Need Help W Kids Sleep in Their Own Beds!!

A.- I don't think this will work for the little one, but the only thing that finally worked for my 4 year old was Christmas lights. Sounds funny, but it was around that time and when I got the lights out I thought, hey why not? I strung them around the room. She thought it was super cool and lit the room just enough to not be "scary". I recommend the colored ones because they don't make the room as bright which helps them sleep better. It is nice to be able to sleep without someones foot in my back again!

M. G.

Hey there A., like you we have the same thing. Our daughter started when she was about a month due to a cold and we needed to keep her upright fora week or she would have had to stay in the hospital, so needless so say we did what we needed to at the time, now she is 6 years old and will play in her room and all and wwhen I rock her to sleep at night is goes good till I put her in her bed and about an hour after she gets in there, bam in our bed she goes. So all I'm trying to say is I'm with you and we just keep trying and we have this week started a chart/reward and so far 3 nights she has made it until 4, so it's working slow and I think this might just our ticket, maybe it can help you. She is afraid of small spaces so slow and steady is the way we are learning, even her ped. has told us. Not sure If I have helped you but I also wanted you to know your not the only parents out there.

I've never tried this but saw it on "Nanny 911." Ha, I can't believe I'm referencing a reality show! Anyway, they slowly put the child on the floor, then closer to the door, then the hallway, then in their room. If I remember correctly it took several nights but it worked.
Our daughter used to come in around 2-3am and we didn't make her go back into her room. Fortunatly for us, she just grew out of it and now only occasionally comes to our room. If she does, it's usually around 5 or 6 am, which is tolerable.
I'd try to focus on SERIOUS positivie reinforcement and be consistent.
Maybe a reward for staying in bed all night long. Is there something they each really want?
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU!!

I think I read this in a Family Fun mag a couple of months back, but one idea was to put pennies by the door of their bedroom and everytime they get up you take away a penny. What ever is left in the morning is the kids to keep. You could do that or do a reward system for everytime they stay in their bed the whole night they get 10 cents and when they get a dollar you can take them to the dollar store. Something to think about, we've been lucky enough that the transition from a family bed to their own was really easy. Now they only come in for a snuggle at about 6:30.

Good luck.

A.,
Like many of the other respondents, I also had this problem. It has been 10 blissful weeks of a childfree bed now. I can not explain how much that helps a marriage.
I watched one of those Nanny shows (my pediatrian suggested it) I followed her rules to a tee. I pumped up my 3 year old all day. She was going to sleep in her bed, etc. Sure she would fall asleep in there, but then cry at 1am. I would go in her room and take her back to bed, BAD IDEA. After 3 weeks I decided if she wakes up, figure out why. At first I would just cover her up and kiss her good night. This worked but after 5 weeks she was still getting up at 1am. One night when I went in there I found our 100 pound dog on her bed. He was the culprit the entire time. He now is banned from the girls room and she has slept through the night since (My husband and I have also) It takes a lot of time and determination, but you can achieve your goal. My sister's family still sleeps in her bed (3 children range in age from 3 - 7) and it is tough on her husband(he owns his own business, she is a SAM) Both parents in that house don't have "time" to remove the children from the bed, but I suggest to take the time to remove them from the family bed. It is like a honeymoon. BEST OF LUCK

Ok I have just recently achieved this problem with my daught now 3 1/2 yo. Honestly it is really difficult, however what I did was the Super Nanny approach and everytime she got up I took her right back in her bed. The first time I told her that she needed to stay in her room in her own bed. Everytime after that I had no conversation with her and just put her in her bed. Yes this does go on for a little bit, however if you give her the attention in your bed she assentially wins. You are the one in charge of the problem because you are allowing both to be there. By returning them to there rooms each time they will figure it out that you are not going to let them be in there and just give up and go to sleep.
I dont know if they have night lights, but I would turn a night light on and turn a lullaby music on and try letting them fall asleep that way.
Explain to them that they have there beds and mommy and daddy need to sleep in there bed by themselves. Reward them with a star chart and every time they stay in there bed they get a star and at the end of the week if they have all there stars, then treat them with baking cookies or baking a cake. Try to stay away from bribing (sp??) them. Or a reward could be going to the library and checking out a book or a movie.
I hope this helps I know how frusterating it is. Good luck

We had a similar issue with our oldest daughter, now 4. We did a transition--we put a blanket on the floor, and if she got up during the night she was able to come to our room to the floor. Then we made her bring her own blanket. Now if she comes in we just send her back to her room. It took a while, but it worked for us. Good luck.

