00pm every night to 6:00-7:30am every morning. She doesnt wake up. She wants her juice when she wakes. We are good now. I get to rest! I hope this helps! Whatever you decide to try, stick with it no matter how hard it is. The first few days are going to be bad, but in the long haul it will be worth it. The pattern you are in, cant be broken in a day or two. It has taken 20 months to get to where you are now. Be strong!!! :)
My thoughts are with you!

I had great success with the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It covers sleep issues from birth to 12. Good luck!!

Your daughter is going to bed too late. She needs to be going to bed between 8-9. There are so many books out there- research and choose one. I have been there with my 2 year old son. She knows that you will eventually give in, so she'll keep crying until you give her milk. Try switchig from milk to water. Thats what I did and I didn't get as many middle of the night calls.

Because she is older you can handle this in more of a disciplinary manner. You're objective is to train(discipline) her to sleep through the night again, and to get some rest yourself, right? Your little one is probably testing her boundaries. From experience, milk (even in a sippy) will rot her baby teeth and she will have to get cavities filled before they fall out (for the molars that's around age 10-11)-quite costly! Let her know that she can have water only. I let my child pick out a new sippy for bed time and let her fill it with water herself. She thought that was really cool, and before long the night waking stopped. Another thing to consider is that she might be hungry. If she doesn't eat very much at dinner, she may really be hungry. Milk does satisfy, and she can recognize this even at 2 years old. Maybe she can have her milk before going to bed. Then brush teeth, fill up the new sippy and off you go! I hope this helps! Good Luck and God Bless!

Both my daughters did this in the middle of the night. I know sometimes it is easier said than done letting children cry it out. We have a very small house, and the crying will wake everyone up. I do agee with some of the others about putting her to bed earlier. You might be surprised that if you do this, she will sleep much better. I would like to also ask if your house is dry. My daughters were waking up due to being thirsty because our house was so dry. It almost always occured in the winter months. What I did was put a non-spill sippy cup of water in their crib and told them if they want something to drink in the middle of the night, they could have some of the water. I would just stand it up in one of the corners of the crib. That pretty much solved the problem. So, if you think she can handle it, give that a try. Good luck.

Definitely start by putting your daughter to bed earlier--9;30pm/10:00pm is too late and she's missing out on the quality sleep she needs that happens earlier in the evening.

I had the same problem with my son. I definitely recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It works wonders! But, be prepared for about 2 weeks of tough love. You need to follow a strict routine of an early bedtime and letting your daughter cry it out a little. With my son, we went in after 15 minutes to reassure him we were still there for him, but that he needed to go to sleep. It takes some time, but it's worth the effort! And always keep in mind, you're doing what is best for your daughter. She'll be well-rested and you'll notice a difference in her demeanor during the day also.

Good Luck, E..

I also used the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book, and it does wonders for you LO! Try putting her to bed earlier. My DS goes to bed at 6:30 every night and wakes up at 6:30 every morning. If he goes to bed later than that, he night wakes, and wakes early the next morning.HTH!

Personally, I would not suggest letting your toddler cry because she wakes up in the middle of the night. She may be going through a growth spurt and needs more nutrition, or something else is waking her up. I think it's important to let our children know we're they're for them - no matter where the sun is shining. Having raised three children to adulthood I know it's a sacrifice but anything we can do to increase their feelings of security does reap rewards in the future. You'll be pleased to know there are many options to assist in dealing with this. Consider reading "Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep" by William Sears or check out literature options at www.attachmentparenting.org/books/nighttime.shtml.

Best of luck!

K.

I have had 3 daughters, and think I should have another, because I have finally learned to get a baby to sleep. I can tell you right now your child is not sleeping because she is WAY overtired. She should be in bed between 6-7 at night. I know, you are thinking "my husband will never see her, there's no way, then she'll be up at 10, etc. She also needs a 2 hour nap. The earlier a child goes to sleep, the more they will sleep, and a cycle will start where she knows how to put herself to sleep. A well rested child will go to sleep more peacefully.
Read "healthy sleep habits, happy child". My 2nd daughter NEVER cried, because she was so well rested. I know it sounds impossible, people always say, "Oh, she's just not a sleeper or she's a picky eater". Us parents make them this way, it doesn't have to be this way.

Good Luck, C.

I echo all the other moms who recommend Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. My oldest had sleep issues, and this book was the key to fixing them. Using what I learned from the book, I knew what to do and what not to do with my second child, and at 20 months he's in bed by 7:30, asleep by 8:00, and wakes up between 7:00-7:30 the next morning. You will have to endure some difficult nights if you need to let your daughter cry it out, but put in some ear plugs so the crying isn't so in your face and just maybe you'll doze off--and wake up suddenly realizing that your house is peacefully quiet! Or just turn on your light and read a good book or magazine--that's what I did since I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep while my son was crying. It distracted me from watching the clock and obsessing about the problem too. And know that if you're consistent, she WILL start going back to sleep on her own.

Best of luck!

Do you think she is waking up and asking for the milk out of habit or is she truly hungry/thirsty? When do you give her dinner? Maybe if she is eating early, then you could try giving her a snack or milk before bedtime. If it is more out of habit, then you will just have to try and break the habit as best as you can. Good Luck!

provide a sippy cup of JUST WATER and leave it in the crib at all times. She will drink during naps and at night without getting you up to get her a drink.

I also have a 20 mo. old and know how bull-headed they can be and how hard it is to hold your ground sometimes.
I agree with the suggestion that you may want to try putting your daughter to bed earlier and see if that helps with the waking during the night. My son is much more likely to wake in the night when he is overly tired or gets off schedule.
In conjunction with that, you may also want to put a sippy cup with water in the far corner of her crib...that way if she does wake asking for a drink you can be reassured that if she is truly waking because she is thirsty her need will be met. It will make you feel more confident about letting her work it out on her own, since more than likely her wanting a drink is more about wanting to see you and less about the drink itself. It might take a little time, but eventually she'll learn that the midnight tantrum isn't doing her any good and she'll give it up.
Good luck and hang in there!!!

My son is 15 mo and he gets a sippy cup of milk, gets rocked to sleep, and is in bed by 8. He does stir around about 2 or 3 at night, but I don't get up with him. I hear it's pretty normal for them to wake in the middle of the night, but they should be able to go back to sleep. Maybe she wants milk because she figures-I'm a wake and your here so why not fill my tummy. She doesn't nutritional need it anymore in the middle of the night. I would definitely turn the monitor off while she's crying and let her cry it out. She'll eventually figure out that you're not coming. I would definitely try really hard to break the milk habit-milk on her teeth that long will rot them out. Good luck and do realize that it will definitely be a struggle since she's no use to one way. Just hang in there.