Need Help to Get My 3 1/2 Month Old to Nap Without Being in Our Arms

Hi O.

In "The Baby Book" By Dr. Sears there is good information about getting babies to sleep. He says that it usually takes about 20 minutes for a baby to fall into a deep sleep, you can tell if they are in that sleep if you lift and arm and it's totally limp. With my littly guy (4 1/2 mo.) we learned to wait close to 20 minutes before laying him down, then SLOWLY moving away from him. . a finger at a time. . . it has helped. The Sears website has good, helpful information about this situation. . I just try and remind myself how fast they grow and enjoy these fletting moments. .

When you put the baby down, hold her there for a minute. Firmly hold her so that she cannot move. Obviously you don't want to hurt her, just enough to keep the startle reflex from waking her up. Then slowly remove the pressure. I swaddled my kids for as long as they tolerated it. The six month-old I'm watching now, let me swaddle him until almost 5 months, so she's not too old to swaddle, that will also keep her from moving around and waking herself up. Hope this helps.

N.

Have you tried wrapping her in a baby blanket. Wrap her nice and snug like a taco! ;)

O.,

Believe me..I feel your pain. We had similar issues for 10 months with our daughter - we were up just about every hour for that time and slept in shifts...Miserable! I read just about EVERY book written on sleep and begged friends for advice. Nothing worked!

I finally broke down and called a sleep expert recommended to me by a friend - She was a saving grace for our family. I would recommend her to anyone - Her name is Davis Ehler - she is located in SD but she does phone conferences (which is what we did) as well as in-home consultation (a little more expensive). My best piece of advice is to call her before your baby reaches 6 months because she says it is easier.

Here is her info if you want to check it out - She really is amazing! Let me know if you want more info:) Hang in there

Davis Ehrler, PPD
www.3daysleepsolution.com
Infant / Child Sleep Consultant
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Hi O.
Both my sister and I who had babies a couple of months apart swear by the Fisher Price Papasan Cradle Swing. My son loved it and would take all of his naps in there. I think the motion and also the shape of the cradle swing really helped him. He is 6 months now and I just stopped using the swing - partyly because I felt guilty because he could sleep in the swing for hours.

Trust me it was a godsend.I don't know what I would have done w/out it the 1st couple of months

Regards
T.

Keep laying her down, and stick with it. Try reading The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer- basically you have trained her to sleep while being held, and obviously that's better than the not as warm bed- also, do you swaddle her? She's still young enough she could be startling herself awake. Try swaddling her and laying her down drowsy, and even if she seems wide awake let her hang out, at least until she gets upset. Also, make sure there's not too much stimulation in her crib. It's a place for sleeping, not playing, so really there shouldn't be any toys at all. I am not a fan of cry it out for a lot of reasons, but in a moderate approach I don't think there's anything wrong with a little fussing- you're probably starting to figure out her different cries, go with your gut and try not to jump up and get her at every little noise. It takes a while to change the habit, though, so be patient!

I SO feel your pain. My daughter did not nap outside our arms until she was 6 months old- and even then if we got 30 minutes out of her we were thrilled. She always did better at night, but that was because she didn't sleep during the day except for catnaps in the car. I read everything out there, too and what worked for us was Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (I can't remember his name) and Ferber (the one where you let them cry it out and gradually longer intervals). The first book talks alot about the brain and developmentally appropriate sleep at each stage, so that good info to know because once you figure one thing out, it'll change on you. I would not let her cry it out just yet though. I would try to lay her down consistently at the same times each day (the first nap is usually around 9:00 and then every couple of hours or so- I think). Lay her down with the same routine each time. At first it probably won't work, and let her cry for however long you can stomach it, and then hold her, put her in the swing or sling- I think she is too young for you to be creating bad habits just yet. Nighttime will probably fall into place first and the naps will come. My kid was never one who could sleep anywhere or nap in the stroller/carrier while shopping, so I felt like I was tied to the house ALOT. The book talks about the importance of consistent sleep environment- some kids don't need it, but some do.

I would suggest just reading everything out there- I don't think there is a one size fits all solution. Different things work for different kids.

Good Luck!

Does she give you any cues that she is tired? (cranky, unhappy, rubs eyes, red/puffy eyelids) If so, put her down in the crib at the FIRST signs of tiredness.

I remember the same fustrations...being afraid to move or put baby down for fear of waking her. Rather than wait till you think she is zonked, let her fall in to sleep in the crib. She is at the age now of being aware of her surroundings and this could be why she is unhappy at the change from arms to crib. Teach her how to self-sooth now, and life will be sooooo much easier in the long run.

My 6 month old has been on this routine for months and it is great... after 1-3 hours of awake, if she shows any of those signs, down she goes...to the crib, immediately. At first I would stand there and comfort her with my hand or give her the pacifier, now I only sometimes give her the pacifier (if she seems to need it) and leave the room almost immediately. She is usually asleep after <5min.

Also, at night, you might want to try just soothing her w/o nursing (rocking her/pacifier/standing by crib w/o picking up...) and she will get out of the night eating habit. (Yes, it's VERY HARD to bear the crying for a few nights, but it WILL work!)
Soon enough, she will be such a good sleeper, you will get to sleep the entire night w/o feedings! hurray!

Good luck!
-K. (1st time mom, part-time teacher, married 5 years)

I am having the same problem. My daughter is 2 1/2 months old. She is getting better, but she has the same issue. There are times that we wait 30 minutes and as soon as we put her down she is up. She doesn't like to be swaddled anymore, so that makes it more difficult, but she does sleep in a sleep sack. It obviously is not the same thing, but it helps a little. She is also getting better at night. We are now sleeping through the night. She gets up at 5:30 a.m. for which I can't complain. I hope that there is someone who can give us some suggestions. I am also an at home, married, first time mother. Wish us luck!

Contact Davis Erhler at www.3daysleep.com
She is AWESOME! My baby sleeps 12hrs/night and is on a great schedule because of her. I threw out all of my books after I talked to her and she made so much sense. She is WELL WORTH the money because my husband and I rest well at night and our baby is so happy because he gets his well sleep.
Good luck to you! :)