Hey there A.. You are definitely not alone. I know that a lot of parents have the same problem and I'm one, too. Our little boy is 3 now (just had a birthday) and he just decided on his own that he wanted to sleep in his own room (we had him in our room, most times in our bed, but also in a crib). I got him a bubble machine (through Avon) that works like a white noise machine but with light changes (red, blue, yellow) and bubbles to watch. He spent the first two nights in his room with no interuptions. Last night he woke up and cried about an ear ache so my husband ended up in his bed with him... but he's not with us.

We have friends who have two children who always slept with them so they got the boys their own big bed to sleep in together. That worked great for them... then the boys have someone to be with and they don't (always) come in to join mom and dad. Good luck!

** I liked the idea of the dream dog and the sticker chart, too... I'd definitely give them a chance! ;o)

hi A.
I want you to know I have the same exact prob. My kids are 6 and 21 months. The best thing I can tell you is to keep with it. My older one is getting alot better. She now only comes in 1 or 2 times a week. My little one is still in there everynight though. But hs is staying longer and longer in his own room. I wish I could help out more. Sorry and good luck

S. L

our girls are the same age and it's the same thing with the 2 1/2 yr old. We figure in a few months when we begin the potty training we'll also wrk on getting her to stay in her bed all night and begin the read in bed alone and we'll turn the night light off routine like we d with the 5 1/2 yr. old. We read books and cuddle with both seperately now, but I stay and fall asleep with the little one and then she comes in our bed at night. she's a quiet sleeper and we knoow it's short lived, but yes it wears me out and does not give us the privacy we want!

What we did with ours was put a "bed" for them in mommy and daddy's room... That way if they need to be "with" us... They can... Just not in our bed... :-) Good luck!!!

I would just prepare them for it all day long and let them know that there are new rules that they have to stay in their own beds the whole night. Be VERY consistant and don't budge because as soon as they learn that you're a pushover they'll be really tough about it. Even if you have to shut and lock your door they'll get the picture. Just remember that you're not hurting them and if they cry it's because they are mad, not because they are being mentally damaged :o)
Good luck and be firm,
J.

A.,

We have twin boys. For a while one or both would get up and crawl into bed with us. Sometimes we would let them sleep with us (lesser of two evils) but it got to be a problem, so we started bringing them back to bed. This stopped the behavior after a couple of weeks in one of the boys (this process will cause you to lose sleep as well...).

The other complained about having bad dreams that would go away when he was with us. We tried to reason it out but to no avail.

So I got him a dog.

It is a stuffed animal collie/shepard looking dog. But, as I explained to him, he is not just any dog. He is a dream dog. He stays awake all night long and keeps bad dreams from happening. (I think he was 5 at the time) I went on to explain that at age "6" all kids develop the ability to block their own bad dreams.

They are 8 now, and have not crawled into our bed (except for one nasty, nasty T-storm) since then.

Good luck!

Hi A.,

I feel for you! I'm still rubbing my eyes from two 4:00 am visits from my 6 year old - 2nd time this week. She's ALWAYS had a bedtime problem- barely napped as a baby even. So maybe she doesn't need as much sleep as regular humans - That's fine - it just weighs on the rest of us. We've tried several things over the years as the re-occuring theme seems to be she doesn't like to be alone. For awhile she slept with her older sister (who does enjoy sleep, to the point of turning down sleepover invites). Needless to say, that didn't work for long. By preschool age we were able to stock her bedroom with creative, sensory games (such as blocks and puzzles) and of course books and coloring materials. She can play after bedtime until she gets tired as long as she doesn't disturb everyone else. As she's in kindegarten she's got a light's out policy of 10 pm at the latest (too late, I know). She is allowed to sleep with music on the condition that we get to select it and the volume (she blares heavy metal if given the chance). She was given a fish for company and is allowed the cat in the bedroom to fall asleep with (he is escorted out later or will wake her up). We also gave both girls dream catchers (we even made them ourselves) to help out with bad dreams. Also had at one time a magic bottle of monster spray (vanilla air spray)to help out with those monsters (BTW:Thanks Monsters Inc.). We have built forts to sleep in and even set up a tent (changing things up seems to distract into complacency for mine).

So get creative, and don't be ashamed of bribery if it works for you. Finally - If you say no - stick to it. Meg's excuse for not going to bed last night was fear of the carbon monoxide detector conveniently placed in her room(hmmm..need to move that today). We let her fall asleep in our room (bad, bad, bad) and moved her. Was not at all suprised to hear the door opening at 4:00 am. She was escorted back to her room the first time and simply ordered to "get out, and get to bed" the second time she showed up by both of us. She was a little teary - but she didn't come back...

Also: ROUTINE...ROUTINE...ROUTINE...It really does work - don't miss your window!

LOL!